Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[behindyourightnow]

This must be terrible for Joe. He wants so bad to show just how edgy he is, but he's afraid of getting kicked off Twitter again and things are clearly not going great between him and his employer, so he has to hold back and do shit like pretend to get mad that there are two meanings of "safe" instead.

There's nothing braver or cooler than saying mildly edgy shit right up until the point that it might have negative personal consequences, and being careful to stop there! What a groundbreaking iconoclast he is.

The family is big sad today that the former president survived an assassination attempt.

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Would love to put Joe in a room with a few people who have upended their lives fleeing political violence and force him to explain his very clever idea that there's actually no difference between "political violence" and normal cops arresting criminals for raping people. Lock the doors so Joe can't "pirouette away" and let them have a nice discussion for a few hours (that's not a euphemism for him getting beat up, I would prefer to see him shouted down for being a dumbass for several hours)

 

[Bookwork]

Obviously, Joe Berryberryold should pay Donald van Gogh the price of an ear with 78 years of Village People songs on it, and Donald should pay Joe B. $50 for each time he's had to listen to the Hannibal Lecter joke Donald wrote all by himself.

Who comes out ahead? Only Slavering Mama Joe Lavery the Justice Jenius can tell us.

So now we arrive at the truth of the matter:

Hilaria Baldwin should not be the only hawt mama to be getting a realtiy show. Mama Joe is ready for his close-up.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Lock the doors so Joe can't "pirouette away" and let them have a nice discussion for a few hours (that's not a euphemism for him getting beat up, I would prefer to see him shouted down for being a dumbass for several hours)

Honestly, Joe would either break down crying or strike them as they were lecturing him when he can't defend himself.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Would love to put Joe in a room with a few people who have upended their lives fleeing political violence and force him to explain his very clever idea that there's actually no difference between "political violence" and normal cops arresting criminals for raping people. Lock the doors so Joe can't "pirouette away" and let them have a nice discussion for a few hours (that's not a euphemism for him getting beat up, I would prefer to see him shouted down for being a dumbass for several hours)

We could just lock him in with some carefully selected Berkeley and MSU poli sci professors and spare the refugees. He again thinks he's brilliant and unique because he doesn't use standard meanings of words and that nobody else has ever thought of this and addressed it even using his specific meanings.

But we shouldn't have a problem with him being beaten up or killed, after all violence is clearly justified (as it's just another person's political expression) and it's wrong to morally condemn anyone else's truth. If it were the refugees wouldn't they be especially morally justified at receiving justice from one of their hegemonic colonialist oppressors? I don't think Joe can object in either the cases of refugees or the comparatively impoverished (in academia if not in other ways) poli sci professors.

 

[monstrous bubo]

We could just lock him in with some carefully selected Berkeley and MSU poli sci professors and spare the refugees.

Forget pol sci - I’d pay to see him up against some verbally skilled academics in economics, hard sciences or (blackletter) lawyers. You know, the ones who think words have meaning and come from the reality based community. It would be brutal. My dream would be Joe Lavery vs Richard Dawkins. Dawkins can be a bit of a lolcow on atheism, but he is a British brawler of the old school, and now that Christopher Hitchens is dead it’s either him or Peter Hitchens. It is the smackdown we don’t deserve, but the one we need.

 

[Bookwork]

Caption Contest
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Should I spoiler this to hide the massive selfie noodle arm? People with short arms might get suicidal looking at this.

ETA: More snaps of the outing from Mal.

The he/him person in the middle of the pic on the right is ID'd as @gbullard, apparently Gabe Bullard, freelance journalist and Substacker. Is a thruple story in the works? He either buries his ledes or he writes boring stuff on topics sanely removed from genderism. https://muckrack.com/gabe-bullard

Belieber?

Daddy Tardbaby wants more babies.

An Xannouncement:

I didn't Like any of those posts, Elon.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Caption Contest
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Should I spoiler this to hide the massive selfie noodle arm? People with short arms might get suicidal looking at this.

ETA: More snaps of the outing from Mal.
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None of these clowns can hold a baby like a normal nurturing human. The hold him like he’s an inanimate doll.

I guess we will find out who, if any, actually carry Rocco around via their arms. One perk of carrying around a kid for a few years toned biceps and arms muscles, which none of them currently have.

 

[Bookwork]

None of these clowns can hold a baby like a normal nurturing human. The hold him like he’s an inanimate doll.

I guess we will find out who, if any, actually carry Rocco around via their arms. One perk of carrying around a kid for a few years toned biceps and arms muscles, which none of them currently have.

Yeah, I've been surprised by how heavy those darn things are. And they keep SQUIRMING around so you can't just set and forget your muscles. They also do things like puke down your neck when you're trying to carry them upstairs. Do not want.

 

[OttoWest]

Just when he finally desisted, Joe got himself a pair of birthin’ hips:

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Yeah, I've been surprised by how heavy those darn things are. And they keep SQUIRMING around so you can't just set and forget your muscles. They also do things like puke down your neck when you're trying to carry them upstairs. Do not want.

The real muscle build comes when you have to wrangle 30 lb plus angry toddlers and preschoolers, that do NOT want to leave the playground, like an angry sack of potatoes without breaking a sweat. People look back at how easy the 10-20lb years were in comparison.

