Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Kosher Salt]

She takes a few bites and Fatty pretends she at that entire pile of food. 3 shitty wraps, a cookie, and a churro, and a pretzel. Considering Fatty gets angy in videos when he can't eat quickly enough, it's possible they split that pile of food or just ordered more because remember, Tammy is a fatass herself as well. Fatty on the other hand is amazed that this is their flatbread product and not a tortilla(because he doesn't realize what a tortilla is...)

Eh, I could believe they took it home and Jr inhaled it while Jack ate an entire pork butt.

Good reason, no. Reason people will pay for this shit? Because they're dumb and don't realize they can do this at home? That it's Subway scraping the bottom of the barrel trying to get the cheapest thing they can on the menu while still having some margin on it?

"Thing you'd make yourself when you're drunk, but a foot long" stopped being interesting at hot dogs.

On second thought, it wasn't even that interesting at hot dogs.

Honestly, I don't even know if they're trying. Do they think this will get people in the door, or do they think people will say "well I'm already here but the goddamn sandwich is $18, maybe I'll just do this stupid roll-up"...

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Honestly, I don't even know if they're trying. Do they think this will get people in the door, or do they think people will say "well I'm already here but the goddamn sandwich is $18, maybe I'll just do this stupid roll-up"...

A lot of fast food seems convinced that the path to success for their business model is constant seasonal variety, but they also don't want to deal with needing new ingredients because that's expensive. Mcdonalds did a lot of this with their [Public figure] tie-in meals, selling the same shit with some different packaging to doll it up as an event meal. Subways basically done the same here, taking a few things they already had and just repackaging it into a new menu item. [Correction: took a quick look, technically its new since they're apparently replacing flatbread and tortillas as a whole with some new style of bread across the menu, this included. Half points, I suppose]

The problem is, its the laziest, lowest effort menu item imaginable, and doesn't have any sort of visual flare or appeal. Its just a tube, it doesn't sound particularly tasty or unique or special. Nobody is gonna think "Oh it might be a shame to miss that". Subways one of the brands thats really been struggling - and very weak, poorly executed marketing ploys like this aren't helping. They barely managed YoY sales growth coming out of Covid lockdowns, which says a lot about how shit the situation was both in and out of lockdown.

 

[indomitable snowman]

Obviously we didn't land on the moon, it's made of cheese and wouldn't hold up to the lunar lander and people walking on it.

It was filmed on a soundstage on Venus.

 

[densedance]

That Cookie alone has 1400 Calories and nearly 100 grams of Sugar btw.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

foot long dippers

edit: extreme attitude from tammy @ around 6:46
edit 2: i don't know if it's just me but this seems like one of the strangest uploads in quite a while. it's like a fever dream.

You will need an abacus to count the number of times Tammy responds “mhm” to Jack’s questions.

 

[Charlie Delicious]

foot long dippers

edit: extreme attitude from tammy @ around 6:46
edit 2: i don't know if it's just me but this seems like one of the strangest uploads in quite a while. it's like a fever dream.

"It always smells good in here"

Is Jack mid -stroke??

Subway doesn't smell good. It has this constant... Subway smell that I can't describe.

I lived above a subway for a year and it kept me away from getting subway for a decade.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Reason people will pay for this shit? Because they're dumb and don't realize they can do this at home? That it's Subway scraping the bottom of the barrel trying to get the cheapest thing they can on the menu while still having some margin on it? Subway was already pretty bad as it is and would not be on my list of places to go for a quick bite while busy, but this shit just looks awful, and is precisely the sort of thing Fatty would think is cool or whatever.

That's fast food in a nutshell. Honestly the only thing going for it is that it's convenient. It's not good for you. It's not cheap. It's not something anybody should be eating but places like that stay in business because of consoomers like Fatty. Something new comes out, he needs to try it. Why? He's a food addict.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

"It always smells good in here"

Is Jack mid -stroke??

Subway doesn't smell good. It has this constant... Subway smell that I can't describe.

I lived above a subway for a year and it kept me away from getting subway for a decade.

Its the legally-cake-but-sorta-bread crumbs, both the ones baking in the oven and the shit inevitably in every crook of the business. They have a weird "not right but not wrong" stale smell to them that's mildly offputting and impossible to cover up. The only time the place can smell vaguely nice is when they bake a new batch of the cookies in the morning, melting chocolate is always ok.

