Worst of Stephen King - Worst books or stories

[WhiskeyJack]

Based on descriptions of his daily habits, King’s best personality trait may just be his ability to write damn bear constantly.

Yeah, I think he said in that interview with GRRM, that he writes about 2 hours a day. I think he said in his On Writing bio that he writes about 2000 words and then spends another hour or two editing it down, which tracks with my own writing experience almost exactly.

Assuming off-days, that would be about 450-550k words a year. He could easily publish a good-sized novel and a dozen shorts/novellas every year at that pace. Or one really big novel. The Stand is about 450K words, and I think that's his longest novel.

I remember how freaked Martin looked when King said that, though. You can say a lot about King, but he's definitely got a work ethic. I doubt he's ever needed to hire a ghostwriter to have something to publish, he's one of the few writers so prolific he's had to start new pen names just to get more stuff published.

 

[McMitch]

I remember how freaked Martin looked when King said that, though.

It freaked Martin out because his question to King was about how the latter handles writer’s block; and King’s response seemed to imply that his only concept of writer’s block is having to fulfill obligations that physically remove him from his writing desk. Compared to Martin, whom struggles to put out a full book a decade at this rate. It’s like someone who struggles running 5K comparing himself to an ultra-marathon runner.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Sorry if this has been asked already (probably by me) but how is Clive Barker anyway?

I think the only thing I've read of him is The Hellbound Heart. Other than that, the phrase "Clive Barker's Clive Barker's Jericho by Clive Barker" echoes in my head for some reason.

Barker is an acquired taste imo, but if you acquire it you will be blown away by what he he has written. Personally I think 'Imajica' is the best dark fantasy ever written, though you really have to become invested in it as it's very dense and layered. It won't grab you in it's first couple hundred pages but the payoff becomes huge as the story progresses.

An easier start to his long fiction might be 'Cabal' which still isn't very long but a good primer to his style. My introduction was Weaveworld which is another excellent dark fantasy that I highly recommend. The Great and Secret Show/Everville is well worth reading as well. The concept of 'Quiddity' the dream-sea from this universe has really stuck with me over the years. I didn't really like Gallilee all that much, imo Barker peaked with Imajica as a novelist.

One thing that stands out in his writing is his fascination with anal sex, usually gay anal sex. Almost every novel he writes has at least 1 primary character who is an ass-man and has a graphic encounter or two.

His short fiction is almost as good as King's. All the 'books of blood' are interesting with some works standing out more then others.

Overall I say give him a try if you like well written very long tales of dark fantasy with a good dose of horror.

 

[Replacement Account]

His short fiction is almost as good as King's. All the 'books of blood' are interesting with some works standing out more then others.

Yeah I think I'll agree with that. They can vary in fun ways too - one could have a demon trying to outsmart a gherkin importer, another could have a rampaging giant made of communists. I recommend them.

 

[boofit]

Barker is an acquired taste imo, but if you acquire it you will be blown away by what he he has written.

Agreed but beware he is fucking gay and it shows. It's not terribly wholesome. Still he goes places few go (can't think of any myself). It's good horror and good worldbuilding with fantasy touches.

 

[Mola Ram]

Agreed but beware he is fucking gay and it shows.

Still he goes places few go (can't think of any myself).

Like, say, into man ass.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Like, say, into man ass.

Very big on the man ass. As least some hot chick ass in Imajica, though it's really almost anal rape when you consider the circumstances and nature of the woman involved.

(Yes, this IS to intrigue people who haven't read Imajica to do so.)

 

[Mola Ram]

Very big on the man ass. As least some hot chick ass in Imajica, though it's really almost anal rape when you consider the circumstances and nature of the woman involved.

(Yes, this IS to intrigue people who haven't read Imajica to do so.)

The only thing of his I ever read was The Great and Secret Show, and while I wouldn't say I liked it, there were such big, sweeping, unusual ideas in it that I keep meaning to revisit it. Imajica is one of those things that always looked intriguing to me, so maybe I'll pick it up.

Regardless of hot chick ass and what might be done to it.

 

[The Un-Clit]

The only thing of his I ever read was The Great and Secret Show, and while I wouldn't say I liked it, there were such big, sweeping, unusual ideas in it that I keep meaning to revisit it. Imajica is one of those things that always looked intriguing to me, so maybe I'll pick it up.

Regardless of hot chick ass and what might be done to it.

Everville is the sequel to The Great and Secret Show and does a good job expanding on the concepts established there and well worth the read if you've finished TGaSS, but yes read Imajica ASAP. I was not at all exaggerating when I call it the best dark fantasy ever written.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Barker manages to write damn queer things with women, as well. Coldheart Canyon (do not read it first, it is a very subpar detective with actual fantasy/horror elements very low on the list. Also he does not know peacocks have no dick) and few others come to mind.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

His short fiction is almost as good as King's. All the 'books of blood' are interesting with some works standing out more then others.

Overall I say give him a try if you like well written very long tales of dark fantasy with a good dose of horror.

They're great, I love Clive Barker's stuff. It's got that element of sexuality and eroticism with the horror too, kind of like an HR Giger drawing.

Probably the coolest story was Son of Celluloid IMO but also has Rawhead Rex and the Candyman story.

 

[William Murderface]

I recently reread IT and I found the side stories were far more engaging than anything involving the Losers Club directly. Things like Hanlon's notebook where he had the stories of the Bonnie and Clyde type gang getting gunned down in Derry or the bar massacre by the lumberjack a generation before that. Or the story about the boy who went missing and was killed by the canal by what he thought was the Creature from the Black Lagoon and how it was tied into the boy's stepfather who had beaten his little brother to death. Or Patrick Hochstetter, the boy who was a sociopath and was killed by flying pasta shells by Pennywise.

