UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019

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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary


42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019

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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[FedPostalService]

I hope Sunak has his bags packed and a moving van ready because on Thursday night that man is being evicted.
View attachment 6149885
Reform with 16% effectively becoming the UK's third party if the numbers are correct.

This is going to be a massive boost to bring about proportional representation. The parties that finish last will more than likely get more seats that the one that finishes third.

I voted against PR on the referendum as first past the post is a good filter to keep the crazies out, but if the crazies now get a podium finish then they really need to be let in.

 

[Kier Starmer]

I was going to vote, then found out my vote card was for a previous tenant. I breathed a sigh of relief because I don't have to vote for the pajeet. I would rather die than vote for Starmer a man who fails up or Angela Rayner whose idea of politics is bedding politicians to stay afloat.

Deep down I am hoping for a coalition to keep Starmer's fever dream in check but it won't happen sadly. I can't wait to see the level of batshit we are about to descend into as he passes inane hate speech bills and anything financially viable is "the Tories bankrupt us". He's also a massive Chink slave so he will scupper our relationship with the US and Australia. All for that precious non-existent Chinese money.

 

[FedPostalService]

I was going to vote, then found out my vote card was for a previous tenant. I breathed a sigh of relief because I don't have to vote for the pajeet. I would rather die than vote for Starmer a man who fails up or Angela Rayner whose idea of politics is bedding politicians to stay afloat.

Deep down I am hoping for a coalition to keep Starmer's fever dream in check but it won't happen sadly. I can't wait to see the level of batshit we are about to descend into as he passes inane hate speech bills and anything financially viable is "the Tories bankrupt us". He's also a massive Chink slave so he will scupper our relationship with the US and Australia. All for that precious non-existent Chinese money.

The bad news is the coalition would be with the Lib Dems and they’re batshit sex pests nowadays.

 

[isalaide]

Rather than bemoaning things like how parliament still is built around things that no longer matter such as the front benches being sword distance apart, perhaps we could reintroduce the things that made them necessary. Have MPs carrying swords into parliament, etc. Sunak has short arms and would soon be dispatched for example. And Jacob Reese Mogg would undoubtedly consider himself quite dashing sporting an English fencing sword.

Didn't go very well for the last senior Tory that got in a knife fight with a constituent, did it

 

[Overly Serious]

Didn't go very well for the last senior Tory that got in a knife fight with a constituent, did it

David Amess? Well only one person in that fight had a knife and it wasn't him. Frankly, I feel your comment is one that supports them carrying swords, honestly.

Anyway, for those of you staying up to watch, whats your coverage of choice? Any good channels or commentators people recommend?

 

[isalaide]

David Amess? Well only one person in that fight had a knife and it wasn't him. Frankly, I feel your comment is one that supports them carrying swords, honestly.

Anyway, for those of you staying up to watch, whats your coverage of choice? Any good channels or commentators people recommend?

sorry that was cunty of me, he wasn't that bad for a Tory, you can't actually stab them. We are supposed to be a democracy of law and order.
i'm going to watch channel 4 but I'll watch BBC1 when John Curtice is on.

 

[Overly Serious]

sorry that was cunty of me, he wasn't that bad for a Tory, you can't actually stab them. We are supposed to be a democracy of law and order.

I actually read your comment in a more charitable tone of voice and didn't immediately think you cunty, So don't worry.

i'm going to watch channel 4 but I'll watch BBC1 when John Curtice is on.

I miss Channel 4's Election Night Armistice they had back during Blair's ascent. They had a 30' inflatable Paddy-O-Meter to show how well the Liberal Democrats were doing and when the LibDems finally had to concede they had this "secret camera in LibDem HQ" where "Paddy Ashdown" returned after being interviewed. It had a big banner saying "Well done Prime Minister Paddy" and a cake as if they'd actually thought they would win. It was all filmed from behind so you couldn't see the face of the actor playing Paddy Ashdown and when everyone else had gone out he started throwing the cake around and kicking chairs about. Was hilarious. And a tiny miniature Tony Blair in a remote controlled car.

Happy days.

Well, the last happy days really as Blair become Prime Minister the next morning.

 

[isalaide]

I actually read your comment in a more charitable tone of voice and didn't immediately think you cunty, So don't worry.

I miss Channel 4's Election Night Armistice they had back during Blair's ascent. They had a 30' inflatable Paddy-O-Meter to show how well the Liberal Democrats were doing and when the LibDems finally had to concede they had this "secret camera in LibDem HQ" where "Paddy Ashdown" returned after being interviewed. It had a big banner saying "Well done Prime Minister Paddy" and a cake as if they'd actually thought they would win. It was all filmed from behind so you couldn't see the face of the actor playing Paddy Ashdown and when everyone else had gone out he started throwing the cake around and kicking chairs about. Was hilarious. And a tiny miniature Tony Blair in a remote controlled car.

Happy days.

Well, the last happy days really as Blair become Prime Minister the next morning.

The Election night Armistice was funny as fuck. Do you remember the other episode they did where they designed the table that would be needed for the Good Friday Agreement? It has mirrors and cranes and seesaws so that the Unionists could say they hadn't actually sat at a table with Sinn Fein and the British government could say that no 'recognised' terrorist had been in the negotiations?

You know that was actually a genuine triumph of diplomacy and hope for the future and now Brexit fucked it all up

 

[Overly Serious]

The Election night Armistice was funny as fuck. Do you remember the other episode they did where they designed the table that would be needed for the Good Friday Agreement? It has mirrors and cranes and seesaws so that the Unionists could say they hadn't actually sat at a table with Sinn Fein and the British government could say that no 'recognised' terrorist had been in the negotiations?

