Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Kuritan Deplorable]

So long as you aren't living off of the shit regularly it's honestly not that big of a problem.

Yup. When I've spent 14 hours on the floor at a convention, I'm going to go get the mcdonalds burger because I know exactly what I'm gonna get, its probably right beside my hotel, I'm too tired to appreciate anything fancier, and I'm hoping the food coma from all the grease helps put me to sleep. Fast food is situationally useful. If your situation constantly puts you into it being the best option, then it might be worth looking into better options - Usually some combination of meal prep habits and a nice cooler/heater in the car. Just don't try to warm up a homemade burrito at 2am while road tripping.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

 

[Tiresome]

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Jack: I'm always right. Rando: Can you name one time? Jack: If you don't know I can't help you.

Retard makes Scott Adams sound like William F. Buckley.

 

[p1138]

I mean there's very few cases I'll get fast food. Either I have literally no time, I'm nowhere near my place and need food now or it's 2am and the cupboards are bare. So it's either roast a turkey from the freezer or hit up the drive thru.

Yup. When I've spent 14 hours on the floor at a convention, I'm going to go get the mcdonalds burger because I know exactly what I'm gonna get, its probably right beside my hotel, I'm too tired to appreciate anything fancier, and I'm hoping the food coma from all the grease helps put me to sleep. Fast food is situationally useful. If your situation constantly puts you into it being the best option, then it might be worth looking into better options - Usually some combination of meal prep habits and a nice cooler/heater in the car. Just don't try to warm up a homemade burrito at 2am while road tripping.

It's funny how we realize there are situations where fast food and shitty chains make sense. But of course none of this applies to Fatty, especially considering he's having a damned set kitchen built because he's a youtube chef. Now not every chef wants to go home and immediately be cooking again, but that's yet another category that doesn't apply to Fatty. Of course how else is Fatty going to regularly consume 5,000 calories a day?

 

[Marc]

he's a youtube chef.

For as low as the bar is, that title needs an asterisk for every video on the channel (including the meals competently prepared by real chefs which Jack nonetheless found ways to ruin). Tarrare had more respect for cuisine than Jack; who ultimately only relates to food by way of insisting that an imagined audience enjoys watching him struggle with every step of eating until he has successfully overeaten. A "youtube chef" who has nothing to offer the world aside from the occasional opportunity to fuck with him by asking if the appliance behind him is a washing machine deserves an altogether different title; such as "doomed" - Jack's having a kitchen set built because he's doomed.

 

[ZipDisk]

Huh, the hate and disgust I feel for Jack is similar to my hate and disgust at Tarrare.

Tarrare at least died young. And sought treatment for his monstrous appetite. Jack will likely die similarly to Tarrare though, shitting his guts out.

 

[AltisticRight]

Jack reviews "Fly Me to the Moon" and spends the entire review complaining about how the Moon Landing is fake. Seriously he doesn't even review say anything about the movie at all and just rants about the government.

Have you ever been to a restaurant with a cheeky name and spent an extended amount of time seething about that name?

I got an AI to generate two-worded restaurant names that are cheesy, generic and easily understood. I picked two of the most generic.
Steampunk cafe: hey but your coffee machines aren't powered by steam engines, you realise steampunk has a specific meaning right? Why are you using a laptop, not something mechanical etc.
Panda Takeaway: did you know pandas are protected in China and they weigh like a tonne, you can't just take one away and where are the pandas anyway?

Does this cross anyone's mind?
How miserable is this fat useless slob, have a stroke already.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

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Says people aren't being kind anymore. When somebody asks him for clarification he turns into a little bitch.

So self-realization isn't high on his list of things is it?

Now not every chef wants to go home and immediately be cooking again, but that's yet another category that doesn't apply to Fatty.

You ask a chef, or somebody who cooks for a living, who's cooking they prefer and the answer is always the same, "somebody else's cooking". When you've made 200 plates of food and have overseen everything going on in the kitchen the last thing you want to do is make something when you get home. So either somebody else does it or you do takeout / delivery.

It's funny how we realize there are situations where fast food and shitty chains make sense.

