Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children

[a feel]

Guessing she wasn't murdered as she's now the schizo druggies source of fun

They could bond over invisible people, substance abuse and terrible hygiene. Maybe she found a new friend?

 

[Helvetia]

I can't wait for her to upload a video about it, I don't know what it is about her, but it's actually mildly enjoyable to transcript her videos. It's probably how slow she talks and her impressively simplistic language.

 

[Pee Your Pants]

I don't know what it is about her, but it's actually mildly enjoyable to transcript her videos.

The transcripts are always so welcomed, because there's only a small percentage of us who can bear the grandma mouth noises. It's nice you enjoy doing it.

I always love the posts where someone writes out the highlights of one of her videos, they crack me up. I can't remember which kiwi wrote the post, but there was one run down that involved them praising a firetruck siren going off, as Staph took it as a sign to end the video. One of the funniest posts I've ever read.

(Edit: It was by @p0mm3rz on page 1296)

We missed this little upload. Nothing special but that grandma voice.

 

[Helvetia]

We missed this little upload.

fuck me that MUSIC. mix that shit, girl. audacity is FREE.

 

[AfghanBlue]

How do you even get a grandma voice like that at such an age?
I always thought they were to do with the degrading of the vocal chords over tien, possibly helped along by 20 Benson & Hedges a day.
It's really odd to hear it from a 30 something year old.
It makes you wonder how much crazier it will get as decades progress.

 

[a hapless toad]

Hmm. That's different to our one.
We had
"I will do my best
To love my God
To serve my Queen and Country
To help other people
And to keep the brownie guide law"

That's the promise/oath, not the law (referenced in your last line). In the US it's:

On my honor,
I will try
To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.

 

[oishii desu]

How do you even get a grandma voice like that at such an age?
I always thought they were to do with the degrading of the vocal chords over tien, possibly helped along by 20 Benson & Hedges a day.
It's really odd to hear it from a 30 something year old.
It makes you wonder how much crazier it will get as decades progress.

GERD can develop into LPR (laryngopharyngeal reflux) which just means stomach acid is getting to your throat and thus vocal cords. So your voice sounds perpetually hoarse. Voice hoarseness can also occur with GERD, but it is always present in LPR. Here are some screenshots of an article discussing the difference and effects on the voice:


If you ever watch a Staph video you'll notice she can't go 30 minutes without a cough drop. Also it should come as no shock to thread regulars that this is entirely treatable if she just lost weight and stopped eating trash.

I wonder if her speech therapist will be able to help her at all due to this lmao

 

[JanuaryViolet]

GERD can develop into LPR (laryngopharyngeal reflux) which just means stomach acid is getting to your throat and thus vocal cords.

Nah, I think she's just a sped.

 

[AfghanBlue]

GERD can develop into LPR (laryngopharyngeal reflux) which just means stomach acid is getting to your throat and thus vocal cords. So your voice sounds perpetually hoarse. Voice hoarseness can also occur with GERD, but it is always present in LPR. Here are some screenshots of an article discussing the difference and effects on the voice:
View attachment 6223295View attachment 6223296

If you ever watch a Staph video you'll notice she can't go 30 minutes without a cough drop. Also it should come as no shock to thread regulars that this is entirely treatable if she just lost weight and stopped eating trash.
View attachment 6223297
I wonder if her speech therapist won't be able to help her at all due to this lmao

Excellently informative.
When staph reads this she is going to (conviently go blind at the bit where it says this is entirely within her power to enact any positive change, and) shit with joy that she has another technically chronic health condition to bemoan

 

[oishii desu]

Nah, I think she's just a sped.

Two things can be true at once

 

[Aunt Carol]

Also it should come as no shock to thread regulars that this is entirely treatable if she just lost weight and stopped eating trash.

Check the end of the list: even if she didn't want to lose weight or stop eating right before bed, she could help this by raising the head of her bed a little.

Stephanie probably has a bunch of thick books left over from her master's degree; if she put them under her mattress to raise the head, this would be the first time they actually helped her.

 

[oishii desu]

Check the end of the list: even if she didn't want to lose weight or stop eating right before bed, she could help this by raising the head of her bed a little.

You bring up a great point! I recall that she had an adjustable, motorized bed at her parents' place, specifically to help with her GERD. Did she bring that bed with her when she moved? None of it will really help though as she has admitted to routinely falling asleep on the couch.

