Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Crocodylus Acutus]

This is a MILLION times more frightening than Mandela Megan. WTF, Nick. I'm not even joking right now, this ain't shitposting, a bit, anything. That face is utterly deranged. The man needs exorcism as much as he needs sobriety, and I'm dead serious.

Oooooh Ramen, you might have escaped the clutches of Mandela Megan, but Rekieta has come to finish the job...

 

[Homer Simpson]

Agreed. Once again, Nick proves that his strength was commentary and not being the content itself. In terms of comedy, Nick was better off reacting to bizarre content by pointing out the obvious humor because he just isn't creative enough to make good jokes on his own.

I tried watching another trial he was covering during the day after he started to decline, and he was by himself just making little quips that weren't funny, and if anyone said they wanted to watch the trial, he would tell them to leave. He wasn't even doing commentary. I didn't even last 20 minutes it was just bad.

Sometimes failing hard is part of the process of being a comedian. Not every joke lands, sometimes your crash and burn, but when that happens the goal of more successful comedians is to not just try again, but to also improve their methods/material and learn how to better read the room (which is especially important when doing improvisational comedy). Of course Nick isn't interested in any of that and it shows.

True. Heard it many times from comedians saying they will go to clubs unannounced and try material, then remove what got bad reactions and keep what got good reactions. Some doing entire routines, but not liking em and throwing them out.

Nick has been ruined by his success. He makes money telling "jokes" on his show so he thinks he can do it on stage.

 

[you lucky bastard]

Why does he keep on checking on lady rackets? Is that a code for coke?

 

[Space Pope]

Why does he keep on checking on lady rackets? Is that a code for coke?

It's code for making sure Lady Rackets has not asphyxiated on her own vomit, passed out face down in the bathtub or did an Andrea Yates while unsupervised.

@Balldo's Gate posted:
Kurt is horrified and points out that if he knew about it, he could have reported it, which Rekieta disagrees with.

Another lie. Nicki does talk to cops.

UPON STOP DRIVER STATED BRING CHILD TO SPEECH MEET AND DID NOT KNOW HE WAS GOING THAT FAST. DRIVER
STATED WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION.

 

[Sharpeteer]

Why does he keep on checking on lady rackets? Is that a code for coke?

Make sure she's not dead. In laws would he really mad at him if she OD'ed, and that would be a whole new set of problems preventing him from living his best life.

But if she ever did, well that would be the moment they both dreamed about.

 

[House Cat]

Kino live right now talking about the pathetic Nick/Mersh crossover... this is... a lot...even for the internet: https://kick.com/kinocasinogaming

 

[Maude Snew]

Another lie. Nicki does talk to cops.

With his income, fan base, and liver function dwindling he's so poor he can't afford to even pay attention anymore. Tragic.

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

Oooooh Ramen, you might have escaped the clutches of Mandela Megan, but Rekieta has come to finish the job...
View attachment 5943653

FUCK YOU I HAD THE LIGHTS OUT

 

[mindlessobserver]

It's code for making sure Lady Rackets has not asphyxiated on her own vomit, passed out face down in the bathtub or did an Andrea Yates while unsupervised.



Another lie. Nicki does talk to cops.

View attachment 5943741

I don't know whats more horrifying, going 80 in a 65 while its raining with a kid in the back, or the license plate that reads LAWPOPE.

 

[AnOminous]

I don't know whats more horrifying, going 80 in a 65 while its raining with a kid in the back, or the license plate that reads LAWPOPE.

Because it's a great idea to advertise that you're a lawyer to the cop pulling you over. I'd rather be playing "Fuck the Police" at top volume, it would piss them off less.

 

[Mr.Bucket]

I don't know whats more horrifying, going 80 in a 65 while its raining with a kid in the back, or the license plate that reads LAWPOPE.

Oh that kid would be sitting up front. Mustangs have a back seat only in theory, not in practice. I had a 2015 and nobody could ever use the back seat in that thing.

 

[Captain Manning]

Another lie. Nicki does talk to cops.

The citing officer is named Joshua.



Nice.

It would be funnier still if there were one additional O and he were were pulled over by Joshua Moonson.

 

[Sharpeteer]

The citing officer is named Joshua.

View attachment 5943870

Nice.

It would be funnier still if there were one additional O and he were were pulled over by Joshua Moonson.

I laughed in my car after seeing that.

That would have been the most amazing thing. Even the fact that the officer's name is this close to Joshua Moon feels like a gift. It's like they know.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

I think he thinks if he brute forces things, he'll get somewhere eventually. He probably learned that from Dax, who thinks the pinnacle of humor is fat women.

For example, he's bound and determined to ram Steven Hawking down everybody's throat for some reason.

It reminds me of the old 4Chan thing: Milhouse is not a meme, however "Milhouse is not a meme" is a meme.

Or how Amy Schumer's vagina jokes aren't funny, but the fact she won't shut the fuck up about her vagina is.

Similarly, Nick's Steven Hawking jokes aren't funny, but the fact he thinks they're funny is kinda funny.

