Quinton Reviews / Quinton Kyle Hoover / Q_Review / OttselSpy24 / OttselSpy25 - I KNOW WE HIT THE LIMIT FOR ME TO DO THEM, BUT THOSE THINGS TAKE TIME, NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK ABOUT GARFIELD AND MCDONALDS, WHILE MOCKING OTHER YOUTUBERS!!

[Lurker Child]

I completely forget about Quinton Reviews so when I saw his video on Dan Schneider in my recommended on Youtube I decided to watch it. It was actually pretty good for the first 25 minutes or so, elaborating on Dan Schneider's past that I wasn't aware of. Then Quinton showed his face.

Mind you, I completely forgot who this guy was or how he looked like. I physically recoiled in disgust in my chair and took the video out of fullscreen. I felt physically uncomfortable having this guy on my screen. The only other time that's happened is with this guy:

From this video:

 

[Rotollo 2]

He better pray that lady Emily doesn't do some sort of call out on him like she did with Chugga or he's going to find out what it means to be canceled by your own side

the flower gothic shit was lady Emily trying to do that, it's just Emily is that incompetent that ze decided to hitch zir wagon to a bpd schizo.

 

[TVB]

He looks like a Mexican version of the Pissed Off Angry Gamer

 

[Dirk Dinkum]

Quinton has a mental brake down, thinks the overly long Icarly videos will lead to him getting doxed, makes him dread releasing content
Your browser is not able to display this video.

bruh sound effect
Quinton is here doing a soliloquy about stepping down from 'a cold war' to make longer and longer videos with other people while talking about licensed video game cutscenes and all I can think of is that his NSU videos are the YouTube equivalent of The Loud House: Revamped.

Quinton is trying the plushie thing again, hides it in this 7 hour long video, and talks about how his parasocial relationships makes him unable to be friends with fans of his anymore

Here's the eulogy for the first time Q tried to sell a plushie. What you need to know is that he barely managed to sell half of those, his diehards at the Quew bought several ones, the campaign received 4 extensions and Q had to buy almost almost 200 to offer them as a Patreon reward. It was also marked as sold out for that alone.
Tonight, we queue the Quew to see this campaign in more detail.

This is Tales from the Quew: The Search for More Money.

Spoiler: A while ago, in the Upper South...

Qoomrade Quinton and the Quew have maintained the balance of Nickelodeorians in the Quewniverse and expanded the word of the Garf across the Interwebs. But this age of plenty may be about to reach its logical end as Professor Russ Insano has dropped the legendary Hillbilly Day Review that threw the Quewniverse of balance. Qoomrade Quinton has performed his last move to try to preserve his conquest: The Nickstorians Unite!
Muslim Queen, Qanon, Harpy, Zygon and all the other retards have gone into doing more productive things of their lives, burned out on the Qoomrade. But the end of the Nickstorian Saga may spell the return of the Qiwi Jihad at its full strength... or maybe simply more meme edits. With Johnmas banished into the closet is hard to tell.
Quinton Jr II remains the thickest hope for the Quintonian & Quintonette camp. His appearance an improvement over his generic Makeship half-brother and namesake may usher a new era of marketable garbage. How long until someone puts him in a tough jar?

Note: Q did leak the design but swiftly deleted it. He did the same with the Makeship plush but that time I could screencap it.

First extension: 50. Forgot I was reading shit from a month ago and was about to say how impressive it was to (amount they ended up selling) in 4 days. I should know better.




Quinton managed to double the sells because this time he did what ComicDatabase told him to do three years ago: Use the community tab to create FOMO.

Three years ago Quinton was malding some redditor told him to do the same thing. Takes him a whole day to ban him.




I would be willing to call this a W (the earnings for the plushies alone would be $17.5k) but there are two issues:
The memes that he would look rough for someone ten years his senior and that his last two videos haven't performed viewswise.

These aren't bad numbers but they are a far cry from the Nickstorian videos. It'd probably be at least a week or two before you can judge the Nicktoons Unite one, but yeah, it doesn't look promising if we assume everyone just jumped to the Beverly Hillbillies mirror and is waiting to finish it to jump into this one.

