mecha tofu dog
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2024
I'm happy to see more people embracing the Lou/Steph OTP. They'd hate each other because they are each other.
Lou does claim to have begun hormones, so there ya go!
Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children
- Thread starter Hamplanet Fitness
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021
Ignatius J. Reilly/Myrna Minkoff OTP
Just get Lou's gears turning about how many economy-grade laptops you could buy with an unguarded $10k, and remind Stephanie that a huge, loud
They're both horny asexuals, so that works, and they have similar standards of hygiene. They don't even have religious problems anymore, now that Lou's has converted from Reddit atheist to can't-bother-to-do-research paganism.
But I think the person to sell on this match is Lou's mom, Denise. Make this work and you get a spare room, plus if the furries won't cough up bus fare, KF will surely redline the relocation GoFundMe.
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2020
Catching up, so sorry if someone beat me to this, but it's so good, I had to. I'll make a drawn version in a few days.This is just hilariously pathetic. She's become a true (female) neckbeard.
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2016
Mann gegen Mann is not a pride song, Staph you mong.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2021
You could also paint one really nicely up on an old bed sheet, with some embroidered /fabric collage details, if you were indeed an esteemed ~textile artiste~.
(I desperately need to know how Staphs patches wash, or if they are just intended for attachment to items that are never, ever to be washed.. Shit, I wonder how they stand up to a light shower of rain.)
Just something that has been missed, when she mentioned that shes totally into murderers for the murder, not because she "could change them, which is odd because I like taking care of people"
Bitch who, when?
The one instance we have of her trying that is when she ended up throwing a loaf of bread at her mother after having to pitch in to badly fail at a few days of errands when mother got flu or something to add on top of her preexisting cancer.
And the time she freaked out and told off some suicidal troon for being a MAN calling late at night on the one instance someone regretfully stumbled onto her charitable organisation for help..
Real saint hours.
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2021
It was an honor and a privilege to speak to Raven Kaldera, the author of many my books, and a fellow intersex and transgender practitioner of this path. He both wrote a wonderful essay for my Facebook page, but reinforced my belief that seeking a shamanic healer is necessary.
Well, I jumped the gun and thought that the appointment was today, when it’s not until next week! We live and learn. At least Loki thought it was funny.
The matter grows grave, it would seem. The individual is now attacking another family member, one that is elderly.
I have gotten quite good at journeying to fetch aid and allies in my pursuits, so tomorrow that is what I’ll be doing.
I should also mention that yesterday was the year anniversary of my taking a marriage oath to my beloved Jeffrey. Despite all the hatred and misunderstanding we receive, we’re happy, isn’t that what matters? Before the season changes, I may also make a similar oath to Loki. We’ve built a wonderful little family here, including little Siggy.
Soon comes the New Moon, and with that brings new luck and opportunity! I look forward to receiving the abundance of the Beltane season.
Well, I jumped the gun and thought that the appointment was today, when it’s not until next week! We live and learn. At least Loki thought it was funny.
The matter grows grave, it would seem. The individual is now attacking another family member, one that is elderly.
I have gotten quite good at journeying to fetch aid and allies in my pursuits, so tomorrow that is what I’ll be doing.
I should also mention that yesterday was the year anniversary of my taking a marriage oath to my beloved Jeffrey. Despite all the hatred and misunderstanding we receive, we’re happy, isn’t that what matters? Before the season changes, I may also make a similar oath to Loki. We’ve built a wonderful little family here, including little Siggy.
Soon comes the New Moon, and with that brings new luck and opportunity! I look forward to receiving the abundance of the Beltane season.
I can't wait until this meeting with this
By 'travelling' to find allies does she mean going on an astral walk about in her mind to gather more pop culture deities? Probably.
Staph and Jeff are celebrating their first wedding anniversary! Now she's thinking of marrying
Edit: I don't know if she means that the author is the same shaman who she's paying a visit to, or if they just advised her. Either way, here's the author's website (archive) and this is the post they wrote on Staph's trans org Facebook. I haven't read it because it's fucking long and I zoned out from all the woo.
