Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Prokhor Zakharov]

Neo Nazis have the inevitable Race War, Communists have the inevitable Revolution, Fundie Christians have the inevitable rapture, Fundie Muslims have the inevitable Day of Judgement, Fundie Jews have the inevitable April 15th, Fundie Third Worldists have the rise of the Multipolar World Order...all of which are endlessly prophesized with absolute certainty as some rapidly approaching time of cosmic trials and tribulations which will inevitably result in all their enemies being wiped out forever and they themselves standing triumphant over existence.

I would include Nuclear Physicists and Fusion that is always just 20 years away.

 

[Maude Snew]

I can't believe it this is like the time someone stole his nose right from his face when he was an ugly child.

 

[Septic Tank Bomber]

Some Kiwifarmer was out for a ride today. Damn nice day for it. By the way, has anyone posted about a Good Samaritan returning a certain pair of beloved chairs to a certain Milwaukee back garden yet? Cause if not…







it was all a work


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P.S. fuck you Pat.

Fake author, fake vandalism, fake swatting, now fake chair stealing? I know you're fat and low Fatrick but not this low.

 

[Well Intentioned]

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The marks on the upper portion is certainly a match. I'm going to assume he made all of this shit up, someone might have put up an advertisement but they were never stolen.
Unfortunately the location of the chairs did seem to change. He can still claim they were returned, stalker child.

The original CL ad featuring the Rustang is pretty suspicious, in my mind.

Middle of the day shot, angled that is CLEARLY in his backyard, Pat presumably at home due to the car being there, and no video footage that he was all too happy to share before?

C'mon, unless this was a pic he took showing it off that was repurposed.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

And now he's trying his most desperate ploy yet, distracting the detractors from the Adirondack deception by posting unimaginably stupid political takes. He must feel like he's on the ropes to resort to this. Or it's just a day that ends in -y.
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Notice that Jennifer does not allow for that Gore would have lost yet another recount as has been known for nearly 25 years. Nadar voter Rick has more faith that Gore could have pulled it off than Gore did at the time which is why he didn't go back to Florida to fight on after the Supreme Court ruling.

That's not even getting into asking how the team who did nothing about the USS Cole would have prevented some dudes who had been in the country for like a year already from getting some plane tickets in a few months.

 

[Prokhor Zakharov]

What's interesting is that he says he has the plate, as you'd suspect given the camera and angles, and says he's filed a report, but implies he hasn't given the MPD the plate number and threatens to do so unless his poorly cobbled together art projects are returned. He even names the make and model in what I assume is an attempt to intimidate. It's just so fucking weird. Explain it to the cops, give them the info, get your chairs back, and let them sort it out. Piggy just never does anything the logical way. I guarentee he wants to explain to whoever took the chairs about his stlakers.

He apparently didn't get the plate, he said registration number. With the shit resolution on that camera I highly doubt he could read any registration.

 

[OtherLastTrainHome]

no, stalker, there was never a craigslist ad to begin with, as my pinned thread clearly states. enjoy prison.

 

[Summer of George]

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The marks on the upper portion is certainly a match. I'm going to assume he made all of this shit up, someone might have put up an advertisement but they were never stolen.
Unfortunately the location of the chairs did seem to change. He can still claim they were returned, stalker child.

I've been mostly staying out of the discussion, but if we're gonna go all forensic files an sheeyit, it must be noted that the current position of the chairs is the same as in:
- the airbnb photos
- the tweet where Fat was eating a couple slices of bread for breakfast (April 14, 2024)

The side-by-side glamour shot he put on the Craiglist post is pretty old, probably from June 2023. (this tweet has the same photo from another angle)

By the way, the cry-for-help CL ad is still up. archive

Some of the funsters have been saying that the chairs look darker in the new photos, like they got a new coat of stain. I actually agree with that. IIRC somebody quipped that the "thieves" indeed took the chairs, only to bring them back in nicer condition than before.

 

[Procrastinhater]

I FUCKING KNEW IT. Whoever doubted it was gayops needs to go eat some fresh pepperoni right now.

Called it.
Was too convenient how he immediately knew to go search Craigslist.

 

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

It appears a mischievous redditor has deceived Milwaukee's roundest boy again (found on owen)

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blessed St. Laker,Patron saint of fat psuedes and missing chairs

 

[John_Smith]

A friendly reminder that the steak in Piggy's tweet was cooked to an internal temperature of at least 165 F. Of course it looks like shit. It'll taste the same way. The Burnt Wellington was no accident. Piggy only eats beef well done.

