Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[IsaACKRepentance]

Lost one of my cool older cousins EARLY in the tranny epidemic, probably around 2012 or so.

I was pretty young at the time so I didnt understand it, but some drama basically cut him out of our lives and I dont even know what his new fag name is so I cant find out where he is or if he's even alive.

Its such a bummer but on the other hand it was probably a W for my family to not let him near the younger family members, especially since I and some of my other cousins had a lot of similar interests to him. (Gaming and comics, nerd shit, prime prey for troons.)

Can't say I don't wonder about him and miss him, but I think its why once the trans shit exploded I was a performative ally cuz of nerd sphere shit but I never truly believed in it. Since its his own fault for ruining his chances with a family that while more conservative then some are comfortable with, loved the shit outta him.

 

[Hassou Tobi]

I liked this hopeful Reddit story



“ My husband’s autistic brother went through the exact same thing in college, including going off his meds. He promptly flunked out of school, got in a bad car wreck, moved back home, couldn’t bring himself to work, regressed back into some very old sensory issues, the whole bit.

It’s a really tricky situation, but you may have a built-in advantage since your brother is in the hospital. You should be able to call him and ask if you’re able to come/dial into any appointments or family sessions with him. If he tells them he wants you to join, that’s your chance to talk to his doctor or therapist and understand more. It’s also your chance to discuss your concerns about your mom and allow them to receive a clearer picture of the family/upbringing components.

I’m going to be honest, though—don’t expect the reasons you’re given to make any sense. If he’s autistic, it really may boil down to “I like the color pink and I don’t want to be aggressive and I don’t feel any gender, anyway.” That’s what my BIL finally settled on.

As for how we handled it…frankly, he has a very woke family and I am very liberal, but even this was a smidge too silly for them. After he “came out,” his mom asked “So what does this change about our relationship?” When he said “nothing,” we all shrugged and moved on. We never brought it up again. We avoided using pronouns and names around him. I was frankly really impressed by my in-laws.

His phase lasted about 3 years. He never went on hormones, and if he cross dresses at all, it’s never around us. It was like he realized he wasn’t going to get any special attention or fawning from us, and it quietly died. It really made me wonder why more families don’t try this method, but I understand it’s way easier to ignore a college student who is sulking in his room than a child who is throwing a tantrum.

He wore long hair and a tuxedo with a pink bowtie for our wedding, and I was perfectly happy with that.”

 

[Aunt Carol]

It was like he realized he wasn’t going to get any special attention or fawning from us, and it quietly died. It really made me wonder why more families don’t try this method, but I understand it’s way easier to ignore a college student who is sulking in his room than a child who is throwing a tantrum.

He wore long hair and a tuxedo with a pink bowtie for our wedding, and I was perfectly happy with that.

Huh; this is a nice case study, but there are a lot of questions not asked.

I wonder if this was the rare case of an autist trooning out without personal contact with groomers. This sounds--pure speculation--like the BiL did read some pop trans theory, but wasn't having a whole Discord of troons encouraging him personally, 24/7.

 

[Hassou Tobi]

Huh; this is a nice case study, but there are a lot of questions not asked.

I wonder if this was the rare case of an autist trooning out without personal contact with groomers. This sounds--pure speculation--like the BiL did read some pop trans theory, but wasn't having a whole Discord of troons encouraging him personally, 24/7.

Oh yeah, apparently it was during COVID so the troon couldn't rush to nearest clinic for hormones or engage in public crossdressing for attention. Or get attention from the wider family. I guess it was more time than ever to sulk on Discord, but he was probably gonna do that anyway.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I guess it was more time than ever to sulk on Discord, but he was probably gonna do that anyway.

Oh, yeah, but this sounded like the rare non-Discord troonout. The redditor mentioned autism and "regressing," so the kind of person who would need a handler--or a think tank of chat app troons. These people ruminate about being trans at home, physically alone, and by the time they go to local "queer spaces," they've already been mentally preparing for it for months.

 

[doomocract]

Say something about common issues.

Deaf ppl tend ignore someone's (self say) gender, say they are the gender they born as). All deaf depend on eye style to see other deaf ppl. If someone try lie, we ignore. Deaf all about physical existence.

If i had kid who pretend be tranny i would disown

 

[Baraadmirer]

Say something about common issues.

