Horrorcow Cecily Kellogg / CecilyK / Uppercase Woman - unrepentant terrible human being liked by no one.

She has standard mousy brown hair. Speaking of mice, Cecily and Charlie had to get rid of their family heirloom piano because it was overflowing with dead mice. They didn't notice this until they were foreclosed upon and had to flee Lansdowne in the middle of the night for the Point Breeze ghetto. Charlie thought it was cool that their piano had become a rodent graveyard, sharing pics of the maggot-infested corpses and mouse skeletons online (swiftly deleted when it was pointed out that this was something very disturbing and a health and hygiene issue for their child).

Just when you think they can't get any grosser, they exceed all expectations.

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Cecily haz a sad today about not attending a conference where she loved to go and grift from others, inviting herself to meals and forgetting her wallet three times a day. Oh, and inserting herself onto 'panels' where throngs of her fans would show up to get a whiff of what once-a-week bathing smells like.

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Imagine this woman trying to teach anyone anything. This is the same Cecily who referred to her "nasty cunt midwife" and blamed others for her lack of basic knowledge about pregnancy and childbirth. Yes, after years of fertility treatment, she hadn't picked up the most rudimentary terms or information.

Next time you read her crying about losing "the boys" (including the twin she admitted she was "relieved" and not very sad to miscarry, because it would make her life easier), remember that Cecily made herself so obese pre-pregnancy that it was a struggle for her to walk three blocks.

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"Yee ha," indeed.

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Mason Verger said:
Wait, didn't she say she always has perfect blood pressure? You know, I'm beginning to think Cecilys not always 100% honest..
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Yes, I posted the image of this quote upthread, but these were her exact words:

Three things have determined that I have a high-risk pregnancy. The twins; my weight; and my blood pressure. At my RE’s, I had several high blood pressure readings (that I think, frankly, were wrong). I’ve never had high blood pressure before (I’m one of those annoying fat people with a cholesterol level of 130 and perfect blood pressure).​

And when her doctor had a word with her about her blood pressure, weight and salt intake, this was how Cecily handled it:

We talked about the water retention. She suggested I wear support hose and eat a low salt diet (less than 3 grams of sodium a day).

And we talked about my weight, several times. While she was matter-of-fact about it, I felt totally judged.

I’ve been fat since high school (more fat sometimes, like now, than others). For the last six years, I’ve also been in incredibly good shape—doctors knew this by noticing my athletic heart rate (48bpm!) and low blood pressure. While they always thought I should lose weight, they commended me on my good exercise habits.
For the last six years, I’ve also been following some sort of modified eating program. Either no sugar and no flour, or Weight Watchers, or something. Like all women, especially all fat women, I know a LOT about nutrition, diet, and how to make changes.

So I bristled a bit when she suggestion I get a dietician to help me figure out how to eat low salt. Not fair, I realize. I do have a nutrionist [sic], and I might ask her for suggestions, but I imagine I can figure it out myself (basically, I just have to not eat anything I like. No problem).

In a typically mature fashion, I took this advice to heart by enjoying a large amount of tater tots (with the salty, salty ketchup) at lunch (in my defense, I didn’t add more salt).​
​
"Incredibly good shape," indeed.

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What makes Cecily so amazing as a cow is that she is a very plugged-in person and utilizes social media in every aspect of her life. She's online obsessively. If she's not asleep, she's online in some manner. Any new piece of social media that comes out, she's jabbering about it.

Yet she does not seem to be able to look at the lives people present as their curated selves and see the chasm between what they do and what she does. Yes, most bloggers are curated and the pictures they post and stories they tell are not accurate representations of what they do in real life because no one wants to see crumbs on the table, the spot where the cat puked or the tantrum the kid threw when she didn't get what she wanted. People want to see cute pictures, aspirational pictures, pictures that make them think, "Hey, she seems to have her shit together. Maybe if I buy (insert whatever product these broads are shilling at the moment), I'll be less messy/a better mother/less likely to beat my kid in the backseat of the car when she won't shut the fuck up about how I sold her American Girl dolls for Monster drinks."

