Officer Monson: "Sir, multiple credible people have reported concerns that you abuse your children, starve them, leave guns and shell casings around your house, have all the cocaine, cocaine paraphernalia, strange women around the house, and we saw you snorting cocaine on video that you streamed to the world from your home. Then, we ordered a warrant, searched your house, found proof that all of this is true, and arrested you based on these facts."
Nick Rekieta: "Uhm, actually, you forgot to cross THAT 'T' and dot THAT 'I' so therefore, even though everything is true and we did commit those crimes, we get to walk free. God is good."
Wow, this is exactly like Jesus Christ being persecuted by the Jews. Phew, I was worried for a second there.