Deaf ppl tend ignore someone's (self say) gender, say they are the gender they born as). All deaf depend on eye style to see other deaf ppl. If someone try lie, we ignore. Deaf all about physical existence.

If i had kid who pretend be tranny i would disown

Imagine the blind people who are gaslit by troons who still have too masculine or feminine a voice to pass as the opposite sex.

 

[doomocract]

Imagine the blind people who are gaslit by troons who still have too masculine or feminine a voice to pass as the opposite sex.

Yes imagine. Truth can't hide, biological will win out
grant there odd excepts like...maybe voice sounds to male but belong to female, versa vice.

 

[Oyabun]

I had this friend since middle school, on our first year of high school she started to identify as agender/nonbinary and I didn't think much of it since nothing changed in our friendship and because our language doesn't have "neutral" pronouns I didn't have to change my vocabulary. Also she kept on using makeup and wearing feminine clothing.
Well, after 10 years of friendship she started to be very clingy and "cuddly". Everytime I asked her to stop touching me she would say stuff like "I'm not a man, you know I don't have ulterior motives", but 5 minutes later would scream at me if I didn't refer to her as a man - this girl changed "identities" and "genders" all the time: if she wanted to scream at me and play the victim she would identitfy as a man, if she wanted to grope me suddently she wasn't a man anymore.
Long story short she threw a massive tantrum because I went to the cinema with a male friend without her "consent", after that I cut all ties with her. To this day she whines on twitter about how I'm an evil transphobe that should have dated her since she "really loved" me (even if she always knew I had 0 attraction towards girls).
I don't regret ending our friendship at all lmao​

 

[AfghanBlue]

The bad part is the weirdo egg crackers are people I personally don't know, so if I criticize them it's coming from "John's weird Christian friend" or w/e and their defenses would already be up. They've already got an assumption that I'm the worst possible bigot, any movement that direction makes them feel right. I hate feeling like I can't do anything. Talk about walking on eggs.

Why don't u post soemthing written by a troon or quoting a troon, that says it's bullshit to force gender identity on people and egg talk actually makes them have a harder time figuring it out themsleves and it's essentially misgerndering

Imagine the blind people who are gaslit by troons who still have too masculine or feminine a voice to pass as the opposite sex.

There is actually a a blind troon, a blind MTF in a wheelchair who is kind of old.
I wonder if they went blind somehwya recently rather than born blind.
I was musing upon blindness once and realised that they are probably the people who are gonna be least affected by surface level vanity bullshit, they can't see who is ugly or not and don't see a fancy car and shit.
They can only really respond to how someone acts and probably sniff out bullshit well.

The blind MTF threw me for a loop for sure.
Hmm, maybe he listens to those sissy audios actually. I didn't know about them when I saw him on YouTube or whatever it was. Ugh.

 

[Cryptojew]

Today my little brother showed me a photo of himself wearing a skirt he bought. He also bought short shorts "to show off his legs". He came out as bisexual a few months ago, after he began hanging out with a group of theater kids at college. He's always been easily influenced, so I'm worried some theater tranny is trying to pinkpill him.

For my part I told him he looked dumb, and that skirts are meant to accentuate an hourglass figure he doesn't possess. He seemed to take what I said to heart, but I'm not sure it'll be enough.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Imagine the blind people who are gaslit by troons who still have too masculine or feminine a voice to pass as the opposite sex.

There is actually a a blind troon, a blind MTF in a wheelchair who is kind of old.
I wonder if they went blind somehwya recently rather than born blind.
I was musing upon blindness once and realised that they are probably the people who are gonna be least affected by surface level vanity bullshit, they can't see who is ugly or not and don't see a fancy car and shit.
They can only really respond to how someone acts and probably sniff out bullshit well.

The blind MTF threw me for a loop for sure.
Hmm, maybe he listens to those sissy audios actually. I didn't know about them when I saw him on YouTube or whatever it was. Ugh.

Consider the wonders an enhanced sense of smell must work for blind people when confronted with troons.

 

[AfghanBlue]

Today my little brother showed me a photo of himself wearing a skirt he bought. He also bought short shorts "to show off his legs". He came out as bisexual a few months ago, after he began hanging out with a group of theater kids at college. He's always been easily influenced, so I'm worried some theater tranny is trying to pinkpill him.

For my part I told him he looked dumb, and that skirts are meant to accentuate an hourglass figure he doesn't possess. He seemed to take what I said to heart, but I'm not sure it'll be enough.

