We go to chapter 16, "Speedo". This is going to be a creepy one, so bear with me. After that horrible situation with Ellen seething about her lover having a boyfriend. We go back to the past again. We have a 10 year old Ellen having to deal with growing up as a girl, she gets sad because she is not gonna play with the boys anymore at football. She has to go with the girls, and of course, she didn't liked that one bit.
Then she describes the situation as humilliating when she had to clarify that she was actually a girl to play in the girls team, having the referee apparently smiling in a smug way on her. Because apparently every adult in this book is an asshole to child Ellen that doesn't seem to accept her whining.
Then, the drama of naturally growing up rapidly became a huge concern for her. She had her first period when she was snowboarding with her father, so I guess that part of being relatable falls apart as well, describing it as a "robot leaking".
And also started whining about using tampons or pads because she did not wanted to use this for the rest of her life, guess what, Ellen? Is not like other women like using it. And apparently that was enough for her to have a fullblown crisis, when she was fucking 10. Even starting to imagine the situation when she wasn't fully developed yet, which is weird.
But not everything was terrible, she met a kid of his age that would help her go through this period of her life. The name being Tim, she met him because his father was a wise man in football advice.
She started playing football with him and more of his friends, one time, when they were playing, Tim's father bring up a pool. So they all could swim together, but the problem was, Ellen did not have a bathing suit.
But hey, don't worry! Her new best friend's father had a bathing suit of Tim just for her, a MALE bathing suit.
This is getting a little creepy, what the hell?
Here's having a seething about using the straps for a bathing suit. Look at how she describes the Speedos.
She closed herself in the bathroom to try the new Speedos, and look at this, she was actually so small during that time that she had to climb to the toilet and stand on tiptoe so she could look herself into the mirror.
Just how much of a midget she is? But apparently, this was enough for her to get happy.
She was happier than ever during that moment of time. She felt like one of the boys with those new friends, and apparently that was enough for her.
She then talks about the first time she has seen Speedos in person. When she was in her mom's friend farm, she seen that the uncle of the family, named Kyle, also wear those speedos. Now it's getting REALLY creepy.
It doesn't help the fact that she describes the man as "very gay". This seems like the only trait she seems to remember from him, Ellen describes him like he was some kind of exotic animal.
She had some adventures in that farm, she loved a old pig from the farm, called Mabel. And describes some of the task she did during her stance in the farm.
But another episode of le cruel bigots started after this, when Ellen and the family went to a amusement park called Rainbow Valley. After describing the body of the uncle in a totally not creepy way. A group of teenagers called the uncle a faggot, and she obviously felt insulted by it.
And this apparently hit the uncle too, because after taking that ride, they all called quits and went home.
And now we go back to the hypothetical present, the moment when our little dood posted that pic of her showing her totally buff body with implants. She was more comfortable than ever using swim trunks.
We end the chapter with her describing a moment she had with her friend in LA. She swim and swim, and felt full empowered by just having her body exposed.
This was a painful one to read, good lord.
