🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[David Brown]

he won't stand next to another man without his big boy booster shoes and cowboy hat on

The cowboy hat part is so funny. It's like a kid with a security blanket or teddy bear except hilarious.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

He won't take his shirt off, he won't be measured and weighed and he won't stand next to another man without his big boy booster shoes and cowboy hat on. That's why he will never participate in an organized fight. He should stop embarrassing himself by offering to fight people because everyone knows he will back out and look like a coward, impulsive piggy is definitely back on the sauce.

I just now realized Ralph never takes his shirt off. Lol imagine acting like a tough guy when you wear t shirts in a hot tub because you know how gross your fat little body is

 

[Dr Naomi Hunter]

Do we know how tall Aaron is? Either way Ralph will look funny as a retarded 5’1” midget next to someone a normal height.

 

[SargonF00t]

Do we know how tall Aaron is? Either way Ralph will look funny as a retarded 5’1” midget next to someone a normal height.

I think Aaron is 6'1"

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

OK, [your whole post was] quite informative and I think you have sold me on Aaron beating the Gunt. I would expect to Ralph to scurry away at some point from now though. This fight needs to happen.

The only fights Ralph will ever be in are ass beatings where he is cornered and can’t run away.

Which is why in his long history of mouth running and many paid opportunities to fight, his only “fights” are two ass beatings on the streets of Portugal.

I think everyone was shocked at how pathetic Gunt was when Dan put him on the ground in Portugal with next to no effort. Gunt didn’t even fight back, he had the defense instincts of a goldfish out of water. It did explain why he got turned into absolute mince meat during the first fight in Portugal. Dan was just having a laugh bullying Gunt but still had him on the ground a bleeding with almost no effort and using restraint. Almost any man putting in a little effort could turn Ralph into pulp.

Him losing weight is almost worse for any fight. He has less padding for punches and he had next to no muscle mass before losing weight, but any he did have melted away with the fat. He’s weak, flabby and gets tired just walking. Your average woman could body him.

 

[GaryGray]

I just now realized Ralph never takes his shirt off. Lol imagine acting like a tough guy when you wear t shirts in a hot tub because you know how gross your fat little body is

On a few occasions he would lift up his shirt which lead the the discovery of his quad tits. Another time was after he got the blue car totaled where he showed off a massive chest bruise.

 

[Elmo]

Ralph only fights women, so there's no way this will happen. Then again, Aaron is not a real maaaaan.

 

[Razz]

Given that Ralph's entire history with violent confrontation is as follows: backing out of Keemstar sponsored professional boxing match against Andy Warski, getting beaten up twice on two separate trips to Portugal, being beaten up by a mentally retarded girl and a group of emaciated TIMs, and getting elbowed in the jaw during the bowling tournament in Texas (after which he made security hold the guy down so he could kick him in the head a few times), it's unlikely this will go in his favour.

If it even happens, of course.

He'll probably come up with some lame excuse to back out of it, he's probably deep in his cups at the moment which has him feeling froggy.

You forgot backing out of a fight with a woman.

 

[Mynameisdark]

The way Ralph was talking about the "event/fight" was incredibly delusional. Including a clause that the "card" is subject to change, using wrestling jargon to hype up the "match", negotiation over the "purse" before Aaron even agreed to the fight.
So Ralph is already scheming to drop out suddenly, and he's already planned how to spend the scammed money.
Aaron's counter offer was pay your own way, and for every minute in the ring Aaron will give Ralph $1,000. Ralph would never except that.

 

[Pitbull Victim]

In addition to what everyone else has already said, Ralph is also a 40 year-old smoker and probably has shit depth perception because of his busted eye.

He'll come up with some bullshit excuse about "not bein treated how the Ralphamale deserves" and drop out for sure.

 

[Balldo's Gate]

Aaron has accepted his challenge will address this in his show tomorrow

Aaron: "I will address your angle"

My suspicion was this terminology was wrestling garbage and apparently that's correct.

Why are these people all obsessed with pro wrestling?

 

[Malaika]

Some years ago Null was going to pay Ralph to fight someone for 5000$, the piggy accepted and weaseled out, no fucking way he's going to fight Aaron.

 

[StannisTheMannis]

Nigga, Gunt ain't doing shit.

Ralph's relevance is surviving on internet interactions that go nowhere.

Whenever the fat fuck starts a beef, he makes a burger.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Let's humor the fantasy land of Ralph not running from a fight for a moment.

If he's doing some kind of official fight card won't he have to take a physical? There's a good chance he'd have to go to the big scary doctor too. He'd bitch out for that reason alone.

He should do a street fight instead like a real pig monster.

 

[Braphamut]

He should do a street fight instead like a real pig monster.

STREETBEEFS is our only hope so expect Ralph to rule it out. Any other suggestions is traditional Ralphaclan Hide 'n Watch.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

I can’t reply but to add something to Mr E. Grifter’s very informative FWIW at the BBQ show he did a few years back EOR talked about how he’d box in his yute with other yutes from the hood. He then displayed his sparring style which, because if I’m not mistaken EOR is right-handed, was completely backwards as he was jabbing with his right.

it was pretty funny.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Whenever the fat fuck starts a beef, he makes a burger.

And that burger is a slider from White Castle

 

[Rage Pig]

Let's humor the fantasy land of Ralph not running from a fight for a moment.

The moment is over, piggy is scared.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

I'd probably go just to go to hold up a Ralph's Gunt and Blunt (Formerly Tonka's) sign. But this is peak Tonks vibes since gunt has always been too scared to step into the ring.

 

[Axiom.]

The moment is over, piggy is scared.

He wants his only butt buddy left, Mersh, to back him up.