Of course they make sense so long as you don't live off the stuff. It's an occasional thing. I mean we tend to cook most of the time but there are nights we just opt for takeout / delivery because we want a change and just want to chill. But once a week would be considered often for us. With Fatty and his family? It's an every day thing.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

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Great coming from Jack "Fuck the Blind" Scalfani.

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Why would you want to be congratulated for being right about something like that? Most conspiracy theories, if true, are a lot shittier a situation than the conventional explanations.

 

[Puggers]

End it all.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Why would you want to be congratulated for being right about something like that? Most conspiracy theories, if true, are a lot shittier a situation than the conventional explanations.

He wants people to kiss his ass for being smart, that’s all there is to it

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

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said the guy who's an ass to everyone. it doesn't matter if they are, he's just an ass. Christ, jack, you aren't the second coming. cut the empathy bullshit.

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nothing, not one of your conspiracies came true. you follow doomer boomers and think everyone and their dogs are after you. seek help, jack.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

He wants people to kiss his ass for being smart, that’s all there is to it

Good point, forgot who I'm dealing with here.

 

[Bassomatic]

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End it all.

If he shot himself there it would go in and out like a balloon.

After all those strokes a few good sneezes set loose the grey matter and he then promptly deep fried it in bacon up.

Brains are keto, least that's what zombies tell me.

 

[AltisticRight]

I'm thinking about writing a thread on Jamie Oliver the careercow "chef", is there a demand? When Jack Scalfani finally strokes out and dies a painful death as his local hospital collects the population control reward from the state, Jamie Oliver can become the next idiot who can't cook to alog. He's been in many controversies and exhibits lolcow antics like being smug, annoying, locking/deleting comments and grifting.

 

[Bassomatic]

I'm thinking about writing a thread on Jamie Oliver the careercow "chef", is there a demand? When Jack Scalfani finally strokes out and dies a painful death as his local hospital collects the population control reward from the state, Jamie Oliver can become the next idiot who can't cook to alog. He's been in many controversies and exhibits lolcow antics like being smug, annoying, locking/deleting comments and grifting.

Jamie is a spoiled brat. His newest book I frankly like the 5 ingredients one. Like my mom had it I bought a copy.

He's a bit of a twit but i think he's a out of touch goof with heart in right place.

If you open one for his spergs and stuff I'll be sure to post and not simp for the dude but, overall I can't say I have much hate for him and some of his stuff slaps.

Also ied kcaj ied. The Wendigo passing to Jamie would be the funniest fuckin thing seeing him get fat AF and eating a5 steaks and caviar telling poor people with jobs how stupid they are for hamburgers.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I'm thinking about writing a thread on Jamie Oliver the careercow "chef", is there a demand? When Jack Scalfani finally strokes out and dies a painful death as his local hospital collects the population control reward from the state, Jamie Oliver can become the next idiot who can't cook to alog. He's been in many controversies and exhibits lolcow antics like being smug, annoying, locking/deleting comments and grifting.

Jamie Oliver isn’t as bad of a person but he definitely is a lolcow and a bit autistic

 

[Aunt Carol]

I'm thinking about writing a thread on Jamie Oliver the careercow "chef", is there a demand?

I don't know enough about Jamie Oliver but I'm ready to have it proven to me that he's a lolcow. Hoping that his partial stardom means he's one of the benignly amusing ones; it's so rare that someone is well-documented but not a diaperfur or doing IRL crimes or anything dark.

 

[Tiresome]

Jamie Oliver isn’t as bad of a person but he definitely is a lolcow and a bit autistic

Nowhere near as bad as Uncle Woger the Pacific Rim minstrel show.

 

[Tiki Bar Man 2]

I'm thinking about writing a thread on Jamie Oliver the careercow "chef", is there a demand? When Jack Scalfani finally strokes out and dies a painful death as his local hospital collects the population control reward from the state, Jamie Oliver can become the next idiot who can't cook to alog. He's been in many controversies and exhibits lolcow antics like being smug, annoying, locking/deleting comments and grifting.

yes please! I used to watch that show ere he cried a lot and forced kids to eat healthy meals in school with my mom lmao I would love to know what he has been up to. Thought he seemed to be a good lad growing up haha but I can totally beileve he was a cow all laong