Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[Coo Coo Bird]

It is hard to fathom why Mallory didn't just decide to be a butch woman. No public declaration or hormones needed, just dress and cut your hair however you want.

But she's not butch in the slightest. It's easier for her to be a man and act the same way she always has and "defy gender stereotypes" than to force herself to get more masculine interests. The girly-girl to pooner pipeline is real:

Standing up for her right to be traditionally feminine would have been more manly, funnily enough.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

But she's not butch in the slightest. It's easier for her to be a man and act the same way she always has and "defy gender stereotypes" than to force herself to get more masculine interests. The girly-girl to pooner pipeline is real:
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Standing up for her right to be traditionally feminine would have been more manly, funnily enough.

No, she’s not, but she definitely cut her hair and adopted the late 90’s cool teen guy or soft butch style once she announced she was trans. I wasn’t sure why she couldn’t just do that without declaring herself male, but you’re probably right “destroying the gender binary by being a femme male” or something. A generation of women role playing soy boys and gay guys, because butch isn’t currently as cool. Go figure. 2010 soft butch lesbian models were all the rage, nobody would have dreamed of asking if they were really just men trapped in the wrong body.

The second Reddit posts sounds more like selling pyramid scheme membership than changing gender identities. The first Reddit poster would definitely join one.

 

[Bookwork]

1 - "If I feel I'm a failure as a woman, it must mean I'm a man."

2 - "Chilly member of the Intelligentsia will turn his hot kink on me if he can imagine boinking a boy."

And Lilly makes 3.

 

[Trianon]

Mallory's skin and over all physical presentation make me think she stopped taking T quite awhile ago

I think she did stop for a while and was even going by he/they briefly.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

I find it strange that Mal has never really bothered to pretend to be a man. She changed her appearance, but surely the whole point of troonism is that the 'gender' manifests in the inner self, not the outer. But she just went right along being an agony aunt (very female coded), if anything she took on the persona of a young, naïve, woke college student (also pretty female coded). Then she wrote a book about women in a women's hotel and now is writing about babies. Does she have one single solitary masculine hobby?

I don't think this is strange, the more you read troons and poons the less they are anything like the gender they're adopting and more they're like stereotypes of the gender they're fleeing.

The outer appearance is the entire thing. And my theory is that it's because they don't want to change themselves but they want to change how people treat them, they think that changing their appearance especially in superficial fashion ways will do this because other people are not people they are outputs from your inputs. And the inputs are all simplistic "identity" things like "woman" or "fat" or whatever.

The reason we chew this over so much is that for all that Mallory’s writing about being trans it’s generic, impersonal, superficial and textbook. She’s regurgitating the same trans talking points and dogma as everyone else. I find the constant reminders of how “this is my personal trans experience that doesn’t represent other trans people,” right before writing cliched sentences that are repeated by every trans writer, comical. The correct tip toeing to adhere to dogma and not offend is comfortable for Mallory, she’s just in a new belief system and social world.

When I first started reading about Mal’s transition I took an interest in her thinking and reasoning behind it. She was unique in the fact she wasn’t under 20, nor did she have a history of being butch lesbian. These two groups seem be to the two demos most pooners come from. A thirty year old femme presenting, girly type feminist woman declaring they were male was unique. (The only other pooner demo is the unhappy woman, married to a man, who just had a baby. They the only other demographic significant enough for me to have noted, but they are much much smaller than the other two.)

I thought she might offer some interest insight and depth that seems so lacking among pooners, since she’s older and a writer. Nope. She offers the same tired one-size fits all word buffet with peppered with the “this totally doesn’t represent all trans people” disclaimers. It’s very similar to how new religious converts all sound very similar when writing about their new faith, because they are all studying from the same literature.

I think trans writing has to be this way, and much "leftist" writing, because the entire assumption is that individuality is suspect. The "community" is what matters and what everything must be subservient to. And I think trans writing especially has to lean into this because the underlying reason for the transition is that your individual self was wrong and you "not fitting" as a woman/man means you have to reject the group identity.

But they can't reject individuality because they've come up in the most liberal society and culture to ever exist. So they settle on a complete inversion of individuality because what they're really saying is that "I didn't want to be a woman because of what others must assume about me, I want to stand out" and so they identify into a group in which they will inherently stand out. Then they emphasize it by stressing how they're trans uber alles. They're still trying to be an individual not by accepting the groups they're part of but by trying to fit themselves into groups so that they'll be an individual.

You can see this in the way most of them have interpreted intersectionality. The original concept was about where you as an individual intersect all within any overlapping groups. The original example was how a Black woman specifically falls through a system that assumes you're either white or a man, when the system recognizes she's a woman it ignores how she's Black and when it recognizes she's Black it forgets she's a woman. They've redefined it into this inverse where all the groups exist within a larger community that has zero divergent interests, it's completely the inverse idea of the original argument. The original version has a "solution" that can be discovered even if we can't understand it currently, the way they use it has no solution.

