Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Andoxico]

This man doesn't shut up and will argue you for 10 pages over autistic bs . You should have followed my lead son .

Apparently, I try giving people the benefit of the doubt

 

[doodoocaca]

@doodoocaca do you have any hobbies

Yeah, this is one of them. What are yours?

 

[Lurker]

@doodoocaca do you have any hobbies

um dontcha know, he 'helps children', although not professionally

as you can see, he's helping many children by harassing women here

 

[Shidoen]

Yeah, this is one of them.

 

[doodoocaca]

1) Women are not dogs and there's no "training" or some quick answer to this. Some people will never learn how to communicate with care. That said, you should do exactly what you said: "Hey, X, I would like to improve my communication and I would like for us to work on 'discussing feelings in way that is not an attack, but instead seeks to actually find some way to fix a problem or deal with the emotion.'" If she refuses this, then there is nothing you can do.

I never meant to insinuate anyone was. What's a better verb for "encourage people to speak more usefully"? I am trying to use neutral language.

2) I don't understand this question really. In my experience women are far more likely to try to understand their man's emotions than vice versa. I also do not know what regulation you're referring to. You will need to elaborate.

So there's a big "depends" there, you are right - it obviously depends on the individual woman. And, indeed, I don't have problems with most women, so there's no reason to ask for advice with them in the first place, which is why they are not mentioned. But for a small subset, I have absolutely seen that their way of voicing things is to attack.

As far as what I meant by regulate, I meant the pressure to "hide things I don't want to see from me."

If you're getting at "find better women" well yeah? But you can't always do that, so in those situations, I wondered how to make the best of the situation.

You say you don't like attacks and then in the same breath say you'd prefer a confrontational Latin woman. I don't understand.

If I had to deal with attacks at all overt > covert, but I'd prefer none of it at all.

 

[pork and beans]

are you seriously a latino omfg maricon alert

 

[Null]

What are yours?

...

 

[WelperHelper99]

Yeah, this is one of them. What are yours?

Grammatically this is incomplete. You need a sentence before this stating what you like, THEN say what you said.

 

[Justa Grata Honoria]

...

I think its time for another mass debates threads debate user doodoocaca if women are trainable as dogs or optional western women are evil for being too polite while telling me off feat doodoocaca

 

[Not a bee]

This is just sad

 

[WelperHelper99]

I never meant to insinuate anyone was. What's a better verb for "encourage people to speak more usefully"? I am trying to use neutral language.

Most autistic thing I've ever read. You can't really regulate others speech. Maybe look at your own.

So there's a big "depends" there, you are right - it obviously depends on the individual woman. And, indeed, I don't have problems with most women, so there's no reason to ask for advice with them in the first place, which is why they are not mentioned. But for a small subset, I have absolutely seen that their way of voicing things is to attack.

As far as what I meant by regulate, I meant the pressure to "hide things I don't want to see from me."

If you're getting at "find better women" well yeah? But you can't always do that, so in those situations, I wondered how to make the best of the situation.

Bro you clearly are mad at most women because they yell at you for being a dipshit. Dude, just, dude.

I had to deal with attacks at all overt > covert, but I'd prefer none of it at all.

Absolute victim mentality.

 

[Taxidermied Rat]

If you're getting at "find better women" well yeah? But you can't always do that, so in those situations, I wondered how to make the best of the situation.

• Is this lady your friend or lover? If so, why not just break up?
• Is this some one at work? If so, why would you ever talk about emotions at work.
• Is this lady a family member? If so, set some boundaries and learn how to hold back/avoid emotional topics. It sucks that you can't get emotionally close with this person, but sometimes that just how life is. Most likely you can't fix them.
• Are you prepping for the potential of running into a woman like this? If so, that's autistic.

I can't think of any other circumstances where you would be around someone like that, and you can't just choose to leave. But you can always leave. You are never forced to interact with any one except maybe at work, but again don't talk about emotions at work.

