Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[monstrous bubo]

Fucking hell, I get that a lot of personal upkeep shit goes out the window when a baby comes, but in that case stay home or at least get some dry shampoo up in there.

Idiot theory time…

He was not looking very glam through the pregnancy either. He dressed like a clown but no dresses, more like an eccentric aging lesbian. Even lipstick seemed to disappear. He now just looks like a Brooklyn dad with awful hair, not a brave stunning transwomen. Apart from his appearance, Joe has of late been denying that he is a transwoman (no stalker child, I never said I was, despite evidence to the contrary). IIRC there’s been some sperging about evil terfs and their gender categories too. He had to go off E to procreate. Do we have any evidence he went back on it?

What I’m saying is… what if he’s effectively detransitioning and painting it as a radical questioning of gender identities and rejection of the binary? Basically he wouldn’t have to admit he was wrong, could keep the trans kudos because he’s overturning evil norms and fighting terfs, but gets a functioning reproductive system again and feel all the good T feels.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Fucking hell, I get that a lot of personal upkeep shit goes out the window when a baby comes, but in that case stay home or at least get some dry shampoo up in there.

I suspect he's so afraid of losing (more) hair he washes as seldom as possible, because every time he takes a shower there's a whole muskrat in the drain after.

Even more alarmingly, I don't know what shape this is, but it is not the shape of a human head:

 

[TheMonkeyMan]

He looks like Tommy Wiseau but more ridiculous.

 

[monstrous bubo]

Even more alarmingly, I don't know what shape this is, but it is not the shape of a human head:

Joseph Lavery Presents, coming to a streamer near you.

He looks like Tommy Wiseau but more ridiculous

And it seemed some things were impossible.

 

[Trianon]

Sharing shifts for now.

 

[everybody in Portugal]

Sharing shifts for now.
View attachment 5993165

Wait, do they all usually get 12h of sleep a night, then? Or are the 'split shifts' split unevenly or what?

Bet it's cope and Mal is doing most of the heavy lifting, Lilly is doing the stuff only biological mums/women can, and Joe is doing sweet fuck-all, though.

 

[CyrusKissFanClub]

Joe shaved, but the stubble is still visible. Do you think he thinks that shaving makes him look more like a woman? That if he shaves, the public will believe that he is the mother of the child.

Joe is looking hypogonadic. He's all flabby, balding, fat, jowly, and baggy-eyed. You can't just remove testosterone from a male phenotype and expect to avoid developing the appearance of a eunuch.

Mallory looks like a special needs adult that Joe supervises.

 

[monstrous bubo]

If you need something to read over the weekend, Tard Baby has published her thoughts in Liberties Journal.



You can take the girl out of the Christian college… remarkably she does not use the word trans once in the article.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

If you need something to read over the weekend, Tard Baby has published her thoughts in Liberties Journal.

View attachment 5996563

You can take the girl out of the Christian college… remarkably she does not use the word trans once in the article.

This seems like a not very subtle message to her sister. At least Mallory hasn’t gotten anti-sibling tattoos on her body afaik.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

Wow, that article sure puts the nail in the coffin about Mallory being in any way a good or well-meaning person.

After all, one’s little brother is often the first person one has to talk to and when one’s family is the whole world, it’s only after death that the obligation is lifted. It’s true that one similarly has to talk to one’s parents, but one also needs to talk to them, since they’re the ones with access to money and food and toys, and so on.

This is what she thinks relationships are: transactional. You have to be in a relationship with your parents because they have money and food and toys. If a six year old felt like this about their family relationships, it would be somewhat immature and disrespectful, and the parents should have some conversations about it. Mallory is a full-grown adult with a newborn baby in the house, and still thinks the only reason a child loves its parents is to wheedle things out of them.

Lot’s unnamed daughters believe the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah has extended to the rest of the earth, and the elder says to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth: Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve the seed of our father.” The younger sister’s response is not recorded, although since the two of them proceed to carry out the plan, we might safely assume she agreed with it.

In Genesis chapter twenty-five verse nine, Isaac and Ishmael bury their father Abraham together, but whether they worked together happily, or begrudgingly, we do not know; whatever they might have said to one another, or even if they spoke at all, is not recorded. They do their duty by him, but no more. Theirs is a polite estrangement, which does not require words to support it.

Here and at other points in this article, Mallory seems to express a displeasure that Biblical passages aren't riveting dialogue-fests made by writers with unlimited access to additional pages to write on. This type of wry "hee hee look how their writing conventions do not match ours" sounded a lot more silly and fun when she was an ingenue but now she just seems uneducated.

This is not the only occasion in Genesis where children are held responsible for father-child incest. A similar episode in chapter nine divides Noah’s sons against one another. “Noah drank of the wine and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. And Ham…saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father.”

The sex is here implied in the phrase “saw the nakedness,” rather than stated outright as in “Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father”; indirect euphemisms for sexual contact and vulnerability are common throughout the Bible, where “thighs” and “feet” often serve as stand-ins for genitals, and where “seeing” and “knowing” refer to sex acts.

The idea that Noah was getting busy with his son is pretty messed up and not a theory that matches any scholars' interpretations of this passage. The word translated as "saw" is different from a later word used in Lev. and Deut. usually translated as "uncovered," and only the latter is used to imply sexual activity. It's obvious that this passage is about simply visually seeing drunk, naked Noah because if it's about incest, why are the other two going backward to cover him? But of course, Mallory sees gay incest everywhere.


It's definitely about her and her siblings, this piece, with the fundamental message "maybe we'll get together later at our parents' funeral and we'll say some awkward words to each other, but any generosity you exhibit toward me is forever tainted."

