countrybumpkin
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- Dec 13, 2022
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r/ftm•Adventurous-Ad6054
How to cope with dysphoria with s/x with my partner !(tw: dysphoria/ transphobia)!
(Tldr at the end)
I’m a stealth ftm and I’m dating another stealth ftm. For context, Many years ago I found myself on terf forums (while out as trans!) and because I was stealth, they accepted me. (Looking on it, I just felt so validated having the people who “hate” me take me in). However even now I find myself thinking those thoughts that terfs/transphobes would shout around.
I got with my now boyfriend years ago and honestly everything was good. My only problem is id get jealous of his past s/xual partners (men on women). But then it increasingly only became cis men I was jealous of. He was the first person I’ve ever had s/x with but even still he never gets jealous when I mention my ex’s.
Not too long ago we had our first 3some with a cis man. To make a very long and crazy story short, s/x was great! But the guy was not. However I’d always notice that my bf would always get excited to have s/x in the threesome but would be hesitant when it was just us. (He has a very very low libido while I have a very high one.) at first I didn’t mind because the s/x was great- but we finally kicked the guy to the curb after we found out stuff about him- like him not seeing us as men and misgendering us when confronted.
The problem was was that this really made the transphobic remarks in my head much worse. At first I had hope that a cis man would view me as a man and pushed away doubts but this solidified it for me. What makes it more frustrating was my boyfriend rarely bottoms for me even when I ask many times, but would be excited to bottom for him. I mentioned this many times of how it made me jealous and feel like he doesn’t view me the same but he assured me he didn’t.
After having the guy out of our lives, we’ve had sex very few times. And to be fair a lot of it stems from my boyfriend feeling violated and used (after finding out the guy was a shithead).
However now recently my dysphoria has been through the roof because I keep thinking back to when we were hooking up with him- my boyfriend would almost never say no to seeing him. And how happy he felt after seeing him. But he always is hesitant for s/x with me.
I confronted him and he broke down crying saying that he preferred cis guys s/xually. It was a very nice and understanding conversation and my jealousy has improved to the point where I didn’t get upset with him during this conversation. And just because he prefers them doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel attraction to me.
But for over a month now the terf-y thoughts in my brain won’t leave. I keep trying to find the most life like feeling dildo (and I found a pretty nice one ngl) and trying to act even more masculine but he declines having s/x where he’s penetrated every time. And I can’t stop comparing myself to cis men and feeling inadequate. I feel like my boyfriend won’t ever feel satisfied because of my parts. I feel like he’s missing out. I keep finding myself back at terf forums as a form of sh because people are saying my biggest fears im thinking and it’s validating in a fucked up way. I don’t know what to do, but I hate where I’m at currently.
(Tldr: feel jealous and comparing myself to cis men from years of looking at terf forums and feeling like I will never compare to a cis man and my boyfriend, who prefers cis men s/xually, will never feel fully satisfied with me s/xually because of my parts. It got worse after a 3sum with a cis man who actually saw us as girls. How do I stop obsessing over this?? I haven’t had this bad of dysphoria in years and I don’t know how to cope.)
The narc balls on these troons is simply incredible. He's going to treat his wife to some sort of trans chimp out about his being a "mom" too on Mother's Day.
Not only is it not safe, unsafe is the thrill. Unsafe is why to do it that way."Would having public sex with complete strangers be safe, as an FTM man?"
Selfish fucking Troon piece of shit only cares about his own fetish and not how much his AGP bullshit is going to fuck with his children's heads.
Meanwhile, the actual assholes flourish.
yes, that is correct, a person who passes perfectly would be treated as a woman. Women with complete androgen insensitivity are women, even if they have a Y chromosome, because they developed as women. The problem is that this is an impossible transformation for a troon, it does not occur. On some level of scrutiny, trans people will not pass. Even if an incidental interaction would not lead to them being clocked by most people, more prolonged interactions will reveal the truth. If a very androgynous trans women kept to himself and didn't make a huge deal about it, I think it probably would be possible for him to get treated as a women in most short social interactions. The more people spent time with him though, the more the tells would show. And of course, the continuously apparent trans lightning rod, sexual contact would be an instant tell.Tranny tries to come up with an answer to "What is a woman?" and basically claims "If you look like a woman then you are one" but a comment accuses him of excluding TIMs who dont pass, and a TIF claims that his definition would include her.