Source: worked at a competitor clone shop for years, I know the exact smell.

 

[p1138]

Subway doesn't smell good. It has this constant... Subway smell that I can't describe.

Plastic, wilted produce, and an unhealthy amount of countertop sanitizer solution.

Subways one of the brands thats really been struggling - and very weak, poorly executed marketing ploys like this aren't helping. They barely managed YoY sales growth coming out of Covid lockdowns, which says a lot about how shit the situation was both in and out of lockdown.

I recall reading a while back that Quiznos fell apart because they insisted that their franchise owners buy from their specific suppliers and then kept trying to make all of their profit purely off of that supply, so it tanked sales. I don't know if Subway requires similar, but they have practically no quality control. I can remember going to a random Subway once maybe 20 years ago that actually had fresh produce at the counter, and the place was spotless, and as it turned out the food was alright. But every other Subway location I've seen... the produce looks old, the bread tastes like shit, most of their proteins are the cheapest shit imaginable, their idea of toasting a sandwich mostly just dries it out, etc. They need a desperate revamp from the ground up about actual product quality for most sane people to imagine the place as anything other than awful. There's plenty of other sandwich chains I'd rather go to than a damned Subway.

Something new comes out, he needs to try it. Why? He's a food addict.

He also follows.. and this still blows my mind, fast food news websites on twitter. As if subway/mcdonalds/BK and so on don't do enough of their own advertising.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

I don't know if Subway requires similar, but they have practically no quality control.

Most licensed franchise chains have similar supplier restrictions, whether they have a hand in that particular company or not. A lot of the basic shit will come from GFS or a local equivalent, and then more specific stuff like the frozen bread, specialty condiments and the like will come from licensed regional suppliers. And for those who don't know GFS is like grocery shopping at a 7/11, it is the most generic and trite shit from the absolute bottom barrel of local suppliers, with them just handling the middleman work to distribute. If you needed lobster, ten gallons of sliced mushrooms, fake pork rib patties, refried beans, you name it they had it in industrial quantities.

The suppliers you can use in a given area are all gonna be defined in your franchising agreements, you could probably dig some up online and get an idea of just how much slop is involved in this shit.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

foot long dippers

edit: extreme attitude from tammy @ around 6:46
edit 2: i don't know if it's just me but this seems like one of the strangest uploads in quite a while. it's like a fever dream.

You just know that fatty ate that shit as soon as the camera stopped filming

 

[Tiresome]

It has this constant... Subway smell that I can't describe.

Bread baking in a dirty dishwasher.

 

[High-Fructose Corn Syrup]

View attachment 6157553

Here’s a candid shot of Jack enjoying the Fourth of July hayseed picnic.

Imagine being proud of being an American.
Also this FAT FUCK is a perfect example of why you don't consume HFCS.
High-Fructose corn Syrup is like ingesting poison. Only this poison kills your body in phases over the long term. It's not surprising this FAT FUCK has had as many strokes as he has had.
There IS a link between HFCS and strokes due to its high fructose content and its potential impact on metabolic health. There is no doubt in my mind that this guy has and still consumes large amounts of HFCS in every meal he eats and every drink he drinks.

 

[Wendell Stamps]

What's worse, the idea of being trapped on a spaceship for 9 months with Jack while it slow transfers to Mars? Or the realization that everyone aboard needs to have a job to be worth bringing, so the only reason Jack could possibly be there is as a mission cook.

I’m going to be a little optimistic and say “test subject.” The man is somehow a testament to the durability of the human body and its mind, even if that mind is as seemingly close to being a sentient rock as possible.

 

[Andoxico]

Jack is finally picking up on the fact he may be getting trolled

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Jack is finally picking up on the fact he may be getting trolled
View attachment 6175489

I doubt that it's the right people, though. Someone probably said he looked a bit unhealthy and was wondering about his well being

 

[ZipDisk]

Jack almost admitted he's going to eat before he eats. "We might check out their other footlong stuff"

4 intros. Car, fart music classic, Robot wheeled taco, 90's MTV reality rock.

