Diseased Sanctioned Suicide - "Kill yourself" but unironically with sodium nitrite. Higher death count than the Farms. Targeted by parents, legislators, and journalists looking to alter Section 230.

Gog & Magog said:
Imagine your family walking into your room, looking at the books you used to read, the bed you used to sleep in, remembering the smile that used to brighten up their days. A book you never finished there, and over here a picture you never framed, and there inside their chests a heart which won't ever heal.
Click to expand...
Somehow, I don't think you read my post sir...
 
  • Feels
  • Agree
  • Winner
Reactions: Harlow, byuuWasTaken, p0e and 7 others
Gog & Magog said:
Sorry, it was long and I didn't want to read it all... :)
Click to expand...
b29eb729c12cddb23ed0111e1647d850.jpg
 
  • Like
Reactions: byuuWasTaken, Gog & Magog, p0e and 1 other person
I'm feeling better every day now. It was the combination of my depression + an asylum stay + losing my latest cat that pushed me to that point again. But I'm no longer eyeing the tools of self-destruction.

One more aside and one that isn't horrifyingly TMI for once: I found a lot of kinship with Antonin Artaud (Antonin is French for Anthony) and he was a schizo who spent 12 years in an asylum and subjected to repeated electric shock therapy. Plus his suicide attempts as well. He lucked out by having a psychologist who used art as a means to rebuild his mind. It's hard to summarize him because even his peers referred to him as "The Holy Madman" but he was not your typical artsy fartsy fag. He despised the art circles, the critics, and the nepotism with artists building glorified clubhouses to jerk each other off. He liked to refer to those type of people as "crab lice."

One of my favorite quotes of his is: "The whole literary tribe is a tribe of rubbish mongers. Especially today."

He saw his art as a means to launch a holy war against society and destroy and rebuild it. He was a poet, writer, playwright, actor, philosopher (coining the phrase "A body without organs") and visual artist. A guy who was a big proponent for art terrorism.

I'd just like to reference one of my favorite pieces of his, I Hate and Renounce as a Coward:


The man even had a prominent role in The Passion of Joan Of Arc (1929) unequivocally considered one of the greatest films ever made. Not many people can say that. I'm sure even a background extra in something like the Godfather would brag about that until they day they die and list that trivia on their tombstone.

Artaud's influence is still felt to this day. Jim Morrison was a fan of his. He unfortunately inspired Deleuze and Guattari's A Thousand Plateau's which is regarded as a key Leftist philosophical text of current year. It was mostly bullshit that Artaud would shit on (He would threaten to literally shit on Leftist writings) as you can imagine but I liked their writing trying to decipher his ideas on a Body Without Organs. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_without_organs

Plus his work is rife in abstract art, movies, and theater. He even inspired a popular mod for Hearts of Iron IV of all things: https://red-flood.fandom.com/wiki/Antonin_Artaud

Fulci was also inspired by him. You can see that a lot in The Beyond, in terms of it being not about the plot or logic, but about the imagery:


It amuses me how gorehounds like me got unintentionally exposed to the ideas of abstract theater.

Edit: my ultimate point is that art therapy holds untold potential to help.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Feels
Reactions: Step Away From The Melon, LemonKingLover, Chandelier and 16 others
BrunoMattei said:
It amuses me how gorehounds like me got unintentionally exposed to the ideas of abstract theater.
Click to expand...
I got turned on to most of my favorite old school literature and movies by just looking up who influenced the things I already liked. Dave Sim's Cerebus of all things led me down a rabbit hole where his Lord Julius character interested me when I noticed it was basically Groucho Marx and then I started watching Marx Brothers movies. And Melmoth was a thinly-veiled caricature of Oscar Wilde, who I was also aware of but had never read. And from there to Huysmans, the book referenced in The Picture of Dorian Gray. And then diagonally from there into Baudelaire, Verlaine, Rimbaud, Villiers de l'Isle-Adam, and further back in time to François Villon, and then forward in time to people like Louis-Ferdinand Celine, Sartre, Jean Genet, Foucault (yes I know), Camus, and then branching out into French movies too.

Somehow I'd read Sade when I was like 12 or so, on the steps of a church next to the Catholic school I was going to. It was really a random pick off the shelves. I'd often just go into a library and wander around and pick up a dozen or so books just based on the title or whether the spine of the cover looked interesting.

But back to the influence thing, I didn't know that at the time but at one point when I was just sort of doing a personal inventory of why I'd read or watched what I had, I realized a shocking amount of it went back to a comic book, and just thinking "what made him write this" and going to see, then doing the same for what I'd then read.
 