View attachment 5982663
Self-Made Man: My Year Disguised as a Man is a 2006 book by journalist Norah Vincent, recounting an 18-month experiment in which she disguised herself as a man and then integrated into traditionally male-only venues, such as a bowling league and a monastery.
C'mon, if this was a TiM you would immediately realize he's most likely lying when he describes his parents yelling at him until he can't bend his fingers. You don't have to believe all women, she's lying so she can get pity from reddit. In fact, I'd say that even for a BPD teenage girl, she's especially histrionic and prone to exaggeration. I'm sure that some time going to church with her violent grandparents would help.I'm worried about her. The yelling from mom and dad isn't helping since she sees it as a huge breach of trust, but I can't be too upset at that when it is a very human response to yell with worry. I think a stay in the psych ward would be better and help her get to the root of her problem, a girl's school might think she's cool for pooning. I'm mostly worried she won't make it to the psych appointment on Monday given the way she talks, she seems to see herself backed in a corner and I hope reddit or her brain doesn't push her to do something rash until then.
Sounds fair, if a man actually manages to fool me into thinking he's a woman then I'll use she/her for him. If I realize he's a man then I won't. Deal.Tranny tries to come up with an answer to "What is a woman?" and basically claims "If you look like a woman then you are one" but a comment accuses him of excluding TIMs who dont pass, and a TIF claims that his definition would include her.
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The call went on for about two hours from which i had spent the most trying not to break down. The man was being disgusting in many ways. To every reply he got out of me and wasn’t satisfied with, he spat into the camera. I was degraded and insulted, told i‘m a lost cause multiple times. Parallel to verbally attacking me, he was also being a creep: telling me how he likes my smile and then asking me if i‘d meet him if he paid for the flight tickets and that he would, i quote: "throw me into the trunk of his car."
Tranny tries to come up with an answer to "What is a woman?" and basically claims "If you look like a woman then you are one" but a comment accuses him of excluding TIMs who dont pass, and a TIF claims that his definition would include her.
View attachment 5982663
Sounds fair, if a man actually manages to fool me into thinking he's a woman then I'll use she/her for him. If I realize he's a man then I won't. Deal.
They are not merely trying to fast talk the rest of us with their silly sophistry.I love how they try the semantics game. As if they can rules-lawyer themselves into womanhood. It's so detached from real life.
This dude is weird AF. I think they might have removed part of his brain when they fixed his cleft palate.When is pain in the balls normal?
Link Archive
View attachment 5982736
Some would say never, but it really depends of you definition of "normal".tee hee
Link to selfie
View attachment 5982740
They deleted the post from feeds, but it was available by searching the profile.
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HRT balls are the least of this dudes problem, he looks like he's got a serious coke habit, one side of his nose has collapsed, I've only seen that in people that have snorted rock star amounts.When is pain in the balls normal?
Link Archive
View attachment 5982736
Some would say never, but it really depends of you definition of "normal".tee hee
Link to selfie
View attachment 5982740
They deleted the post from feeds, but it was available by searching the profile.
View attachment 5982742
You sure that's what that is?dude is weird AF. I think they might have removed part of his brain when they fixed his cleft palate.
Thanks for the background check.For the past three years he's claimed over and over that he's just started transitioning. Appears to be an addiction to Reddit updoots.
Nah, it's a very poorly done surgical repair of what was likely a severely cleft lip and palate. In one of his selfies he's wearing glasses and you can tell they're a very strong prescription, so I'd guess he has Stickler syndrome.HRT balls are the least of this dudes problem, he looks like he's got a serious coke habit, one side of his nose has collapsed, I've only seen that in people that have snorted rock star amounts.
Considering he's complained about it a few times over the years, I'm gonna guess...no.Thanks for the background check.
I wonder if the pain in his balls is real?![]()