Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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He really does nail the pirate look
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Al Dente Alighieri said:
No. Some bipolar guy tricked Cobra into believing he was rich and he was making a cartoon, he strung him along for months filling his head with delusions of grandeur. Turns out he was just some ex-ED moderator that was ousted for having child porn who eventually grew up to date a minor porn star that likes to piss on him in public for money.
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100 times worse than I thought. Checks out.

Sicko Hunter said:
He really does nail the pirate look
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He just needs to lathe himself a peg leg
 
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If Cobes leans into the bog pirate look, it'll make the railroad bell he couldn't buy fit him that much better. He'd just have to rig up a rope to the clapper(a monumental task for The Boy) and he could ring it whenever he wanted.
 
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Lei Wulong's Left Leg said:
If Cobes leans into the bog pirate look, it'll make the railroad bell he couldn't buy fit him that much better. He'd just have to rig up a rope to the clapper(a monumental task for The Boy) and he could ring it whenever he wanted.
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Ah man don’t remind me of the railroad bell. We were fucking ROBBED. Imagine his current setup with the bell on a pedestal next to the dog chair
 
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Sicko Hunter said:
We actually do know what kind of porn Cobes watches because he has an Xvideos account which uses a real photo of himself and it's basically all lesbian girl on girl stuff. Women making out and having sex with each other stuff like that. Nothing super extreme and nothing really creepy (I mean it's creepy but it's not sicko shit)
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Here is the link to his favorites in case you want to know what he jerks off to NSFW obviously https://www.xvideos.com/profiles/kingcobra666420
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The username is the absolute best. I forgot about it. It’s so spot on for Josh. He seems like the type of dude to leave comments on the vids too. It’s a special type of porn viewer that leaves comments.
 
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Al Dente Alighieri said:
These two people being what they are and together already sets a shelf life on the relationship.

- Jessica is an emotionally unstable alcoholic who seeks validation desperately on an almost 24/7 basis and will manipulate everyone around her to get it through sex, sympathy baiting or suicide baiting.

- Josh is a self-involved delusional alcoholic man who doesn't give a fuck about giving or receiving validation, cannot be cajoled, persuaded or reasoned with and has an understanding of relationships that comes from Leave It To Beaver.

What she wants, Josh will never give her. What Josh wants, Jessica can never give him. You need to make concessions on how your lives work if you share one, you have to be calm and reasonable about it. It's absolutely necessary for any relationship to work beyond 3 months and neither of them are reasonable people in their own ways. The fact that they live states apart is the only thing that's keeping them together right now, if they lived together this relationship would be over in like 3 weeks tops and it would end with Jessica leaving in a cop car. I hope they start living together if only to achieve that result.
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Accelerationalism is the way to set off revolutions... and end boglatiinships. I too wish they were over(for cobeson's sake).

I just don't know if Josh OR his situation would survive Jessica being doordashed again. I digress. Last time almost ended him. She needs another closer utoob celery to leach clout off of.

Perhaps a very public catfishing that made Cobes out to be a cuck would work except it would be sad to see our turboautismo cowboy from hell get his feelings hurt while smelling good.

That's the thing of it toobz, I can't stunt, the pig pheromone soap works too good(especially on sows like aNAL).

I'd say doordash annacondasin(alive, non-related, human, cisgendered, consenting) but our little guy hates sickos. He doesn't fuck sickos. Fuck sickos.

If aNAL hasn't cheated on him yet it's simply because she's disgusting and hasn't run across someone blind, retarded, and desperate recently.
 
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fuckthepopulation said:
At least that won't last long. She can't control herself. I give it maybe two weeks before she's right back to being banned again.
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She’s so annoying. Cobes is at least cringe, but manages to actually be funny. NAL needs to stay in obscurity. She has the demeanor of a squealing pig, but the dullness of a robocall answering system. Even when it’s her being dramatic, she lacks Cobes’s charisma and thinks yelling loudly in and of itself is entertaining. By far my least favorite cast member in this season. I know Cobes doesn’t have a high chance of obtaining a girlfriend, but even I think he could do slightly better than NAL. At the very least, someone that balances him out a bit, and can at least have the ability to make Cobes go on a weird rant is preferable.
 
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fuckthepopulation said:
At least that won't last long. She can't control herself. I give it maybe two weeks before she's right back to being banned again.
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Yea cobes has the foresight to atleast not fuck up within the grace period after a temp ban so his channel doesn't go for good. NaL 100% gonna go live tonight. Gives us the methixan wave and start ranting at every comment like it's an insult
 
UncommonParlence said:
I'd say doordash annacondasin(alive, non-related, human, cisgendered, consenting) but our little guy hates sickos. He doesn't fuck sickos. Fuck sickos.
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Anna's list of acceptable sexual partners is the literal opposite of Cobra. The only thing they have in common is they're freak magnets and both have involvement in MGTOW. She's fucked kids, animals, wants to do her father, unalived things and consent is optional in all cases. She started out as funny dog fucker and got dark fast.

If NAL is doordashed to Cobra again he's going to have prostitutes knocking on his door/windows to make her angry. Trolls find some methed up troon and tell them to bang on the windows if the door isn't answered and call for Jaushie.
 
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