Edit: I couldn't archive the essay or copy paste it, because Facebook hates anyone without an account. Screencaps are under the spoiler if you want to be bored with woo that sounds like a tranny remake of Wicker Man.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2023
"the author of many my books...He both wrote a wonderful essay for my Facebook page, but reinforced my belief that seeking a shamanic healer is necessary."
Bitch are you drunk or did you just eat too many parking lot weeds
"I have gotten quite good at journeying to fetch aid"
Yes, excellent idea, go get AIDS
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021
Facebook archive isn't showing up for me; can you copy and paste?
This shaman at least has better fashion sense than Stephanie. Not good fashion, but since he's not relying on shapeless t-shirts, you can definitely tell he wants to be a Viking.
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2021
Damn, just checked, you're right. I'll sort it out. In the meantime, there's this:
I wheeze laughed at the leg hair. Why any god would class that as a gift, I don't know. I'm so glad she still gives gross cast offs from her body as offerings. All of that post is worthy of random text.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021
Shaved-off leg hair is literal trash. That's worse than offering the gods a regifted hand lotion from Dollar Tree because you didn't know the gods were coming to your Christmas party until the very last minute.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2021
If the alternative is astral sex with Staph, the gods might be happy with the shitty hand lotion.
- Joined
- May 1, 2021
There's some weird obsession of retarded people that they're actually WORTH something in such a greater, cosmic context, to the point where their trash and dead skin cells are personally regarded as holy relics. Is Freyja going to take your meager offering and turn you into a less gross person? No, because your opinion (conscious or not) is that your grossness is an important part of contributing to whatever higher power you're latching onto this week.
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2021
Wait, hang on... I've just realised something. So she's taking testosterone, which causes body hair to grow. And she's shaving it off.
The hairiness is pretty much the only male trait that the hormones have given her. And she's removing it from her body. So she's hairy all over except for her legs, like she's a reversed Mr Tumnus. Sounds perverse.
Fucking ridiculous.
Anyway.
You will not upset the Bri'ish or Irish by not correctly specifying if the film is UK/Irish/British. Unless you know that it is based in the part of Ireland that isn't part of the UK, then whatever, but I genuinely believe that she thinks that the whole of Ireland is a separate fairyland from the UK.
I don't know who *allegedly* said this, unless she means us, when we commented that she looks nice in this photo. I still believe that this is one of the nicest photos of Staph, she looks pretty and friendly.
In case you ever want to buy her an ice-cream. $7? That's half of her rent.
The hairiness is pretty much the only male trait that the hormones have given her. And she's removing it from her body. So she's hairy all over except for her legs, like she's a reversed Mr Tumnus. Sounds perverse.
Fucking ridiculous.
Anyway.
You will not upset the Bri'ish or Irish by not correctly specifying if the film is UK/Irish/British. Unless you know that it is based in the part of Ireland that isn't part of the UK, then whatever, but I genuinely believe that she thinks that the whole of Ireland is a separate fairyland from the UK.
I don't know who *allegedly* said this, unless she means us, when we commented that she looks nice in this photo. I still believe that this is one of the nicest photos of Staph, she looks pretty and friendly.
In case you ever want to buy her an ice-cream. $7? That's half of her rent.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2017
It’s called Jeni’s Brambleberry Crisp (screengrab from the brand website, where a pint is almost her entire rent).
Deathfat lolcow Tess Holliday used to have pints shipped to her apartment on the semi regular before the modeling gigs and cake Johns dried up or fucked off. Maybe it’s good stuff, never tried. With Staph mentioning it, that’s now two lolcows (one of which that completely fucked up the name while recommending it) to associate it with. Wonder how much of her recent weight gain is just from “gourmet” ice cream, because she implied that it’s a regular purchase (like her Oliopop?).
Fancy Carstairs
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2016
who is she bragging about ice cream to lol is that a reblog comment
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2022
It was an honor and a privilege to receive this original piece of writing from Raven Kaldera. Raven is a Northern Tradition thaumaturgist (someone who works with the spirits/gods of a tradition) who happens to be transgender and intersex. Yarrow considers themselves an acolyte of his and owns several of his books. Enjoy!
