- Joined
- Feb 14, 2024
That's so precious Cog. He was never the bad guy, just a parasite.
Orbiter 🇬🇧 Johnathan Isaac Harrison (and his family) / Cog City / "Jobless Johnny" / Cognitive Thought - Unemployable British cuckold, doxed himself on UberEats, alleged paedophile who now admits to having sex with a 17-year-old when he was 21, seethes on X all day about Ethan Ralph, married to a Punjabi Porkchop. Now the Bri'ish Jerry Springer show.
- Thread starter AltisticRight
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2024
You know what, talking trash with Ralph and then meeting him man-to-man can be justified. Bringing some muscle with to do your dirty work for you is a bitch move however.
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
ok so after some intense cogwatching I've concluded that cog is actually autistic.
-loves anime and video games
-thinks south park is peak comedy
-constantly mad about gay shit
-picks his nose and eats it
-weird food sensitivities
-doesn't understand irony, sarcasm or jokes
-no irl friends, just other discord autismos
-hyperfixations (ralph)
-anger + fear of rejection
this is not even me roasting him or being mean. He is legitimately autismal.
in other news, who else is hyped for more beans today????
-loves anime and video games
-thinks south park is peak comedy
-constantly mad about gay shit
-picks his nose and eats it
-weird food sensitivities
-doesn't understand irony, sarcasm or jokes
-no irl friends, just other discord autismos
-hyperfixations (ralph)
-anger + fear of rejection
this is not even me roasting him or being mean. He is legitimately autismal.
in other news, who else is hyped for more beans today????
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2018
Been following cog's antics long before this thread was a thing, and I have to say, it's been a breath of fresh air seeing you being so new to cog and actually sort of enjoying his content lol.
BEAN HYPE!!!!!!!!!
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
I always knew of him as sad boring dude, but had no idea exactly how funny he was. Full disclosure, I started alogging him on twitter because he seems lonely, and it's like it's the most exciting thing to happen to him in months. He spent over an hour on his show watching 2 minutes of one of my joke vtuber videos convinced I'm a guy named Geekthulu. I haven't read enough of this thread yet to know the Geekthulu lore, but he and his fans fucking hate the guy.
anyway today has been a chill cog stream. He made fun of riley and dick masterson and is making a south park inspired kino casino meme video. It's so cool to see behind the scenes of the world's great art
no beans yet, but he showed off his coffee lollipops. I think he put them in the freezer right before the show because they aren't frozen yet. He might have to put it off until tomorrow.
We haven't hit level 1 yet. One of his members has gifted a couple subs so far. Most of the subs seem to be gifted to lurkers from regulars.
11 active chatters 1 hour in. I'm praying for the coffee pop to freeze. The people need their content
We hit 420 members! Blaze it!
Back from the break and he keeps pausing his dick masterson clip to talk about the rewards for his members. They might be getting a new cog icon. This is exciting. I'd subscribe myself if I weren't blocked.
Now he's reviewing a months old clip of dick masterson reviewing isom and pausing it every 10 seconds to refute Dick's retarded critiques. Getting the feeling that he's going to try to get Eric July on his show soon. idk why anyone would waste time watching this at this point, let alone trying to comment on it. But hey, that's why we all love Cog!
"There's a creative aspect to my show" - great quote
south park reference count: 2
now he's watching a clip of dick masterson yelling for the third time. Pauses to simply say "he's so mad". Excellent commentary.
Smoke break!
Now he's back and says he's starting his own "verse" like the clippaverse and rippaverse, called the "cuppaverse". As in "cuppa tea". He is watching Eric July's response video to Riley's arrest.
The cogcord has put its brain power together to make a meme. Behold
$40 so far. I hope Bunghole Tiger pulls through today. WE WANT BEANS!
He's hoping the Rekieta bodycam footage drops so he can have something to talk about. The lollipops still aren't frozen. He is thanking his fans again for their support. He made $40 today. The show is over. No beans.
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Geekthulhu
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2020
I just tuned in to hear him say that it's smart that Eric Nig-lie making his comic with AI art is smart business. OF COURSE this grifting thief would think collecting 4 million dollars for no creative work is hard work. What a fucking retard he is. Cog comparing what he does to what Eric July does is just fucking moronic.
Also still at $30. So @Sammich you might wanna hold off on that bean hype bro.
Also still at $30. So @Sammich you might wanna hold off on that bean hype bro.