You know that was actually a genuine triumph of diplomacy and hope for the future and now Brexit fucked it all up

I don't remember the table, I'm afraid. Sounds like their sort of thing, though. Do you remember the "New Labour / New Danger" campaign the Tories ran with the demon eyes? How surprisingly prophetic that actually turned out to be! On the show they had a woman going into the polling booth and her pen is over the Conservatives box and then in an inset things start appearing like the poll tax riots and other Tory disasters and her pen starts drifting downwards to Labour and just as she's about to tick it the Demon Eyes appear and she jerks back up to tick Conservative. Hilarious.



Meanwhile BBC had John Snow and his Swing-o-meter. Sorry, just couldn't compete.

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

The face of a man who realizes the state of Bri'ish justice:

British police sentence man to 4 months over Master Sword toy (archive)
by Brandon Lyttle on July 3, 2024



British courts have sentenced a man to four months in jail for carrying a tiny Master Sword replica in public.

According to the Warwickshire police, the man was found guilty of possessing a bladed weapon in public. On June 8 he was spotted carrying the toy in the town of Nuneaton. Police were informed of his toy-carrying activities via CCTV footage and responded promptly.

Anthony Bray, a 48 year old man was approached by police and insisted he had no intentions of using his toy to cause harm and it was intended to be a “fidget” which he used to keep his hands occupied.

The Master Sword is the iconic weapon wielded by Link in The Legend of Zelda series and is used to slay the evil Ganon whenever he appears throughout history, the two bound by fate to fight.

In a 12 month period ending in March 2023, there were 244 fatal stabbings in England and Wales and 101 of those were committed with household kitchen knifes. We haven’t been able to find any statistic on Master Swords.

 

[Kel1 shi1]

the man was found guilty of possessing a bladed weapon in public.

No your honor it's a letter opener not a sword.

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

The face of a man who realizes the state of Bri'ish justice:

British police sentence man to 4 months over Master Sword toy (archive)
by Brandon Lyttle on July 3, 2024

View attachment 6150491

British courts have sentenced a man to four months in jail for carrying a tiny Master Sword replica in public.

According to the Warwickshire police, the man was found guilty of possessing a bladed weapon in public. On June 8 he was spotted carrying the toy in the town of Nuneaton. Police were informed of his toy-carrying activities via CCTV footage and responded promptly.

Anthony Bray, a 48 year old man was approached by police and insisted he had no intentions of using his toy to cause harm and it was intended to be a “fidget” which he used to keep his hands occupied.

The Master Sword is the iconic weapon wielded by Link in The Legend of Zelda series and is used to slay the evil Ganon whenever he appears throughout history, the two bound by fate to fight.

In a 12 month period ending in March 2023, there were 244 fatal stabbings in England and Wales and 101 of those were committed with household kitchen knifes. We haven’t been able to find any statistic on Master Swords.

The Legend of Zelda: The Britbong Master

 

[McMitch]

The Legend of Zelda: Total Britbong Death

Maybe even down to the cellular level, since there is clearly something fundamentally wrong with the British Isles. Clearly Lovecraft was right and they’re all fish people.

 

[Jex]

You can’t carry a toy master sword but you can carry a spyderco ukpk because uk law Is a joke

 

[Your Girlfriend's Dad]

What a thing it is to watch a culture commit suicide.

 

[isalaide]

it was intended to be a “fidget” which he used to keep his hands occupied.

"It's not a machete my Lord and I am definitely not on my way to stab that cunt Billy up the road with it, I am just.... fidgeting with it because of my ADHD"

 

[The Noticer]

"Oi mate, d'y'ave a loisence for that letteh oppneh?"

--Alternatively--

>be bri'ish
>go to prison

 

[Cronarch]

What is it with Bri'ish police and needlessly arresting autistics?

 

[EddyRooney]

The face of a man who realizes the state of Bri'ish justice:

British police sentence man to 4 months over Master Sword toy (archive)
by Brandon Lyttle on July 3, 2024

View attachment 6150491

British courts have sentenced a man to four months in jail for carrying a tiny Master Sword replica in public.

According to the Warwickshire police, the man was found guilty of possessing a bladed weapon in public. On June 8 he was spotted carrying the toy in the town of Nuneaton. Police were informed of his toy-carrying activities via CCTV footage and responded promptly.

Anthony Bray, a 48 year old man was approached by police and insisted he had no intentions of using his toy to cause harm and it was intended to be a “fidget” which he used to keep his hands occupied.

The Master Sword is the iconic weapon wielded by Link in The Legend of Zelda series and is used to slay the evil Ganon whenever he appears throughout history, the two bound by fate to fight.

In a 12 month period ending in March 2023, there were 244 fatal stabbings in England and Wales and 101 of those were committed with household kitchen knifes. We haven’t been able to find any statistic on Master Swords.

In addition to the four months in prison, Bray is required to pay a victims’ surcharge of £154.

Sgt Spellman of the Patrol Investigations Unit said “We take a zero tolerance to bladed articles in public, and Bray has fallen afoul of this.

“It is possible to find fidget toys that aren’t six-inch blades. It is possible not to walk down the street holding them out in front of you.

“With a bit more self-awareness, Bray could have avoided contact with us completely.”

There has to be more to this than meets the eye surely ? A victims' surcharge ?! WTF ?! Who is the victim here ?!! I really hope this isn't going to the fat useless oinkers.

“With a bit more self-awareness, Bray could have avoided contact with us completely.” - Words to live by. Avoid the lazy poncing scum at all costs.

Decision made by magistrates - explains a lot. If you ever want to see some pompous people, a magistrates' court is where to go. Proof of the Dunning-Kruger effect.

 

[isalaide]

You can’t carry a toy master sword but you can carry a spyderco ukpk because uk law Is a joke
View attachment 6150559

I've just ordered one of these looking forward to getting it