Horrorcow Cecily Kellogg / CecilyK / Uppercase Woman - unrepentant terrible human being liked by no one.

[RI 360]

I poppped some popcorn and watched Cecile's Facebook post about refusing to be united.

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=10153962411255373&id=605100372

Someone (Deb Ng who is awesome for calling out stupid shit as she sees it) correctly noticed Cecily is part of the divide problem when she assumes anyone who didn't vote for Hillary is racist. Of course Cesspool and her friends jumped all over her. Anyone who doesn't agree with Cecily and that idiot Marcy Massura are racist.

After watching the comments and Cecily 's other posts It's clear to me she's her happiest when she's shit stirring and causing drama. She doesn't care about her causes, she too busy masturbating to the discourse around her. She is a vile, evil, twat.

Archived for posterity. It's like they think Trump is going to legalize rape and slavery.

 

[JudgingYou]

You mean the boys you PURPOSELY KILLED after a doctor told you to cut back on your salt intake and then said you were RELIEVED to see gone? Also, where did this "My landlord raped me when I was 17" thing come from? Is it even true? Because even if it is, damn that guy must have been desperate.

Fuck you, Cecily, you literal piece of shit human garbage. If Trump really is the fascist pussy-grabbing asshole you and your SJW ilk are reeeeing about, I hope he puts you in the concentration camp first, you fucking sow. At least maybe then your daughter might go to a family that actually loves her as a person and not as a prop for e-penis and asspats.

The rape story has been told before but it changes every time. It sucks to say it but no one believes it really happened. Cecily's made up stories are the reason no one believes true victims. I hate her.

 

[exceptionalgoogle]

LOLS FOREVER at Marcy Massura's FB page. Post after post about RACISTS and she HATES these people, EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS, and SHE OPPOSES HATRED. Don't get me started on this bitch.

Spoiler: powerlevel and peripheral character in this gruesome cast

The agency she works for, MSL Group, is one of many my employer uses, and Marcy has been called in as a "specialist" to present to us on social media topics. She's a very unpleasant woman who thinks she's cute and funny, but really just comes across as trying desperately to pretend she's cool and in the know. She sees herself as some comedian in the making or a Nora Ephron type. It's painful to be in one of her presentations and watch her expectant eyes begging you to laugh at her stupid jokes. But worse than that, she's a poser who knows less than I do about this shit but passes herself off as a "specialist." Worst of all, she's one of the most bitchy, bitter (but pretending to be sunny and bright) people I have ever met. She has a lot of nerve talking about other people being hateful. She's a miserable cunt.

As for Cecily, yeah, this new president just gave her endless "MUH VICTIMHOOD!" content for four years. She's thrilled.

 

[JudgingYou]

LOLS FOREVER at Marcy Massura's FB page. Post after post about RACISTS and she HATES these people, EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS, and SHE OPPOSES HATRED. Don't get me started on this bitch.

Spoiler: powerlevel and peripheral character in this gruesome cast

The agency she works for, MSL Group, is one of many my employer uses, and Marcy has been called in as a "specialist" to present to us on social media topics. She's a very unpleasant woman who thinks she's cute and funny, but really just comes across as trying desperately to pretend she's cool and in the know. She sees herself as some comedian in the making or a Nora Ephron type. It's painful to be in one of her presentations and watch her expectant eyes begging you to laugh at her stupid jokes. But worse than that, she's a poser who knows less than I do about this shit but passes herself off as a "specialist." Worst of all, she's one of the most bitchy, bitter (but pretending to be sunny and bright) people I have ever met. She has a lot of nerve talking about other people being hateful. She's a miserable cunt.

As for Cecily, yeah, this new president just gave her endless "MUH VICTIMHOOD!" content for four years. She's thrilled.

If we're going there let me tell you what I know about Marcy Massura. She's in P.R. And spent a couple of years commuting from Cali to NYC and pretending she's this big family mom instead of someone who chose dollars over family. She spent the better part of every year away from her kids but she's the best mom ever. Like Cecily shes all about posting TMI about her perfect kids.

Marcy is all "do you know who I am?" She's a snob and a bitch in every sense of the word and seriously overestimates her importance. I don't know when I've ever disliked someone more.

