Careercow Ben Collins / Benjamin Thomas Collins / @oneunderscore__ - Journo Scum

[draggs]

What the internet really needs is moar longform Ben Collins passive-aggressive seething

+ "comedy" skit Ben Collins seething!

 

[A. G. Peak]

So Ben is some kind of rich trust fund kid?

Jeff Lawson is providing the majority of capital.


Source

Here are Lawson's tweets on the purchase.


Thread

If things don't go as planned and they end up having to make cuts of some kind, I expect there to be an entertaining blowup. Here was a statement from The Onion Union after layoffs in November.


Tweet

 

[draggs]

Get paid pennies to produce clickbait
Also have to pay union dues

Journoscum feltings will continue until morale improves

 

[Symalsa]

Do they think they’re going to turn this around or Make the Onion Great Again?

 

[innocent jogger]

I hope the archives of actually funny stuff don't get nuked. I like to binge read all of the Jim Anchower columns about once a year.

 

[Pedophobe]

This was always my favorite Onion article:
https://www.theonion.com/humanity-still-producing-new-art-as-though-megadeth-s-1819578062

The Onion hasn’t written fun things like this in years, so I’m guessing that will only continue to get worse under Benny and his gaggle of retards.

Since we're reminiscing here's my fave:

https://www.theonion.com/male-orgasm-captured-on-film-1819565337

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

I hope the archives of actually funny stuff don't get nuked. I like to binge read all of the Jim Anchower columns about once a year.

You may want to get to archiving because guys like Ben Collins don't appreciate humor.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Here's a personal favorite that I go back to from time to time:

ACLU Defends Nazis' Right To Burn Down ACLU Headquarters

archived 4 Jun 2021 19:24:51 UTC

archive.ph

ACLU Defends Nazis' Right To Burn Down ACLU Headquarters

NEW YORK—At a press conference Monday, American Civil Liberties Union officials announced that the organization will go to court to defend a neo-Nazi group's right to burn down ACLU headquarters.

www.theonion.com

 

[Say What Now?]

I am old enough that I was around when The Onion was just a rag that you only found at stores and bars around the campus of the University of Wisconsin Madison. My favorites are:
Why Somebody Always Around Every Time I Drop My Baby?
And
I Can't Stand My Filthy Hippie Owner

 

[InteracialBowelSyndrome]

LMAO what a start for the new Onion. In his opening statement their biggest investor begs for money.

The site is bankrupt. Imagine a new CEO introduces himself and goes "By the way, we're broke," at the first shareholder meeting.

AND he made Bachi-Boy Ben the CEO?

Grab the popcorn, my friends. This lolcow is about to give us a whole lot more milk.

 

[Super-Chevy454]

In an earlier post, I mentioned by wondering if Ben Collins will sale the Onion to Elon Musk. Well it was to keep it away from Elon Musk. Let's see for how long he'll keep it away.

 

[General Emílio Médici]

Musk would be better off buying the Babylon Bee and making them go back to being funny than trying to salvage The Onion after almost a decade and a half of slow decline.

 

[Torque Wheeler]

It's weird reading this thread while this smarmy asshole does he interview on NPR

 

[Blonrad Blurze]

Honestly watching it crumble to dust in his arms will be pretty funny. Him sucking dick for rent money and dying after getting stabbed in the head by an angry black man is the optimal outcome. Hope this wretched, aids ridden faggot perishes soon.

 

[Trianon]

What the internet really needs is moar longform Ben Collins passive-aggressive seething

+ "comedy" skit Ben Collins seething!

Even better, he's going to pack all the longform seething into the headline.


link

 

[AnOminous]

Honestly watching it crumble to dust in his arms will be pretty funny. Him sucking dick for rent money and dying after getting stabbed in the head by an angry black man is the optimal outcome. Hope this wretched, aids ridden faggot perishes soon.

Nothing will happen to him. His rich parents will bail him out just like they have his entire life. He's a trust fund retard who has never had to do anything useful.

 

[kcbbq]

LMAO what a start for the new Onion. In his opening statement their biggest investor begs for money.

The site is bankrupt. Imagine a new CEO introduces himself and goes "By the way, we're broke," at the first shareholder meeting.

AND he made Bachi-Boy Ben the CEO?

Grab the popcorn, my friends. This lolcow is about to give us a whole lot more milk.

I think the joke the Bee loaned The Onion was Ben himself.

 

[draggs]

Even better, he's going to pack all the longform seething into the headline.

View attachment 5955757
link

brilliant comedy except it lacks the essential quality of being funny

there's ways to make that funny but ben didn't do any of them

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Even better, he's going to pack all the longform seething into the headline.

View attachment 5955757
link

Already did this joke, Ben, and better:

https://www.theonion.com/blood-soaked-mayor-bloomberg-announces-homelessness-no-1819575714

 

[Useful_Mistake]

i thought Ben's humor reminded me of something, and now I remembered what. His joke is just this sketch:

Except this is a funny sketch that used the bad humor to build up to the cheesy punchline. Ben's humor, on the other hand, is building up to nothing, and there's no punchline.