Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Tragon Dirtle]

Lurking this thread, it's turned out to be more helpful and genuine than I expected. Could anyone tell me how women with BPD feel and act? I know they're joked about often but my PL is that I've dealt with family members and people in general who are mentally ill often and I'd like a better understanding. And hypothetically, there might be a BPD girl I like.

BPD is a spectrum and it makes a huge difference whether she's a mild or severe case because a severe case is going to have a lot of overlap with narcissism but mild is manageable.

Basically, if they like you you are the best person ever and they want to be exactly like you (the Favourite Person), to the point of copying your interests and personality. Again it's a spectrum but they will mirror you to some extent. And this is also coming from a position that they're the inferior person which can be a lot to deal with, they have low self esteem. However they will either move on when they get bored or meet a new Favourite Person. Or invest in 'their' personality that they decide that they're better at it than you. Either way, it's probably inevitable that they will Split on you - that instead of being the best person ever you're the worst person ever, and this can get nasty because if you're the worst now that means they're suddenly the best and have the authority to punish you. Splitting is where BPD overlaps with narcissism, it's essentially narcissistic rage. It's because in that state of mind they can't imagine that whatever you've 'done wrong' wasn't done to hurt them personally, because you're so great, so how could you accidentally hurt them like that?? of course you'd know better and be doing it deliberately.

If they're managing their condition they'll actively try and combat these behaviours, but most aren't, as most people don't inherently know they've got a disorder. The thing with splitting is the first period without it will be the longest, after that it becomes more and more frequent because they can never fully put you back on the pedestal you were on before.

It's a lot easier to be a friend to a BPD person (not a best friend or someone in the favourite person category) than it is to be romantically involved because the intimacy and shared interests trigger the hell out of their condition. How do you have a partner and a real dedicated relationship without that person being your Favourite Person? So a lot of treatment programs actually require BPD people to stay single. BPD does get less intense over time though.

 

[Mayor Cody Travers]

@I_Lurk_Here, listen to @Tragon Dirtle BIG TIME.

Spoiler: Debated posting this, but PL time.

As any who visit the "How Are You Doing?" thread over on General know, I'm a dude who fell ridiculously hard for a girl with BPD and they eventually did "The Split" (great term) on me. The troubles started after leaving me hanging with barely any contact for months upon months, as I stayed loyal despite it messing up my psyche worrying madly for her out of love n' loyalty and that she "got it" when it came to awful family/friend situations we both suffered from... she finally returned to regular contact after so long only to dump me and it turns out moved cross-country for someone else. Without knowing every detail like that at the time I sadly accepted the breakup, still in too deep for her, thinking maybe it was just how life rolled for now, yanno? Only to learn of that someone else offhandedly, hurtful things like "she was never as big into the relationship like you were" (could've told me that and break-up before going all but AFK for ages?), her making all sorts of loving proclamations of me being "her best friend" and deeply caring on me while de-facto actions then and more recent clearly didn't respect me, and the pessimism she grew to despise in me came in large part - not entirely at least, my life's had a lot of bull outside her - from those very actions versus words. Near the end of it all, that went hand-in-hand with her suddenly deciding to be my "life coach" except it led false accusations or lies on me not doing enough or doing (X) as she demanded (even when I was already doing and/or working to what she wanted for my own sake), and thus only made my psyche worse. She eventually stated to have enough of my misery and cut off contact everywhere, in spite of never once really sitting back and realizing or apologizing on all the hurt she caused me.

It's been a bit over two months since being cut off contact from her and it's telling as terribly painful as it is, and I truly want a reconciliation with the person I once knew her as.... I've begun to flourish again in attitude, psyche, and actions because she's no longer a shadow in my life. Friends like talking to me again, I have a good job I enjoy once more, making it a point to find some good hobbies, and getting resources set up to help my psyche keep the current positivity for good. And yet as someone with a LOT of people and clinginess issues myself, I don't want you to get that "oneitis" for her (like I had), or her for you and then decide you're Terrible, and thus wreck you. No dude deserves a BPD Bitch in their lives. Stay careful, man.

 

[Derrick]

For those of you who have been pregnant before, my wife is 21 weeks along and starting to deal with pretty bad swollen feet (first child btw if that makes a difference). For those of who you have dealt with this before what solutions did you have?

 

[I_Lurk_Here]

BPD is a spectrum and it makes a huge difference whether she's a mild or severe case because a severe case is going to have a lot of overlap with narcissism but mild is manageable.

Is being depressive a symptom or unrelated?

