Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Ballistics]

Ten minutes of Outlaws gameplay dropped today:

I hope IGN was playing with the graphics set to low because if this is high or ultra high, holy fuck it's bad. The animations look like hot garbage. My modded Skyrim has better walking and running animations made by Jap NEETs for free. Why do they keep making thermal detonators so weak? In the EU they would vaporize everything within a dozen meters or more. That's why everyone shit their pants in Jabba's palace when Leia whipped one out.

Why do I have a feeling a sarlacc's "second mouth" is its vagina?


The show was supposed to take place during the High Republic but they retooled it to fit in the Furloni-verse. The rewrites and paying for Jude Law is going to make it cost way more than it should.

Oh yeah. It's Ubislop time. My favorite part so far has been GManLives awful take on this. For context, this the guy that said Starfield was a masterpiece.

He made another video shilling the game after being flown out to play it.

Spoiler: Video

The video sucks. His version of "fun" is apparently driving a speeder through a mostly barren wasteland and seeing such amazing things as an abandoned cargo sled. Basic faction mechanics are interesting to him because helping one reduces the approval of another. Nah, it's not a chore. IT'S INTERESTING. Gman loves such important details as beads with physics and trees blowing in the wind. He notes that the game seems to be pushing you towards stealth but from the footage it's also clear that the stealth mechanics are half-baked slop. Not that he minds of course. The story missions in particular force you to play the mission a very specific way because following a set path designed to let you win is so heckin' fun. Of course, the ship combat looks straight out of Starfield and not in a good way but he loves Starfield so he's not bothered.

That begs the question though, why play this when Metal Gear Solid V exists with more weapons, better physics, more vehicles, and a better story? You'd think a guy who just replayed some of the old Metal Gear games would be far more critical of a game so lacking in the stealth department. He's not a shill though.

Of course, he just ended up bitching about the negative reception to the video online and people calling him a shill for being invited by the studio to play their game and saying it's looking good when nothing about the gameplay actually is.

He didn't actually remove the video though. He's just bitching that people think his takes suck as they usually do.

@TheAmbiguousLurker I was reminded of one of the more annoying parts of Clone Wars today, the whole Obi-Wan/Satine romance. I don't have too much of a problem with them trying to make Obi-Wan parallel Anakin and Padme's relationship, but I do fucking hate the moment where Obi-Wan admits that he would totally abandon the order and all his duties just to be with Satine. Fuck no, Obi-Wan is a ride-or-die jedi, no woman is coming between him and the Order. Like, the point of the parallel should be that Obi-Wan is willing to let go of Satine and put his duty to the Jedi above his love for her, not echoing Anakin.

I think the thing is that Obi-Wan actually respects the Jedi Order. He would leave the Jedi, not just hide their romance from them like Anakin. He sees in the wisdom in the order's teachings unlike Anakin who just sees them as in the way.

 

[LovisXVI]

Of course, he just ended up bitching about the negative reception to the video online and people calling him a shill for being invited by the studio to play their game and saying it's looking good when nothing about the gameplay actually is.

Him bitching about the negative reception is worse than being a shill, it is being a shill with thin skin, and you'd think with his tough guy persona he projects he would be able to take it or at least suck it up, but apparently not. Fucking pathetic.

 

[Ewan McGregor]

left-leaning

Star Trek, unlike Star Wars, was always by liberals for liberals.

However, what we are talking now isn't just liberals. It is completely retarded, intellectually void, creatively bankrupt morons.

 

[Miller]

Oh yeah. It's Ubislop time. My favorite part so far has been GManLives awful take on this. For context, this the guy that said Starfield was a masterpiece.

The check cleared for Eckharts too:

 

[Fapcop]

It never fucking fails with SW fans does it?

ANNOUNCE NEW SW SHOW/GAME/MOVIE: Make vague promises.
SW fans: “I hate LAST TITLE, but I’m cautiously optimistic this time!”

SHILLING INTENSIFIES: Promise the moon.
SW fans: “IM ALL IN!”

REVEAL: GAME/MOVIE ACTUALLY SUCKS
SW fans: “THATS IT! I’m done with this shit!”

I LOLd when I saw that preorders for Outlaws, generic Ubisoft slop complete with STRONK BROWN WOMAN protagonist, had gone gold.

I LOLd even harder when the ten minute trailer went out recently, and everyone saw how goddamn bad it was.

 

[Ewan McGregor]

I can just imagine the fight in the Chancellor's Office if Palpatine spoke like that.

Palpatine: ''This is-a treason! I'm-a gonna make linguini out of you!''

Mace Windu: ''Try it, meatball!''

É tradimento, allora.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

* The Mandos are exinct

Not really, Jaina trained with Mandos in Legacy of the Force and then Mandos work against Datth Krayt in Legacy, decades after Boba's time. They are strong enough to be contracted by Galactic Alliance to protect critical infrastructure.

* Also they're allies with the Republic.

There is no Republic, it fell when the Vong invaded. They kind of support Galactic Alliance against Darth Caedus but then they break Daala out of Alliance's prison so they are pretty much as they were, mercs.

