DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Torpedo]

Phil said those recent donations weren't enough, hitting the goal every month isn't enough and that he wants people to send him games on the pre stream today.

 

[wohzi]

As usual, his BF1 MP videos are appalling : He has the awareness of Steevie Wonder and the reaction time of a crippled sloth.
Also, you'd figure that, having played so many BF before, he'd knew how to spot people, but no, he still doesn't.

What was his catchphrase again ? "If I could slap you through the Internet I would"

 

[Near]

Just got uploaded, but here's Sammy making a video to beg for people to give DSP a dollar. It's gotten really pathetic. I wonder if Nick "Traditionalgames" Bates will join in on that e-begging campaign along with the other exceptionals

 

[RIP_SANITY]

BSV probably will. probably donate 300 or more dollars.

 

[Honeybunny]

BSV probably will. probably donate 300 or more dollars.

And yet DSP will still say it's not enough without ever thanking him

 

[wohzi]

DSP Classics :

"As little as a dollar per month helps. "
"Folks, you might not know about this, but free money helps ! *Snort*"
"You don't need that Dollar, but I need it to pay my bills and continue to play video games everyday to entertain you after your hard day of work"
"If you don't send me that money now I might disappear from YT !"
"If a million persons would send me one dollar, I'd be millionaire !"(DSP's wet dream)
"Also, remember to be consistent with your donations, I'm tired of coming back at you every month because you forgot to pledge"
"Send me gifts also, free games and stuff, it's ALWAYS appreciated ! *SNORT*"
"Spread the word : I do stuff on YT. I know it's amazing, but there is still people out there that don't know I have a YT channel and a Patreon account! So tell your parents and your co-workers !"

 

[Curious Observer]

EDIT: I would be the last one to find out Sammy's back. My bad.

 

[Without A Gout]

Best part of the video:

The PS4 main menu music is absolutely fitting for Phil's monologues. It's as sad and somber as he wants the viewer to feel.

 

[Dragoonism]

I'm going to step out of line a little bit and be a bit curious, if you were tasked with trying to turn Phils channel around to the better, with him still there of course, what would you do?

 

[Curious Observer]

I'm going to step out of line a little bit and be a bit curious, if you were tasked with trying to turn Phils channel around to the better, with him still there of course, what would you do?

Shut down the channel. At this point, it's salvageable. His highlights are his old MGS playthroughs and being known as that guy who was caught jerking off on camera. There isn't much you're able to do to recover from that.

Though another idea would be to force Phil to play some of the worst games ever, or those that are unfairly hard or buggy. At least this way, his complaints will actually seem somewhat valid and forgivable.

 

[Mr. Idiot]

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Are we sure Phil actually has a business degree? Because he pretty much said right here. "I don't care if I'm not entertaining." And that's the last thing a youtuber should be saying if this really is his business.

He is so clueless about why people watch LPers. Maybe if he actually watched someone like Jontron or Vanoss... naw, that would take too long. Have to watch more WWE!

''My purpose is to show you how a game plays, from an 'average gamer' perspective.''

Then you failed for 8 years straight, Philly boy. Unless average gamers are supposed to see any kind of challenge as almost impossible and complain about everything.

Also, 'That one dollar you spend on crap means alot to me.'. Yeah, why buy a 1-dollar snack at a cheap store when you could fund it towards Phil's Domino's order? I mean, it's not like you could actually eat the pizza by doing so, but you get the privelege of watching him 'review' (wolf it down his gaping pit of neverending gluttony) the pizza while listening to his 'rich and developed culture taste'. (pig-snorted munching and belching).

I'd seriously love to see DSP offer any kind of actual valid point towards donating to his besides just a shallow 'thank you' note if he's even in a good mood.

 

[Sphere of Many Eyes]

Though another idea would be to force Phil to play some of the worst games ever, or those that are unfairly hard or buggy. At least this way, his complaints will actually seem somewhat valid and forgivable.

Unfortunately , on the rare occasion he plays a game that's just shit, it makes for a less entertaining Phil.

 

[Near]

I'm going to step out of line a little bit and be a bit curious, if you were tasked with trying to turn Phils channel around to the better, with him still there of course, what would you do?

There's no fixing his personality, so nothing i would recommend he'd agree to. Effort is taboo, and you're blawcked if you even insinuate it.
And no i wouldn't do editing for him, because fuck Phil. He'd expect me to do shit for free for him so i'd call him a faggot and move on with better things to do. He brought this on himself

 

[Mr. Idiot]

There's no fixing his personality, so nothing i would recommend he'd agree to. Effort is taboo, and you're blawcked if you even insinuate it.
And no i wouldn't do editing for him, because fuck Phil

That's pretty much Phil in a nutshell.