 

[exceptionalgoogle]

If we're going there let me tell you what I know about Marcy Massura. She's in P.R. And spent a couple of years commuting from Cali to NYC and pretending she's this big family mom instead of someone who chose dollars over family. She spent the better part of every year away from her kids but she's the best mom ever. Like Cecily shes all about posting TMI about her perfect kids.

Marcy is all "do you know who I am?" And absolutely whines if blogging conferences dont pick her to keynote. They don't and she bitches because she's the most important importanter who ever importanted. My favorite part is when she commits to speaking at conferences and doesn't show up. She does that a lot. Then there was the time she spoke at a conference and no one showed up to watch her. She told everyone who would listen the conference sucked even though it was her own fault because no one had any shits to give about Marcy Massura speaking at conferences,

She's a snob and a bitch in every sense of the word and seriously overestimates her importance. I don't know when I've ever disliked someone more.

Yeah, my coworkers who had to deal with her more regularly than I do all found her extremely obnoxious and self-important. She carriest mid-level designer bags (vinyl Burberry you can get on sale on Overstock, Coach, that kind of tryhard shit) and thinks she's the queen of the O.C. Marcy has often tried to make out that her husband is extremely wealthy and that she doesn't have to work, but they are low income for Orange County. I laugh out loud every time I hear about her "Don't you know who I am?" shit with conferences and that's why I found it hilarious when she was straining to be entertaining in her presentations and everyone was checking their email or playing Candy Crush while she was acting like it was her debut at the Improv. Since that hasn't quite worked out for her, it looks like she thinks being a chest thumping SJW is where she'll find real recognition. Sit the fuck down and take as many chairs as your fat ass needs, you ugly wannabe. Linking up with Cecily Kellogg as a path to success? Bitch really is fucking re7arded.

At least she can scam her way into a paycheck, though. No such luck for Cecily and Charlie. Some gems from his blog:

If stress were money I could pay off the mortgage on my house...and yours too.

___________

Why does the same collection agency call me six times a day? Do they think I'm likely to find a gold bar under my couch. "Oh that's where I put that silly thing."

___________

Why do collection agents with transparently Indian accents say their names are "Randy" or "Dan"? Do they think their dishonesty will bring out the best in me?

Bearing in mind these quotes are from BEFORE they filed bankruptcy, were unable to keep up with the modest monthly bankruptcy payments (around $350/month), and had to go into foreclosure and lose $75k worth of home equity because they couldn't make enough to pay off the past $3000 on their house....DOES THIS SOUND LIKE SOMEONE WHO SHOULD BE WASTING TIME SPEWING FEELS ON FB ABOUT POLITICS?! They live in a fucking ghetto where their 10 year old daughter plays with trash and broken bottles in a vacant lot and walks herself a mile to her glorified daycare where she hasn't yet learned how to write at a first grade level. Why exactly are these stupid fucks spending ANY time on social media, let alone vomiting emotions about a fucking election?????? GET A JOB!!!!!

I hate them.

 

[Mage Of The Patriarchy]

"Pussy ears"? What the hell

Tori's wearing a black cat-ear headband in that pic of the whole family. It's a little hard to see them against the background.

No idea why that commenter chose to say "pussy" instead of "cat", which would've avoided the lexical ambiguity.

 

[exceptionalgoogle]

So while Charlie sticks to his lifelong goal of being unemployable (again, his word, not an exaggeration or misrepresentation), he's still fetishizing the homeless.

(Nice shade, @veseykenney.)

What gets me is how these people put much more time and effort into dodging employment and negotiating with debt collectors, banks, bankruptcy lawyers, judges, foreclosure attorneys, and the like than it would take them to simply GET A FUCKING JOB.

I know Cecily and Charlie fancy themselves east coast liberal elite (lol) members of the intelligentsia, but I can't think of anyone I have ever met who is as fucking dumb as these two lazy pieces of shit.

 

[glass_houses]

Tori's wearing a black cat-ear headband in that pic of the whole family. It's a little hard to see them against the background.

No idea why that commenter chose to say "pussy" instead of "cat", which would've avoided the lexical ambiguity.