They're seeking permanent and constant affirmation as an individual through belonging to groups. Whenever the group varies from the individual it becomes a "fail" state. They shuffle the deck of groups rather than accepting existing as an imperfect nuanced individual who belongs but never absolutely. Which is why they're always so tired and exhausted and life is a constant hellscape.

It means that as writers they get popular as individuals by saying what can appeal to the most people in an audience that isn't interested in individual distinction. Which is also what makes them completely replaceable by the next one.

 

[Trianon]

Joe is in an abusive relationship (with trolls).

link | archive

Spoiler: Text

So, yesterday, a ruse that one of my glinnerpilled tormentors sprung on me came into fruition, and fucked something important up for me. This was a long con started in Spring 2021, just waiting for me. Bravo to these dickheads for making something important much harder for me.

It’s mostly resolved by now, after an awkward conversation with a third party who had no reason to know anything about me, in which I had to explain, yeah, there are a lot of angry anti-trans people who have tried to fuck with me in a number of ways.

This was by no means the most hurtful—that was when they sent stolen photos of me and Danny having sex to my boss and my mother—but it was very embarrassing, because it involved someone with whom I had no prior relationship. And I kept having to explain my haters’ motives.

As I was doing so, I realized I felt defensive of these people. Like, the third party would say something like “oh, this sounds awful, these people sound horrible,” and I’d be like, “oh, yeah, I mean, they’re scared, and they think that people like me are a danger to them…”

Later, I was talking to one of my oldest friends about this strange feeling of defensiveness. I found their words so insightful and powerful. They suggested that in some ways I am in an abusive relationship with my trolls.

"one thing that is strange about this kind of thing is that I feel weirdly (but structurally) defensive of the people who do this shit to me
like they are embarrassing members of my family that are unfortunately visible but ultimately harmless
but that is not in fact the case"
"I think your public persona has been such an intimate one, that these actions take on aspects of intimate partner violence (where those protective dynamics tend to arise a lot)"

Anyway, dipping in for a moment in case this rings true for anyone else being targeted by trumpists and/or terfs. Now buggering off again—hope everyone is well. xo

Replies:




Grudges:

 

[Bookwork]

A two-year troll? AWESOME.

What important thing could Joe have been planning to do that's now harder? Joe has never done any important things.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Joe is in an abusive relationship (with trolls).

LMAO. Being away from twitter is killing him.

Joe in an awkward convo with someone where he has to explain why all this shit is out there. It can’t be because he’s an attention seeking narc who loves baiting trolls and showing off his fetishes online which gives them Mountain of material to work with. It can’t be because they have very valid points. Nope. It’s “these poor hatemongers fear brave strong transwomen!” and with that lame excuse trying to be the “empathetic female” he’s now equating himself to an abuse victim.

The projection is so strong. Maybe all the discussion of his wife being a victim of his interpersonal abuse has given him ideas for new female roles to appropriate and ape.

A two-year troll? AWESOME.

What important thing could Joe have been planning to do that's now harder? Joe has never done any important things.

It’s a shame we don’t get more details. Might need to go back and look at Spring 2021. Is that when he posted photos of shoving his hairy man hand down Mallory’s throat on IG? Gotta love him referring to photos he publicly posted for attention and “stolen” They magically become “stolen” when they get the wrong type of attention for Joe.

People were only supposed to comment how kinky and hot the photos were and ladies to DM him that they wanted Joe to shove his hand down their throats.

 

[TheMonkeyMan]

If there were photos of those two actually having sex I have no doubt that they would’ve shown up in this thread.

 

[Potatis Salad]

If there were photos of those two actually having sex I have no doubt that they would’ve shown up in this thread.

He's talking about the photos of his hand crammed into a fully-clothed Mallory's mouth, and his bite marks sunk into a fully-clothed Mallory's cheek. "Stolen" "revenge porn" which Joe posted publicly on Instagram.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

If it matters, Spring 2021 was the introduction of Lilly and rebranding from trans-couple into polycule. Sounds better than harem or Joe moving in his side piece because he’s bored with his “husband”.

I figure Joe had reached the end of the kink fetish line with Mallory after the fisting and failed orgy seeking fall of 2020. He needed new dyke trim.

 

[TheMonkeyMan]

Oh, I’m well aware of the public IG photos. I remember that Katie Herzog specifically pointed out that they were public in an episode of Blocked and Reported.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

Given what the current needs and challenges for the throuple are, I'd guess it's something along the lines of "Joe attempts to get visiting faculty job and someone has already told them about his sordid social media, past and present."