Shut down the channel. At this point, it's salvageable. His highlights are his old MGS playthroughs and being known as that guy who was caught jerking off on camera. There isn't much you're able to do to recover from that.

'What?! Dood, you're asking me to shut down 8 years of mah legacy that I build up on YouTube?! *snort* Fuck off, troll! Also that MSG mahntaag was EvilAJ's fault! He's portraying me as a total scumbag while he's still not caught and put in a asylum yet, 'kay? And for the last time, I WAS MERELY SCRATCHING MY LEG! *snort* Fucking detractor kids, worthless pieces of shit. BTW donate to me or I'm gawna blawk ya!'

Though another idea would be to force Phil to play some of the worst games ever, or those that are unfairly hard or buggy. At least this way, his complaints will actually seem somewhat valid and forgivable.

'You want me to play a legitimately hard game? Donate then! I'll bring up a poll and--wuhaaaat, you want to me play this game now?! Screw you, idiot! I got my serious full adult business to-*burp* run, I don't have time to play this shit during the heartcore gaymen season. Also check out mah girlfriend's soap business.'

 

[Curious Observer]

There are politicians that don't double-talk as much as you, Phil.

 

[Vault Boy]

He's not going to play Skyrim Special Edition, is he? Be a shame if he defiled a fantastic game more than once.

 

[Freshtodeath]

I'm going to step out of line a little bit and be a bit curious, if you were tasked with trying to turn Phils channel around to the better, with him still there of course, what would you do?

Eliminate all guide use/hand holding
bring back his "Cooking with King" series
Fly out his old friend John Rambo and reveal the surprise on stream
play shitty/hard games like superman 64
Make more vlogs (driving to mcdonalds, gamestop etc)

all those things would help but are things he will never do.

 

[Buck Bumble]

I'm going to step out of line a little bit and be a bit curious, if you were tasked with trying to turn Phils channel around to the better, with him still there of course, what would you do?

With him still there? That's simple.

Kick him out, shut down the main DSP and Kingofhatevlogs channels, and then replace every video on KOGaming with Adam Sessler snorting coke and screaming about how reviewing anime games on Xplay was the highlight of his life.

Also, I love that Sammy decides "It can't be Phil, but blaming the detractors is too easy...It's society's fault! Everyone is SJWs now! Society killed DSP!"

 

[Dragoonism]

To answer my own question.

Well yeah, the best would be to kick him, but if that's not a option.
Much less streaming, perhaps 2-3 times a week, the rest offline.
Fewer YT videos.
Have him stop, impossible i know, with his aggressive outburst until he is off stream, recording or social media.
Have fixed dates for his vlogs and like 1-2 KOGaming videos a week
Instead of trying to play every game that comes out, narrow it down to a genre or a few specific games.
Renovate his Patreon, 2-3 small and easily repetitive goals and one big, completely change the rewards.
Limit his social media activity.

By spamming himself, he have saturated the market for him and his aggressiveness and negativity towards fans and others doesn't appeal to the mainstream audience.

 

[Adamska]

What I could do would be limited, because Phil cannot accept criticism or doing things that require effort.Realistically, I would not be able to fix his channel, but let's say he did decide to listen to me for some reason:

1. Reduce his prestream crying to say 5-10 minutes. This is to make sure stragglers still have a bit of time to get on.
1a. Move his cry fests to his blogs for more kahntent as a result of cutting it out from his prestreams.
2. Make it so he cannot use a guide or chat to hold his hand. This alone would help him in keeping viewers since his hatebase is impatient to some degree and will log in to watch him fail. It also makes him more likely to be chatty, since he doesn't talk unless he either notices the quiet or is getting wrecked.
3. Co-opt a "hater' if possible, like that DipShitPhil guy since he likes Phil. Have him on a payroll to edit Phil fucking up into a montage; like he gets a 25% cut for the views on that puppy or something. Put these on KOGaming.
4. Do not cut videos to below 15-20 minutes. This prevents video spam turning away subs while still being easily digestible by the watcher. It also bumps up his search results in YT.

He's still a dumpster fire, but he'd become an entertaining dumpster fire that gets refueled by gas and some powders to make the fire go pretty.

But this would all rely on Phil having enough humility and willingness to listen to others that he wouldn't be a struggling and dying fuck-up in the first place.