How much did hearing about how much cis women hate men influence your transition?
I’m really curious if anyone else can relate to this. When I was a little kid, elementary school aged and such, I viewed thinge through a very “gender blind“ lens. I thought people were just people and didn’t think there was much distinction between “boys” and “girls“. My friend groups were all pretty mixed gender, and gender did not really play much of a role in how I interacted with people.
Once puberty hit and I got sent off to Middle School, I was shell shocked by how gendered everything became. Peer groups became mono-gender, and boys and girls started acting differently from each other. This is when I started developing contempt for men, and extreme embassment over being one. When I‘d hear girls talk about how much they hated guys, it’d make me incredibly upset that they were technically talking about me. I’d try to rationalize it by considering myself “one of the good ones”. Someone who didn’t exhibit toxic masculinity at all, and was nice and mature and emotionally intelligent. I felt like as long as I’m a good person, the things cis women said about men wouldn’t really be about ME. I was naive enough to believe that cis women interacted with men on an “innocent until proven guilty“ basis, and believed that as long I was a good person I’d be trusted like a women trust other women. I still saw the world through a somewhat “gender blind” context. I did not think people walked up to someone and immediately think “I’m talking to man” or “I’m talking to a woman. I thought people were people, and it wasn’t until I got older that I realized how wrong I was.
The older I got, the more I realized how inherently cis women are afraid of you, not matter what your actions are, because you’re a man. And the more I realized that, the more I felt like I HAD to transition. I actually consider being exposed to the idea that saying “not all men“ is problematic as a major moment in my egg cracking. Again, I’d try to rationalize the situation by thinking to myself “well at least I’m one of the good ones“. Learning that too most feminists, there are no good ones, completely sent me.
I’d say transitioning so I’m no longer seen as a threat to cis women is like 75% of why I transitioned. And getting female social privilege is easily the most life changing thing to ever happen to me. I now feel like I’m living life on easy mode in a way.
Now that I’m trans and know what it’s like to live as a woman, I 100% get why women are afraid of basically all men in public. I understand the “guilty until proven innocent“ thing now. I mean, I “got it” even before transitioning, but now I feel like I completely UNDERSTAND.
I’m curious if anyone else finds this relatable or interesting.
