Containment Random Chris Updates

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The_Luck_Boy said:
Naw, I like to think someone so proud of their pinkeye induced heterochromia suddenly not having eyes would be sooo fitting.
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I've always thought that if Chris was to lose an eye, it would be because he gouged it out for knowledge like Odin did in the Norse myth. Coat it with his merge bs and it sounds like something Chris would do even without troll influence.
 
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Tennis-Ball-Tony said:
Caden's going to break probation to drive from Missouri to bumfuck Virginia, to give Chris a oz?
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This is only speculation, but that house is very big and I don't think Chris and his hoard are the only things in it. Caden is a drug dealer, me thinks he uses it to stash the product using a retard as a shield. Maybe even producing it, all the water needed to grow shrooms that busted him in the first place could maybe be lowered thanks to the house's ground floor basically being inside a hill? A house like that looks like it would have an awful humidity problem
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After getting busted Caden probably got "smart" enough to understand it's better to have middle men (not Chris) do all the dirty work for him while he reaps the benefits from afar.
 
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Ammyterasu said:
After getting busted Caden probably got "smart" enough to understand it's better to have middle men (not Chris) do all the dirty work for him while he reaps the benefits from afar.
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He's a moron. He managed to get busted apparently before selling anything. Dude isn't autistic Walter White, and Chris would be completely untrustworthy as his Jesse Pinkman. He'd do something retarded and contaminate the crop and poof, all gone.
 
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Clyde Cash's Left Teste said:
I've always thought that if Chris was to lose an eye, it would be because he gouged it out for knowledge like Odin did in the Norse myth. Coat it with his merge bs and it sounds like something Chris would do even without troll influence.
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I could see that happening, but it would be unlikely because Chris would not want to lose his heterochromia.

Also, my opinion: Caden isn't El Chapo. He's not some 1990s turbopredator giving out super addictive drugs to third graders like your DARE officer warned you about. Caden grew some mushrooms you can find in cow fields that make you see some colors and feel close to any nearby plants. It's not that hard to do, you just need to be really clean, and follow instructions you find on the Internet.
 
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Chris most definitely has turned to the bottle, achieving a level of pathetic drunk evolution that makes Sockness look even possibly functional alcoholic? Chris likes things that make Chris 'Feel good', a high he can no longer chase with ripping open Lego packages. So he moved onto whatever what was handy at any local gas station and what he learned from Borb.... booze. There was once a trooned out tard with so many fake multiple personalities he didn't know what to do, the internet hates him, but he created Sonichu! So he groaned and sighed, shit himself just a little.. now he survives on vodka and fanta bent duck spittle.
 
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Ammyterasu said:
This is only speculation, but that house is very big and I don't think Chris and his hoard are the only things in it. Caden is a drug dealer, me thinks he uses it to stash the product using a retard as a shield. Maybe even producing it, all the water needed to grow shrooms that busted him in the first place could maybe be lowered thanks to the house's ground floor basically being inside a hill? A house like that looks like it would have an awful humidity problem
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After getting busted Caden probably got "smart" enough to understand it's better to have middle men (not Chris) do all the dirty work for him while he reaps the benefits from afar.
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It looks like this house could hold multiple tenants.

I suppose he could be using at least one of the levels for his shroom operation.

Which would also explain where Chris has been; Caden wants him so hopped up on shrooms in the mushroom kingdom, he's a literal zombie slave who can produce content while taking care of the shroomery.

The pre-recorded videos is just until Caden thinks he's ready..
 
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Glassshardballpit said:
Which would also explain where Chris has been; Caden wants him so hopped up on shrooms in the mushroom kingdom, he's a literal zombie slave who can produce content while taking care of the shroomery.
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Chris can't take care of a stray cat that was finding ways to feed itself in the wild. A shrooms factory? Caden would be beating Chris after the first day after Chris tried mixing the bags with paint so they'd grow Super Mario styled fungus.
 
