[GODG]: Oh boy, it's the Fourth of fucking July, the nation's greatest holiday. In 2024, I don't think that could be further from the truth. I just had some cold ziti, I didn't sleep an ounce last night. I stared at the clock every second, every minute, just counting and checking comments and deleting them as they came. And I realized - you know what? - I have nothing to apologize for, so I deleted that other video.
And I'm angry, man, this is a holiday for this nation and to me, it's just a day to be pissed off because there's nothing good. Like, what are we celebrating, free speech? Free speech is maybe the only thing I'll give you, the fact that I can do this without any repercussions. Supposed repercussions. You know what's going to happen? This is what's going to happen.
There's a subreddit where they stole my logo and are using it to screenshot every thing that I say and hold it against me, as if I don't bury myself with my own words as it is. There's a whole subreddit community of people that think they're burying me and they're holding a circlejerk and eating each other's cum, and I hope they get diseases from it... but, yeah, as I continue on my decline, the downfall of Bill, they're holding a circlejerk... and each slip up is "Oh my God, yesssss." They're just - they're just - I don't go on Reddit because it's a vile cesspool of children and it's the daycare of the internet... so... because it has stuff like that!
And, that's the repercussion of a video like this. Talking about how I don't give a fuck about the Fourth of July. You know what? I'm not going to get any sleep tonight either because they're gonna be blowing off goddamn fireworks, and it's gonna make the dogs nervous. The dogs are gonna be trembling, and I'm gonna have to comfort them all night, because even when the fireworks stop, the one little dog is still PTSD-terrified-for-her-life trembling. And I'm gonna have to coddle her all night, just so that she doesn't shit the bed out of diarrhea of fear. So, I'm not gonna get any sleep tonight either. I'm just gonna eat cold ziti all day like I did in the morning and maybe drink something. But I'm dog sitting, that's what I do. I'm gonna water the garden, I'm gonna watch the dogs, I'm gonna tell them that they're good doggies, and I'm gonna tell them that they're better than people. There's a lizard too, but nobody cares about reptiles.
[pause]
I'm angry. I don't give a shit about anything.
[laughs]
But I will take care of the reptile, because it's not mine to say.
And, eventually, it won't be the Fourth of damn July anymore. We will witness my sister coming back from vacation. They will thank me for watching their dogs and taking care of their house. And I will go back to my bitter reality where I have to find work in a warehouse again, or a grocery store, or some retail position, and question every fuckin' second of the day what the hell the point of my life is.
You know how there's taboo topics? Like, you're not supposed to talk about politics, you're not supposed to talk about religion, and you're NEVER supposed to say how much money you make. God forbid you let people in on the secret of your -
Well, guess what? I had fifty thousand dollars. That's what I saved up. In my warehouse, grocery, and retail work, I saved up fifty thousand dollars. Was any of that Patreon money? No. Was it YouTube money? No. YouTube and Patreon collectively, all they ever did was support my month-to-month starting in COVID times. And, there was a little bit of income at the beginning of that to purchase a PS5, an xBox, a new microphone, and a Retro Take [?]. I've kept my promise of the Patreon money going towards upgrading the equipment.
So, the other fifty thousand dollars... I burned, not gambling, but on women! Oh, no! Isn't that illegal? Not in Las Vegas. Actually, check that... it IS illegal in Las Vegas, but if you drive an hour west to a town called Pahrump, you will find a place where the women are taken very good care of and are not even allowed to work if they are any ounce unsafe.
Yeah, I paid for an hourly girlfriend because I was going to get married. We were testing out ring sizes - I'm a size K by the way, if ever you were wondering - my girlfriend at the time was a size L.
I thought we were going to get married, but then, a little bit of anger slipped out. One too many fights happened, and it scared her. So, I think that's ultimately what led to the breakup and then she ghosted me. She found somebody else, moved on - I mean, good for her.
Whatever. I hope she's fine, I hope she's happy but I'm fuckin' miserable. I tried the dating apps. As my late uncle said, "You can get bitter or you can get better." I'll be damned if it's not tempting to be bitter. It's hard as hell to get better, man, it's...