Multigender Mayday
Raven Kaldera
Every year, around mid-April, I go shopping for multicolored cotton fabric, a yard of each color, to be cut into strips, hemmed, and turned into ribbons for our big Maypole. I’ve done it for so many years now that the young woman behind the counter in the fabric place sees me coming in mid-April and says, “Maypole ribbon time again, eh?” I also shop for more decorations for the big Maypole wreath, which gets redecorated yearly and rebuilt out of grapevines from my back yard about every six years or so. On a weekend before or after actual Beltane (which always seems to be on a Wednesday or thereabouts), we hold our big Beltane ceremony, inviting anyone who wants to come.
In the early morning, my wife of twenty-eight years, a transwoman, goes out with two of her transwoman friends, and they take the Maypole from the basement wall where it lives all winter and hide it in the woods. Them hiding the pole started out as a joke, but now it’s tradition, something they do proudly. When the Beltaners arrive, four are decked out in colorful tabards and poles with bright banners to call the elements. We all process to the back field, a clearing in my woods the size of a football field which was the selling point for my wife and myself when we first saw our twenty-acre property. There’s a Cretan labyrinth in the middle of the field with shoulder-high boulders set around it at the solar points of the year—solstices, equinoxes, cross-quarters, true and magnetic north and south. The Maypole goes into the middle of that labyrinth, and stays until just before Samhain when we all go out and take it down.
Then we divide into the gender teams. People who identify as women follow my adult daughter to the hole in the middle of the field, where they remove the large rocks and make a number of sacred offerings into it—bread for nourishment, an egg for new beginnings, etc. Those who identify as men go into the woods and look for the pole. Some years they find it quickly, some years it takes them a while and there is a lot of good-natured catcalling from the women—“They don’t seem to have any trouble finding their own poles!”
Everyone else—those who identify as something other than male or female—clusters around the table where I’ve laid the Maypole wreath, and we all put on the loose decorations together. The men come back with the pole and carry it, chanting, three times around the labyrinth. The women chant a counterpoint. The third group stands and hovers with the wreath and the ribbons—the latter take at least three people to keep them off the ground, as they are longer than our fifteen-foot pole. My transman partner of two decades—I am polyamorous and have two primary partners—wears his fancy Beltane harlequin dress and dances around with a comical stuffed penis on a pole. It’s his job to line up the Maypole dancers and show them how to do the slightly complex over-under-over-under which wraps the pole so beautifully.
When the three circles are made, the in-between folks all join hands and make a human chain. One end grabs the hand of a woman, the other a man, and we bring them together. It is a conscious magical act of creating understanding and reconciliation between the two far ends of male and female, as important as the heterosexual breeding couple dressed as the Green Man and the May Queen who have joined the two ends-of-the-spectrum teams, and who will chase each other around the pole after it is wrapped, join in a kiss, and go off to the tent-bower we’ve set up privately in the woods for them to finish enacting the rite together.
We have so many queer and trans and third gender and non-binary people in our group, not to mention at least to intersex people who also fall into some of the above categories as well (and I am one of those) that some years it’s hard to find our Green Man and May Queen. These days, having long ago run through all our straight couples, we start looking to neighboring Pagan groups months in advance. (At least one couple in our Pagan church will point at their eight-year-old son and say gaily to newcomers, “Product of the Maypole!”) People come to our ritual and have various reactions to it. Some are end-of-spectrum genders and used to binary Wicca Beltanes, and are taken aback. Some are non-binary and sometimes accost me later and ask why I don’t take gender and reproduction out of the entire ritual.
But this is the way our Pagan church has been doing Beltane since 1994, and we aren’t stopping now. It’s ingrained now. Children have grown up in our church and, during their teen years, rotated between groups to see where it felt right. We didn’t argue—anyone can be in any group so long as they are willing to go along with the job and honor Nature’s manifestation of that. I think it’s rare that adolescents get a chance to ritually try out different points on the gender spectrum as part of their religious upbringing, and I’m proud that we’ve been able to give generations of teens that gift.
