Good news! The "gay drama" surrounding the departure of half the Cog's World viewerbase is all but forgotten because RALPH HAD ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING PILLSTREAM
I managed to catch some of it live, and there were even a few other cogheads in the audience.
This stream is going to be alog-friendly. If I don't post a recap today, it's because I'm busy befriending Cog in his stream chat.
He is monitoring the Ralph situation. Please keep in mind that documenting someone's public activities and posting screenshots is only stalking if you aren't doing a little show about it.
We're live! Today's topics:
Ethan Ralph Is Slowly Ending Himself As He Falls Off The Wagon Again
Cog appears, and and the hat is gone. He promises us an "amazing show" full of Ethan Ralph. Ralph has mysteriously received a large sum of money. Cog finds it suspicious that the money is not going towards child support.
Razgriz donates before we can even dive into any of today's topics. Then Maya comes in with another link!
It's a cute cat video. Cog is vibing and dancing to the music. $15/100
"Silleh kittehs. Haha." He is going to show this video to the "little one" later.
I am in the chat desperately trying to get some coffee cogtent going, but it seems the amnesty was a LIE. My messages do not show up.
Fear not, we still have a sandwich mukbang to enjoy. "Let's see how those choona butties are."
He explains the terms of his "amnesty"; he has supposedly unblocked and unmuted everyone from his channel.
Now we're onto the irl politics. We watch a trump video and then 'ave a laff at Kamala Harris being represented as both black and Indian in the media.
Pronouncing Kamala Harris' name wrong is racist. Cog is consulting his wife on the proper, Indian way of saying it.
Cog loves his little tinfoil hat conspiracy theories. We're watching a tiktok guy explain how Baron Trump is a time traveler while he eats his choona butties.
"I'm thinking about doing a whole show on this." If we he the $100 goal, he will even wear an actual tinfoil hat while doing this. "The RoboCog helmet is looking shit!" He proudly laughs at his own cleverness in getting ahead of the alogs' jokes.
It's now time to get into the Ralph stuff. Cog pulls up a clip of Piggy sleeping on stream, and munches on his sandwich.
He is self-consciously mukbanging off-screen, but still talks with his mouth full.
Honestly these 2 fat guys should just fuck already.
Maya donates another $20! Cog notes that so far, Maya is "today's top feeder", which he explains is a term used by kiwifarms to refer to his donators. Then he mukbangs some soda pop. $35/100!
Maya's link is an anime video. Cog puts his finger in his mouth and watches intently.
"That was pretty cool!"
Back to watching Ralph clips. The links are in chat again. DING! DING! Razgriz donates 2 memberships. Then $5 from Jaymar! Time for a smoke break! $50/100
Back from the break! Cog plays Jaymar's link. It's more anime. Big sips!
The video is paused because the "Little One" has shown up. She brought Cog a chocolate milkshake, which he immediately mukbangs for us.
VHS Archive is sick of anime and wants to watch the dancing raccoon video again. Cog pulls it up and dances along. $55/100
At least it isn't Tank Police.
DING! Jaymar donates with another link. It's some kind of animated Batman trailer. $60/100
"This just looks absolutely amazing!"
Even the jannies are sick of Ralph.
Cog is telling us about his favorite superhero movies when Gramit donates another Smoke & Link.
The link is a funny raccoon video.
"That's just funny. I like that." $65/100!
"All donations for this show are tax-free!" He smashes the "tax-free" Ralph clip, which lags and glitches out. Cog assumes this is because it's not being played from his solid state drive. He plays a different Ralph clip, which also lags.
The Ralph segment is going at full steam. Links are in chat again. We're only $35 away from smashing today's goal and seeing Cog wear a tin foil hat.
Bro get your finger out of your eye.
Now he's debunking Ralph's chair. It is sqeaking because the Gunt is fat.
Mrs. Cog hates Ralph almost as much as Mr. Cog does
The "Little One" makes another appearance, offering Cog more food. He declines. "She cute. She trying to help." Even his daughter-niece knows what the fans want to see.
He sips on his milkshake instead.
Piggy's eyes are now being debunked. "Ralph's eyes aren't blue that much." He asserts that blue eyes don't count for a lot when you are a sex offending child abuser. Mrs. Cog is still excitedly chatting about the Gunt. We all hate Pigger Tits in the Cog household.
Cog puts on his Hugo Boss shades to parody Ethan Ralph and goes on another smoke break.
