Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[SteveGoatman]

Jesus fucking Christ, you weren't kidding about the butter. The next stroke might be coming sooner than I expected at this rate.

At first I thought people were humorously exaggerating how much butter was involved...and then I saw the picture...Jesus...H....Christ. There's no way they served that much butter to him without him asking for MOAR and MOAR. How do you eat like that, film it/post it, and not think people are going to say something??

 

[Bassomatic]

At first I thought people were humorously exaggerating how much butter was involved...and then I saw the picture...Jesus...H....Christ. There's no way they served that much butter to him without him asking for MOAR and MOAR. How do you eat like that, film it/post it, and not think people are going to say something??

Honestly it's a mix of Jack being a child, retarded and a glutton.
He got caught eating the mashed, flat out.
He did this because it's KEEEETOOOOO
And this was clearly butter. So he owned those haters. Like a kid would stuffing broccoli down their gullet just to "anger" their parents for not cleaning the plate.

Jack I'm so owned. I haven't even had one stroke. I'm practically a loser atheist Democrat! Fuck Jack 5 (strokes) bassomatic 0.

Guys I'm owned.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Salt and pepper are the bare minimum for a good steak. Meanwhile, Jack ordered a dish of butter with a side of steak and mashed potatoes.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

In an effort to convince us it really was butter and not mashed potatoes in the previous Steak Wars video, Jack has Tammy slather a half pound of butter on his porterhouse before taking a bite (then pretends not to have guzzled the baked beans side).

A little bit of butter on a steak to finish it off is fine especially if it's a compound butter like a Cafe de Paris or even a simple herb and garlic butter. But just adding an entire pot of butter onto the steak is so fucked up.

The worst part is other than the amount of saturated fat? The steak was cold and that butter wasn't melting.

 

[p1138]

A little bit of butter on a steak to finish it off is fine especially if it's a compound butter like a Cafe de Paris or even a simple herb and garlic butter. But just adding an entire pot of butter onto the steak is so fucked up.

The worst part is other than the amount of saturated fat? The steak was cold and that butter wasn't melting.

It seems like Tammy ate at least part of her salad before cutting up steak for Fatty. He's gotten angy and snapped at her before about getting to eat before he does so she might have actually told him to shut up at some point in the past few months.

 

[ZipDisk]

Did Tammy immediately pull into a fast food joint after eating at a restaurant to get food for him to eat on the way home?

Jack on the go being a double booking with a second food place has been a longstanding rumor of the Jack-verse.

I think once they filmed both? Jack and Tammy were wearing the same shit, but the videos were not consecutive.

 

[p1138]

Jack on the go being a double booking with a second food place has been a longstanding rumor of the Jack-verse.

I think once they filmed both? Jack and Tammy were wearing the same shit, but the videos were not consecutive.

Well, it would mean he got to eat before he eats.

 

[Marc]

When I watch earnest horrorcows such as KingCobraJFS, Kay, or Masaokis concoct and sample culinary abominations, my response is to shake my head and laugh; because they're genuinely unaware of how digusting they and their food must seem to their audience, and the video is a natural byproduct of that obliviousness.

Jack eating that plate of cold butter mashed into a steak - ostensibly for the sake of some severely brain-damaged attempt at pwning his own audience in retribution for their noticing he had obviously eaten mashed potatoes in a previous video - summoned only profound disgust in me. If only there was an active volcano for that silly putty gargoyle to drive his scooter into - His toilet falling through the floor may be the most vindicating end we can reasonably hope for.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Holy fuck, this man is putting the equal volume of butter on his steak.

View attachment 6034604
This is like a parody diet. Jack is a cartoon character. He clearly has the congealed group and fats & sweets completely covered.

Keep in mind this guy called out someone on facebook for asking for A1 sauce for his steak.

 

[Aunt Carol]

His toilet falling through the floor may be the most vindicating end we can reasonably hope for.

It is not possible to overestimate how many men Jack's age choke on steak.

You'd think that's a cliché from a cartoon, but there's something about the 50-something esophagus, the financial means to buy big chunks of meat and/or and the greed that makes them bolt their steak, barely chewing. Booze doesn't help.

It's not always choking, either. If Jack ever seems fine but bitches about going to the hospital/having an operation, and is really coy about why, it'll mean he had an esophageal food impaction. Usually they present late at night after they tried to boa constrictor a steak, then spent several hours in denial/hope that it would pass into the stomach on its own. A couple of hours after midnight, it's time to wake up the gastroenterologist on call.

They even call it "Steakhouse Syndrome." Sometimes it's chicken, though. Breaded fast food chicken is kind of pre-chewed, but the breading works like cement.