Nick thinking he's telling jokes is the joke.

No stalker child, YOU misunderstood the joke! It is not *I* that is lacking in comedy. Enjoy boredom, incel prude!

Does anyone happen to know the origin of that metal RTX mug? I was assuming it was an Nvidia promotional/pack-in thing but I'm having no luck turning it up. I'm going to laugh if he paid insane scalper prices for some top-of-the-line early adopter bundle with all the extras.

IIRC he claimed on stream that he got it from a food truck or restaurant in Texas, but since he lies about everything its probably an Nvidia mug to celebrate RTX GPU's.

I thought he got it from a Renaissance Faire. Ren Fair Texas, perhaps? I remember him talking about Vegetable Justice and the man in the pillory mocking everyone, the large ham legs, and I thought he got it there for an exorbitant price.

Kurt strikes me as the kind of guy who loves his friends, warts and all. Not in the sense that he loves the warts, but that he acknowledges that the warts exist and loves his friends despite them (while hoping they eventually find a cream that will treat those stinking warts). He won't noseguard, or say that anyone else should stick around and learn to enjoy the warts, but it will take a lot to push him away. If Kurt ever cuts ties with Nick it'll be a major crossing of the Rubicon moment, likely after some major scandal that either personally affected Kurt or can't be shrugged off in a "they're just words" kind of way

I think he has NO friends and is afraid to lose them. He does his own content and no one will ever attribute Balldo shenanigans to him, so he is mostly in the clear. As you say, something egregious could get him to cut ties.

I have opinions about people that spend this kind of money on video cards. None of them are good.

There's a sucker born every minute; don't let it be you.

Nick thinks that spending more money makes it more better.

The citing officer is named Joshua.

View attachment 5943870

Nice.

It would be funnier still if there were one additional O and he were were pulled over by Joshua Moonson.

It was raining and 'monsoon' was right there for the joke... I am slightly disappointed in you...

*Bad joke filter off*

 

[Belgians in the Congo]

It's like they know

God works in equal parts mysterious and hilarious ways.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

Another lie. Nicki does talk to cops.

Ironically, this has actually been great advice from him. To be polite, but not talk about your day and just say no to things. I.E. "Do you know the speed limit?" "Do you know how fast you were going?"

I got out of doing 80 in a back alley downtown by doing this. Unironically thanks Balldo.

 

[mindlessobserver]

The first question a cop always asks is "do you know why I pulled you over?".

Just say no.

 

[Sharpeteer]

God works in equal parts mysterious and hilarious ways.

Blessings on this thread.

"We got a Nicholas Rekieta."
"...Hey, is Monson on duty today?"
"Yes?"
"You, go talk to him. Just trust me on this."

Then he waits patiently at his computer with Nick's thread pulled up in a separate tab, just waiting for when it gets mentioned.

Ironically, this has actually been great advice from him. To be polite, but not talk about your day and just say no to things. I.E. "Do you know the speed limit?" "Do you know how fast you were going?"

I got out of doing 80 in a back alley downtown by doing this. Unironically thanks Balldo.

Interesting tidbit - I remember a few times Nick and Ty Beard talked about this back in the good ol' days. Nick's position was never say anything but one word answers that don't actually give them anything. Ty's position was to just be polite, and don't try to give them any kind of attitude or trouble, and they always just let him go. It's possible they knew Ty was a lawyer, but either way, he claimed he had very good luck just using the "be polite" method.

While Nick's idea is a good one, the fact that HE suggested it makes me question it. this guy fucked up a SPEEDING TICKET for a client.

 

[Captain Manning]

Ironically, this has actually been great advice from him. To be polite, but not talk about your day and just say no to things. I.E. "Do you know the speed limit?" "Do you know how fast you were going?"

I got out of doing 80 in a back alley downtown by doing this. Unironically thanks Balldo.

Far better attorneys than Nick have been saying this for a long time. I must have posted Pot Brothers at Law to KF like 3 or 4 times now. I am not into marijuana, or any other drug, but they have the best short videos on how to deal with police encounters.

Incidentally, California recently made it so officers can no longer ask you "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Instead, they must immediately tell you the reason they pulled you over.

https://www.kqed.org/news/11974283/police-can-no-longer-ask-do-you-know-why-i-pulled-you-over-in-california-heres-why

 

[Space Pope]

Interesting tidbit - I remember a few times Nick and Ty Beard talked about this back in the good ol' days. Nick's position was never say anything but one word answers that don't actually give them anything. Ty's position was to just be polite, and don't try to give them any kind of attitude or trouble, and they always just let him go. It's possible they knew Ty was a lawyer, but either way, he claimed he had very good luck just using the "be polite" method.

While Nick's idea is a good one, the fact that HE suggested it makes me question it. this guy fucked up a SPEEDING TICKET for a client.

Did either of them say to tell the cop you weren't paying attention to your speed while driving your rear-wheel drive sports car in wet, rainy conditions with your kid in the car?