The sewer gang bang wasn't as graphic as I remembered it, but the whole episode was pointless. They all loved each other so they screwed Bev to calm down? His editors could have cut the entire thing out and not a thing would have been lost. But something that stands out related to that scene and has bugged me for years was from Desperation. The 12 year boy has an 7 year old sister. She gets killed in the course of the story and he thinks about her "mosquito bite breasts" and how they will never get any larger. That's the only thing I remember about that story and just how odd it was.

I did dislike how after King started getting into his Dark Tower books suddenly everything was tied to it. IT, Salem's Lot, The Stand, almost everything. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't somehow tie that short story about the surgeon who was marooned by drug dealers on an island and had to eat his own flesh to stay alive wasn't somehow tied into the Dark Tower. not everything needs or should be connected.

 

[Mola Ram]

I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't somehow tie that short story about the surgeon who was marooned by drug dealers on an island and had to eat his own flesh to stay alive wasn't somehow tied into the Dark Tower.

That surgeon was almost certainly working with the same drug dealers Eddie is muling for in Drawing of the Three -- King's terrible gangster characters all seem to link up there. So you're probably more right than you realize.

 

[Lone Star]

Honestly, it's easier to get enjoyment out of reading IT if you take it as a horror comedy. Almost every horror scene has a character/narrator do/say something really stupid that just rips you out of the horror and might even make you laugh. Like I don't know how being chased by literal actual Rodan in a horror novel or IT calling the black guy a coon can be seen as anything but goofy, amongst other scenes. There's also weird shit like The Turtle, which is basically a creator god, dying from choking to death from eating galaxies makes me wonder if this is really meant to be taken seriously.

 

[skykiii]

Honestly, it's easier to get enjoyment out of reading IT if you take it as a horror comedy. Almost every horror scene has a character/narrator do/say something really stupid that just rips you out of the horror and might even make you laugh.

 

[Constellationzero]

That surgeon was almost certainly working with the same drug dealers Eddie is muling for in Drawing of the Three -- King's terrible gangster characters all seem to link up there. So you're probably more right than you realize.

What about the gambler/pedophile from Popsy?

Or Dolan and his men from Dolan's Cadillac?

Or the tabloid writer protagonist in Nightflyer?

 

[Constellationzero]

Sorry if this has been asked already (probably by me) but how is Clive Barker anyway?

I think the only thing I've read of him is The Hellbound Heart. Other than that, the phrase "Clive Barker's Clive Barker's Jericho by Clive Barker" echoes in my head for some reason.

I recently finished Weaveworld. GREAT story. It's long but GREAT! I really enjoyed it--and there's a PDF online free of the Weaveworld comic if you have trouble following/conceptualizing Clive's descriptions.

My all-time favorite is The Thief of Always. I've read it over and over and over and over. It's a fable for all ages--not just young adults.

I have the Books of Blood Volumes 1-3. Dread, Scapegoats, Confessions of a Pornagrapher's Shroud, Rawhead Rex, Pig Blood Blues, and Sex, Death and Starshine are highly recommended.
Honorable mentions: Human Remains, Midnight Meat Train, The Yattering and Jack.

I've read part of Abarat book 1, but I put it back on the shelf. It's in my collection, but I just couldn't get into it.
I've got Everville, but I haven't read it yet.
My latest acquisition is Mister B. Gone which I plan to read when I finish the Tommyknockers.

Get you some Clive Barker in your life!

 

[Mola Ram]

What about the gambler/pedophile from Popsy?

Or Dolan and his men from Dolan's Cadillac?

Or the tabloid writer protagonist in Nightflyer?

Well vampires make a fairly notable appearance in the later DT books, so that covers Popsy and Night Flyer (the reporter in the latter is also in The Dead Zone).

As for Dolan, I dunno, maybe not. He's an Irish mobster, and the ones in DT are Eye-talian. But I wouldn't be surprised.

 

[The Un-Clit]

I recently finished Weaveworld. GREAT story. It's long but GREAT! I really enjoyed it--and there's a PDF online free of the Weaveworld comic if you have trouble following/conceptualizing Clive's descriptions.

Get you some Clive Barker in your life!

Absolutely AWESOME novel, my uncle gave it to me as a birthday present at age 12. Have always been grateful for him to #1 introducing me to Clive Barker and #2 assuming that I would be able to fully process, understand and enjoy such a work at that age. (Never heard of the comic, gonna grab it nao, thanks!)

Same uncle also gave me L. Ron Hubbard's "Mission Earth Dekology vol. 1" a year later so his judgement wasn't always spot on, but he sure as fuck nailed it with Weaveworld!

 

[I Shidded I Farded I Came]

Detta Walker is a baffling example of black person writing. The evil and needlessly violent alter ego of a black woman that speaks in over the top ebonic hoodspeak that's mostly just a cunt for no reason, at least for no reason I remember. And her nice side speaks normally, it's only when she goes feral that she speaks in such a stereotypical way. What did King mean by this...?

I always assumed Detta was a caricature on purpose. Susannah was born rich and very well educated/pampered and her exposure to the poors was extremely limited. So the character her mind created was a person who could really only exist in exploitation films. I think the fact that she is such an unreliable narrator, even in her internal monologue and memories, really drives it home. I always took her as a power fantasy that Susan used to cope. The most obvious tells are Detta's "memories" of blue balling honkeys to make herself feel powerful and KICKING them in the balls in spite of, you know, the whole not having legs thing.

Maybe I have been giving King too much credit though.