Most distressingly, morbid obesity is not outlined in the DSM that she had to memorize, so sadly the concept is beyond her

 

[Fancy Carstairs]

re: cough drops- I have not paid much attention to this before, does she eat them because of gerd? if she eats them constantly, are they then just hard candies?

edit: I thought about it. is this what's happening?

she has gerd
no avoidance of any trigger food, eats whatever she wants
gerd is triggered
coughing happens because acid
she eats cough drops

augh. are cough drops even able to help with gerd cough? I don't think I have gerd but I have to avoid certain foods like marinara sauce or I get all acidy refluxy. I've experienced those gerd coughs and I ate a couple Tums and drank water to feel better.

 

[RonRiot]

I began to drum furiously, louder and harder than I ever had before, before retiring back to my sacred space.

Her sacred space….the picnic table. This might be better than her striding around town with her sword and her pants falling down. Comedy Druid Staph is my favorite form of Staph. I wish she did more of this and less online slap fighting.

 

[moorhen]

re: cough drops- I have not paid much attention to this before, does she eat them because of gerd? if she eats them constantly, are they then just hard candies?

edit: I thought about it. is this what's happening?

she has gerd
no avoidance of any trigger food, eats whatever she wants
gerd is triggered
coughing happens because acid
she eats cough drops

augh. are cough drops even able to help with gerd cough? I don't think I have gerd but I have to avoid certain foods like marinara sauce or I get all acidy refluxy. I've experienced those gerd coughs and I ate a couple Tums and drank water to feel better.

Yeah a cough drop isn’t going to do anything for GERD. I get acid reflux when I don’t eat breakfast but have a coffee. It’s gross but I have the britfag version of a tums and it goes away.
Obviously Tums don’t taste like a little candy so she’s not interested in them.

Id be interested to know how much water she drinks in a day, because I have a suspicion that it’s no glasses and several cans of soda.

 

[glass_houses]

If you ever watch a Staph video you'll notice she can't go 30 minutes without a cough drop. Also it should come as no shock to thread regulars that this is entirely treatable if she just lost weight and stopped eating trash.

That really depends. If she has a condition like a hiatal hernia, where the top of her stomach protrudes through her diaphragm, she's going to have GERD regardless of what she eats. It memory serves, she's stated at some point that her GERD could be fixed with an operation, but she doesn't want to follow the special diet that she'll need for the next six weeks.

However, she absolutely does eat food that aggravates her GERD, and there's medications that can also reduce the symptoms, which she clearly doesn't take. So there's that.

Chronic GERD- not an hour or two of heartburn following a disagreeable meal- is unbearable. It never stops, there's either "bad" or "really bad". It can cause ulcers in your esophagus, or trigger a condition called "esophageal spasms", which is probably the second worst pain I've ever endured in my entire life.

I don't know how anyone can just live with GERD when they have a way out.

 

[Spangled Drongo]

If not because of her poorly managed health, could her unfortunate sounding voice also be down to shitty genes much like her weirdly small mouth? Makes it all the more amusing to see her romanticise her birth mother (as well as her ancestors, who she's clearly treating as characters in a fanfiction) when her birth mother is likely the reason she's such a goblin.

She barely mentions her bio dad but surely he contributed some bad genes to our bxy as well?

 

[glass_houses]

If not because of her poorly managed health, could her unfortunate sounding voice also be down to shitty genes much like her weirdly small mouth? Makes it all the more amusing to see her romanticise her birth mother (as well as her ancestors, who she's clearly treating as characters in a fanfiction) when her birth mother is likely the reason she's such a goblin.

People who are isolated tend to forget how to human, which includes talking. Her only leaving her unit for food and never socially interacting with others her own age is not going to help her any.

 

[a hapless toad]

Yeah a cough drop isn’t going to do anything for GERD. I get acid reflux when I don’t eat breakfast but have a coffee. It’s gross but I have the britfag version of a tums and it goes away.
Obviously Tums don’t taste like a little candy so she’s not interested in them.

Yeah but Rennies aren't going to do anything for her irritated throat either. They might help with the acid reflux a little but as we've all said, she won't do any of the things she NEEDS to do to actually improve.

At anything in her life. Ever. Not just the GERD.

She barely mentions her bio dad but surely he contributed some bad genes to our bxy as well?

Probably, but also remember he was in his 50s when her mom got pregnant.

 

[moorhen]

Yeah but Rennies aren't going to do anything for her irritated throat either. They might help with the acid reflux a little but as we've all said, she won't do any of the things she NEEDS to do to actually improve.

At anything in her life. Ever. Not just the GERD.

Excuse you, she just spent 5 hours sitting at a park bench and banging a drum. Obviously Loki is going to hear her prayers and cure her of her fat ugly womanness anyday.