Tell him to get a kilt or a galabea instead.
There's plenty of dudely skirts that will actually look cool instead of creepy.

Rebound and trad-fashion pill the troon at college.
Send your bro b as kc in Like see, I can wear a skirt without medically disabling myself.

 

[Staphylococcus aureus]

Sorry for potential newfagging and text wall, but I don't have anywhere else to talk about this and it's been weighing heavy on my mind.

I have a friend I've known since middle school. I want to keep this brief since so much shit has happened that I can't even remember all of it, but essentially he's been groomed by multiple adult men from the age of 13, at least one of which who I know was a predatorial BLM/ACAB/furry tranny type who was extremely weird and open about his sexual achievements (often referred to my at-the-time underage friend by many sexual nicknames, and that's as much as I'll say), and another who was quite physically and verbally aggressive and often solicited weird pictures.

My friend grew up in a very strict household, was homeschooled throughout highschool, and has struggled extensively with severe anxiety and depression leading to him self-harming frequently, particularly throughout middle school. I believe he's in therapy now, but it doesn't seem to have made much of a difference, considering he has 0 social skills, is afraid of everyone except his handmaiden sister, and, of course, has unsurprisingly transitioned from groomed, gay young man to obnoxious, weird, cartoonishly stereotypical HSTS who talks about wearing his sister's clothes, Ultrakill, estrogen, how he's such a womanly woman, anime girls, etc.

I genuinely don't know what I should feel right now. I peaked fairly recently (about a year ago I would say), but I've know him for almost 6 years, and it hurts to watch him slide back so far when it seemed like he had actually been making progress with therapy and time (he was functional for a period of time and even had a regular sleep schedule and a hint of self esteem, but that's all disappeared with his "transition").

As a 'friend' I want to believe that he's gravely mistaken and that maybe this will all work itself out, that somehow he'll quit before he castrates himself and dies of sepsis from his axe wound; but as a woman this is all deeply sickening to me. I can't stand to hear him complain about his voice dysphoria, how he wants big boobs, how he can't go into women's-only game lobbies because creepy men join (fucking lol), and how he's totally a cute anime girl. In a way, I almost feel at fault, since I wasn't there for him when he was struggling the most (I intentionally dropped contact with him for a couple years because he was being an annoying fag who refused to talk to a therapist; I don't think I would change that, but I do feel guilty about it in retrospect).

TTD, but this hurts. I hope one day he'll wake up and realize that estrogen won't cure his depression, un-groom him, or make his life easier somehow.

 

[Cryptojew]

Tell him to get a kilt or a galabea instead.
There's plenty of dudely skirts that will actually look cool instead of creepy

This is actually how I told him he looked dumb without outing myself as an evil transphobe, I told him a story of sombody I knew in school who wore a "utilikilt" and how stupid it made him look.

I have shared the story of Yaniv with him, he was appropriately horrified. Baby steps, but maybe I can turn this around.

 

[AfghanBlue]

This is actually how I told him he looked dumb without outing myself as an evil transphobe, I told him a story of sombody I knew in school who wore a "utilikilt" and how stupid it made him look.

I have shared the story of Yaniv with him, he was appropriately horrified. Baby steps, but maybe I can turn this around.

Just googled them and they didn't look awful, but it depends who's wearing.

You've got to have the figure for a kit.
On it looks god awful on fatties but it also looks dumb on bean-poles.

You need to be a strongly built man with good legs, you can be stout but you've got to have a bit of definition /differentiation of figure.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I intentionally dropped contact with him for a couple years because he was being an annoying fag who refused to talk to a therapist; I don't think I would change that, but I do feel guilty about it in retrospect).

It was the right choice. If your friend is on fire and refuses to get water to put himself out, there's no reason to stand in the fire with him to catch fire yourself. His parents should feel more guilty about not monitoring the poor son better, and he himself needs to work on responding more to therapy. It might be impossible for him or he might choose to never change because of an emotional high or fear of change, but it is important for him to know the ball is in his court and he can change. I'm sorry to both you and your friend, it's hard going through such a thing when you're predisposed to social anxiety and depression and it's hard to watch someone go through it as well. Whatever happens, happens, as sad as it is to say. You're allowed to feel bad for him as well as be sickened by his rhetoric, two contradictory emotions can be confusing but they're for a good reason and being an adult human you can hold complex feelings and don't have to pick one.

