Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[AltisticRight]

That pizza looks like every episode of Kitchen Nightmares combined, which is a fucking achievement.

If God loves pizza, he's making a special place for Jack that's beyond Hell.

 

[The Early 2000s]

View attachment 5918528

That Frankenstein pizza looks fucking rancid. I don't know how Jack can look at this shit and consider it healthy.

 

[Adamska]

Does anybody want to guess what it's actually made of? It looks like a bunch of scrambled eggs, prepackaged cheese, ground beef (or possibly sausage?), and some pepperoni all on one of those precooked pizza crusts (which Jack will claim is actually carnivore) all burnt to an appetizing crisp in the oven.

The crust is likely more retarded cheese alchemy bullshit, since Jack keeps proving his insanity by trying to constantly attempt to make a cheese crisp taste like bread and sulk while lie about it being gud in the process. This is likely thickened with some form of meat or something horrid.

From there is an unholy blasting of shreddy cheese, breakfast and spicy sausage, hamburger, and pepperoni. There doesn't seem to be a sauce, but if there would be one, I'd probably go with it being a white sauce or just butter or bacon grease.

 

[Incredible Mister]

View attachment 5918528

10 years of doing this and still has no idea of how to take an appealing photo. you'd think with the amount of retarded gadgets he buys he would eventually spend some money on a quality camera and lighting, but no that is obviously less important than reviewing the 500th as seen on tv blender.

not that I'm trying to imply that anything could actually make this meat and cheese slop look good, of course.

 

[AnOminous]

not that I'm trying to imply that anything could actually make this meat and cheese slop look good, of course.

Incidentally here's a recipe for one of these where the picture doesn't look revolting like Jack's:

https://ash-eats.com/carnivore-pizza/

 

[ZipDisk]

The Fillet Mignon at Winston's on the Queen Mary is a fucking magic trick, I swear. People talk about "not needing a knife" for tender steak, but the fillet mignon at Winston's parts with a fork. That's not hyperbole in any way.
It's not the best steak I've ever had, but I'm an ornery fuck, and what I like in a steak is likely trailer trash grade compared to that filet mignon. I just like different things. I'll take damn near burnt steak tips over a fine sirloin. Someone mentioned A1 a while back, and it reminded me of shitty steaks and watching star trek with my dad. A1 is a magic potion.

Even the price was reasonable. The only thing I disliked about Winston's was the dress code, but I came prepared. Eating is not a formality, and one should not require a fucking sports jacket to eat a steak.
I'll rock formal pants and nice shoes any day, but I'll be dipped in shit before I wear a tie to dinner. A dress shirt is the most I'll do. And that one was silk.

Charging for butter is faggotry.

 

[Judas Connor Moon]

For posterity. Kind of jarring to hear him acknowledge his dead arm considering how often he tries to pretend it's still functional.
View attachment 5917477

The rare moment of self-awareness. He makes a good joke and he knows people would think it's funny. He jokes but I can see him amputate his dead arm and try to trade it for food.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Does anybody want to guess what it's actually made of? It looks like a bunch of scrambled eggs, prepackaged cheese, ground beef (or possibly sausage?), and some pepperoni all on one of those precooked pizza crusts (which Jack will claim is actually carnivore) all burnt to an appetizing crisp in the oven.

He's made something similar before using canned chicken for the base and holding it together with either eggs, shreddy cheese or both. That's why he had to bake it first so the "crust" would set.

Incidentally here's a recipe for one of these where the picture doesn't look revolting like Jack's:

https://ash-eats.com/carnivore-pizza/

That actually looks decent but I can see where that guy went right and Fatty went wrong.

For the decent looking carnivore pizza he takes actual raw ground chicken as well as things like pork rinds and eggs then blends them together to form a paste. Fatty takes canned chicken and mixes it together with eggs and probably shreddy cheese and hopes for the best.

He jokes but I can see him amputate his dead arm and try to trade it for food.

Of course. His arm is useless. Might as well get some value from it.

 

[p1138]

Of course. His arm is useless. Might as well get some value from it.

If he amputates his arm do we finally get Fatty cooking long pig, and smoking the "ultimate pulpork"?

 

[Caligura]

Crossover with the Sonos thread.

