Anna o' Brien / Glitter + Lazers / GlitterandLazers - Fat, drunk, consoomer attention whore who would rather eat and drink herself to death than endure a single negative emotion

[I call shenanigans]

So… is she participating in the casting call? Or is she already a model or paid shill for Torrid?

I have a vague recollection of a video a couple of years ago where she went to a Torrid Warehouse and tried on some of their then new range. It could have been Target though. Rest assured, if she’s shilling for them, she’s getting something out of it.

ETA: She’s definitely been a model for Torrid before. You can see her in their denim ad. Mind you this was in 2016, but it proves they definitely know about her.

https://hellogiggles.com/torrid-denim-ad/

 

[Scoia'tael]

I keep expecting her bottom half to just be a ball:

It isn't?

 

[Barbarella]

Kate Winslet could do a lot with that underwater video…

 

[thejackal2]

So the entirety of her sponsored trip content was like 3-4 short form videos, some IG posts (showing us nothing about the boat and amenities) and now she's moving on? Brands have to see this, right?

 

[OttoWest]

(showing us nothing about the boat and amenities)

We saw that Anna takes up the better part of a 4-6 person hot tub.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

We saw that Anna takes up the better part of a 4-6 person hot tub.

Do you think they drain those after each voyage and manually scrub and sanitize them or are they just like “Chlorine Jesus take the wheel!”

Because Anna cannot fit in a cruise ship cabin’s shower stall. Even in an accessible unit she probably wouldn’t fit. I’m not a fat cripple and I don’t go on cruises so I can’t be sure on the fat cripple stateroom shower situation, so don’t quote me on that. But I would bet money that hot tub beached whale photo shoot was as close as Anna got to an actual bath.

As far as her “100 lbs lost!!!” claim, I do see increased sagging in the “after” picture. Her “before” shows her leg fat looking firmer. I could believe that she lost weight based on the saggy flappy look of her thighs now. Pictures of people who have lost hundreds and hundreds of pounds usually show their actual human form trapped under their deflated, distended fat person skin. That’s the dilemma: lose the weight and hopefully extend your life, but spend it looking like a human-flying squirrel hybrid because you ate yourself into permanent disfigurement.

 

[Haram-Habibi]

Do you think they drain those after each voyage and manually scrub and sanitize them or are they just like “Chlorine Jesus take the wheel!”

IDK what Virgin does, but Royal Caribbean has salt water pools/hot tubs. (Yes, they are possible.). They just pump up water from the big ol' ocean into those water tanks.

I'll do a wild ass guess and say Virgin does the same. After all, Anna was floating rather well in that hot tub, and you float more in salt water than fresh, so....

(Besides, there's less maintenance required for salt water pools/tubs than fresh. They have quick turn around times on cruises, so I don't think they're breaking out the Clorox when they get to port, KWIM? Just pump the old crap out, pump some harbor water in.).

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

View attachment 5992071

Steve Irwin, who actually contributed something of value to humanity and was beloved by millions, was killed by a stingray while snorkeling. Anna, who is easily 500 pounds and the very personification of conspicuous consumption, lumbers obliviously among not only a bunch of stingrays but an actual goddamn shark and lives to tell her vapid tale in the most obnoxious way imaginable.

If anyone needed proof that the universe is an absurd and sometimes cruel place, there you have it.

Spoiler: For the pedants

(Yes, I know that stingrays and sharks almost never kill humans, and I question whether either would be capable of inflicting significant damage on a person with Anna's unfortunate habitus. I would also feel terrible for any poor shark who had the misfortune of getting a piece of Anna in his mouth. Work with me here.)

As far as her “100 lbs lost!!!” claim, I do see increased sagging in the “after” picture. Her “before” shows her leg fat looking firmer. I could believe that she lost weight based on the saggy flappy look of her thighs now.

Yeah, she's clearly lost some weight, as evinced by her newly droopy thighs. I definitely don't believe that she's lost anywhere close to 100 pounds, and she's already begun to re-gain, but I don't think we can pretend that she hasn't lost a few pounds. It doesn't matter - Anna could probably lose the equivalent of the mean weight of the posters in this thread and still be considered obese.