 

[Slippin Kimmy]

BDD fag here. How to cope with being female? I am not a troon but I can't accept the reality that men are stronger than woman and no matter how hard I work in the gym I will never have muscle as impressive as males. I have already ruined my life and self destruct in multiple aspect of my life due to a mixture of bdd, insecurity, and my rejection of reality. I'm considering taking either roids or test to develop more muscles. I know it's not logical but I really want to live a short life as the person I want to see in the mirror over a long life as current me.

Relevant info is that I'm not the approval seeking kind of bdd, but i have a image that i wanted to be and that image is unattainable because no matter how hard I work my muscle and skeletal structure will not morph to resemble a male bodybuilder's. I unironically tears up whenever I'm reminded of reality, my self esteem is good but my body image is in the shitter.

You don't need roids, you need mental help. That shit only wrecks your body. Like, get off the Internet.

 

[doodoocaca]

Is this lady your friend or lover? If so, why not just break up?

Many people I've been with will do this from time to time but not as a rule. Not the ones I stuck with anyway

Is this some one at work? If so, why would you ever talk about emotions at work.

I work with guys, it's pretty easy going, we mostly complain about working at work.

Is this lady a family member? If so, set some boundaries and learn how to hold back/avoid emotional topics. It sucks that you can't get emotionally close with this person, but sometimes that just how life is. Most likely you can't fix them.

Oh I've already NC'd people, but good to point out to the thread

Are you prepping for the potential of running into a woman like this? If so, that's autistic.

More like "if this happens under any circumstance why not know how to defuse attacking-based-expressions and translate that into useful expressiveness" but away I Guess.

I can't think of any other circumstances where you would be around someone like that, and you can't just choose to leave. But you can always leave. You are never forced to interact with any one except maybe at work, but again don't talk about emotions at work.

Again, it's absolutely appropriate to say that people who do this as a rule should be avoided, and I've already done that. The thing is, everyone does this now and then. I'd rather get ahead of it and try to modify the behavior than, well, just put up with it. I'm sure other people have been in similar situations at least sometimes.

 

[(((Obar Lazcano Kamz)))]

Woman moment

 

[The Ugly One]

BDD fag here. How to cope with being female? I am not a troon but I can't accept the reality that men are stronger than woman and no matter how hard I work in the gym I will never have muscle as impressive as males. I have already ruined my life and self destruct in multiple aspect of my life due to a mixture of bdd, insecurity, and my rejection of reality. I'm considering taking either roids or test to develop more muscles. I know it's not logical but I really want to live a short life as the person I want to see in the mirror over a long life as current me.

Relevant info is that I'm not the approval seeking kind of bdd, but i have a image that i wanted to be and that image is unattainable because no matter how hard I work my muscle and skeletal structure will not morph to resemble a male bodybuilder's. I unironically tears up whenever I'm reminded of reality, my self esteem is good but my body image is in the shitter.

Here's what you do. Take everything you say like this and imagine a man saying it, with the roles switched:

BDD fag here. How to cope with being male? I am not a troon but I can't accept the reality that women are prettier than men and no matter how hard I work in the gym I will never have curves as sexy as females. I have already ruined my life and self destruct in multiple aspect of my life due to a mixture of bdd, insecurity, and my rejection of reality. I'm considering getting either implants or taking estrogen to develop breasts and long, silky hair. I know it's not logical but I really want to live a short life as the person I want to see in the mirror over a long life as current me.

Relevant info is that I'm not the approval seeking kind of bdd, but i have a image that i wanted to be and that image is unattainable because no matter how hard I work my muscle and skeletal structure will not morph to resemble a female model's. I unironically tears up whenever I'm reminded of reality, my self esteem is good but my body image is in the shitter.

Hopefully, that sounds gross and retarded to you, and will help inspire you to stop being a gross retard. I mean, you're mentally ill, so probably not, but keep reminding yourself that you're crazy, and ruining your body in pursuit of your crazy nonsense will just ruin your life.