Tried making a song about Jack. Still scuffed as fuck, I'm impresded with this rough draft.

- Scalfani's Gulch -

[Intro]
The year is 2049.
Nashville now goes by one name - Scalfani's Gulch.
Upon the throne sits decayed flesh held ever animating by the demon within.
God-Emperor Jack reigns as the immortal Slop King.

[Verse 1]
Through smog-filled streets he lumbers without end
Leaving ruins where kitchens once had stood
Though five thousand strokes couldn't take him at last
The Wendigo's command keeps his corpse ever-masked

[Hook]
Lord of slops eternal, the Slop King on high
Your ruined form rules in a squalid sty
The beast has long claimed your every part
Now only the drive to gorge holds your heart

[Verse 2]
From his tower of offal the gnashing does sound
As plate after plate hits the filthy ground
Technology keeps this ghoul uprising
While the demon within holds his soul for devouring

[Repeat Hook]

 

[AltisticRight]

If he amputates his arm do we finally get Fatty cooking long pig, and smoking the "ultimate pulpork"?

He'll be able to get a metal one bestowed to him by his master so he can handle all the burnt steaks and pizzas he can create with his abominable alchemy.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

He'll be able to get a metal one bestowed to him by his master so he can handle all the burnt steaks and pizzas he can create with his abominable alchemy.

Psyonics would be glad to help.

 

[SaintChristopher69]

Can't wait for Jack to drop a fax machine video in 2050 and call it the next big thing in communication!

 

[Super Hans v2]

Can't wait for Jack to drop a fax machine video in 2050 and call it the next big thing in communication!

If somebody sent me a sticker of Jack making one of his faggot faces I'd burn their Minecraft house down.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Can't wait for Jack to drop a fax machine video in 2050 and call it the next big thing in communication!

Just what this faggot needs. More things with his retarded face on them.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Can't wait for Jack to drop a fax machine video in 2050 and call it the next big thing in communication!

have fun

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

H̵̘͒ ̶̱̰̅͗͝ͅȄ̸̺ ̶͚́Ỵ̷͎͗ ̶̧̮̮̑G̴̹͔̑Ù̷͉͒͒Y̴̰̹͕͗S̵̡͉̻̃
̸̱͍̘̈
̸̥͇̙̉J̵̯̜͒͘Ȃ̵̫̭̣̏͛C̴̪̲̋͊K̶̼͉͑ͅ ̴͎̾͛Ṣ̶͍̰͂͋̂C̷̠͝À̷͉̊L̵̡̈́̓ͅF̸̛͈̦̾ͅA̶͇̦͔̚͠N̴͓̻̆̈́Í̴͚͔ ̶͙͙̩͋̋ ̷̺͐̾Ḧ̷͙̹́̓̎E̸̫̮̾R̸͙̭̀̐̽ͅÉ̶̯͝

 

[eatler]

H̵̘͒ ̶̱̰̅͗͝ͅȄ̸̺ ̶͚́Ỵ̷͎͗ ̶̧̮̮̑G̴̹͔̑Ù̷͉͒͒Y̴̰̹͕͗S̵̡͉̻̃
̸̱͍̘̈
̸̥͇̙̉J̵̯̜͒͘Ȃ̵̫̭̣̏͛C̴̪̲̋͊K̶̼͉͑ͅ ̴͎̾͛Ṣ̶͍̰͂͋̂C̷̠͝À̷͉̊L̵̡̈́̓ͅF̸̛͈̦̾ͅA̶͇̦͔̚͠N̴͓̻̆̈́Í̴͚͔ ̶͙͙̩͋̋ ̷̺͐̾Ḧ̷͙̹́̓̎E̸̫̮̾R̸͙̭̀̐̽ͅÉ̶̯͝
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What stage of windigo is this?

 

[Puggers]

Fatty is writing on his future home's frame like a child.

Do boomer Christians actually do this shit? Or, or is it just jack being retarded again?

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Fatty is writing on his future home's frame like a child.

Do boomer Christians actually do this shit? Or, or is it just jack being retarded again?

Evangelicals are retarded and do shit like this and then brag about that. To them if you say you love god that is all that matters and you don't even have to do what Jesus actually said to do (because that's hard)