 

[ScurvyRat]

I almost feel at fault, since I wasn't there for him when he was struggling the most (I intentionally dropped contact with him for a couple years because he was being an annoying fag who refused to talk to a therapist; I don't think I would change that, but I do feel guilty about it in retrospect).

You did the right thing, many of us in the thread would have acted in the exact same way.

He genuinely seems like the kind of toxic person I would deem as an "energy goblin"
Let me guess, every time you talk to him he has a new sob story? New drama, every single day? The kind of person who attracts bad shit happening to them constantly but is lacking self awareness entirely?

I agree with @AMHOLIO 's post above and would like to add:

You owe this faggot nothing. Don't get sucked into his tranny spiral because you feel bad for him. I get it. It's hard to watch. I would recommend separating yourself entirely before you become the "evil TERF bigot" and source of this week's drama.

Sucks super hard to see this happen to people we love, but at least this was an old friend and not a relative or a spouse.

 

[Staphylococcus aureus]

He genuinely seems like the kind of toxic person I would deem as an "energy goblin"
Let me guess, every time you talk to him he has a new sob story? New drama, every single day? The kind of person who attracts bad shit happening to them constantly but is lacking self awareness entirely?

Honestly speaking, he's at least improved on this front; he used to be very much a "my life sucks and I have no friends and I want die and I'm sending you an essay about it at 3AM" type of guy. It was incredibly mentally taxing on me as a teenage girl, which is the reason I told him to go see a therapist and fuck off, but he does still somehow manage to attract the most unsavory weirdos no matter what. I don't know if he realizes it, but 90% of his friends are just gooner chasers, but I guess that's nothing new. I suppose they're the only people that will give troons any real "validation" ("no your femboy voice is so cute and womanly I totally see you as a girl" type shit).

You owe this faggot nothing. Don't get sucked into his tranny spiral because you feel bad for him. I get it. It's hard to watch. I would recommend separating yourself entirely before you become the "evil TERF bigot" and source of this week's drama.

I've definitely contemplated just blocking him and stopping contact all together. I think at this point I just won't respond to anything he says anymore. In this situation I'm not sure if I can escape the evil TERF genocider allegations since I've already publicly stated some non-PC opinions, such as "trans women aren't 100% biologically the same as cis women" and "I would rather hang out with normie men than trans woman."

It was the right choice. If your friend is on fire and refuses to get water to put himself out, there's no reason to stand in the fire with him to catch fire yourself. His parents should feel more guilty about not monitoring the poor son better, and he himself needs to work on responding more to therapy.

I think this is the worst part about this whole situation for me. I'm at least glad that he talked to his parents enough for them to send him to therapy, but for them to never notice the accumulation of scars on his arms and legs from self harm, the fact that he wakes up at 5pm every day (how), him wearing his sister's clothes, makeup, and painting his nails, etc... I do wonder if they really just don't give a shit about him (his mom is a SAHM and his dad is just a wagie). I've talked to his sister briefly and I feel sorry for her. I hope she realizes that there are ways she can love and support her brother without enabling his weird fetish. This is just a sad situation to me overall, but I'm not a stranger to the reality that people change, and I've begun to accept that the best thing for me to do is to just get out while I still have my dignity.

 

[Bowman Dan]

A long time friend of mine has been enabling his girlfriends poonerism over the past few years and it's reached a point where he pretty much "protects" her from me. It sucks cause she was a legit funny person to be around and easy to get along with, she was just unfortunately plagued by a fucked up family (I'm talking pervert grandparents, welfare single dad, two mums (mum divorced the dad to marry a woman), etc). My friend was in a position to help her but instead took the passive route and let her slowly destroy herself.

It eventually culminated a couple years ago in him sending a long as essay to me cause "they don't feel safe around me anymore" (I jokingly called myself a fag on his minecraft server, no joke that's what happened). And since then any updates I get on them have been second hand. As far as I know she shaves her head, wants to be called a weird guy name, has a stupid pooner discord profile, and is just generally unpleasant/uncomfortable to be around now.

Throughout all of this my friend just lets it all happen, and at this point he's virtually uncontactable and intentionally isolates himself from anyone who could be a problem to her. I never had a problem with her before, but since she's taken away one of my best friends I can't help but dislike her. The last time I ever saw her was running into both of them at the shops around 3 years ago, she unironically whispered in his ear like wormtongue when she saw me, and they both walked away without saying anything.