Rocco will be 20-30 lbs next year and have the ability to bite and grab hair. Good times ahoy!

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

Mallory realizing she wishes she had a boatload of babies and having her very normal biological clock go off at a very normal time is so funny. She thinks she's so different from those other girls.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Forget pol sci - I’d pay to see him up against some verbally skilled academics in economics, hard sciences or (blackletter) lawyers

I wanted to give him a chance against someone from a lesser academic class that would still crush him severely.

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

link | archive

I was married to a friend of a friend in Christian college for nine days and six months because we kept daring each other on a night out

the nine days was for the joke but the six months was because the state of California made us wait before granting the divorce to make sure we thought it through

Prop 8 had just passed so the vibe was very much "can you BELIEVE we could just GET MARRIED because you're a BOY and I'm a GIRL," which was the style at the etc

also we both had girlfriends at the time and mine thought it was kind of funny and his did not. It was not worth the administrative hassle nor upsetting two very nice girlfriends!

This no doubt impressed upon Mal the importance of thinking about major life decisions thoroughly. Alas, she just isn’t that good at thinking.

And her time honored tradition of just using marriage to shit all over the boring cishets. I bet all her doubts about Joe were cleared up as soon as he said he was going to wear the dress.

"This will really piss Daddy off!"

She deserves to be a cuckquean.

 

[Bookwork]

Butch Mister Danny's finally getting some balls.

Well, at least one.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Mallory realizing she wishes she had a boatload of babies and having her very normal biological clock go off at a very normal time is so funny. She thinks she's so different from those other girls.

I still believe this is some gleefully evil psychopathic mind game Joe enjoys playing on Mallory. A fetish for torment and ruination. He’s like an old, bitter cat with a baby mouse for entertainment.

And her time honored tradition of just using marriage to shit all over the boring cishets. I bet all her doubts about Joe were cleared up as soon as he said he was going to wear the dress.
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"This will really piss Daddy off!"
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She deserves to be a cuckquean.

She really does deserve Joe, he has milked all her insecurities for every miserable drop they were worth.

She fronted for years as a feminist and low key lesbian, only to throw herself, and family under the bus, to service the ego and kinks of a dominant man who neg’ed her. Joe just had to add academic credentials and transgenderism to the PUA techniques that Mallory would have derided.

Joe could rightly brag on any old school PUA forum about his marriage achievements. He managed to get a woman to ditch her family, promote his career, sell her house so he could move to the city of his choice, accept all his degrading sexual proclivities, participate in group sex and then accept him moving in a new, hotter girlfriend, breeding the new woman and have his cuckwife babysit for him and the girlfriend. He’d get a standing ovation from the PUA crowd for his achievements.

You know the theory that sexually abused girls gain weight to make themselves less attractive to male predators? I’ve wondered if Mallory’s testosterone consumption was a similar coping mechanism. He did procure, and impregnate a new “lesbian,” so it did pan out that way. I doubt Joe bothers Mallory for fist eating or “group sex” anymore.

If a woman decided she wanted no sexual interest from anyone, but esp men, there is no better solution than taking T. Even MTF with their dick chopped off get more sexual interest than pooners.

 

[monstrous bubo]

Well, at least one.

„I am the walrus.”

”Shut the fuck up, Danny.”

Joe thinks he’s the Dude, but he’s Walter. Lily is clearly the Dude here.

 

[Bookwork]

Rocco laughed at Daddy's face pubes.

 

[bei_rav]

She deserves to be a cuckquean.

Honestly, for a long time I was really hoping for the Mallory uprising, even like a Wormtongue/Saruman type betrayal that wouldn't halt her own downward spiral would have been fine. But the fact that they're all so despicable makes it harder to farm these days, and the baby shit moved the needle for me. 20 years ago people like them still existed but they couldn't so easily have gotten away with bringing babies into their degeneracy.

On the other hand, maybe a Mallory redemption arc might still be enjoyable for the pain it could bring Joe, especially if he continues to deteriorate so visibly.

 

[Constellationzero]

She fronted for years as a feminist and low key lesbian, only to throw herself, and family under the bus, to service the ego and kinks of a dominant man who neg’ed her. Joe just had to add academic credentials and transgenderism to the PUA techniques that Mallory would have derided.

But is Sideshow really dominant? He's shown himself repeatedly to be the biggest fucking coward I've seen in a long time online. Ol' Phildo Vincent Haskins Delici has more balls than this ass ugly British...uh...individual.

My guess is Lily the brickface uggo sociopath is the real dominant. Wrecking a marriage, cucking FAILory, fighting with FAILory, cheating on her former wife with this jowly, pasty, Dollar Tree Michael DesBarres melted wax statue. (Geez, does she do it sober, I wonder?)

What a true power thruple! The Algonquin Round Table could NEVER.

 

[monstrous bubo]

My guess is Lily the brickface uggo sociopath is the real dominant.

It’s an interesting question. At the start, maybe not as she joined an established couple, but now she holds the ace: Bobby Joe. The way she keeps her mouth shut reminds me of Paulie in Goodfellas.