  • Informative
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: Step Away From The Melon, Digital Thunder, byuuWasTaken and 6 others
AnOminous said:
I got turned on to most of my favorite old school literature and movies by just looking up who influenced the things I already liked. Dave Sim's Cerebus of all things led me down a rabbit hole where his Lord Julius character interested me when I noticed it was basically Groucho Marx and then I started watching Marx Brothers movies. And Melmoth was a thinly-veiled caricature of Oscar Wilde, who I was also aware of but had never read. And from there to Huysmans, the book referenced in The Picture of Dorian Gray. And then diagonally from there into Baudelaire, Verlaine, Rimbaud, Villiers de l'Isle-Adam, and further back in time to François Villon, and then forward in time to people like Louis-Ferdinand Celine, Sartre, Jean Genet, Foucault (yes I know), Camus, and then branching out into French movies too. Somehow I'd read Sade when I was like 12 or so, on the steps of a church next to the Catholic school I was going to. It was really a random pick off the shelves. I'd often just go into a library and wander around and pick up a dozen or so books just based on the title or whether the spine of the cover looked interesting. But back to the influence thing, I didn't know that at the time but at one point when I was just sort of doing a personal inventory of why I'd read or watched what I had, I realized a shocking amount of it went back to a comic book, and just thinking "what made him write this" and going to see, then doing the same for what I'd then read.
Click to expand...
Funny, I had essentially the same experience as you except I was 13, it was Fulci's The Beyond (because of course) and that lead to Artaud, Burroughs, J.G Ballard, Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, and etc.

Edit: and yeah, I was that kid looking for the fucked up shit in the libraries. I could never find Sade where I lived but I was blown away when I found a copy of Lautreamont's Maldoror at a Borders.
 
Last edited:
  • Informative
Reactions: byuuWasTaken, Incel Prude, AnOminous and 1 other person
@BrunoMattei Jesus Christ man, I didn't know you were going through this. I don't know what to say other than I'm happy you survived. You're one of my best friends. I've never met someone with such an incredible knowledge of cinema and horror, and all the weird fun shit. Hell, you've kept Movie Night alive these past few years. Your life has created a community for a bunch of lonely spergs to gather together, watch movies, laugh together, and not be lonely. For some people out in that lonely, shitty, dark world, you created a little bit of light. I don't care if this shallow or sappy or whatever, please know that I care about you. People care about you.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
  • Autistic
Reactions: BoJack Horseman, Lady Round Buns, ExsanguinateHorizon and 16 others
Randall Fragg said:
@BrunoMattei Jesus Christ man, I didn't know you were going through this. I don't know what to say other than I'm happy you survived. You're one of my best friends. I've never met someone with such an incredible knowledge of cinema and horror, and all the weird fun shit. Hell, you've kept Movie Night alive these past few years. Your life has created a community for a bunch of lonely spergs to gather together, watch movies, laugh together, and not be lonely. For some people out in that lonely, shitty, dark world, you created a little bit of light. I don't care if this shallow or sappy or whatever, please know that I care about you. People care about you.
Click to expand...
Damn, thank you man. I am doing 100% better. The depression will always be there in some way but the thoughts of suicide are buried now. Soon, I hope to pour cement over those thoughts.
 
  • Feels
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: Axiom., ExsanguinateHorizon, Syntaxion and 10 others
BrunoMattei said:
Damn, thank you man. I am doing 100% better. The depression will always be there in some way but the thoughts of suicide are buried now. Soon, I hope to pour cement over those thoughts.
Click to expand...
Dopamine reset helps, limiting internet usage, eating healthier food, hell just going outside for a walk and/or reading a book, etc.
Our brains aren't meant for the 24/7 dopamine rush so that leads to people's receptors constantly being short circuited.
 
  • Like
Reactions: suspended animation
BrunoMattei said:
I think what really pisses me off about depression is that so many can't understand it. Normies REALLY can't understand it. You're met with this kind of response all the time "Why are you sad? Be hopeful for a blue sky! Watch the latest movie! Drive a car! Dance and sing!" They offer up meaningless and time-wasting activities because that's what they're comfortable with. A normie isn't just going to watch Eraserhead out of the blue and try to experience something outside their comfort zone.

I also despise that depression is used an easy excuse to garner sympathy and manipulate as we've seen endlessly by lolcows and social media influencer robots. You can't really be depressed if you have piles of money to act as a safety net. I refuse to believe otherwise. Those who claim depression should be punished by having their nuts cut off and cunts sewn to a close and that surgery should be performed by actual depressed people as a way to vent their frustration.

But then there's others, so-called professionals, who think it's a chemical imbalance that can be cured with a pill. Tell me Mr. Therapist, how the fuck does a pill suddenly make me feel better after decades of pain? You may as well apply band-aids to a shotgun blast. I think the only possible "cure" for depression in any kind of meaningful medical context is to hope technology evolves into some Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind shit where you can delete memories. But there's endless dystopian possibilities there: what if the medical establishment decides (much like relying on prescriptions) that the best cure is inject fake happy memories? The whole thing would make the practice of lobotomies seem like childish games during recess.
Click to expand...