 

[Pendulous Dong]

How much moisturizer should I use for my face? I usually just get a thingy the size of a nickel and put that all over my face, but somehow I feel like it's not enough. Are there any side effects from using too much moisturizer?

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

and they think it's hilarious.

Why is it hilarious?

Plus, wife or not wife (since that example is perhaps a bit extreme), i think most if not all women wish to be feel in control of their life. And it would probably be very hard to feel in control if you lack the independence to rely on yourself.

Can't imagine willingly making oneself completely unable to function in the world.

train them

This is where you went wrong.

But if you and a mate are poor at productive discussion/argument, get help from a therapist. Because a neutral third party suggesting different ways to phrase or approach things removes the emotion from things. What comes across (or is) controlling or annoying by one half of a pair is constructive info by a neutral. And with a neutral involved, the "totally right" half of the pair can also learn/hear about their own unproductive tendencies.

I'd rather get ahead of it and try to modify the behavior than, well, just put up with it. I'm sure other people have been in similar situations at least sometimes.

See above. But also: it is not your (anyone's) job to try to "modify the behavior." If you mean, "try to improve our communication," then see above. But if your starting point is, "[my partners/ associates] are always batshit," then either you have a one-sided perspective that can't admit fault, or you're picking/winding up with the wrong people, in which case, introspection is your friend.

How much moisturizer should I use for my face? I usually just get a thingy the size of a nickel and put that all over my face, but somehow I feel like it's not enough. Are there any side effects from using too much moisturizer?

Depends on product. But if you're not breaking out, then there are no side effects other than greasiness/ pilling/ waste.

 

[Taxidermied Rat]

The thing is, everyone does this now and then. I'd rather get ahead of it and try to modify the behavior than, well, just put up with it.

Well it seems like you're already doing everything that you can. Doing your best to avoid women who do this habitually. To some degree being in a relationship is knowing when to put up with someone's bad mood so you can adress and talk to them about it later.

You shouldn't be abused, but everyone has a bad day every now and then.

In fact I would argue that you can't get ahead of it, but rather that you have to show emotionally stability in the moment if you want to break someone's emotional habits(though for any decent person having a conversation before hand could also help).

Spoiler: Personal Example Which Demonstrates My Point

For example I have a family member, let's call him M, in his life whenever he would get frustrated it would be met with anger which would naturally make him angry in tern. So he built up a habit that when he gets frustrated, he is already much more prone to anger.

When interacting with him when he is upset I know that he is going to be angry, regardless of what I do. So I just remain calm. Don't take the biting words personally. After it's over he will come and apologize for his attitude, and I forgive him. Over time, after some years of dealing with him like this, when he gets frustrated his anger is no longer as strong as it once was. He is much more likely to remain calm, even while frustrated.

M is not really emotionally aware, so I can't just talk to him about the anger/frustration before hand since he doesn't even acknowledge it as a problem. However by remaining emotionally stoic I am able to help break his cycle of associating frustration and anger. As contrast my husband is emotionally aware so I can have conversations with him about why he gets angry so I don't have to only be stoic with him. I can also discuss the issue after it happens.

More like "if this happens under any circumstance why not know how to defuse attacking-based-expressions and translate that into useful expressiveness" but away I Guess.

The reason I call it autistic is because it appears as if you are assuming that if you develop a certain skill you'll be able to solve other people's emotional problems. If someone is resorting to emotional attacks it can happen for a variety of reasons which all have different ways for how you should approach it. For example they could be doing it for malicious reasons vs habitual reasons. Those two reasons are very different. It's impossible to plan for all the potential possibilities of why someone acts this way.

So you can't just plan to fix a girlfriend that you don't even have yet. Unless you do have a girlfriend/wife then focus on her and what her individual issues are.

 

[Susanna]

How much moisturizer should I use for my face? I usually just get a thingy the size of a nickel and put that all over my face, but somehow I feel like it's not enough. Are there any side effects from using too much moisturizer?

A rule of thumb is that you can do strings along your index and middle fingers. It's basically like sunscreen.