Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

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Spoiler: Standalone Joshua Monson heads

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This had me laughing for solid minutes. Bravo!

Michael Phelps claimed to be eating 8000-10000 calories a day while training for the Olympics. You'd think someone who lies as much as Nick would know how to tell a believable one.

Another group that eats 10k a day (or as much as twice that) is sumo wrestlers, who are actual athletes as well.

But Nick, of all humans in the world, has a metabolism that defies the physical law of conservation of matter.

He hates you and everyone in his audience and has such utter contempt for everyone else he thinks he can just make up whatever brain-pickled bullshit he likes and people will just believe it. He might be right considering how few people in his retard audience questioned his "107 degree fever" lie.

107 Fahrenheit fever... Need I say more...

Nick must have been a bad lawyer if he could not come up with convincing excuses in court to help his clients.

It also might explain his women repellence in his teens when his advice is 'just lie' according to a recent @elb clip. He told others to do what he cannot do himself.

 

[ducktales4gameboy]

Agreed on that diet. He'd have to be basically doing a mukbang during his stream to hit the low end of those numbers. I did that in college for powerlifting and hitting even 4K is difficult unless you're drinking all your calories (and you can't booze either) plus you get accustomed to it and wind up needing to eat regularly on a deathfat type schedule whether you like it or not.

Michael Phelps claimed to be eating 8000-10000 calories a day while training for the Olympics. You'd think someone who lies as much as Nick would know how to tell a believable one.

That's believable. Swimming in cold water burns crazy amounts of calories due to how fast water conducts heat.

 

[Mr.Bucket]

Whomst the FUCK is thirstposting for Kayla here? Point out the retard so we may laugh at them.



I'll remove my encapsulating query marks around 'drunkenly' in the OP if it happens.

Some notes, I discovered there is a 64k character limit per post on the forum. The OP speaks by just under that.

You could de-britify it and probably shave a few characters off. Remove 'u's from colour, etc. etc. etc.

 

[Sharpeteer]

Whomst the FUCK is thirstposting for Kayla here? Point out the retard so we may laugh at them.

The only one in here I could think of that might still think she's hot is Fapcop.

But I'm not going to say that's for sure. I really don't want to go back and look through the really old posts. I haven't seen anyone thirst for our mannequin in quite some time.

You could de-britify it and probably shave a few characters off. Remove 'u's from colour, etc. etc. etc.

No, I say leave it in there. They have to know.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

0 chance that Nick ever hit the low end of the range. Strongmen, who do physical working out to inhuman limits, eat 10k calories a day and it's disgusting to watch them eat.

I've maintained a 3-4k calorie diet before when I was doing very intensive cario based labor, it sucked ass to find that much to eat. Two of my go to meals when I was low for the day were, 3 McDoubles, large fries, large soda, 2000~ calories or a large dominos pizza 2200~ calories.. All of these sucked to choke down and my gut would be bursting afterwards. No way Nick could ever polished off 3 to 5 of those meals throughout the day.

Here's an example of a 12k calorie day

Sumo wrestlers too eat like 7k calories a day to bulk up and despite their stature are mostly muscle.
I"d wager he is either exaggerating or dumb enough to think a whole pizza is 3k.

 

[Retink Retunk]

Sumo wrestlers too eat like 7k calories a day to bulk up and despite their stature are mostly muscle.

Sumos can be mostly fat, but even then they work out enough to keep a lot of muscle under the fat. Basically, they build muscle first, then put on a ton of fat, so when they are out of season they slim down to normal size but as long as they're doing sumo they can be proper blubbernauts.

Sumos are wreid.

 

[Arcade Gannon]

I know she has some thirst posters in here but my god she legit looks like something out of a horror movie to me. It's kinda crazy how little she resembles her old natural self.

 

[AnOminous]

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Looks like Richard D. James.

 

[MajinGoku]

Why hasnt rekieta ever used his youtube money to fix his ugly nose

 

[Gorton Colu]

Few things are more amusing than low IQ liars like Nick. Too dumb to just not lie, and too retarded to lie convincingly.