I saw the ears but the "pussy" set me aback. It's fucking creepy. I want to be generous and say that it's probably one of those "Take back the English language for wimenz!" cringe things, but... no. Just no. "Pussy" as in "cat" isn't entirely gone, but it's getting there. And in order to tell Tori that she has to bring back the word, she has to be told what, exactly, she's bringing back. At best the person commenting is an idiot with the same fucked up stupidity as Cecily. At worst, Tori has herself a groomer.

 

[Dog Prom 3D]

"Pussy ears"? What the hell


Being a victim is the best (and probably only) way to win that she has. She's a strong, powerful, :autism:Fierce :autism: woman fighting the good fight against the white cishet patriarchy. The harder she gets knocked down, the more valiantly she gets back on her feet. She is a warrior!

Also, her being a perpetual victim means that it's other people's fault that she's a worthless piece of shit

Her overuse of "fierce" to mean feral, unwashed, loud, stupid, brash and unable to squeeze her bloated into airline seats caused me to stop using the word a few years back though I'm sure I slip from time to time. Cecily really does ruin everything.

 

[Splendid]

Her overuse of "fierce" to mean feral, unwashed, loud, stupid, brash and unable to squeeze her bloated into airline seats caused me to stop using the word a few years back though I'm sure I slip from time to time. Cecily really does ruin everything.

No, the word fierce was always cancer.

 

[exceptionalgoogle]

Speaking of cancer, Cecily's website. My God, I have never seen a more careless lump of gristle trying to pass herself off as a professional writer. Check this shit:

Through her agency Double Good Media, Cecily has handled social media account [sic] for a variety of clients from SaaS to startups to consumer good [sic]. She's worked with both B2B and B2C and understand[sic] the differences [sic]. Her deep experience in the field is unmatched.

Is she trying NOT to get hired, so she can keep collecting welfare checks? Hilariously, this dumb cunt was giving advice on career longevity at an event last year in Philly:

The key to career longevity and the ability to find rewarding new challenges is treating yourself as a brand – that is, communicating the skills, values and interests you offer to the people and organizations who could benefit from those talents. This interactive roundtable discussion will explore the powerful ways in which social media networks can help establish your personal brand and invigorate your contact network. Together we will explore how to utilize Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Blogs [sic] to build your brand.

Please, God, let there be video of this shitshow.

 

[JudgingYou]

More additions to the Chronicles of @CecilyK. Like anyone needs more evidence this woman is a complete dillhole. Her digital footprint spreads far and wide. Deleting her blog was a complete waste of time because her douchebaggery lives on and on in the interwebs including her deleted blog. But we'll get to that later.

Cecily gets sick at the end of every month. It's always a very public illness so to prove to her one and only client she is too sick to work but not too sick to post it on Facebook and Twitter. She has a long history with the "Deadline Flu."

Cecily is offering advice to her "hijab-wearing friends" because she has so many of them.

Cecily Kellogg will gladly take a bullet for "the brown boys."

The "hijab-wearing friends" and "brown boys" aren't the only ones who need Cecily's protection. Poor, poor, gender confused I mean "gender non conforming" Tori isn't safe anymore. To hear Cecily tell it she's crying inconsolably.

Spoiler: She has fears. FEARS!

"I am at a loss. I am terrified for my lovely and sweet gender-non-conforming child," said Cecily Kellogg, mom to a 10-year-old daughter and founder of a content marketing and social media management firm."I don't know what to say. I can only hold her, let her cry and tell her I will keep her safe."

Cecily Kellogg is an unsung artist with amazing talents for producing one of a kind original art.

Maybe she borrowed some ideas along the way. Originality is so overrated.

Cecily Kellogg, Accountability Coach, forgets what an asshole she is. It's my pleasure to remind her.

One of Cecily's clients was Shot at Life. They provide vaccines to kids in need. Cecily shilled for them and got her lecture on about why kids need to get vaccinated.

Except oooops.

Cecily doesn't cotton well to cultural appropriation.

Unless

There is no bandwagon she won't jump on.

Then there was the time Cecily and Charlie got their giant granny panties in a bunch because they were stuck in line at a police sobriety check point. God forbid anyone try to keep a community safe from holiday weekend drunk drivers. What a couple of selfish twats they are.

Cecily Kellogg of Philadelphia, PA is well known for having Redbull begathons on Twitter.

Her surrogates even shill for her.

Sweet Score!!!