Autischic
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2024
What I love about the bean mukbang arc, is that it's such a perfectly poor take on the genre. You can go anywhere and see fat people consuming 7000 calories of fried cheese for free, but on Cog Farms you pay so that he maybe might consume 1 bean.
#CogLife
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2016
Okay, that was fucking funny.The cogcord has put its brain power together to make a meme. Behold
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
I have crafted the perfect AI theme song for Cog's Cuppaverse using what I know of his music taste. I hope he plays it on his show today
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- Joined
- Nov 14, 2023
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
we're live!
Before the stream, Cog tweeted out a choon to get everyone into the streaming mindset.
(Its some soundtrack music. Autistic people love listening to soundtracks. Has anyone else found this to be true?)
I have my coffee ready and I'm hyped to see what insightful things Cog will say today. Tweeted my song @ him so I hope he plays it. Will update with more from today's Cogstravaganza as it progresses
today's big story is Dick Masterson deleting some tweets. Good thing Cog is here to do his neurodiverse detective work.
"We'll be covering the Ralph stuff". Thank God. "Laughing at Ralph being a snitch bitch". I am betting on him replaying his video where he beats up Ralph at least twice.
The coffee lollipops are frozen and ready for mukbanging. I'm glad he has stopped calling them "lollis".
Some memberships have dropped off. We're back at 405. Hoping for 450 by the end of the stream. We'll get a new emoji! Hopefully coffee related. He is stressing now how important it is to reach the membership threshold so we can have more emojis. The emojis are important to the Cog experience.
he's finally stopped asking people to subscribe and is reacting to a viral video of a black guy dancing to classical music.
nevermind he paused it again to talk about emojis and memberships
now he's reading his own tweet about it and laughing at his own joke
and now playing his own meme edit of the video with a "dance monkey" song in the background. His tweet response to I, Hypocrite containing this meme has 0 likes as of posting this
We're at $35/100 before we smash level 1! Come on Bunghole Tiger! Shell out!
I think he forgot what he's doing because he's just watching Vengaboys videos now.
HE IS EATING THE COFFEE ICE LOLLIPOP. THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL. It is oddly shaped. Kind of reminds me of something. idk
he made these faces while eating it
he's been eating this ice pop for what's felt like an eternity. He keeps making weird moaning noises and showing off the brown goop on his tongue. The crowd is going wild.
his wife and "niece" are both in studio encouraging him to eat bigger bites. He is spamming his donation link in chat just in case his 5 dedicated paypigs forgot where to go
finally done with the ice pop. Now he says the show can actually start. But first, a smoke break!
We're back! First off, Cog has decided to max out his microphone volume and torture his viewers with a Dick Masterson impression. Apparently the humor was lost on the crowd, who were mostly just in pain.
After deafening all the people gooning to his stream with headphones on, he puts on a video of Aaron Steeltoe. He keeps pausing it to morally grandstand @ Aaron, who will definitely never see this. We're at $64/100 for level 1.
He is playing his dance monkey meme again and singing along.
Back to Aaron for a bit before getting distracted watching some kind of weeb video game trailer. He makes the same excited + intrigued face the entire time he watches it. "It looks like a lot of fun"
The viewers are complaining about too much weeb shit. Once again we are back to pausing and lecturing Nick Rekita's cuckold. One thing you notice while Cogwatching is that he does not really tell any jokes. There's a lot to make fun of, but he mostly just grandstands and refutes things. He is having a one way argument with a video clip. The man who had his friend's child record a PPP diss track is calling Aaron a bad person for posting pictures of his children on twitter.
This really makes you wonder who would actually want to watch someone just explain shit to them like a robot. Oh yeah, the Masterson slayer, Bunghole Tiger.
Bunghole pwned Dick on twitter and got blocked. That rascal!
$74/100! 2 hours in now. He is breaking down the latest Rekieta stream for everyone who can't just watch a video and figure out what's happening on their own. Same kind of commentary as the previous video. Boring segment. Praying for someone to donate another $26 so we can get some bean action.
Smoke break! More Ralph content is promised, as well as "some seethe from Dick Masterson". I don't know about you guys, but I like to go take a smoke break when Cog takes his smoke breaks. It helps me feel closer him. Like we're buddies out on the porch blazing and talking about how Ralph is a bad guy.