Man, I was gonna do some funny comment about the forum itself until I stumbled upon this. First time this site's ever hit me as hard as it could. Yet honestly, you put the reality of such disorder into words I don't think anyone else could.

If you're struggling, I really hope you can make it man.
John R. Brown M.D. said:
@BrunoMattei Jesus Christ man, I didn't know you were going through this. I don't know what to say other than LMAO make the world a better place and kill yourself faggot LMAO.
Click to expand...
1712265847143.png

Go back to reddit you newfaggot nigger. Or, do what you suggested him to do and off yourself violently. Make sure to record it so you can post it in SS though.
 
  • Feels
  • Agree
  • Mad at the Internet
Reactions: Step Away From The Melon, Toolbox, N Space and 7 others
BrunoMattei said:
Damn, thank you man. I am doing 100% better. The depression will always be there in some way but the thoughts of suicide are buried now. Soon, I hope to pour cement over those thoughts.
Click to expand...

Well, Kill or Cure!

How to approach this, somewhat sensitive subject?

There is no easy way. You just have to dive right in!

My mother-in-law's so fat!





I don't know what more to say. Apart from if you don't find this the funniest thing on earth, then fucking kill yourself! *

* We can talk about that shit later, but there's more serious things to be getting on with for now.


Bernard Manning is a racist's racist! Even if you weren't racist before you would be after, especially if you tried to get a fucking taxi in Bradford at 3 am in t'morning.

Fucking pakis, niggers, spics and jews. And that's just his direct family.

Like Lenny Bruce's famous "are there any niggers in the audience tonight" sketch/kitsch



Well, you get it, probably better than anyone.


This thread has been a fucking revelation for me. The people replying to you, in the way they have, have laid themselves more bare than you ever could have. It's actually quite fucking touching.

* Suicide isn't painless. However, for anyone who has ever stood on that proverbial chair and looked death in the eye, then Nietzsche's quote of: When you look into the abyss the abyss looks in to you, bodes well.

Then, you ever so carefully, get the fuck off that chair, ever so even more carefully...

You poor, pitiful bastard!

Poor, poor, pitiful me!




You really could not have found a more beautiful well of deep-hearted and brave-hearted souls, to slowly save yourself, if that is what you wish, and if it isn't...

You have found the best of humanity here. It really doesn't get better than this.

It is down to your discretion of course to work out who are the demons and who are the angels, but I think you got a pretty good handle on all that shit already.

Don't do anything stupid, and more importantly, don't do anything brave.

Stick around kidda.

What you put in, you'll get back.

And you got a lot to put in, so I guarantee you'll get a lot back.

If you can 'hang' around long enough!

Ho ho ho.


But fucking SN, mate, get a fucking grip.

Stick around a while. Educate some of these fucking savages.

And if you still feel so strongly about it in 6 months time, we'lll take you down to the bog and drown you in a bucket of piss and shit!

How does that sound?

I mean, it's an incentive, right?

LOL, don't be a faggot.

Kick against the pricks. You got nothing to lose.

This world needs you more than you need this world, and that is the sad truth.


Btw, you aren't that speshul and the only one to feel this way, to have had this ever so 'deep' experience.

What about the Romanian orphans?

But never mind all that, you don't need to buggered seven different ways sideways to feel sorry for yourself!

You just need to have met my mother-in-law!

Who's so fucking fat...

But before you start laughing, you should remember this is illegal now. You can be locked up for not just posting this shit, but laughing at it - which should of course, make you laugh even harder. My favorite -


This is the worst we have to offer - it doesn't get better.

It really doesn't.

Enjoy!
 
  • Semper Fidelis
  • Feels
Reactions: byuuWasTaken, Figger Nucker and BrunoMattei
BrunoMattei said:
4th attempt: Sodium Nitrite. I guess you could say that I fell for the hype? I just wanted a peaceful and quick death to put an end to all of the pain. I just wanted the pain to stop. I took an insane amount of it. About 2 liters of water with several scoops of the shit. I triple and quadruple checked to ensure that I had the right stuff. So I poured in easily 3-4 times the amount it supposedly takes to kill you. I took an anti-emetic too but it was OTC. I took that huge amount of it because I wanted to ensure that I just fucking die and the logic is "How could I possibly take too much poison to kill myself?' I vomited it up but my body absorbed most of it. And my guts felt like they were about to split open and I was projectile vomiting bile for 2 days in ER. Then I was taken to a BSU staffed by Nigerians and I saw some of the most horrifying shit you could imagine in that asylum. Surrounded by psychos, schizophrenics and elderly flinging shit and piss and vomit everywhere as the staff ignored it or were too lazy to do anything. It was EXACTLY like in Titicut Follies:
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing your experience, so the SN hype is bullshit, who would've thunk

I'm gonna go for heroin overdose then when the day™ comes, the main problem is that I've heard you may pass out before you can inject the full dose
 
  • Feels
  • Informative
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: byuuWasTaken, ._., suspended animation and 4 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back