Some of the archives from Cecily Kellog's thought to be deleted forever blog "Uppercase Woman." One day when I have the time I'll sift through it all for gems.

http://archive.is/archive.feedblitz.com
http://archive.is/http://feeds.feedburner.com/UppercaseWoman
https://web.archive.org/web/20110801000000*/http://feeds.feedburner.com/UppercaseWoman

Her original "Wasted Birth Control"
http://archive.is/http://zia.blogs.com/wastedbirthcontrol/

 

[Roast Chicken]

Asked for Red Bull Fairy, gets Diabetes Fairy instead.

 

[JudgingYou]

Cecily's famous "Milkshake" post. Don't read on an empty or full stomach.

My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard
Years ago I dated this cellist. We lived together--even moved to the suburbs at the end--but it ended badly. One day I came home from work and I thought we’d been robbed, but he had just moved out (he’s the author of the famous note: “Cec--I thought about our relationship and moved”).

A few weeks later we ran into each other at a bar and he told me all about the new girl he was dating (yep, I was an idiot--I let him tell me). Suddenly, he got this wistful look on his face and said, “But she doesn’t give head like you do...” When I heard he married that girl I remember thinking now he’ll be missing me for the rest of his LIFE.

I share this story by way of qualifying.

I’ve been reading up on what other people say about blow jobs on line. There’s plenty of good information out there; pretty much anything I write is going to be obvious and redundant. So read here, here and here. Also, it’s almost impossible to write about this without sounding smug, pornographic, or clinical. I’ll do my best, but I’m sure a lot of you at home will say, “Oh, I knew that. Tell me something new!”

Secondly, I have to admit to three things. First off, I have little or no gag reflex, thanks to years of bulimia. So for those of you who asked me about how to not gag, well, what can I say. Secondly, I have a huge mouth. HUGE. It may not look like it, but I can open my mouth really, really wide. Third--and this one is the hardest to admit--but I don’t like receiving. Don’t ask me why, I simply don’t. It doesn’t work for me. I’m still a feminist, I promise.

Given those three things, I admit to the advantage.

Here we go.

This first tip is for both men and women. It’s critical.

FORGET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE SEEN IN PORN.

Porn head, I’m sure, feels like shit. The blow jobs in porn are meant to LOOK good--not to FEEL good. Remember, as lousy as they may be, these people are ACTORS. Male porn stars spurt on cue--not because of anything being done to them. What you are looking at when you see a porno is FAKE. You cannot learn anything from those people.

Unless you rent gay porn. THAT you can learn from.

For the boys--you cannot expect your woman to look like a porn star when she sucks you off. Trust me. Close your eyes and concentrate on what feels good, not what looks good.

Second critical tip: KNOW WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.

If you can’t deep throat without gagging, don’t do it. Vomiting on his dick is NOT SEXY. There are plenty of ways to avoid putting the whole thing in your mouth and still be good at it, I promise. Most involve fingers and wrapping them tight and wet around the base. Move with your hand with your mouth and trust me he’s gonna be happy.

If you don’t like to swallow then figure out what the fuck you ARE going to do when the time comes. Talk about it. Me, I’d rather swallow than clean up later. If you don’t mind cleaning up, tell the dude what parts you don’t mind getting coated. I, for one, don’t permit much on the face (although an occasional chin drop is accepted). I got it in my eye once and it burned for like a DAY (now you know why porn stars squeeze their eyes shut so tight even though that doesn’t look hot at all).

About gagging. You have a dick in your mouth. Sometimes you are going to gag. Expecting to not gag EVER is insane. If you gag, just pull back, do some licking and take some deep breaths. Resume when you can. As far as how to swallow without gagging--honestly, gag away. Nothing make a man feel worse about getting head than watching you try not to gag. Take deep breaths and relax and just accept the gagging. You might get used to it, or not. Again, if you hate swallowing, plan around that.

The best part about giving head is the teasing. I become very, very focused. I lick, I breathe softly, I put my mouth around it without actually touching it except with my tongue. I do this for a long time. I frequently slide fingers or a thumb into my mouth while I’m on it softly as well. Men seems to like it when you groan while he’s in your throat too--and here’s a cool tip--groaning can STOP gagging (seems to give the throat something to do). Also, I keep my tongue firm, almost like another finger. I’m not a lips over the teeth girl--I find that hurts me after a while, and frankly, most guys don’t like it. Soft lips are great (until the end, then firm ‘em up a bit). The best way to keep teeth from being a problem is to make him lie down. This prevents him thrusting hard and catching you off guard.