Not subtle, but it's how it often works. Cecily simply has no idea how gross, stupid and nasty she is. That janky IKEA cube that jutted out over the couch and was a visual affront and a danger to anyone who sat near it. Close ups of said project wherein it was clear her home had not been cleaned in months, if not years. Received a new mattress to review and was sure to mention how she tried it out on her knees to make sure she could still blow Charlie on it - I bet the marketing team got a nice talking to about the ROI on that particular mattress. Grinning madly to show her missing teeth. Experimenting with trendy ways of eating, swinging wildly between paleo and gluten-free and veganism with no real idea why anyone eats according to those philosophies, posting pictures of her enormous fat body to show how she looks after embracing the diet book de jour. She takes pictures of her feet relentlessly, as do other bloggers, but those bloggers and IGers feature new lotions and nail polish - Cecily just props her dirty hooves up on that filthy couch cover and snaps away.

She has no idea that the rest of the world, even the parts of the world still patting her on the head, find her physically disgusting. She has no clue that her home is foul and her diet repulsive. She does not get that every other women on the planet - trans, cis, bi, asexual, demisemihemiromantic - think Charlie is so gross that they would cross to the other side of the street when he walked by to make sure he doesn't take an up the skirt shot of them as they get a post-work latte. They certainly are not as charmed by his blue eyes and greasy hat head as Cecily is but she thinks they all see him as a Beatnik poet, a romantic figure photographing the down and out and not a creepy borderline sex offender. And the less said about what she's done to her child the better.

Cecily really thinks she's a trendsetter, an edgy mom with pink hair and a black punk rock wardrobe, who straddles the line between suburban bliss and outsider credibility. She doesn't get that we see the filth. We see her weight. We see her unappealing family. We know she's gross, unclean, lazy, stupid and unethical. She doesn't understand that we know the woman whose hair color and style she stole as her trademark and that that woman hates her too. She doesn't see herself at all, even as she sees everyone else and tries frantically to emulate them. It's fascinating.
 
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I've edited the OP to include Cecily's multiple diagnoses as bipolar, and that horrific example of animal abuse, thank you @exceptionalgoogle . "I don't randomly accept another person's assessment of me, particularly a professional, either a medical doctor or a mental health professional." These are the truest words she's ever spoken it and at the expense of her twins and the emotional and mental well being of her daughter. What she hates and complains about in other people (her mother's oversharing and need for help, her daughter's obnoxiousness and need for attention) are all things she does herself and demands the utmost empathy and immediate compliance. The fact that she believes herself to be more competent that medically trained doctors is a stunning glimpse into the depths of her delusions which are well explained by the Dunning-Kruger effect:

The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which low-ability individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly assessing their ability as much higher than it really is. Dunning and Kruger attributed this bias to a metacognitive inability of those of low ability to recognize their ineptitude and evaluate their ability accurately.
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@Dog Prom 3D can you explain the story of her cavernous vagina? Thank you!
 
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:story: check out this orbiter/asspater of Cecily who's a waddling meme herself. I think posting words in boxes is a good indicator of someone being batshit, but she goes the extra mile by quoting herself. Her eyebrows rival Phil's in how awful they are. I wondered in one picture why her son was wearing a bra? And it turns out it's another daughter getting shuffled into the cult of trans by parents in search of progressive points.

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lol these fucking eyebrows man
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She's white and likes to sperg about black lives matters and how she fears her brown child will be shot one day.
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Of course you celebrate your morbid obesity.
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Her poor kid
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entropyseekswork said:
:story: check out this orbiter/asspater of Cecily who's a waddling meme herself. I think posted words in boxes is a good indicator of someone being batshit, but she goes the extra mile by quoting herself. Her eyebrows rival Phil's in how awful they are. I wondered in one picture why her son was wearing a bra? And it turns out it's another daughter getting shuffled into the cult of trans by parents in search of progressive points.

B0Pz1y.png

Pv0plb.png

lol these fucking eyebrows man
9K7CnA.png

She's white and likes to sperg about black lives matters and how she fears her brown child will be shot one day.
oKhwri.png

Of course you celebrate your morbid obesity.
lTQRtd.png

Her poor kid
QZM1xt.png

XPm50F.png
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So, own thread when?
 
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