Nick is halfway decent sometimes at the demeanor and tone aspect of lying. He probably learned to do this to deceive his parents. However, he is absolutely inept at formulating plausible and logical lies.

As an occasional deception employer, it is far more important to be plausible than it is to be charismatic or blasé when telling a lie.

 

[feral cat #6385]

Why hasnt rekieta ever used his youtube money to fix his ugly nose

Antisemite!

 

[Bland Crumbs]

Women who talk like this are truly disgusting.

Edit: Nick claims he would eat 6-10k calories a day and not gain any weight until age 33.
What a....what kind of activities would you have to do to burn that? What kind of natural metabolism would you need to not gain weight on that? How many calories would one have to eat as a child and during puberty to grow if that was true?

During bulking periods when I was seriously lifting I was eating like 3500-4k calories. That was a lot of eating. I cannot even imagine doubling that consumption. It also shows how addled Nick's brain is that he thinks anyone would buy that bridge.

107 Fahrenheit fever... Need I say more...

107 proof hangover.

Why hasnt rekieta ever used his youtube money to fix his ugly nose

He cannot find a paper bag big enough to cover that honker.

 

[Chazzed Up]

Aaron Imholte, another subscriber to the loud = funny school of comedy.

That segment you timestamped was interesting. It appears that the Imholtes are yet another couple who use their sex life in a bid for attention on the Internet (see April's chat on the right of the screen).

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The Rekieta's and Imholte's seem to hold much in common. They truly deserve each other.

I guess that explains why he isn't making her cum, if all he's doing is fucking her ass. Between that and Nick fucking Kayla with the Balldo, the wives probably are better off dumping the fags and getting each other off.

 

[Peace Through Power]

Women who talk like this are truly disgusting.

Edit: Nick claims he would eat 6-10k calories a day and not gain any weight until age 33.
What a....what kind of activities would you have to do to burn that? What kind of natural metabolism would you need to not gain weight on that? How many calories would one have to eat as a child and during puberty to grow if that was true?

It's 100 % bullshit. He probably was eating some more calories at 33, but not 6-10k. He did claim that he ran a marathon and practiced heavily for it at 33. A year later he conveniently couldn't do it anymore because of his newly acquired heat allergy.

Spoiler

Rekieta Law - Russell GreerStream Chapter 4 - With Peach Saliva! (November 2. 201

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rACoknsJ-dU

at 1:10:38

 

[Ice Gun Ninja]

Kurt has one of the most homosexual voices? You’ve heard Rekieta speak. Now compare.
Nick’s voice oozes faggotry.

Kurt might be a homo, but he will never be as homo as EVS.

 

[AnOminous]

Kurt might be a homo, but he will never be as homo as EVS.

What inspired this outburst of extreme fagrage?

 

[Ice Gun Ninja]

What inspired this outburst of extreme fagrage?

He was watching a video of Eric July talking to AZ (heel vs baby face)

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/community-driven-happenings-feed-version-2.114933/post-18262475

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

Kurt might be a homo, but he will never be as homo as EVS.
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You can't just drop that and leave us hanging.

Edit:

He was watching a video of Eric July talking to AZ (heel vs baby face)

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/community-driven-happenings-feed-version-2.114933/post-18262475

Edit 2: Meh. Seems like he got tired of az doing the sperg scream. I get it. Still lulzy, but I get it.

 

[macrodegenerate]

Women who talk like this are truly disgusting.

Edit: Nick claims he would eat 6-10k calories a day and not gain any weight until age 33.
What a....what kind of activities would you have to do to burn that? What kind of natural metabolism would you need to not gain weight on that? How many calories would one have to eat as a child and during puberty to grow if that was true?

Isn't 3.5k calories like a pound of fat? If the average person had a calorie excess of 3k a day(I think Nick could consume at most 3.5k a day with his current lifestyle.), wouldn't they end up gaining like 300lbs a year?

 

[AnOminous]

If the average person had a calorie excess of 3k a day(I think Nick could consume at most 3.5k a day with his current lifestyle.)

He wouldn't look like a walking skeleton on 3.5k a day.