Back! So much to go through! Instead he's going to pause the Rekieta video to ramble about getting too many bottles of liquor as last minute gifts. Unpauses. Pauses. Rekieta has inspired him to try going a month without drinking. Chat suggests a month without weed. He declines. Unpauses. Pauses. Reads a chat comment about coffee. Unpauses. Pauses to give a long rambling take on addiction. "At what point does medication become addiction?" "Coffee is an addiction!"- some truly Cognitive Thoughts. This goes on for a while. Unpauses.
$76/100! We're so close! "Smash that button!" Someone smashes the button and donates another $2. This triggers a clip of an intoxicated Ethan Ralph. $78/100! Still on the Rekieta videos. Pausing to read irrelevant chats and add nothing to any of it. This part is a slog. I'm starting to get sleepy. GIVE US THE FUCKING BEANS
4:20 on the east coast. Time for another smoke break! Why the east coast? Who the hell knows. Cog works in mysterious ways.
Back from the break. We're now at $83/100. "Seventeen away from smashing that goal!" Time for some Ralph! He's making fun of the Ralphamale for quitting smoking cigarettes. Pretty sure Cog mentioned quitting cigarettes recently himself, but apparently Ralph is just doing it because he's poor. "One hundred and fifty dollars on cigarettes a month? that's nothing!" If Bunghole Tiger finally sacks up, Cog could make that much in a single night! "I can't wait for Ralph to stop smoking because then he'll start eating and get fat". We're not really shaking the feeder accusations this episode. Cog admits that he doesn't get any guests, but is happy that he's at least better off than Ethan Ralph. The standards he's set for himself are explaining a lot. Talking about Ralph is the most animated he's been all ep.
BREAKING: Cog is excited to stream snipe Josh's release of the Rekieta bodycam footage. Back to making fun of Ralph.
WE MADE IT TO $108! He plays a video game victory video and ends stream.
(Its some soundtrack music. Autistic people love listening to soundtracks. Has anyone else found this to be true?)
I have my coffee ready and I'm hyped to see what insightful things Cog will say today. Tweeted my song @ him so I hope he plays it. Will update with more from today's Cogstravaganza as it progresses
today's big story is Dick Masterson deleting some tweets. Good thing Cog is here to do his neurodiverse detective work.
"We'll be covering the Ralph stuff". Thank God. "Laughing at Ralph being a snitch bitch". I am betting on him replaying his video where he beats up Ralph at least twice.
The coffee lollipops are frozen and ready for mukbanging. I'm glad he has stopped calling them "lollis".
Some memberships have dropped off. We're back at 405. Hoping for 450 by the end of the stream. We'll get a new emoji! Hopefully coffee related. He is stressing now how important it is to reach the membership threshold so we can have more emojis. The emojis are important to the Cog experience.
he's finally stopped asking people to subscribe and is reacting to a viral video of a black guy dancing to classical music.
nevermind he paused it again to talk about emojis and memberships
now he's reading his own tweet about it and laughing at his own joke
and now playing his own meme edit of the video with a "dance monkey" song in the background. His tweet response to I, Hypocrite containing this meme has 0 likes as of posting this
We're at $35/100 before we smash level 1! Come on Bunghole Tiger! Shell out!
I think he forgot what he's doing because he's just watching Vengaboys videos now.
HE IS EATING THE COFFEE ICE LOLLIPOP. THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL. It is oddly shaped. Kind of reminds me of something. idk
he made these faces while eating it
he's been eating this ice pop for what's felt like an eternity. He keeps making weird moaning noises and showing off the brown goop on his tongue. The crowd is going wild.
his wife and "niece" are both in studio encouraging him to eat bigger bites. He is spamming his donation link in chat just in case his 5 dedicated paypigs forgot where to go
finally done with the ice pop. Now he says the show can actually start. But first, a smoke break!
We're back! First off, Cog has decided to max out his microphone volume and torture his viewers with a Dick Masterson impression. Apparently the humor was lost on the crowd, who were mostly just in pain.
After deafening all the people gooning to his stream with headphones on, he puts on a video of Aaron Steeltoe. He keeps pausing it to morally grandstand @ Aaron, who will definitely never see this. We're at $64/100 for level 1.
He is playing his dance monkey meme again and singing along.
Back to Aaron for a bit before getting distracted watching some kind of weeb video game trailer. He makes the same excited + intrigued face the entire time he watches it. "It looks like a lot of fun"
The viewers are complaining about too much weeb shit. Once again we are back to pausing and lecturing Nick Rekita's cuckold. One thing you notice while Cogwatching is that he does not really tell any jokes. There's a lot to make fun of, but he mostly just grandstands and refutes things. He is having a one way argument with a video clip. The man who had his friend's child record a PPP diss track is calling Aaron a bad person for posting pictures of his children on twitter.