If This was Piggy's gayop then it was profoundly stupid -- well duh-- but not for the obvious reasons. It will give his, shall we call them detractors an interesting idea for fucking with him.

By detractors I mean the people he pisses off on the social media. The ones who may have swatted him, if he did not do it himself.

 

[Procrastinhater]

He's responded to multiple people mentioning the chairs still being there, and refuses to even broach the subject, just dismissing them with the stock "enjoy prison" mantra.

Yeah because he's caught.
Thats his go to when he gets caught being full of shit, he won't address it, he just reverts to his Enjoy Prison shit.
At least we got a couple new Patisms out of this, Ymunkoke your future, and Enjoy many, many, years in prison.

 

[Judge Holden]

Woke up, got out of bed, dragged the comb cross mah bawld head.....checked xitter and saw a funni xeet

Rolled on over to the farms and saw the hubbub over this all being seemingly confirmed gayops

Smiled, giggled like a retard, whacked off for a few minutes, and then went to eat breakfast

Life is good

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Number of people who have enjoyed prison because of Pat's efforts: 0
Number of people who constantly mock Pat every day: ∞

He should write a story about this very fun ratio.

I never said he was legitimately imprisoning people. It's just the way he copes on X. I bet when he was in school he was always threatening to tell the principle on the students who "bullied" him (that is telling him no). He's not in a state with school shootings back than so I doubt there was police officers at his schools to tell on.

I admit, I'm impressed. You think Hamlinson would be tapped out after the whole Josiah 5 thing or live SWAT video or even the lolsuit against the MPD. Oh no, now we have the Mystery of the Adirondack Chairs arc.

Truly, I kneel.

At this rate if Patrick doesn't win Lolcow of the year it just proves that voting is a scam.

Here he posts about dining on... something that resembles the roasted remains of his pet lizard. Some kind of flex? A dark ritual to bring misfortune upon his enemies? Who knows?
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Enjoying a steak in solidarity I'm guessing?

https://www.local10.com/news/local/2024/05/17/wi-steakhouse-owner-once-convicted-of-child-sex-crime-arrested-again-this-time-in-broward/

You know, given the people he's still friends with.
It looks burnt as fuck too. May as well just cremate it at this point. You've done enough damage.

 

[rel=alternate]

Some Kiwifarmer was out for a ride today. Damn nice day for it. By the way, has anyone posted about a Good Samaritan returning a certain pair of beloved chairs to a certain Milwaukee back garden yet? Cause if not…







it was all a work


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P.S. fuck you Pat.

Good thing the pic is blurry.

One thing we learned from past peoples' mistake is that you definitely should not take pictures of your hands. It's possible to pull prints from it if the quality is good enough.

 

[Thumb Butler]

Pat should be a side character in a sitcom. He's the perfect neurotic, insane neighbor to create shenanigans. There could be a running gag where once an episode the main character walks down the street, waves hello, and is met with a smile and an "enjoy prison, stalker!" The cast could be having lunch outside in the park and talking about whatever, and in the distance you see Pat pick up a small black child and start sprinting.
Pat stealing his own chairs and reporting it to the police could be the plot of an entire episode.

The episode would end with Pat sitting outside in one of the chairs eating and going "enjoy a slice of freshly made pepperoni pizza, stalker child?".

 

[Divine right to rule]

Man, the road to prison sure has many twists.

 

[DYLAN ‘DIELAWN’ VOLK]

Rick lies like he eats. Poorly, and all the time.

 

[Oliver Onions]

If it were anyone else, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt, but this is a habitual liar that spends his entire "life" on twitter, and there hasn't been a PEEP from him about them being returned.

Purely to play devil's advocate, you could argue he didn't announce their being returned for fear they'd be stolen again. This is Pat, though, so I have absolutely no issue believing he faked the whole thing.

I always thought it was kind of sus, because I don't think I've ever seen a Craigslist ad that's like 'yeah just lift that shit straight out of my yard don't even tell me you're there'. Even if I was collecting something for free I'd still knock on their door and let them know I'd arrived and I was taking the chairs.

 

[Golden Boy]

Judging by the earlier messages between him and people pretending to have his chairs, I bet this was a ploy not only to get sympathy but also some dox information from stalkers that share too much. The pests already have weird trannies that sext people in the patverse so it’s not far off that he could go fishing like this. It’s ops upon ops.