 

[Nonronic]

I honestly think Quinton is a fairly competent content creator that's funny and comfy. The worst I've ever really seen him do is occasionally antagonize the controversially dissident, and relatively rarely. He doesn't seem like he deserves flack, and if I wanted to see a new video sooner, I'll probably become a patron at some point.

Shocking to see him suddenly redpilled out of nowhere though. Life comes at you fast.

 

[Rotollo 2]

I honestly think Quinton is a fairly competent content creator that's funny and comfy. The worst I've ever really seen him do is occasionally antagonize the controversially dissident, and relatively rarely. He doesn't seem like he deserves flack, and if I wanted to see a new video sooner, I'll probably become a patron at some point.

Shocking to see him suddenly redpilled out of nowhere though. Life comes at you fast.

View attachment 5943622

Quinton "no cross on the front lawn" Kyle Hoover, is God's strongest groyper

 

[Chilson]

I honestly think Quinton is a fairly competent content creator that's funny and comfy. The worst I've ever really seen him do is occasionally antagonize the controversially dissident, and relatively rarely. He doesn't seem like he deserves flack, and if I wanted to see a new video sooner, I'll probably become a patron at some point.

Shocking to see him suddenly redpilled out of nowhere though. Life comes at you fast.

View attachment 5943622

I really can't comprehend your standards if you think Quinton is a "competent content creator". He is an even less talented Doug Walker who makes 6+ hour background noise.

And yeah, he absolutely deserves to be shit on for all his awful soyboy takes. Though I give credit that he has finally learned to be quiet on that front recently.

 

[luigismanslave]

I honestly think Quinton is a fairly competent content creator that's funny and comfy.

my brother in christ he spends 12 hours recounting the plots of 20 episode long shows for 13 year old girls with no commentary or thought. you may as well just run the wikipedia episodes page of icarly through a chatbot.

He is an even less talented Doug Walker

he's not even in the same league as doug. doug is the all star pitcher on the special olympics team, quinton is laying on the ground chewing on grass (he's fat)

 

[Rotollo 2]

new q and a vid, says he is not interested in making a drake and josh video bc of quiet on set feeling like a "pr campaign". thinks alot of videos that come put about drake and josh now that paint drake sympathetically won't age well "in 5 years when drake bell gets his own investigative documentary"
says he will still do it when he hits 1 million, just is not pursuing it as much

 

[Nonronic]

he spends 12 hours recounting the plots of 20 episode long shows for 13 year old girls

Yes.

 

[Mary Lee Harvey osWalsh]

says he is not interested in making a drake and josh video bc of quiet on set feeling like a "pr campaign". thinks alot of videos that come put about drake and josh now that paint drake sympathetically won't age well "in 5 years when drake bell gets his own investigative documentary"

My brother in Christ, what Drake did pales in comparison to what happened to him. What was it, he was texting someone whom he thought was over 18? And the judge even agreed that there was no way for Drake to know that the girl was under 18, but he still did it so he got in trouble? (My details might be wrong.) I'm not saying he's innocent but gee, sexting someone versus being buttfucked continuously as a child.... hm! I'm not sure!

What angers me is when people like Quinton put these two crimes in the same category and think they're the same amount of reprehensible.

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

new q and a vid, says he is not interested in making a drake and josh video bc of quiet on set feeling like a "pr campaign". thinks alot of videos that come put about drake and josh now that paint drake sympathetically won't age well "in 5 years when drake bell gets his own investigative documentary"
says he will still do it when he hits 1 million, just is not pursuing it as much

I watched this and I made a timestamp list but I didn't save it. What I did save were my personal highlights.