After the Maypole is danced and bound, and the rest of the ritual goes by, we get the bonfire ready for our Pagan church choir to sing around it, and for the evening fire ritual. Queers I know hear how we organize our Beltane, and they say, “You’re lucky.” No. It has nothing to do with luck. My wife and I built this group, from the beginning. We started out holding rituals when there were only three or four people coming. Sometimes no one came but us. We held them anyway. Now, decades later, what we do has become tradition. It’s not new, not here. It’s how things are, how they should be. Everyone would be upset if we changed the Maypole ritual, because of course it should be that way. Isn’t this about the fertility of Nature, and how Nature comes in such diversity?
It’s not that hard. You just have to stick it out, year after year, and keep doing it, as people come and go. You just have to become a fixture, a standing stone in the earth which Pagans depend upon to be there, and who—of course—knows the right way to do things, and that the right way is one of diversity. You’re not doing it this way because you are queer or trans or intersex; you’re doing it because it describes the world. That’s what you say, and eventually a bunch of people will absorb it—even the straight ones. Then, in thirty years, someone who has just heard about these standing stones will tell you how lucky you are that such things mysteriously appear every year. That’s the nature of magic.
Multigender Mayday
Raven Kaldera
Every year, around mid-April, I go shopping for multicolored cotton fabric, a yard of each color, to be cut into strips, hemmed, and turned into ribbons for our big Maypole. I’ve done it for so many years now that the young woman behind the counter in the fabric place sees me coming in mid-April and says, “Maypole ribbon time again, eh?” I also shop for more decorations for the big Maypole wreath, which gets redecorated yearly and rebuilt out of grapevines from my back yard about every six years or so. On a weekend before or after actual Beltane (which always seems to be on a Wednesday or thereabouts), we hold our big Beltane ceremony, inviting anyone who wants to come.
In the early morning, my wife of twenty-eight years, a transwoman, goes out with two of her transwoman friends, and they take the Maypole from the basement wall where it lives all winter and hide it in the woods. Them hiding the pole started out as a joke, but now it’s tradition, something they do proudly. When the Beltaners arrive, four are decked out in colorful tabards and poles with bright banners to call the elements. We all process to the back field, a clearing in my woods the size of a football field which was the selling point for my wife and myself when we first saw our twenty-acre property. There’s a Cretan labyrinth in the middle of the field with shoulder-high boulders set around it at the solar points of the year—solstices, equinoxes, cross-quarters, true and magnetic north and south. The Maypole goes into the middle of that labyrinth, and stays until just before Samhain when we all go out and take it down.
Then we divide into the gender teams. People who identify as women follow my adult daughter to the hole in the middle of the field, where they remove the large rocks and make a number of sacred offerings into it—bread for nourishment, an egg for new beginnings, etc. Those who identify as men go into the woods and look for the pole. Some years they find it quickly, some years it takes them a while and there is a lot of good-natured catcalling from the women—“They don’t seem to have any trouble finding their own poles!”
Everyone else—those who identify as something other than male or female—clusters around the table where I’ve laid the Maypole wreath, and we all put on the loose decorations together. The men come back with the pole and carry it, chanting, three times around the labyrinth. The women chant a counterpoint. The third group stands and hovers with the wreath and the ribbons—the latter take at least three people to keep them off the ground, as they are longer than our fifteen-foot pole. My transman partner of two decades—I am polyamorous and have two primary partners—wears his fancy Beltane harlequin dress and dances around with a comical stuffed penis on a pole. It’s his job to line up the Maypole dancers and show them how to do the slightly complex over-under-over-under which wraps the pole so beautifully.
When the three circles are made, the in-between folks all join hands and make a human chain. One end grabs the hand of a woman, the other a man, and we bring them together. It is a conscious magical act of creating understanding and reconciliation between the two far ends of male and female, as important as the heterosexual breeding couple dressed as the Green Man and the May Queen who have joined the two ends-of-the-spectrum teams, and who will chase each other around the pole after it is wrapped, join in a kiss, and go off to the tent-bower we’ve set up privately in the woods for them to finish enacting the rite together.
