Shoot your shot mate lets see somebody might know something
Okay vague outline errm....
Bumped into a femanon on one of the blue hobby boards when I was part of very short-lived group, quite a while back.
She was a similar age (30+ anons are to find, let alone 30+ femanons), had a soft demeanour, sweet even outside the context of 4chan, an actual femcel, had a fondness for old school anime and figurines (I think she used to trade on /toy/), a kind of geeky loner (she had no IRL friends and I remember she told me that she didn't really have any friends after elementary and that she used to sit in the library printing out Sailor Moon sheets to colour in) and she did art commissions from time to time (she gave out her tumblr page).
We used to talk in the little group we were in, everybody learning about each other. Unfortunately this was the dogshit years of 4chan, so group never got fresh blood, zoomers would always try to drag things down and the group got whittled down quite quickly. Eventually it was just us two, I got her discord, we talked for a bit, she disappeared and then reappeared, apologised, talked for a bit and then disappeared again. I kinda figured that would happen because she had a doe-like quality to her, easily spooked and she said as much, that she'd do disappearing acts on her online friends when "it" got too much, (and IIRC I think she even said that she'd hide under the table when the doorbell rang until her late late teens).
Maybe I'm describing something or someone really basic and maybe they're in surplus over in the states but I have never really met any nerds/geeks (male or female) until I was like in my mid-20s and by that time everyone and their nan was a geek, and I had developed a sour taste for geek shit.
So I have no idea where to find someone like that IRL, and she, despite her skittishness with people, was pretty level-headed and confident when push came to shove.