This really makes you wonder who would actually want to watch someone just explain shit to them like a robot. Oh yeah, the Masterson slayer, Bunghole Tiger.
Bunghole pwned Dick on twitter and got blocked. That rascal!
$74/100! 2 hours in now. He is breaking down the latest Rekieta stream for everyone who can't just watch a video and figure out what's happening on their own. Same kind of commentary as the previous video. Boring segment. Praying for someone to donate another $26 so we can get some bean action.
Smoke break! More Ralph content is promised, as well as "some seethe from Dick Masterson". I don't know about you guys, but I like to go take a smoke break when Cog takes his smoke breaks. It helps me feel closer him. Like we're buddies out on the porch blazing and talking about how Ralph is a bad guy.
Back! So much to go through! Instead he's going to pause the Rekieta video to ramble about getting too many bottles of liquor as last minute gifts. Unpauses. Pauses. Rekieta has inspired him to try going a month without drinking. Chat suggests a month without weed. He declines. Unpauses. Pauses. Reads a chat comment about coffee. Unpauses. Pauses to give a long rambling take on addiction. "At what point does medication become addiction?" "Coffee is an addiction!"- some truly Cognitive Thoughts. This goes on for a while. Unpauses.
$76/100! We're so close! "Smash that button!" Someone smashes the button and donates another $2. This triggers a clip of an intoxicated Ethan Ralph. $78/100! Still on the Rekieta videos. Pausing to read irrelevant chats and add nothing to any of it. This part is a slog. I'm starting to get sleepy. GIVE US THE FUCKING BEANS
4:20 on the east coast. Time for another smoke break! Why the east coast? Who the hell knows. Cog works in mysterious ways.
Back from the break. We're now at $83/100. "Seventeen away from smashing that goal!" Time for some Ralph! He's making fun of the Ralphamale for quitting smoking cigarettes. Pretty sure Cog mentioned quitting cigarettes recently himself, but apparently Ralph is just doing it because he's poor. "One hundred and fifty dollars on cigarettes a month? that's nothing!" If Bunghole Tiger finally sacks up, Cog could make that much in a single night! "I can't wait for Ralph to stop smoking because then he'll start eating and get fat". We're not really shaking the feeder accusations this episode. Cog admits that he doesn't get any guests, but is happy that he's at least better off than Ethan Ralph. The standards he's set for himself are explaining a lot. Talking about Ralph is the most animated he's been all ep.
BREAKING: Cog is excited to stream snipe Josh's release of the Rekieta bodycam footage. Back to making fun of Ralph.
WE MADE IT TO $108! He plays a video game victory video and ends stream.
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- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
ATTENTION ALL COGHEADS! Cog will be stream sniping Josh's Rekieta bodycam footage SOON!
off to a great start. The cogcord has created a Cog Mario
While waiting for Josh to go live, he is telling chat about his new QR code for donating. Please donate.
I can't watch this shit. I am physically and mentally fatigued from the last Cog stream. Too much of a good thing. I'm sure it'll be great though. o7 (his viewers all do this when he signs off)
nevermind, I'm back on my shit. I can't stay away. We're at $120 so far. Cog stalled until Josh's stream finally started. He is in his cog, listening intently, urging Josh to show the footage.
Surprise! Josh got better internet. Cog's reaction to the news:
With that disappointment out of the way, Cog is now watching Eric July address the Clippa situation. Not really adding anything himself. Seems to have run out of steam after the last stream. Now he's listening to the new Dick Show episode. Cog's favorite thing to say when he pauses is "SO MUCH SEETHE".
I think he forgot he's streaming now. He's just listening to a podcast. Dick just told one of his terrible jokes and Cog is responding to it at face value as if it weren't a joke.
Enough dick. Time to play the Cuck Tales Nick Rekieta parody song again. "Link's in the chat for those who wanna support the show!" Still at $120/200. Ok, back to listening silently to the Dick Show.
$125/200! A generous viewer donates $5. A clip of Ethan Ralph screaming over the instrumental for "Welcome to the Jungle" is triggered.
The cogcord has updated the Mario with some hilarious inside jokes (Cog actually hates coffee, so he would not in reality be holding a cup of coffee).
Still listening to the Dick Show. Barely any commentary. Still $125. No beans in sight. It's looking bleak.