She's every bit as fucked up as Joe. Probably always was.

 

[bei_rav]

If you need something to read over the weekend, Tard Baby has published her thoughts in Liberties Journal.

View attachment 5996563

You can take the girl out of the Christian college… remarkably she does not use the word trans once in the article.

A Grade 5 Hebrew school kid has deeper and more interesting insights than these -- it's literally just a superficial recap, with the occasional fuzziness (when she speaks of "children" being held accountable for incest, for example -- we're talking about grownups, not kids). Liberty publishes play-by-plays of the Bible now? The other articles offered do not seem as braindead.

The idea that Noah was getting busy with his son is pretty messed up and not a theory that matches any scholars' interpretations of this passage

Hate to say it but this is not correct (here's one scholarly debate over what flavour of incest took place , the participants seem to be Christians, personally I don't have the stomach to really chase this down.) The other sons cover him up because they're not aware of what happened until Noah wakes up and starts cursing.

Nevertheless, it IS interesting that there are no culture war talking points in the article. Not quite time to bring back the "maybe she's leaving" copium, though, and anyway, between this piece and the inane Bronte remarks, I find I've lost my taste for copium.

 

[Bookwork]

Is this just more pro-Palestinian propaganda meant to make Mohammed look less like a pedo slut?

No, no, no, it's just chunky Mr. Christianity trying to put her family in fear that a fresh onslaught of inventive accusations is in the making.

 

[bei_rav]

Is this just more pro-Palestinian propaganda meant to make Mohammed look less like a pedo slut?

Diff is the Noah story is a cautionary tale not an encouraging one

 

[Bookwork]

Diff is the Noah story is a cautionary tale not an encouraging one

The relevance of one's comment is not clear to one but is nonetheless appreciated.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Here and at other points in this article, Mallory seems to express a displeasure that Biblical passages aren't riveting dialogue-fests made by writers with unlimited access to additional pages to write on. This type of wry "hee hee look how their writing conventions do not match ours" sounded a lot more silly and fun when she was an ingenue but now she just seems uneducated.

It's embarrassing, because it's not like this is some obscure manuscript that hasn't been discussed, elaborated upon, and debated by the entire Western world for thousands of years. Pick your tradition and start digging, everyone has thoughts on filling in the blanks here. Rather than reading and joining the conversation, she's snidely poking fun, expecting everyone to clap like they did for her superficial readings of Austen or whatever.

Honestly Tom Servo gives deeper and more erudite socio-political-historical-theological commentary while riffing Gamera vs Guiron than this chick does in some apparently esteemed academic journal.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

It's embarrassing, because it's not like this is some obscure manuscript that hasn't been discussed, elaborated upon, and debated by the entire Western world for thousands of years. Pick your tradition and start digging, everyone has thoughts on filling in the blanks here. Rather than reading and joining the conversation, she's snidely poking fun, expecting everyone to clap like they did for her superficial readings of Austen or whatever.

Honestly Tom Servo gives deeper and more erudite socio-political-historical-theological commentary while riffing Gamera vs Guiron than this chick does in some apparently esteemed academic journal.

It’s very superficial. I think she’s just a passive aggressive princess and went through some biblical gymnastics and lots of words to tell dear sister to piss off, indirectly, in print. Very high brow you see. Most people would chose direct communication, but not our girl. It’s the Christian lady literary equivalent of “bless your heart.”

The final sentence is the closest she will ever come to directly telling someone to fuck off. “Their peace depends upon the size of the world. It does not exist up close. “

Maybe Laura sent a card or letter when she heard her sister’s husband is having a baby with his girlfriend.

Laura might have had some faint hope that Joe starting a family with another woman might make Mallory wake the fuck up, so some kind gesture or outreach was attempted. Even just a congrats on your husband’s girlfriend’s new baby.

Prediction

Spoiler

I still think it’s going to take 6 to 24 months before the throuple shitshow implodes, or that its implosion is public knowledge. People like this that reproduce, against all common sense, will generally stubbornly stick out the first year just to “prove” some point. Ethan Ralph’s baby mama fled exactly 12 months and 20 days after their baby was born. I totally believe she stuck it out simply because everyone said they wouldn’t make it a full year after the baby arrived.

No idea if the throuple implosion will involve Lilly (& Bobbie Joe) or Mallory leaving Joe. I think we have seen there is no shit Mallory won’t eat for Joe, not sure what Lily will stomach. I think Lilly assumed she could get Mallory to fuck off, but she’s stubbornly stayed put. I’m rooting for Joe to add another woman to the harem, but since they can’t afford four, or even three full bedrooms, in Brooklyn it’s doubtful that will ever happen.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

congrats on your husband’s girlfriend’s new baby.

If Hallmark doesn't carry this one yet, they really should.

 

[Potatis Salad]

Recalling what Joe had to say the last time Lily published an essay:

He'll surely make a post promoting Mallory's essay soon too, won't he?

 

[Dr. Butt]

In Genesis chapter twenty-five verse nine, Isaac and Ishmael bury their father Abraham together, but whether they worked together happily, or begrudgingly, we do not know; whatever they might have said to one another, or even if they spoke at all, is not recorded. They do their duty by him, but no more. Theirs is a polite estrangement, which does not require words to support it.

Normal male behaviour leaves pooner mystified, what a surprise.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Recalling what Joe had to say the last time Lily published an essay:
View attachment 5997513
He'll surely make a post promoting Mallory's essay soon too, won't he?

Maybe now that you’ve mentioned it…