 

[Tragon Dirtle]

Is being depressive a symptom or unrelated?

Yeah. They basically experience a low grade depression all the time and finding a FP takes them out of it / lets them forget about it, it's why they fixate so hard.

I truly want a reconciliation with the person I once knew her as

You sound like you've got it under control, just keep reminding yourself that that was a persona reflecting the best qualities of you back to yourself and lovebombing you to draw you in. It's not maliciously intended but it's still a sham. It's 'I want this person to feel about me the way I feel about them', not who they actually are.

 

[isalaide]

For those of you who have been pregnant before, my wife is 21 weeks along and starting to deal with pretty bad swollen feet (first child btw if that makes a difference). For those of who you have dealt with this before what solutions did you have?

She should call into her doctor and ideally see them. Some swelling is normal but excessive swelling can be a sign that her blood pressure isn't okay.

 

[Justa Grata Honoria]

For those of you who have been pregnant before, my wife is 21 weeks along and starting to deal with pretty bad swollen feet (first child btw if that makes a difference). For those of who you have dealt with this before what solutions did you have?

Compression socks and pantyhose, proper shoes and not much . She can't use painkillers because baby . Its normal bro I ended all swollen at 16 weeks . Oh and make sure she does the regular check ups . Usually they check blood pressure and all that jazz there .

Check out acupuncture and some massage therapist plus physiotherapy might help with the pain and make sure there is enough circulation.

Congratulations btw

 

[سلیمان عثمان]

Given a few days of self-reflection I have decided that sitting around moping is really fucking gay and cringe.
I like posting retarded pictures here and will continue to do so even though I have had stupid meltie and acted like a raging faggot.
I solemnly vow to behave my self from now on.

Spoiler: Gay mass reply

Honestly, I am really grateful to all of you for taking the time to reply. I hope tagging all of you is not too annoying.

I don’t want to add too much fuel to fire but that guy is a real piece of shit.

Thanks, you are one of the top shit-posters on here and I always like to see a fellow Carl appreciator. Sorry that your mother went through a similar situation, good thing she has you though.

Hurry back, we'll miss you

Can not imagine why but thanks. Means a lot since you are one of my favorite posters here, you have made some good threads that I like to lurk and make nearly exclusively contributory / informative posts.

get to know yourself again or for the first time (or first time in a long time), and start arrangimg your life and priorities according to you

Every thing you wrote was pretty helpful but this kind of stuck out for me. Kind of odd how much of my life was organized around trying to please and under-stand my (I guess ex?) husband.
I admire your quixotic quest to be the voice of reason in the trenches of the Sex Wars, can not be easy.

Frankly, the church was a cult and burning those bridges was the better outcome

If they were making a bad situation even worse for her? Yeah, fuck em, good thing she left. Important as it has been to me over the years, they are on pretty thin ice because of the pedo-guarding and other crimes. People left because they fucked up, far as I am concerned that is on the church not the people they drove away. Glad to hear things got better for your mother after she left.

 

[Shidoen]

Hey if you need to act crazy to relax or relax to be crazy you're on the perfect website for it. Just hope and pray you'll be doing good and staying healthy. Even one shitposter lost is a couple less masterpieces in the gallery.

 

[3deadniggers]

Why is so much women focused stuff intentionally disgusting? There was a tampax advertisement on TV just now and it's discussing how heavy it was. It was gross and they've adapted it to different regions with different gross women comedians in it. Who is asking for this kind of material and who is buying because of it?

 

[isalaide]

Why is so much women focused stuff intentionally disgusting? There was a tampax advertisement on TV just now and it's discussing how heavy it was. It was gross and they've adapted it to different regions with different gross women comedians in it. Who is asking for this kind of material and who is buying because of it?

A surprising and disappointing number of women don't know that for comfort and safety (TSS risk), they should be using different absorbencies depending on their flow, and just bang in the same packet for five or seven days in a row, regardless of discomfort. You should always be using the lowest absorbency that you don't leak at, or alternatively the four hour test. If you are saturating a tampon in four hours or less, the absorbency is too low and you need to move up.

An awful lot of women think the 'size' descriptor on the pack (Super, Super Max etc) is some kind of bizarre attempt to size their vagina. Even though if you thought about this for ten seconds together, it obviously couldn't be true - how the fuck can you measure the size of your vagina - the idea has proven sticky. So people who have a heavy flow and actually need to be using Super Max for security and effectiveness, are insisting on using Mediums and then complaining they get leakage.