Alternately, somehow someone could have done something to jeopardize their chances of getting a new apartment? Now, that'd be a heck of a thing, but I have no idea how a person could even do it theoretically. There's just too many landlords to alert them all.

 

[Bookwork]

@Diana Moon Glampers your first possibility's pretty damn good. Maybe he sneered about the target institution or head of department there, too, and that got swept into the troll's intel packet.

One thing's for sure, he wouldn't have dropped those xits if he didn't think the troll was about to reveal his stupidity, stupidity of a kind that can't be covered with "Ha ha I meant to do that."

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

We will likely know what problem this alleged “troll” caused Joe, but most likely it was just his own stupid bullshit and he’s blaming a troll for it. Just archiving Joe’s own past tweets and photos is trolling, and even stealing, in Prof Jos’s big womanly brain.

I could easily see something going awry for Jos, maybe with repercussions for his household, and rather than accept he’s an idiot that has a long history of stupid and professionally embarrassing attention seeking behavior online, he blames those dang dirty transphobe trolls. He rushed to Twitter to post about it and proclaim himself a victim so it must have caused some problems, either personally, professional or both.

There’s a reason he’s very publicly and dramatically tweeting about it. But it’s all the fault of those evil TERF transphobes, Jos is the abuse victim!

Joe isn’t just a clown for us, he’s even problematic for the tranny handmaidens. Even a very pro-LGBTWTFBBQ progressive is going to sense red flags with Joe and don’t want that mess. Joe claims to have awkwardly smoothed it over and explained, but that’s cope. I’m sure the person was very understanding and supportive and will now try to stay far away from his stink unless they also happen to have a personality disorder or a kink for saggy middle aged trannies.

Alternately, somehow someone could have done something to jeopardize their chances of getting a new apartment? Now, that'd be a heck of a thing, but I have no idea how a person could even do it theoretically. There's just too many landlords to alert them all.

LMAO this just made me imagine Joe having to go through the application/ interview process to buy a co-op in NYC. I’d be shocked if they had anywhere near the financial stability to buy into a family sized co-op in NYC, but the interview and application process for the desirable ones are hilariously fraught, stressful and competitive.

One thing co-op boards do not want is drama and Joe is “do not want” drama in human form. His SM alone would bar him from buying any desirable co-op in NYC.

I don’t think buying is currently on the cards for our power-throuple. As far as renting landlords just want to make sure you got the $$$$ and nothing shocks them. But for any family sized units I can’t imagine a landlord going with the throuple, plus two dogs, plus infant where only one adult works in the city at a wagie job vs almost anyone else with the funds to rent.

 

[Haram-Habibi]

Eh, maybe someone wanted Joe to emote at some event for pay, they did the quickie "let's see what comes up about him online" thing before making the offer final.....and they stumbled on this thread. This resulted in some quick 'splaining about some questionable crap he's done over the years, since troon armor is no longer an invincibility cloak.

A (real, 100% from birth) girl can dream, anyways.

 

[AMHOLIO]

And my theory is that it's because they don't want to change themselves but they want to change how people treat them, they think that changing their appearance especially in superficial fashion ways will do this because other people are not people they are outputs from your inputs. And the inputs are all simplistic "identity" things like "woman" or "fat" or whatever.

I wish I could be this smart. Good job AirdropShitposts, you're always insightful when you're not kayfabe.

Joe is in an abusive relationship (with trolls).

GOD even his friends are pretentious. How are there multiple people I want to say "shut the fuck up" to when they express simple statements like "It's like you're a battered woman"?

Grudges:

An expert at biting himself in the ass witn this too.

If there were photos of those two actually having sex I have no doubt that they would’ve shown up in this thread.

I am so grateful there aren't.

 

[Uncle Tom's Condo]

Grudges:

This is probably the funniest but truest thing he has ever written.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

It means that as writers they get popular as individuals by saying what can appeal to the most people in an audience that isn't interested in individual distinction. Which is also what makes them completely replaceable by the next one.

The people who benefit from this are the same as the people who benefit from all the popular music sounding basically the same and relying much more on production tricks than anything intrinsically human or unique about them. The same as the people who benefit from all the modern art requiring no skill, just faddish popularity.

When you're the publishers or the music labels or the art dealers, it's best when your stars are fungible. It helps you predict value more accurately to your various stakeholders, and ensures that you can end the career of anyone who gets too big for their britches and says something out of turn. There's nothing so unique about any of them that they can't be replaced in the public consciousness at a moment's notice.

 

[Trianon]

"Do not get it twisted, I am still very smart."


Edit: The fact that he says "reaching out to me and Danny" gives us a clue about the subject matter of the con. He sees it as something they went through, not Lily.

I don't really have a good guess, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that people used to sign him up for gender critical newsletters. Someone made a fake webpage or left a fake review about him or as him, three years ago, and someone important found it.