 

[Fag Albert]

Holy fuck, this man is putting the equal volume of butter on his steak.

holy shit buddy. i know it's funny to call someone a butter golem. But I think he's genuinely trying to turn himself into one.

 

[semitooth]

It is not possible to overestimate how many men Jack's age choke on steak.

You'd think that's a cliché from a cartoon, but there's something about the 50-something esophagus, the financial means to buy big chunks of meat and/or and the greed that makes them bolt their steak, barely chewing. Booze doesn't help.

It's not always choking, either. If Jack ever seems fine but bitches about going to the hospital/having an operation, and is really coy about why, it'll mean he had an esophageal food impaction. Usually they present late at night after they tried to boa constrictor a steak, then spent several hours in denial/hope that it would pass into the stomach on its own. A couple of hours after midnight, it's time to wake up the gastroenterologist on call.
View attachment 6036297
They even call it "Steakhouse Syndrome." Sometimes it's chicken, though. Breaded fast food chicken is kind of pre-chewed, but the breading works like cement.

this is super interesting thanks for posting. didn't even think of how likely that would be for jack to experience, since there's no way the strokes haven't caused severe damage to his windpipe, since he's collapsed one of his vocal cords already.

 

[TheBiggestGay aka gods #1]

Goddamn he really doesn't give a fuck does he?

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

It is not possible to overestimate how many men Jack's age choke on steak.

You'd think that's a cliché from a cartoon, but there's something about the 50-something esophagus, the financial means to buy big chunks of meat and/or and the greed that makes them bolt their steak, barely chewing. Booze doesn't help.

It's not always choking, either. If Jack ever seems fine but bitches about going to the hospital/having an operation, and is really coy about why, it'll mean he had an esophageal food impaction. Usually they present late at night after they tried to boa constrictor a steak, then spent several hours in denial/hope that it would pass into the stomach on its own. A couple of hours after midnight, it's time to wake up the gastroenterologist on call.
View attachment 6036297
They even call it "Steakhouse Syndrome." Sometimes it's chicken, though. Breaded fast food chicken is kind of pre-chewed, but the breading works like cement.

Okay so this is Tranny's chance to forget about the pillow over Jagoff's face idea. The better Dateline method would be easy: instead of cutting his steaks into manageable bites, simply cut them into quarters ... we know he couldn't help himself, and THAT folks ... would be about it.
And oh the irony ...

 

[Lizard Pope]

Tammy has to have that issue where they spread the suffering. Like those moms who let their kids throw stuff around restaurants because they don't want to deal with it at home.

"With this particular species of crazy, you stop trying to make things better. You start trying to maximize the bad. You pretend to like it. Eventually you start working to make everything as bad as possible." [The Library at Mount Char]

I'd say that applies to TamHam, but she's such a fucking piece of shit herself, it really doesn't.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Goddamn he really doesn't give a fuck does he?

View attachment 6036891

Prosperity gospel adherents are legitimately really, really stupid and gullible, if not grifting. Jesus was pretty adamant about his feelings on the rich and wealth and he certainly wasn't for it

 

[TheBiggestGay aka gods #1]

Prosperity gospel adherents are legitimately really, really stupid and gullible, if not grifting. Jesus was pretty adamant about his feelings on the rich and wealth and he certainly wasn't for it

This is very true, there's how many millionaire televangelists out there that constantly grift gullible boomers in the Bible belt. Fatty Jack is just one of many but the fact his has something as agregious as murder a Sunday school teacher

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Jack eating that plate of cold butter mashed into a steak - ostensibly for the sake of some severely brain-damaged attempt at pwning his own audience in retribution for their noticing he had obviously eaten mashed potatoes in a previous video - summoned only profound disgust in me.

Oh yeah. He got us good. We're so owned looking at him eat a cold steak with half a pound of butter on it. We might as well just pack it up now and leave because we will never live down this for the rest of time.

But yeah. The only thing that came from that was, "my god he's a disgusting blob".

Keep in mind this guy called out someone on facebook for asking for A1 sauce for his steak.

Yeah but that's totally deserved. Stopped clock and all that.

 

[lindsayfan]

that logan's video was quality. lots of great throwaway lines.

"i'm not really a fan of logan's. the one we used to go to wasn't in a good location" -- so you went repeatedly but didn't like it?? why would you go multiple times to a z-tier chain restaurant you didn't like?

then, as others mentioned, i enjoyed jack looking at the clearly labeled photograph of GUMBO and asking "is this gumbo? or jambalaya?"

first of all, even if you're illterate like jack, anyone who knows anything about food should know one is a literal soup and the other is a rice jollof, but then when hammie tells him it's gumbo he snaps back "Sorry, i'm not FROM new orleans..." hilarious

 

[Jack of the Lantern II]

Jack reacts to the Trump verdict.