We have so many queer and trans and third gender and non-binary people in our group, not to mention at least to intersex people who also fall into some of the above categories as well (and I am one of those) that some years it’s hard to find our Green Man and May Queen. These days, having long ago run through all our straight couples, we start looking to neighboring Pagan groups months in advance. (At least one couple in our Pagan church will point at their eight-year-old son and say gaily to newcomers, “Product of the Maypole!”) People come to our ritual and have various reactions to it. Some are end-of-spectrum genders and used to binary Wicca Beltanes, and are taken aback. Some are non-binary and sometimes accost me later and ask why I don’t take gender and reproduction out of the entire ritual.
But this is the way our Pagan church has been doing Beltane since 1994, and we aren’t stopping now. It’s ingrained now. Children have grown up in our church and, during their teen years, rotated between groups to see where it felt right. We didn’t argue—anyone can be in any group so long as they are willing to go along with the job and honor Nature’s manifestation of that. I think it’s rare that adolescents get a chance to ritually try out different points on the gender spectrum as part of their religious upbringing, and I’m proud that we’ve been able to give generations of teens that gift.
After the Maypole is danced and bound, and the rest of the ritual goes by, we get the bonfire ready for our Pagan church choir to sing around it, and for the evening fire ritual. Queers I know hear how we organize our Beltane, and they say, “You’re lucky.” No. It has nothing to do with luck. My wife and I built this group, from the beginning. We started out holding rituals when there were only three or four people coming. Sometimes no one came but us. We held them anyway. Now, decades later, what we do has become tradition. It’s not new, not here. It’s how things are, how they should be. Everyone would be upset if we changed the Maypole ritual, because of course it should be that way. Isn’t this about the fertility of Nature, and how Nature comes in such diversity?
It’s not that hard. You just have to stick it out, year after year, and keep doing it, as people come and go. You just have to become a fixture, a standing stone in the earth which Pagans depend upon to be there, and who—of course—knows the right way to do things, and that the right way is one of diversity. You’re not doing it this way because you are queer or trans or intersex; you’re doing it because it describes the world. That’s what you say, and eventually a bunch of people will absorb it—even the straight ones. Then, in thirty years, someone who has just heard about these standing stones will tell you how lucky you are that such things mysteriously appear every year. That’s the nature of magic.
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2020
Yes, and as usual she's missing the point of the post.
Anyway my favorite from the pic is 9, pistachio.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2023
Mine is also pistachio (even when it's not a prescribed option - pistachio is the GOAT, please get the guillotine). Anyone who picks cookies and cream is the most basic of bitches. (Sry cookies and cream fans.)
Also this Raven Kaldera person might warrant a thread...
Also this Raven Kaldera person might warrant a thread...
Fancy Carstairs
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2016
this is amazing, her response compared to the others is hilarious
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021
Oh no, now I'm picturing Stephanie making Loki one of those grade-school "coupon booklets" with her terrible penmanship and scissor skills, except the coupons are for toenail clippings and motorboating hairy breasts.
![t-tc-1645453065-mothers-day-coupons-craft-diy-kindness-coupons-gift-2_ver_2[1].png](http://uploads.kiwifarms.st/data/attachments/5957/5957331-629b32c06920e2ba6f4f53ff8c6e980e.jpg?hash=YpsywGkg4r "t-tc-1645453065-mothers-day-coupons-craft-diy-kindness-coupons-gift-2_ver_2[1].png")
This group of pagans sounds kind of insufferable, but at least they have a work ethic. They're going outdoors and working as a group to put on fun little parties! With snacks! And he even wrote about how they network with other pagans to find a new May Queen and Green Man each year.
I'll admit that an invitation to that last part sounds a lot like "hey do you wanna go hang out with this guy I know's cult and get ritually murdered," so it speaks to their surprising un-flakiness that they're having no problem getting guests.
Nice hustle, fake intersex weirdo. I mean it.