So Tampax have been running campaigns for a while now attempting to educate people on when to use different absorbencies. It's a pretty good campaign.

As for your disgust response to menstruation, I can't help you with that one.

 

[Shidoen]

A surprising and disappointing number of women don't know that for comfort and safety (TSS risk), they should be using different absorbencies depending on their flow, and just bang in the same packet for five or seven days in a row, regardless of discomfort. You should always be using the lowest absorbency that you don't leak at, or alternatively the four hour test. If you are saturating a tampon in four hours or less, the absorbency is too low and you need to move up.

An awful lot of women think the 'size' descriptor on the pack (Super, Super Max etc) is some kind of bizarre attempt to size their vagina. Even though if you thought about this for ten seconds together, it obviously couldn't be true - how the fuck can you measure the size of your vagina - the idea has proven sticky. So people who have a heavy flow and actually need to be using Super Max for security and effectiveness, are insisting on using Mediums and then complaining they get leakage.

So Tampax have been running campaigns for a while now attempting to educate people on when to use different absorbencies. It's a pretty good campaign.

As for your disgust response to menstruation, I can't help you with that one.

So I don’t need to ask babe what size pussy she has? Wow Thanks Tampax!

 

[isalaide]

So I don’t need to ask babe what size pussy she has? Wow Thanks Tampax!

You can if you want, but I suggest you duck immediately.

 

[Shidoen]

You can if you want, but I suggest you duck immediately.

Can’t, I usually hook up with the low blows.

 

[3deadniggers]

As for your disgust response to menstruation, I can't help you with that one.

I understand how periods and tampons work. But there's a time and a place to discuss it and making vulgar jokes is not appealing to any one. So why is it marketed this way was my question. The same way female comedians are all disgusting.

Periods are disgusting. Nothing will change that.

 

[isalaide]

I understand how periods and tampons work. But there's a time and a place to discuss it and making vulgar jokes is not appealing to any one. So why is it marketed this way was my question. The same way female comedians are all disgusting.

Periods are disgusting. Nothing will change that.

It's marketed at times and via channels when women between about eight and fifty five years old are likely to see it. I'm not entirely sure what your underlying question is here, when you say "why is it marketed this way". Are you talking about the content, or the channels used?

If the overall complaint is "periods are disgusting" and you don't want to hear or see them referred to anywhere at any time, I don't have any helpful suggestions for you. Half the species menstruates, so the topic comes up pretty often.

 

[umami's milk]

Periods are disgusting. Nothing will change that.

Sure, but not more or less disgusting than having to buy diapers for a newborn or toilet paper for the family. Don't be such a child and you'll be fine.

 

[Taxidermied Rat]

But there's a time and a place to discuss it and making vulgar jokes is not appealing to any one. So why is it marketed this way was my question. The same way female comedians are all disgusting.

I don't understand what was vulgar about those ads. I agree that Schumer's(I don't know who the other lady is) jokes are generally crude, but there aren't any examples here. I can understand being grossed out about periods as a topic in general, but these ads weren't that offensive imho. It's probably about as disgusting as diuretic or Viagra commercial.

Out of curiosity are you grossed out by other commercials, such as diuretics? Or is it just menstrual ads that get your goat?


This may not be the spot for it, but to any men who happen to peruse this thread, do you find periods gross as a topic? Is it grosser to you than defecation or other bodily waste? If so why?

 

[Shidoen]

This may not be the spot for it, but to any men who happen to peruse this thread, do you find periods gross as a topic? Is it grosser to you than defecation or other bodily waste? If so why?

Not really just a normal bodily function. I guess it's gross when you say why you're going to the bathroom such as "I NEED TO PISS" OR "I NEED TO SHIT", instead it's "I NEED TO BLEED". I don't see the need to have an in-depth conversation about what goes on in the bathroom though.

 

[3deadniggers]

Sure, but not more or less disgusting than having to buy diapers for a newborn or toilet paper for the family. Don't be such a child and you'll be fine.

Diapers aren't sold on comparing a river of shit to what comes out of you. Which is what this advertisement is doing.

This may not be the spot for it, but to any men who happen to peruse this thread, do you find periods gross as a topic? Is it grosser to you than defecation or other bodily waste? If so why?

It's not about how gross it is. It's about keeping some respectability.

This advertisement is more disgusting than the tampon one. It doesn't show anything graphic but the attitude of the people involved is disgusting. Periods can be gross, they can be an annoyance, but they can be dealt with without being vulgar about it. These advertisements lack common decency