The end is going to be very Hookers at the Point--all fast and furious. Staying in that place--where you are just sucking away and bouncing--is not comfortable. Your jaw aches, your throat gets chafed, maybe your saliva begins to dry up (in my opinion, giving head that way is exactly why women don’t like it--it hurts). That’s why I’ve found teasing so important--it keeps me in control and allows me to really show off. Frankly, at the end, he’s not spending much time focusing on your technique. You just go all hoover at the very end.

Now, if your guy is a hard-core face fucker, or wants a porn star/hooker-bouncy blow job, I don’t know what to say. Maybe try to retrain him. Chances are, none of this stuff is going to feel BAD to him--so you can just do this stuff as a prelude to sex (duh) and then you won’t have to worry about it (also a good way to avoid the whole swallowing issue). And know your limits. Some men like a finger up the ass to stimulate the prostate. If you can do that, more power to you. It can really move things along, or so I’ve heard, because I would NEVER stick a finger up anyone’s ass.

My last tip is this--FORGET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE READ IN WOMEN’S MAGAZINES. If it involves whipped cream or flavored anything, just forget it. All that shit tastes like wax and will only contribute to gagging. I promise.

All right. I have no more to say. Now Charlie will take over.

____________________________________________________

Cecily has covered an impressive amount of the erotic landscape of fellatio here, so I’m just gonna provide a bit of male counterpoint.

Two of the most important elements in any erotic experience have nothing to do with anatomy or technique. They are IMAGINATION and ANTICIPATION. For the typical man, the mere idea of having his cock kissed and sucked is a powerful aphrodesiac. So one of the most important parts of such an erotic encounter is therefore the beginning. This can involve surprise (e.g. being greeted upon exiting the shower) or pacing (e.g., the slow unzipping of the pants, ritualized removal of the belt, etc.). Regardless, the man will know what’s about to happen, and he will be excited by it. And the woman can use this phase to heighten his arousal.

Another thing that makes good head so exciting (for me, at least) is INTIMACY. There are few if any acts as intimate as oral sex. I’ve heard it said that during bad intercourse, the woman can plan how she wants to decorate the dining room or plan her sister’s wedding, but when giving head, she must be fully present in the act. This is true, and it really helps us men to feel loved if our lovers seem to enjoy the intimacy of giving us oral sex. (A caveat: yes, there are guys who prefer rough oral sex/oral rape, in which the whole idea is that the woman hate the act and end up with a faceful of cum. I am NOT one of those guys, so I’m not gonna address that. And if your lover IS one of those guys, you’re on your own.) So, by “enjoy,” I mean those delightful little sounds that make us feel like she’s eating the best dessert she ever tasted while she’s down there. Cecily called it a “groan”... I prefer to think of it as a “coo” or an “mmmmm.” Of course, we men know that this is acting. We’re not idiots. But we don’t care. We like it.

USE OF THE HANDS. Yes, as Cecily said, this is not only permitted but important. The gentle stroke of the fingers around the cock, then slipping in and out of the woman’s mouth can provide a powerful arousal during the TEASING phase. (Though a good grip at the base during final phase doesn’t hurt either.) As Cecily said, the TEASING part of head is essential. Not only does it provide the woman with a healthy respite from the head-bobbing, up-n-down ritual (which, by the way, is not the most stimulating part of the act for me either), but it provides the man with a chance to really enjoy the view. Men are VISUAL. We like to watch. And women’s mouths are beautiful, a fact that is erotically inescapable when they are kissing our genitals. Another important thing to remember here is MOISTURE. The erect cock craves a moist environment, so the hands (or fingers) should be wet with saliva...wet as an aroused vagina or welcoming mouth. And dry handjobs hurt.

COMMUNICATION is also important, whether verbal or via a gentle guiding hand. Both lovers should let the other know what works for them, and what doesn’t. Some of this can be worked out over cheese and crackers, other negotiations occur out of necessity during the act. Whatever the terms, make them mutual. It will improve enjoyment for everyone involved.