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The_Luck_Boy said:
Chris can't take care of a stray cat that was finding ways to feed itself in the wild. A shrooms factory? Caden would be beating Chris after the first day after Chris tried mixing the bags with paint so they'd grow Super Mario styled fungus.
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Hah I could totally see Chris trying to have his own mushroom kingdom and he dresses up like Princess peach.
 
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I think Chris is just either spending time trying get in to Flutter’s pants or he’s just staying off the internet to avoid trouble because Heilberg told him to keep his mouth shut and because Caden doesn’t want to lose out on money
 
BeatboxBill said:
I think Chris is just either spending time trying get in to Flutter’s pants or he’s just staying off the internet to avoid trouble because Heilberg told him to keep his mouth shut and because Caden doesn’t want to lose out on money
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Sex with Flutter Putter would be feasible...( I know.) And would probably one of the only things that could pull Chris away from the internet.

Tbh, if they were ever going to produce Chris or Crystal Junior, now would be the time before the last remaining of her eggs go the way of the West.

It sounds like they've made quite the caboodle of money, so they might be taking a Sabbath so that they can get busy doing other things.

If there's no cons to attend and they don't need to immediately make videos because they've got some things lined up, then they could possibly focus on other things.

It's not like Chris doesn't have a place where he could legitimately take Cabbage Patch.
 
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Hopkinsville Goblin said:
I could see that happening, but it would be unlikely because Chris would not want to lose his heterochromia.

Also, my opinion: Caden isn't El Chapo. He's not some 1990s turbopredator giving out super addictive drugs to third graders like your DARE officer warned you about. Caden grew some mushrooms you can find in cow fields that make you see some colors and feel close to any nearby plants. It's not that hard to do, you just need to be really clean, and follow instructions you find on the Internet.
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I think you could get it in Chris's head that his heterochromia is actually do to him being of two worlds or something along the lines is that it's actually what's keeping the merge from happening. With him purging his Earth-1218 eye in order to fully unite his cwcville self and bring about the merge. If Chris ever does this, I just hope it has no real troll involment and its like the taint wound saga
 
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TBF, I don't believe Etsy store is a front for drugs, for two reasons:
- It's not practical when you can just sell all the drawings and shit that's piss easy to make for so much money
- Etsy is filled with several other frauds like stealing others's work and selling fake items under premise of being Chris's work.
 
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Zeus Blue Thunder said:
TBF, I don't believe Etsy store is a front for drugs, for two reasons:
- It's not practical when you can just sell all the drawings and shit that's piss easy to make for so much money
- Etsy is filled with several other frauds like stealing others's work and selling fake items under premise of being Chris's work.
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What about a money laundering operation? Bot farms make a bunch of fake accounts. Money is funneled in through payments of items, and it looks like lots of people are buying things.

One interesting tidbit is that no one's ever seen Chris mailing out a large volume of stuff. If Chris really is responsible for mailing the items out, plus how much business is going on, then Chris should be at the post office or UPS store with a huge amount of things to ship. Given Chris has a horrible reputation at mailing things out, just given how much is being sold makes me think that stuff isn't being shipped out, or at least Chris isn't doing that.

If stuff is being mailed from somewhere else, like Missouri, someone would have said something. "Hey, I thought Chris lived in Virginia, why does this stuff have a Missouri post mark or return address?"
 
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Black Yoshi said:
Chris is free now, Heilberg has no power over him anymore.
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I know he is free, what I meant is when he got released from jail maybe Heilberg gave him some advice before he left
Glassshardballpit said:
Sex with Flutter Putter would be feasible...( I know.) And would probably one of the only things that could pull Chris away from the internet.

Tbh, if they were ever going to produce Chris or Crystal Junior, now would be the time before the last remaining of her eggs go the way of the West.

It sounds like they've made quite the caboodle of money, so they might be taking a Sabbath so that they can get busy doing other things.

If there's no cons to attend and they don't need to immediately make videos because they've got some things lined up, then they could possibly focus on other things.

It's not like Chris doesn't have a place where he could legitimately take Cabbage Patch.
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Whatever is going on, he’s definitely keeping it secret from the public
 
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