Jack found a 1990's subway.

Jack has a cheese sauce cup in front of him but covets the hidden tammy cheese cup.

Tammy is the eating creature because of the Meato larp. The "channel" is now literally a feeder channel.

Jack treats tammy like a dog. "now dip it".

I love the sickly employee coughing throughout the video, it really sets the vibe.

THEY DIBDENT WARM UP THE CHEESE CUP

Jack lectures Tammy for eating a churro, she stands up to him. Normally that would be great, but she's having to eat an entire table of austerity fast food at the whim of her crippled husband.

Fast food really has dropped into sadness bowl/failure piles.

Jack gives this shit an A.

As to the legally cake stuff, that's a retarded fucking anecdote. Ireland wanted more tax money, so they classify sugar in bread by weight.

I agree that almost all American bread is too sweet, but the "legally cake" shit is the anecdote a dumb shit drops at a dinner party. It's like how taco bell meat is 80% meat. That doesn't mean it's 10% iguana and 10% umbrella parts, it's spices and filler. I always thought taco bell meat tasted a bit like oatmeal back in the 90's, and that's probably what they used as a "binding" agent.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I recall reading a while back that Quiznos fell apart because they insisted that their franchise owners buy from their specific suppliers and then kept trying to make all of their profit purely off of that supply, so it tanked sales.

It didn't help that the quality of the ingredients went down but the prices stayed the same.

I agree that almost all American bread is too sweet, but the "legally cake" shit is the anecdote a dumb shit drops at a dinner party. It's like how taco bell meat is 80% meat. That doesn't mean it's 10% iguana and 10% umbrella parts, it's spices and filler. I always thought taco bell meat tasted a bit like oatmeal back in the 90's, and that's probably what they used as a "binding" agent.

Exactly. It's like the old meme that was going around a while back saying things like, "Kraft Singles are one molecule away from being plastic". Which is meaningless. Table salt is one molecule away from being chlorine gas but guess what? It's not the same thing. Besides "plastic" when applied to something like Kraft Singles refers to it's physical structure and how it melts. It has nothing to do with it being made of petroleum polymers.

But to people who don't know chemistry or basic science it's a big scary word.

 

[._.]

Subways one of the brands thats really been struggling - and very weak, poorly executed marketing ploys like this aren't helping. They barely managed YoY sales growth coming out of Covid lockdowns, which says a lot about how shit the situation was both in and out of lockdown.

Its kind of insane to me too because its one of the most reviled fast food franchises with the worst public image, but I saw Good Mythical Morning did an episode ranking the most expensive fast food items and it turns out this Subway 'The Beast' sandwich they review is EIGHTEEN dollars. Its wild, they say the sandwich is advertised as basically the meat mountain, 'double' the toppings and 1/2 lb of meat on a footlong, and they on the show kind of tear into it.

I remembered it as being 'double everything' but seeing its actual '1/2 lb of meat', its an even worse deal--Im lucky to live near a city and they have local burger places, even local chains where I can go and get a 1/2lb double burger and fries for like 9 dollars or so, maybe a combo for 10ish. And it may not be 'big', and I think fast food still clinging to the 'brain small, big thing good' is stupid, but Im getting the same amount of stuff technically for half the price and the quality is better. They have to be trying to tank the company.

Its why I hate fast food, and I know the parent company owns a few other franchises, but I also think they rely on people like Jack, who live in these rural-exurban, kinda shitty places. My dad sold his moms estate when she died and moved to 'ranchland' like Jack so hes living in a place similar to Jacks where you drive like 5-10 miles and the 'neighborhood store' is a gas station with a franchise restaurant in a stripmall with a Dollar General, a branch of a vet, a emergency doctor, a volunteer fire department and some restaurants. With my dad the stripmall has both a Subway and a Schlotzskys (owned by the same parent company), I think a Sonic, and a McDonalds across the street--so its kind of the bottom of the barrel where they get by with the worst quality and kinda service because youd have to drive another however many miles to get to town/the city and then through the city to get wherever.

 

[Tiresome]

I doubt that it's the right people, though. Someone probably said he looked a bit unhealthy and was wondering about his well being

I'm in the BEST HEALTH OF MY LIFE, MOM.