The FINALÉ. Cecily is right again... by this time, if all has gone properly, sanity has gone out the window, arousal is everything, and I’m not concentrating on the finer points of her technique. So whatever brings the man to orgasm best...whether that’s a wet handjob, grabbing the base and sucking the head, even the finger-up-the-ass (though that’s not my preference)...if it makes him cum, it’s right. There’s a scene in a Woody Allen film, I forget which one, where two women are talking about having the “wrong kind” of orgasm, and Allen interjects that, “even my worst one was right on the money.” That’s sort of the way it is with men.

Well, that’s about it. Hope that was helpful. Sure was fun writing it.

You have been warned.

 

[DavidFerrie]

My God, this woman and her superannuated loser hubby are walking stereotypes -- broad, cartoonish living caricatures of every hipster, SJW, or self-promoting non-entity who's ever infested the Netz.

 

[Dog Prom 3D]

Seeing a full picture of her always freaks me out. She's very short, she has such tiny hands and feet compared to her obese body, and it has to be hell on those tiny little ankles to support that massive carcass. It's weird to look at someone and have their body tell you that this was not what was intended at all. I mean, she has those dainty little ankle joints but has no neck. Her upper arms are like canned hams and they descend into narrow wrists and child-like hands. It's so jarring to see her intended biological form peeking out from what she has foisted upon herself.

 

[The Great Chandler]

She literally enjoys being an ASSHOLE. I mean she is even honest about it thoroughly and yet her mommy blogging minions decide to side with her in spite of all this. What cruel world we live in.

 

[Barbarella]

Hypocritical bandwagon jumpers like her make me wonder how people this thoughtless can exist and still have so many followers. Like a dog, they can't think past what is put in front of their nose at the moment.

Her thought process:

Women are always under attack from men, and are considered nothing but sexual objects, so let me tell you how to give a good blowjob. (How many truly powerful women discuss subjects like this?).

Her little child must be allowed to grow up unfettered from labels put on her, so she goes to a special freedom school. Yet mom insists her ten year old daughter is pansexual, a heavy label for a child. (I'm a lot older than ten and I'm not sure I could define pansexual-I know many ten year olds, and they aren't talking about sexuality. There is no doubt in my mind that Cecely came up with that idea)

Tori's childhood must be protected from the evils of Trump, but she is not discovering her interests: learning ballet, building robots, doing cheer or soccer. She's learning how to hit the wall and call 911 when mommy goes ballistic over a perceived slight. What childhood is being protected?

Cecily is a Content Strategy expert, but intellectual property is as meaningless to her as real property. Content is content for her to take and possibly make money off, no matter who creates it, amirite?

Vaccinations are incredibly important and everybody should do it-but her because she forgot, and she has to take a mid-afternoon nap. .

It's seriously dishonest to Americanize your name but it's fine to not pay bills, and "borrow" money that you'll never pay back.

The list goes on. These people have no moral compass, or any real beliefs that are meaningful. They just see the winds change and go in that direction, clinging only to victimhood, as if nothing they ever said before matters. A truly powerful woman lives in dignity and recognizes that hardships may come but so does grace. She only acknowledges (and creates) the hardships so she can whine.

It's sad for Tori.

 

[glass_houses]

Cecily's famous "Milkshake" post. Don't read on an empty or full stomach.



You have been warned.

1. A man who took his belongings and did a moonlight flight is someone she's proud to have sucked off.
2. She's a hardcore feminist but is delighted to hear all about her replacement's lack of sex skills, something that would usually be defined as 'degrading'.
3. SHE'S BULIMIC? Of course! Can't you see her wasting away? It all makes sense now.

 

[drain]

A truly powerful woman lives in dignity and recognizes that hardships may come but so does grace. She only acknowledges (and creates) the hardships so she can whine.

This is the main issue with the sjw crowd: they're professional victims. So what if they're privileged as hell, that cis man looked at their direction! Or some unimportant magazine featured a thin woman on the cover!
Honestly, all the hardships they create and whine about are all minor incoveniences (some aren't even incoveniences at all) that normal and well-adjusted people would just shrug off. They're never thankful for something, they only whine and hate. Their lives never will be full.