Stepping away from the community?Tips on leaving/joining the fandom (
self.RealFurryHours)
submitted 1 year ago by
JBoingo
I got involved with the fandom in 2021 by going to MFF with my then-boyfriend and enjoyed my time there.
We both made suits and went to a local con and then AC, where something happened that made our relationship go down hill and we broke up the next weekend. Since then, I haven't been able to make it to any fur meets, both conventions and local meets, until today. I've felt very stressed out about trying to make friends in the community, especially because I worry about spendings cons alone while my ex has found solid social circles that invite him out and offer him to room with them. This has been weird for me because I've never really been socially anxious; I have plenty of friends outside the fandom and can have goos casual chats with people at meets, but they never turn into stronger connections.
I also feel pretty uncomfortable seeing my ex be physical with others (connected to the thing that happened with us at AC) and feel like its unavoidable. I end up seeing pictures of him on social media, and tonight saw it in person again. Our friend groups overlap so much I feel like I can't hang out with the people I'd like to without having to see him do these things.
At this point, I feel like the only thing that's keeping me in the fandom is the fact that I would waste the time/money I spent on my suit and that I might have FOMO from not going to the 2 cons I had planned for this year. I also mainly like to bond with furries for their hobbies outside of the fandom, so why bother when I could seek new friends out directly at the source?
Should I try sticking it out more or just leave indefinitely? I feel like maybe if I end up moving out of state and restart somewhere else I might feel better, but I also feel that I have so many negative associations with the community that it can't make up for it.