Opinion You Deserve to Have a Garfield Summer

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You Deserve to Have a Garfield Summer​

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In what feels like a flash, the first half of the year is almost gone, and summer is rapidly approaching. With that comes a lot of things: warm temperatures, short sleeves, and this year, the arrival of The Garfield Movie, an animated celebration of the original grumpy cat. And while I have no intention of schlepping to a theater to see Chris Pratt voice everyone’s favorite orange cat, the occasion has led me to reconsider my summer goals.

Garfield and I have a lot in common. We are both irritable, chubby, and hate Mondays. I deeply respect his simple ethos: Eat as much lasagna as you can, torment your enemies, and take plenty of naps. “All I do is eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. Eat and sleep,” Garfield says. “There must be more to a cat’s life than that. But I hope not.”

This is a vibe I can really get behind. And so, while many may be envisioning their Hot Girl Summer, I am preparing to live my life like Garfield for the next three months. Instead of worrying about my “beach body,” I plan to lie around under a blanket, inhaling lasagna.

And so should you. A Garfield summer is superior to any other summer aesthetic, in that it doesn’t ask much of you at all. It doesn’t insist that you do a bunch of exercise (like a healthy girl summer) or spend a ton of time outdoors. The Garfield summer only demands that you rest and indulge your cravings — lasagna or otherwise. If you want to live out your own Garfield summer, here’s exactly how to do it in three easy steps:

Eat lasagna​

As any true fan knows, Garfield loves few things more than he loves lasagna, which he describes as “nature’s most perfect food.” The cat is a lasagna innovator, sandwiching it between two slices of pizza in one iconic comic and regularly diving face-first into pans of the saucy stuff in others. Lasagna is a key component of any proper Garfield Summer, and you’re going to need lots of it. Whether you’re talking about the frozen Stouffer’s lasagna, a classic, or an elaborate homemade recipe, really any lasagna will do. Once you have procured your lasagna, find a comfy beach lounger in the sunshine (or shade, if that’s what you prefer) and prepare to feast.

Take naps​

Garfield loves sleep almost as much as he loves a lasagna. He regularly experiences “nap attacks,” the sleepytime equivalent of a panic attack, and so should you this summer. Stuck in a boring meeting? Nap attack. Tired of listening to your friend talk about their annoying boyfriend? Nap attack. And if anyone dares question your commitment to sleep this summer, just remind them that you, like a cat, need between 12 and 16 hours of sleep every single day. And summer is actually the best time to get the sleep that you’ve been missing out on all year long, if only because it’s too hot to go outside and do anything else.

(Lightly) torment your enemies​

In between naps, this summer is a great time to focus on making your enemies’ lives miserable. You have a little more free time, perhaps, and your enemies have likely let their guard down as they prepare for a season of pool parties. Garfield has Odie and long-suffering mailman Herman Post, but you might have an unpleasant neighbor, and you could do everything in your power to get on their nerves. And while you may not (legally) be allowed to scratch and claw them, you can definitely play “Party In The U.S.A.” on an indefinite loop at high volumes, or put up the most delightfully obnoxious lawn decor. Garfield would approve.
 
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JambledUpWords said:

(Lightly) torment your enemies​

In between naps, this summer is a great time to focus on making your enemies’ lives miserable. You have a little more free time, perhaps, and your enemies have likely let their guard down as they prepare for a season of pool parties. Garfield has Odie and long-suffering mailman Herman Post, but you might have an unpleasant neighbor, and you could do everything in your power to get on their nerves. And while you may not (legally) be allowed to scratch and claw them, you can definitely play “Party In The U.S.A.” on an indefinite loop at high volumes, or put up the most delightfully obnoxious lawn decor. Garfield would approve.
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I, Meat Target, Chief Meateorologist of the Autistic Thunderdome, do hereby approve this message.
 
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Yet more ramblings from a trust fund brat who's never worked a day in their life and works a joke job that barely pays while having mommy and daddy paying her rent and utilities and groceries and funding her never ending summer vacation from adulting.

Most people are going to be stuck working bullshit jobs non-stop this summer, with ZERO vacation time off and will probably end up having to work while deathly ill because their shit job doesn't allow for sick days (paid or unpaid) if not also punitively punishes employees who miss for being sick by yanking them from the work schedule for weeks on end to remind them that they have to work their bullshit McJob even while deathly ill and dying on the clock is perfectly fine for corporate given that they don't see their worker drones as actual people.
 
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