Off-Topic Deathfat Encounters IRL - This thread is not your personal army.

[The Un-Clit]

So the Homer’s sandwich episode of the Simpson was based on a real event?

Reality is stranger then fiction. It took Homer a week, Charlie took down a 10-foot monster in a couple of hours.

I dunno about you, I'm not a small man but a footlong fills me nicely. I could probably manage two, maybe two and a half AT MOST and I'd really be suffering after.

Motherfucker ate 10 feet of bread, meat, veggies and fatty sauces. I wouldn't have believed it if i hadn't seen it, and the size of his gut.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

she had all of these warts/skin tags on her quadruple chins and on the back of her hands.

She was a Type 2 diabetic


Can't remember if I've mentioned this one, but in my younger days I knew a guy from the local church group who was an internationally ranked water skier. He'd just gotten a new ski boat and invited me to go skiing with him (I'm a pretty good skier too). Unfortunately, we were overheard talking about it by another guy, a deathfat of at least 300lbs, who then invited himself to come along.
I was livid, because I knew there was no way he was going to be able to ski and I also knew that we would waste the entire day pandering to his self-inflicted physical problems.
I asked the owner of the boat why he'd permitted him to come, when we both knew damn well the guy was never going to be able to do it. I got the stock, lame response of, "Oh, well, we need to build up his confidence and encourage him..." (Looking back, I suspect it was actually about just wanting to show off his new boat to other people.) Fatty was not lacking in confidence; Fatty was delusional about his capabilities.
Anyway, the day was a complete disaster, as I knew it would be. Fatty was completely unable to get up on his skis, and also was completely oblivious to the fact that his ineptitude was preventing others from enjoying the activity they'd set out to do.

It was about this time that I realised the concept of "encouraging people" has its limits. You shouldn't encourage all people, all the time, in all things. People need to be told hard truths and face reality.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Once he got a couple drinks in him, he cordoned off and ate BY HIMSELF one of the half-dozen or so giant ten-footer loaded subs that had been laid on to cater the whole party, consisting of salesmen and women from about 10 locations and a number of client company representatives. He didn't leave so much as a goddamn smear of mayo.

Another good man brought low by the siren song of the party sub

 

[sirthisisanarbys]

I dunno about you, I'm not a small man but a footlong fills me nicely

 

[Iron Jaguar]

Another good man brought low by the siren song of the party sub

This is the best part of that post:

Trying to downplay his gluttony by saying, "I only ate, like, FIVE times as much as a very hungry adult man..."
God, I hate fat people.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Oh yeah, well, if you hate footlong cock so much, how come you've got a kiwi farms account?

 

[OttoWest]

Calls to mind…

 

[Dr. Butt]

Calls to mind…
View attachment 6073188

Look, I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't eat that much McDonalds in 90 minutes, but that doesn't mean it's healthy, normal, or supposed to be a routine activity for an average-sized person.

 

[Tiresome]

Look, I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't eat that much McDonalds in 90 minutes, but that doesn't mean it's healthy, normal, or supposed to be a routine activity for an average-sized person.

I can maybe see the burgers and nuggs if you're an active good-sized man. MAYBE. But those fries will stop you cold. Even without, you might have a bad time. I can't imagine how big Bob's stretched out stomach must be.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I can maybe see the burgers and nuggs if you're an active good-sized man. MAYBE. But those fries will stop you cold. Even without, you might have a bad time. I can't imagine how big Bob's stretched out stomach must be.

I didn't say I'd definitely make the qualifying time! I'm just not opposed to purchasing and eating all that.

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

Calls to mind…
View attachment 6073188

this is an unreasonable amount to eat for pleasure, but it's framed as a challenge, some kinda absurd "cOULD YOU DO IT?!" scenerio, which, yeah, could absolutely be done

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

Calls to mind…
View attachment 6073188

I could demolish the sodas and nugs, or just go for sodas and maaaaybe 3 burgers max. That's a LOT of salt, no way could I so the fries, I'd be fucked after the first large.
HOW THE FUCK IS THIS A SMALL MEAL?!

Spoiler

.......my husband could 100% do this with 10 min to spare tho

 

[The Un-Clit]

No chance for me. The 4 large sodas alone would fill my belly to capacity.

If I could have a couple shots of hard liquor as an apertif, I could probably do: the burgers, half the nuggets, 1 soda. The fries and the rest of the nugs and soda would end me.

 

[Guntal]

can you fat fucks quit sperging about how you could tOtALlY take down four double cheese burgers and twenty chicken nuggets, for fucks sake.

ETA: ::sparkle text:: NO ONE CARES!!

 

[Tiresome]

can you fat fucks quit sperging about how you could tOtALlY take down four double cheese burgers and twenty chicken nuggets, for fucks sake.

ETA: ::sparkle text:: NO ONE CARES!!

*browses thread, stuffing nuggets* "Well I'M not like those other fats."

 

[Clostridium Botulinum]

Reality is stranger then fiction. It took Homer a week, Charlie took down a 10-foot monster in a couple of hours.

I dunno about you, I'm not a small man but a footlong fills me nicely. I could probably manage two, maybe two and a half AT MOST and I'd really be suffering after.

Motherfucker ate 10 feet of bread, meat, veggies and fatty sauces. I wouldn't have believed it if i hadn't seen it, and the size of his gut.

My wife works for jersey mikes and I'm unable to finish a regular (basically a footlong) if I get chips and drink whenever i eat there. I'm also a tall and very athletic dude. How do people eat giant subs by themselves as a normal meal without getting violently sick?

 

[Sonalee Rashitwar]

…do people smashing these absurd amounts of fast food realize it’s so cheap and ubiquitous due to exploitation and cut corners at every level of labor and safety? Fast food is the largest offender when it comes to wage theft. And wage theft outpaces shoplifting and other theft losses by several fold. There are also a lot of child and youth labor violations, such as having teenagers stay very late to close, when they still have to go to school.

Most quick serve food places now no longer even offer a free staff meal and measure ingredients so a hungry min wage worker can’t even get that small perk. They often can’t even afford to eat at the restaurant they work at, and are prevented by huge corporations from organizing.

Sorry, bit of a rant. But reframing fast food as not fitting one’s personal values can be more helpful than just telling oneself “don’t eat it.”

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

My wife works for jersey mikes and I'm unable to finish a regular (basically a footlong) if I get chips and drink whenever i eat there. I'm also a tall and very athletic dude. How do people eat giant subs by themselves as a normal meal without getting violently sick?

everyone who posts in one of these threads with unnecessary amounts of info about themselves just to flex how much of a better person they are than the types of people they mock is a different kind of loser

 

[Dr. Butt]

can you fat fucks quit sperging about how you could tOtALlY take down four double cheese burgers and twenty chicken nuggets, for fucks sake.

ETA: ::sparkle text:: NO ONE CARES!!

Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of clinking glasses with Joey Chestnut and Kobayashi Takeru in the champagne room of the BK lounge. Enjoy your single patty, pleb.

@Clostridium Botulinum You lack discipline.

 

[Clostridium Botulinum]

@Clostridium Botulinum You lack discipline.

Man part of me wanted to be a competitive eater at one point.

But reframing fast food as not fitting one’s personal values can be more helpful than just telling oneself “don’t eat it.”

Exactly. Part of my ethics regarding food now is to avoid ultra-processed foods as much as possible. Nestle is up to some seriously shady shit when it comes to Ozempic patients; they're creating new products aimed specifically as meal replacements or "supplements." In reality, it's their standard fare of goyslop with a few powdered vitamins sprinkled in.