Now Miss'ippi John who was never a man,
Went out protesting the Klu Klux Klan.
Protested them so hard they ran away,
Once they saw John'd took their 'L' away.
Now lemme tell you about the time Miss'ippi John took time off from calling people sand nigger and protested the Klu Klux Klan. You know them now as the Ku Klux Klan, but that's because they ran into Ol' Miss'ippi John, and this the story about how he tricked them robed codgerpots outta their first L.
When Ol' Miss'ippi John was in college for journalism, after learning about how to run a successful business from his family while growing up dirt poor in the backwoods of Mississippi, John learned the Klu Klux Klan was coming to his campus. Now John had never forgiven for trying to lynch him when he was younger (a fate he'd survived because of his for'tious lack of spine) or for managing to kill him before he'd started college for being an uppity woman. So John decided he was going to get a little payback.
So, taking a radical stand for a college student, especially one the 80s, he decided he was gunna protest.
Now them KKK boys were good Southern Boys who didn't spook at no nothin', but when they marched to that campus and saw 6'5" of towering black-dressed femininity with a five-o-clock shadow in front of them, well, all them grant wizards and cyclopses went as white as the sheets they was wearing. But things were about to go from bad to worse, cause John sprung his trap and had the College Republicans form up beside him on his left and his right. They knew there was no way they was going to protect the culture and hertiage of the ol' south against a woman so wily & charismatic he was able to get the College Republicans to form up with him, and the only way out was gunna be an orderly retreat.
But ol Miss'ippi John wasn't gonna let them get away that easy, not after they'd killed him that summer for being a black child. So Miss'ippi John ran after them white-sheeted yellow bellies and ripped the 'L' in 'KLU' right off their banner. The Imperial Dragon wanted to got get it back, but was overridden by the Grand Imperial Half-Elf Bard. He was the smartest of them by far, smart enough to know they wasn't gonna be able to get one over on Miss'ippi John. "We ain't never getting that back. We just gonna be the Ku Klux Klan now." he said, admitting defeat as they all turned around and went home in shame.