Like everyone who listens to the Dick Show, Cog got bored and turned it off. The stream has ended.
Today's South Park reference count: 0
Today's bean count: 0
Ice Lolly's eaten: 1
Money made: $125
Alogs seething: over 9000 (i feel like this is a reference Cog would make)
Hours of my life wasted: 6
While waiting for Josh to go live, he is telling chat about his new QR code for donating. Please donate.
I can't watch this shit. I am physically and mentally fatigued from the last Cog stream. Too much of a good thing. I'm sure it'll be great though. o7 (his viewers all do this when he signs off)
nevermind, I'm back on my shit. I can't stay away. We're at $120 so far. Cog stalled until Josh's stream finally started. He is in his cog, listening intently, urging Josh to show the footage.
Surprise! Josh got better internet. Cog's reaction to the news:
With that disappointment out of the way, Cog is now watching Eric July address the Clippa situation. Not really adding anything himself. Seems to have run out of steam after the last stream. Now he's listening to the new Dick Show episode. Cog's favorite thing to say when he pauses is "SO MUCH SEETHE".
I think he forgot he's streaming now. He's just listening to a podcast. Dick just told one of his terrible jokes and Cog is responding to it at face value as if it weren't a joke.
Enough dick. Time to play the Cuck Tales Nick Rekieta parody song again. "Link's in the chat for those who wanna support the show!" Still at $120/200. Ok, back to listening silently to the Dick Show.
$125/200! A generous viewer donates $5. A clip of Ethan Ralph screaming over the instrumental for "Welcome to the Jungle" is triggered.
The cogcord has updated the Mario with some hilarious inside jokes (Cog actually hates coffee, so he would not in reality be holding a cup of coffee).
Still listening to the Dick Show. Barely any commentary. Still $125. No beans in sight. It's looking bleak.
Like everyone who listens to the Dick Show, Cog got bored and turned it off. The stream has ended.
Today's South Park reference count: 0
Today's bean count: 0
Ice Lolly's eaten: 1
Money made: $125
Alogs seething: over 9000 (i feel like this is a reference Cog would make)
Hours of my life wasted: 6
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- Joined
- Nov 14, 2023
Cog made it a $100 dono goal to streamsnipe MATI where he assumed (rather foolishly it turns out) that Josh would be showing the Nick Rekieta bodycam footage.
It turns out that the surprise was an upgrade to Starlink and 1080p quality
Cog hit the goal, and when he realized Josh would not be showing the bodycam footage Cog began accusing @Null of lying and perpetrating a scam. He tells his angry audience of schizophrenics that “JOSH LIED” and to “BLAME JOSH MOON”
broke dick, tranny, gay voice, etc
It turns out that the surprise was an upgrade to Starlink and 1080p quality
Cog hit the goal, and when he realized Josh would not be showing the bodycam footage Cog began accusing @Null of lying and perpetrating a scam. He tells his angry audience of schizophrenics that “JOSH LIED” and to “BLAME JOSH MOON”
broke dick, tranny, gay voice, etc
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2023
Man, how can you hate Cog when he's this stupid and impotent?
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2024
Oh Coggles, you scamp. Always depending on someone else to give you content.
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
someone in my discord just made this. We all fucking love cogtent
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
I'm double posting, but no one is going to care because only like 3 people even read this thread
cog told a joke! In all the time I've watched him, he's never really said anything that could be construed as a joke, but I guess he's been saving up his comedy powers for this banger. Check it out!
here he is earlier, dunking on Ralph again. Kind of mean to poor shame the guy. Not everyone can be as privileged as Cog, who can just eat however many beans he wants with reckless abandon.
he is going to talk about the Thorpes on his stream today. Preparing myself to take in Cog's wisdom on the subject.
cog told a joke! In all the time I've watched him, he's never really said anything that could be construed as a joke, but I guess he's been saving up his comedy powers for this banger. Check it out!
here he is earlier, dunking on Ralph again. Kind of mean to poor shame the guy. Not everyone can be as privileged as Cog, who can just eat however many beans he wants with reckless abandon.
he is going to talk about the Thorpes on his stream today. Preparing myself to take in Cog's wisdom on the subject.
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- Joined
- Mar 30, 2020
I am baffled by the fact that Cog still has people donating.
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2024
The sektur works in mysterious ways.
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
it's mostly just one guy, Bunghole Tiger, who is primarily interested in Cog's mukbang content. Fetish content for furries is always a lucrative grift.