They say nothing worthwhile is easy, so I guess getting better's not supposed to be easy, but man, I've tried everything. I've put in an honest effort, and I have every fuckin' reason to be pissed the fuck off. And I am! So I don't apologize for any of my actions. I used my own hard-earned money to pay for an hourly girlfriend. Oh my God! God forbid, it was in a state where it's illegal!
I don't care. You can't hurt me more than it hurts to wake up every morning. I've tried pills, I've held a gun to my head but I unfortunately couldn't pull the trigger.... you name it, I've tried it. You can't hurt me with your subreddits and your little circlejerks. The fact that these things even exist is just laughable.
[laughs]
All you have to do is sit back and watch the shit storm unfold. I will bury myself, I don't need your help.
So, that's me talking to the haters.
To the people who are still supporting - maybe not so much anymore because you see how angry I really am - you know, I appreciate it. I appreciate all the people who have said I've helped out... because when you're able to bury all this anger and put out a gaming video and actually talk about something you're passionate about, not worry about the shit storm that's going to brew as a result, it's a good time. It's a good thing.
But, those days are over, man.
[holding up right hand to count on fingers]
Now, all we're left with is no money, no career, no love interest, no long-standing love, family relationships are crumbling because of politics, friendships - are we on the other hand yet? Fuck this hand!
[puts down right hand]
We are losing our friends and our family is in turmoil because... politics. It's the Fourth of July! What is there to celebrate? Give me one reason why anybody's fighting for this country. Free speech? Is that- That might be the only thing I could get behind. The fact that I can rant like this and there's no reprecuss-
Somebody's gonna call the sheriff. You know what happened? Somebody's gonna call the sheriff on me and say I need help. You know what happened? The sheriff came into my apartment and he offered to have a beer with me. So, if you were hoping I would get into trouble and be brought in as a terrorist, like some of these fuckers think... well, apparently, you're an idiot, because the sheriff came in and said, "I see a lot of what you're saying and I'm willing to go have a beer with you if you want."
What's next, the FBI? What are they gonna do? Same thing.
There's a point of bullshit. Here's the level -
[indicates level of bullshit by putting his right hand above his head parallel to the ground]
It's overflowing up here -
[indicates higher level of bullshit by putting his left hand above his head parallel to the ground, higher than his right hand]
The bullshit is pouring out everywhere -
[uses both hands to indicate an overflowing of bullshit]
You'd have to be stupid not to see it. Give me one reason to celebrate the freedom of this fuckin' horseshit of a country. Give me one reason to celebrate the troops. I don't care. They're gonna blow off fireworks and be like, "Yeah, Donald Trump, yeah!" Stick it up your ass and blow it out that way! The opposite, even! "Joe Biden, yeah!"
[unintelligible]
How about - how about the next debate, we just watch them both shoot each other while we eat chicken wings in the name of freedom. And then the Green Party comes, and the Green Party has an upset, like the underdog of a sports team, and suddenly, a voice of reason comes into the nation, and Americans fuckin' freak out...
That'd be hilari-
I would - I would hold a Super Bowl party for that. I would be like, yes, everybody come over, this is fantastic! This is what we've been waiting for, the revolution we've been waiting for, man!
Just watching the shit just, unfold the way it's supposed to be. Because, if you think - how -
How did it come to this? These two, they're almost as bad as Hitler! I - I don't even want to justify their names! I'd rather say Hitler's name than Trump or Biden.
That - That's as far as I'll go into politics, man. I just want to see it all burn the fuck down and have true freedom come back, but I'm an angry young man. I'm not even young anymore, my belly is proof of that. That was the number one answer on Family Feud the other night - they had said, "Name something on your body that's not the same as it was when you were eighteen years old?" The number one answer was "your stomach." That is certainly the first sign of getting older that I've seen, but that's neither here nor there.
There was a chance I was gonna live in England. I probably would have been happier, man, living in England. I don't think I would have driven, I would have just been a public transportation person. But, it all fell through, and now I'm here, in the greatest fuckin' country in the world.
Meanwhile, I met a woman in Thailand who gave me a lucky elephant - UNRELATED to the Republican Party with their fuckin' elephant. Thailand stands for "free land", and I know two people - one guy I worked with on the beach, one guy I went to high school with - they moved to Thailand. The one guy opened his own restaurant, the other guy's working for his dad's business, and they are both phenomenally happy. So much happier than they would be in America, so maybe Thailand is where it's at.