• Quinton is currently doing a storyline for his channel (like the Channel Awesome autist he is) about him being missing, hence why Russ Reviews took over the channel. The idea hasn't worked to its full potential because he likes to give people semi-periodical updates, but apparently there are people that bought his LARP and think he really disappeared.
• All the common fan questions are video ideas except for one. Basically, if you read the thread this is more repetition since Q answers questions the same way Putin did when explaining why he invaded Ukraine. Tons of context.
• Why make long videos? In as nutshell, he likes giving people a lot of content in one go. Repeats that he can only measure how successful an idea is like this and that a lot of the tangents and intermissions (like the vidya parts) probably could've been their own separate videos but were always destined to get very little attention by themselves. He does ponder a lot of his content could work as a podcast.
• Wants to make normal sized videos 'to prove the haters wrong'. Whenever he tries to sound confident he gives Brendan Schaub vibes.
• iCarly reboot. Q explains the entire story of the NSU project. He'll get to review the reboot at some point in the future but 'wants people to really, really need it', something that he recognises becomes less and less likely with the passage of time.
• Drake & Josh. @Rotollo 2 summarised really well here.
• Quinton won't review Ned's Declassified nor Big Time Rush. He was initially very excited to talk about those but the main casts of both shows are more involved in the fandoms than those of Schneider sitcoms so he can't 'make his own narrative'. Basically got spooked out of it by the Ned's Declassified podcast. According to him, BTR is going to become the next cashcow of his corner of the Internet.
• The two moments that I knew I had to clip. Spread them around if you like.

• Half of the questions are about gimmick video ideas he had before the Nick grift. Obligatory reference to depression.

• Barnyard video. It isn't cancelled, it just got sidelined by the Nick sitcom grift.
• Edit: I fucking forgot the Animorphs part. Quinton is planning on releasing blog updates on his Patreon that are meant to be the skeleton of the project and the book review aspect is going to be a ‘clipless review’ since he is going to talk about books.
• Q talks about two Garfield related Patreon goals he never delivered and aren't going to happen. Garfield Eats can't happen because it no longer exists and he had a falling out with Mazri. The clip is when he talks about Garfield horror, besides the obligatory 'there are people that made better videos' he has a quite redpilled take on the matter that some bad actors might choose to believe him being an absolutist on adults trying to expose children to stuff online for thrills. @Nonronic was right, Quinton is based.

• Q is pulling a Synecdoche, NY with his Homestuck video. I tried to include as much of it as possible because I got the vibe that maybe someone he no longer associates with, maybe Flowergothic? was involved in the concept.Refers to the project as a book club or podcast.

• This one happens before the Homestuck clip but I wanted to save it for last. Quinton is very passionate about his Every Ghost Show and is seething that no one appreciated its genius. Turns out that we all were wrong, he didn't rip the idea off from ralphthemoviemaker, with whom he talks doesn't talk to anymore, but knows is a swell guy, even though they aren't friends. He then actually talks about the plans for the Bigfoot video, how trying to prove/disprove it misses the point and ten minutes later he is still seething about Every Ghost Show and how he can't get the boys together to film with him.

 

[Flexo]

We know you were born in Richmond, KY, that you grew up in Versailles, KY, you aren't a Midwesterner.

OMG, I live within an hour or so of Q's birthplace and hometown.

I haven't felt this much horror since I learned Bob Chipman had family in my city.

 

[TVB]

I haven't felt this much horror since I learned Bob Chipman had family in my city.

So Bob Chipman's head resides in New New York? But seriously, I feel bad for you that his family lives in where you're at

 

[Dirk Dinkum]

Quew-May-Cry Update!!!!!11!!!1
This post is brought to you by the fact I went to the mall last weekend and remembered the Garfield movie was a thing.

Biggest (both figuratively and literally) Garf Fan
Quinton, obviously, goes to see the Garfield movie. What surprised even him was apparently a very fat cat may have him in its grace.

If Quinton only noticed after a while that it was signed it makes me ponder what part of the fucking poster was he looking at.

Quinton is a boomer.
Q runs a little experiment with shorts to try and improve visibility, says he'll do it for a whole month. Calls it quits a week in.



Quick diversion of Q again hyping Every Ghost Show.


Quick diversion about if people still care about the iCarly reboot.