 

[Flourishing Pinecone ❧]

I know that stingrays and sharks almost never kill humans

I did watch that video and think "what does the shark think Anna is?", like I have heard that surfers and divers are possibly mistaken for seals when they are attacked. What would a shark think it is seeing?

 

[often puzzled]

What would a shark think it is seeing?

A fat whale that it wouldn't have sex with.

 

[-Jack-]

What would a shark think it is seeing?

A floating, free all you can eat whale carcass buffet.

 

[brooky]

Steve Irwin, who actually contributed something of value to humanity and was beloved by millions, was killed by a stingray while snorkeling. Anna, who is easily 500 pounds and the very personification of conspicuous consumption, lumbers obliviously among between not only a bunch of stingrays but an actual goddamn shark and lives to tell her vapid tale in the most obnoxious way imaginable.

If anyone needed proof that the universe is an absurd and sometimes cruel place, there you have it.

Spoiler: For the pedants

(Yes, I know that stingrays and sharks almost never kill humans, and I question whether either would be capable of inflicting significant damage on a person with Anna's unfortunate habitus. I would also feel terrible for any poor shark who had the misfortune of getting a piece of Anna in his mouth. Work with me here.)

Yeah, she's clearly lost some weight, as evinced by her newly droopy thighs. I definitely don't believe that she's lost anywhere close to 100 pounds, and she's already begun to re-gain, but I don't think we can pretend that she hasn't lost a few pounds. It doesn't matter - Anna could probably lose the equivalent of the mean weight of the posters in this thread and still be considered obese.

I know these aren't the same kind of sharks but

When sharks attack surfers it's apparently because they mistake the surfboard for seals.

Maybe these sharks literally did not know what they were looking at. Human? Elephant seal? Sack of nuclear waste? Better not risk it.

Oops sorry @Flourishing Pinecone ❧

 

[glass_houses]

I suspect that the shark is a nurse shark; they're extremely chilled out, and you really have to fuck with them pretty heavily before they get jack of it. They have a lot of small teeth, and generally they just leave you with a lot of cuts. If they really want to take a piece out of you they can, but they don't really have much of a taste for mammals.

I'm really jealous tbh; nurse sharks are awesome and I'd love to meet one.

 

[thejackal2]

I suspect that the shark is a nurse shark; they're extremely chilled out, and you really have to fuck with them pretty heavily before they get jack of it. They have a lot of small teeth, and generally they just leave you with a lot of cuts. If they really want to take a piece out of you they can, but they don't really have much of a taste for mammals.

I'm really jealous tbh; nurse sharks are awesome and I'd love to meet one.

Rays are also quite docile but after reading some more about Irwin's death I'm just trying to imagine how the fuck they would try and move Anna's body if she got stung and needed serious and quick medical attention. She would need 4-6 strong guys at least to hoist her into the boat and even then might not be possible. Terrifying shit really.

 

[Narwhal]

I was so enraptured by her humongous size in that video that I didn't even notice the rays... I don't know if it says more about my level of retardation or about her gargantuan body

 

[tj0p00tert00t]

I was so enraptured by her humongous size in that video that I didn't even notice the rays... I don't know if it says more about my level of retardation or about her gargantuan body

I'm with you. I can't believe she got those wayyyyyy-too-small bottoms on. That had to be hellishly uncomfortable.

I'm sure her feeder followers are all over this video.

 

[whogoesthere]

Steve Irwin, who actually contributed something of value to humanity and was beloved by millions, was killed by a stingray while snorkeling. Anna, who is easily 500 pounds and the very personification of conspicuous consumption, lumbers obliviously among not only a bunch of stingrays but an actual goddamn shark and lives to tell her vapid tale in the most obnoxious way imaginable.

Steve died in a badass way, befitting of a great man. Anna is unworthy, so she must continue her hellish existence with no hope of an early exit.

 

[OttoWest]

Nearly touching ground. Congrats Anna you’ve outfatted a hammock:

 

[DefCon Dumb]

At least Jon has some level of self awareness.

I can’t be the only one irrationally annoyed by her saying variations of: “if my body shows up for me”.

Her body is hostage to her greed.

If it stops showing up for her, she’s dead.

 

[Even more 8008135]

"Can you believe he thinks he's bad at photography?"

Yes, and that single glimpse of self awareness would be more than Anna has shown in her entire, bloated-tick life.