I don't know, but it's the Fourth of July, man. I'm sitting here by myself with nothing - no sleep, cold ziti, couple things to drink, and a lot of time to be angry and watch these comments unfold, and see this subreddit blow up. I'm done getting on my knees, sucking these dicks.
Fuck it, man. I have nothing to apologize for. I worked hard for my money, I worked hard being the nice guy, doing what I was told, and I got fucked over.
I'm angry, so forgive me for using my hard-earned savings to have a little fun while I'm still young, before my belly is too big, before I don't have energy to even stand up anymore. I wanted to have a little bit of fun with some beautiful women and pretend - feel loved - even if I could only afford an hour.
That's what I wanted, and that's what I got, and now I'm broke as fuck as a result. It's my own fault, those are the consequences. I don't need any other social consequences, like, "How dare you do that?" Well, you know what? How dare you get pot. Since sixth grade, people have known who to talk to to get marijuana. It was illegal back then. It's not illegal everywhere now, but it's still illegal -
Here's a challenge for you. Do you think it's easier to get marijuana in the United States or a gun? Because some people think that all my talk about guns was terroristic, if that's a word. People want to label me a terrorist, like I'm gonna be the next school shooter or something. No, no, but it probably is easier to get a gun than it is to get marijuana, I would - I would imagine.
I've held a gun... to my head once. I've taken pills, and I've held a gun to my head, and I couldn't pull the trigger. Go figure. That's hard to do. Give it a try. If you have access to guns, go into the bathroom, do what I did. Stare at yourself right in the mirror, tell yourself you're fuckin' shit and just... feel that finger get closer and closer but you just can't do it. You just can't, because you think about your niece and your nephew, or whoever - whatever little fuckin' morsel of family you have left that you can redeem. Whoever the fuck in your life is holding on by a thread that you could possibly life another day for, you think about that person and then, guess what? It's hard to pull the trigger.
That's what I would use a gun for, and because of that, I probably can't get one, although there's one in that room right over there. It's locked though, I don't think I can get in there. If my family ever saw this, they'd be like, "Jesus Christ, never come back to our house because we can't trust you." Not that I would do it, but...
That's - that's the thing. People hear these things and they see it, they see the anger behind it, and they see - Holy shit, that actually is cause for concern. But, just like comedians that say they're gonna go like this -
[uses arms and hands to mimic driving a vehicle]
- clear out the herd a little bit, you think it, but you don't do it. That's the difference between being on the inside and the outside. That's just where we are. We're pissed off but we're - there's nobody to take it out on except for yourself. That is what I know how to do.
I would never hurt somebody else, as much as I'd really fuckin' like to sometimes, it would never happen. I would much rather shoot myself in the head, cut myself, stab myself, go stand in traffic, any of those things than... take it out on somebody else. Because that's all I know how to do. Like I said, the bullshit is here -
[uses right hand above head to indicate bullshit level parallel to ground]
- it's overflowing, you'd have to be stupid to not see it -
[uses left hand higher than right hand above head to indicate bullshit level raising, hand parallel to ground; puts both hands down]
- and when the bullshit overflows so much, you can't hold it in anymore. There's literally no capacity to keep it enclosed, it's gonna blow up.
Cold ziti, man. I'm staring at it. I don't want it.
[sighs]
"God Bless America," it says right there. There's a thing that says "God Bless America." I just ask why. Why? For what? Why God bless
America and not every other fuckin' piece of land on this stupid globe that's overheating?
Basically, I guess I'm asking you - give me one reason to live. Give me a reason to not be pissed off, because I don't see it.
There's not anything happy in this world that is happy enough to counter the negative. It takes - psychologically, statistically - it takes two positives to beat one negative, so you need a lot of fuckin' happy puppies to roll around on the floor with to undo the damage that has been done in this fuckin' world, in this fuckin' country.
I'm gonna get called a communist or something, whatever, dude. I don't know the political word for what I am. I'll tell you what it is: pissed off! That's what it is. I'm not a liberal, I'm not a conservative, I'm not a socialist, I'm not a communist, I might be an anarchist...
I am a threat. I would love to go to a debate and assassinate everybody.
[laughs]
That would make me laugh hysterically, just to see everybody dodging bullets... just, these idiots who think they have power. How much power do you have when you're bleeding out? You're just going to cry like a bitch like the rest of us.