DING! Back from the break, and Zimti has a message for the seething haters on Kiwifarms. Cog dances around to some dance pop music and adds the Smokes to the feeder fund. $80/100!
He forgot that he's doing a show. This stream is just pure vibeage right now.
The cogcord has made another meme.
STOP.
Zimti's message is finally read aloud. Cog thinks it's weird that someone on kiwifarms is documenting the things he eats and drinks.
Links are in chat once more. Can we smash that goal???
This is killing me.
The Ralph clips are put on hold so Cog can play a funny video of a guy rapping about ducking child support.
Back to Ralph. Links in chat again! "CAN we make it happen???"
We are now paused and debunking Ralph's water bottles. Taking note of the things Ralph drinks on stream is not weird.
Ralph is again interrupted with a link courtesy of Mrs. Cog. Mr. Cog honks his nose and plays it.
It's a video about drinking piss and pouring piss through your nose in a neti pot.
SNIVLES COMES IN WITH 4 SMOKES! Level 1 is smashed! The Mario victory music is played. There are fireworks. Everyone is excited. Tin foil hat tomorrow!
"Is Snivles the Biggest Feeder of the day? I'm sure he's tallying it up right now..." $100/200!
Time for a celebratory chocolate mukbang!
"You have $100k? That's gonna go real well for you when you try to recalculate your child support." SIP.
An alog is finally spotted in chat! Cog finally has something to talk about. He is now ranting about Twitter Geek and his gf.
The show is officially derailed. He's just yelling at the trolls.
"You know where I live. Why don't you come and fight me? Oh yeah, because you're a little bitch! A little chav bitch!"
Twitter Geek and Raven have been banned, but Cog is still rambling about them. "Your idea of a date right now is seething in my fucking live chat." In my opinion, he needs to understand the bonding power of a mutual hatred. It worked for he and Mrs. Cog anyway.
COGMEDY CORNER:
We've hit the 3 hour mark. Links are in chat again! "You know people are watching, you know it's making people seethe!" Smoke break! Light it up!
Cog is back from the break and diving into more Ralph content. The debunking isn't over yet. This segment is also about The Gunt's eyes color. "You've got GREY EYES, Ralph."
One of the feeders has to go. The chances of us hitting $200 are getting slimmer as the show progresses. A superchat comes in! $102/200
Mrs. Cog is picking up the missing feeders' slack by ruthlessly roasting Pigger Tits in chat.
We're watching the clip of Ralph talking about being "Rekieta's bulldog" again. I don't know if Cog remembers that he already watched this today. He has this expression on his face the whole time.
Cog shows Mrs. Cog a cute kitty cat meme. Awww.
This is how real intellectuals think.
Cog is improvising a new parody song about Ralph's piss bottle, to the tune of "Genie in a Bottle." The crowd is going wild for this one.
If we hit the $200 goal, Cog will make this into a fully-recorded parody. I'd be tossing him $100 right now if I wasn't LIED TO about being unbanned.
This guy is hyped to hear "Pissin' in a Bottle". $112/200
Nearing 4 hours, so the links are dropped in chat. Time for another smoke break!
Back with more Ralph! Mrs. Mood donates $10 with a link to some gnomes playing flute music. Mrs. Mood is real and is not just Mr. Mood on a different account, for anyone wondering. $122/200
He fucking loves this video.
DING! Jaymar donates with another link! $127/200
It's a video of a guy playing saxophone. Sounds kind of like Colin Stetson. Cog honks his nose in approval.
DING! $10 from Maya! It's political. $137/200
Back to the Ralph stuff. The Cogmentary is wearing down. The dead air on Ralph's stream fills Cog's World. Coffee time?
DING! 5 memberships from Taz! I can already practically hear that parody song. Maybe that's because Cog is singing it again. $162/200!
A very special lurker is gifted one of these subs.
A lot of dead air and Ralph talking slowly. Cog is not saying much, but he drops his links in chat anyway.
A prophesy comes true.
DING! An anonymous dono comes in! I wonder who it could be? $172/200
The show is winding down. Wifey can't keep her hands off this stud. The Cogs might be getting down and dirty soon. Cog begs his fans to donate so that he can extend the show to 6 hours.
No more donos come in, so the show ends. "It's Joe over for Ralph". o7s!
Stream length: 5:09:17
Money added to the feeding fund: $172
Coffee consumed: none
Misc. mukbangs: 1 soda pop, 1 chocolate milkshake, 2 choona butties, 1 chocolate bar
Ralph references: nonstop
Smoke breaks: 4
Today's top feeder: Maya