Back to Quinton being a boomer


Quinton lasted a total of 8 days recycling what ought to be his finest funnies. The brainrot grind never ends.

I haven't watched any of them but I find it pretty funny he is considering quitting over these numbers. They aren't bad considering he just started trying it daily and that we know his actual fanbase isn't really big.

Checking his TikTok

Nope, is the same shit but worse.

Bonus: A podcast?

The Qino we'll be getting for what remains of the decade.

Muslim Queen forgot that Q said in his Fan Questions video that he had a bunch of Disney Channel ideas for really obscure stuff.


This one tickled me funny cuz a watching Homestuck in 2024 video popped in my recommended tab.

 

[Otis Boi]

I haven't watched any of them but I find it pretty funny he is considering quitting over these numbers. They aren't bad considering he just started trying it daily and that we know his actual fanbase isn't really big.

It's funny to me because videos and shorts attract two different audiences. The type of person endlessly scrolling through shorts will not translate into video viewers and vice versa.

It's very rarely a streamer with a moderate following will convert that into views for there YouTube channel and the reverse is the same.

It's surprising he doesn't know this. If he kept going he probably would have gotten a pretty good following.

 

[Dirk Dinkum]

Some mad Quintonian and/or Quintonette gave us this is case anyone wants to go through what @LiquidKid did. Btw, late af but if recounting it helps ease your pain, hit me up.

This is something I didn't include for some reason.

BrackTV is a friend of Q's dad that helped him with the Beverly Hillbillies video. I know this because someone in the Quew felt like explaining it.

Proving once again I never arrive at a bad time in by Quew explorations, something quite important happened earlier today.

Imagine being able to say you attended the same high school as Sturgill Simpson, Talcum X and Quinton Reviews.
EDIT: He kept going after I posted.

 

[LiquidKid]

I

Some mad Quintonian and/or Quintonette gave us this is case anyone wants to go through what @LiquidKid did. Btw, late af but if recounting it helps ease your pain, hit me up.
View attachment 5975580
This is something I didn't include for some reason.
View attachment 5975582
BrackTV is a friend of Q's dad that helped him with the Beverly Hillbillies video. I know this because someone in the Quew felt like explaining it.

Proving once again I never arrive at a bad time in by Quew explorations, something quite important happened earlier today.
View attachment 5975593View attachment 5975597View attachment 5975598View attachment 5975600
Imagine being able to say you attended the same high school as Sturgill Simpson, Talcum X and Quinton Reviews.
EDIT: He kept going after I posted.
View attachment 5975613
View attachment 5975615

Impressive. I actually went above and beyond and watched the entire Beverlyhillbilly’s video twice and after the second time, I really do think I could get into a habit of listening to Russ.
I think the moment in both videos where I really decided I liked him is near the end when he stops to talk about the time his dad became mayor of his hometown because he built a water system. It’s a small moment, but you can tell what happened was that Russ made an off script joke and Quinton paused to question if it was true.
Idk, it’s one of those moments that makes you feel like a kid again listening to grandpa’s stories. I like that moment.

I think, while he used a lot of clips of the show, they really worked well to sell someone on it the comedy. I grew up on Hillbilly reruns and even then I still found myself laughing at the clips in the review. Overall a solid show

 

[Q_Anon1001]

the flower gothic shit was lady Emily trying to do that, it's just Emily is that incompetent that ze decided to hitch zir wagon to a bpd schizo.

gay op. Julia threw a monkey wrench into what I believe would have been Emily's eventual cancellation of Quinton.

 

[Debbie Macomber]

I know it's late as Hell, but when Russ Reviews had his wife comment over one of the Petticoat Junction episodes just so he could have a woman be offended at the sexism and constantly point it out, she said "I could write a whole paper on everything wrong with this episode" and that really gave me an insight into why Quinton is the way he is.

Quinton was literally raised by the type of feminist "academic" who looks at a piece of media and thinks it would be at all educational or meaningful to write a whole paper of being shocked and appalled that a show written in the 60s was written in the 60s.