That's what I want, I want to see all the cheaters and the liars and the jackasses just suffer, that's what I want. I want revenge for how fucked up an honest effort has gone - it's gone awry, man. I don't know.
Count it, man. One, two, three, four, five... these are all seconds to ponder these thoughts. There's not - there's not - Who am I gonna talk to, the dogs? The window? The God Bless America sign?
Fireworks are gonna start going off... what am I gonna do? Have a protein shake? Work out? Punch a bag? Nothing works, nothing works! It's just horseshit.
You wouldn't believe the effort it has taken to keep all this down, to give you seven years of an honest effort, which I'm gonna continue. But... I don't know... it's quiet. Too quiet.
[sighs]
The Fourth of fuckin' July.
[laughs]
This is where it got us. Fuckin' thirty-six years, man, and we're sitting in a house by ourselves, a house that we paid nothing for, that we'll never have in our lives, especially now that we threw away our savings... what's next? What is next? At this point, the nomad lifestyle seems like the way to - we just gotta pack up and go, even if we have to go unshowered for like, two months before we can finally find somebody that's willing to let us use their shower. Maybe, that's - that's where we're at. I don't know.
I don't want this! I don't want a house. I don't want the luxury -
I tried! I tried, man, and it's fucked up. There's too many social games you have to play and I don't trust a goddamn soul on this planet. I don't even trust my family, man. Politics has invaded and ripped apart my family and... yeah.
I don't know who I can trust anymore. It's just me and I'm angry as fuck. The dogs - I trust the dogs because dogs are sweethearts and they can do no wrong. If they poop in the house, they're still sweet. But, I don't know...
I don't want a house. I don't want to own pets. All I ever wanted was a companion in life, I think, and I gave it an honest effort. It's gotten me nowhere. I don't know...
Try it, subreddit people. Steal more of my shit and make me out to be a villain. Tell the FBI I'm a terrorist. Tell them I'm going to assassinate at the next debate and laugh about it, see what happens. Guarantee the FBI will come to my house and offer to take me out for a beer, because they'll be like -
[laughs]
- "You know what, you're right, dude!" I think I'm right on the money, and that's the human condition. Everybody thinks they're right there.
It takes a lot to forgive, it takes a lot to forget, it takes a lot to change opinions, and... this is America. God bless America! Americans do not change their opinion, they think they're fuckin' right and it's a fuckin' hideous piece-of-shit-patriotic-laughing-stock-shove-it-up-your-ass-I-pray-to-God-thefirework-is-aimed-the-opposite-way-so-it-blows-up-inside-of-you kind of a country. That - that's what I think.
God fucking damnit, I hate life!
[laughs]
Man! Oh, this sucks so bad. It's just the seconds that you have to tolerate... they don't make medicine for this. People think 'shrooms, pot, LTSD, ketamine... there's nothing. I can't even remember the last time I laughed, man!
You just gotta tolerate it. There's nothing you can do but just... maybe heat the ziti up so it's actually warm. Enjoy it, instead of it being lukewarm, cold in the middle... but then again, what's the fuckin' point? It's just gonna get cold inside of you anyway so you might as well eat it cold. It's not like you're serving somebody beautiful that you have to impress. You're just eating it for your fuckin' self. At that point, you might as well eat dog shit. There's a whole bunch outside.
Maybe I'll do that today. In celebration of American freedom, I'll eat dog shit.
God, I'm angry.
[laughs; sighs]
I can only damage my reputation so far before it's just... gone, man. But I don't care, I don't care anymore. I want to watch it all burn, and I would love to say goodbye before it does.
But there might be a Zelda randomizer in the future... or the Shire video game and we'll forget about how we really feel.
Just... fake it. Fake it 'til you make it, like they say. Well, must be easy to fake when you have money.
Fuck it all, that's what I say.
[to the dogs]
You dogs wanna go outside? Before the fireworks of dumbassess go off?
). After asking him questions on how he got tricked, he told me he got into smoking meth and had meth sex with this tranny. This was the start of him skitzo messaging me. While I think it's disgusting for someone to have sex with a tranny and discuss his adventures with me, I found it slightly entertaining so I kept him around.
where he posted 