* Oh no they're not, they're working with the Vong?

About a hundred years after Vong war the Jedi started Project Ossus aimed at restoring planets destroyed during Vong war using Vong biotechnology - to both restore those worlds and integrate the Vong into the galaxy. The project was sabotaged by the Sith helped by a faction of Vong who were unhappy with this idea.

 

[Conspiracy Mawile]

Imo the Vong were always one of the worst part of the EU, but considering the shitshow Disney Wars has now become, they are probably going to loot every last bit of content they have their rights on to quickly throw a new trilogy together.
Imagine Pedro Pascal, Baby Yoda, CGI Luke and Glup Shito fighting against an army of badly animated green snakesword-wielding goblins in space

 

[Ewan McGregor]

Imo the Vong were always one of the worst part of the EU, but considering the shitshow Disney Wars has now become, they are probably going to loot every last bit of content they have their rights on to quickly throw a new trilogy together.
Imagine Pedro Pascal, Baby Yoda, CGI Luke and Glup Shito fighting against an army of badly animated green snakesword-wielding goblins in space

Hmm how would Disney deal with the idea of an aggressively genocidal ugly ass race of environmentalist luddites that worship pain and indulge in ritual self-mutilation?

 

[Ghostse]

It never fucking fails with SW fans does it?

ANNOUNCE NEW SW SHOW/GAME/MOVIE: Make vague promises.
SW fans: “I hate LAST TITLE, but I’m cautiously optimistic this time!”

SHILLING INTENSIFIES: Promise the moon.
SW fans: “IM ALL IN!”

REVEAL: GAME/MOVIE ACTUALLY SUCKS
SW fans: “THATS IT! I’m done with this shit!”

I LOLd when I saw that preorders for Outlaws, generic Ubisoft slop complete with STRONK BROWN WOMAN protagonist, had gone gold.

I LOLd even harder when the ten minute trailer went out recently, and everyone saw how goddamn bad it was.

I don't call them Abused Wives for nothing.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

It never fucking fails with SW fans does it?

ANNOUNCE NEW SW SHOW/GAME/MOVIE: Make vague promises.
SW fans: “I hate LAST TITLE, but I’m cautiously optimistic this time!”

SHILLING INTENSIFIES: Promise the moon.
SW fans: “IM ALL IN!”

REVEAL: GAME/MOVIE ACTUALLY SUCKS
SW fans: “THATS IT! I’m done with this shit!”

I LOLd when I saw that preorders for Outlaws, generic Ubisoft slop complete with STRONK BROWN WOMAN protagonist, had gone gold.

I LOLd even harder when the ten minute trailer went out recently, and everyone saw how goddamn bad it was.

Most Star Wars fans have already left, along with their wallets. Disney has been losing money on SW, not gaining money. These scabs that are left are just bored yahoos who have nothing else to watch or play.

 

[Fapcop]

Most Star Wars fans have already left, along with their wallets. Disney has been losing money on SW, not gaining money. These scabs that are left are just bored yahoos who have nothing else to watch or play.

Plus all the fake fans.

AKA the weirdos LARPing as “nerds” because nerd culture became cool and Kotaku had an article about the latest Palpatine Funko Pops.

And yeah, you’re right about all the fans either having left or just not caring.

SW used to be huuuuuge. Remember back during the prequel days when every fast food restaurant had some SW tie in, and stores were filled wall to wall with SW things or products that had bought some kind of licensing deal?

Fuck, back then they actually had decent SW game too. Not just some shit-tier Ubisoft goyslop.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

Plus all the fake fans.

AKA the weirdos LARPing as “nerds” because nerd culture became cool and Kotaku had an article about the latest Palpatine Funko Pops.

Exactly. These guys are posers. They probably don't even know about the Tales of the Jedi comics, and most of what they know about the Clone Army comes from Filoni's deeply sanitized TCW cartoon, not the real EU where the clones made the conscious decision to betray their Jedi generals, then went full ham on Separatist civilians after Order 66.

 

[Fapcop]

Imo the Vong were always one of the worst part of the EU, but considering the shitshow Disney Wars has now become, they are probably going to loot every last bit of content they have their rights on to quickly throw a new trilogy together.
Imagine Pedro Pascal, Baby Yoda, CGI Luke and Glup Shito fighting against an army of badly animated green snakesword-wielding goblins in space

The Vong were a cool idea though sure: Maybe not done in the greatest way.

(Plus, some of the books were legit brilliant.)

The concept of a threat from outside the galaxy and a threat that they can’t just brute hack the force to fix was great. If they had made the sequels based on the Vong, they might have been actually good.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

Imo the Vong were always one of the worst part of the EU, but considering the shitshow Disney Wars has now become, they are probably going to loot every last bit of content they have their rights on to quickly throw a new trilogy together.

The Vong were a cool idea though sure: Maybe not done in the greatest way.

(Plus, some of the books were legit brilliant.)

The concept of a threat from outside the galaxy and a threat that they can’t just brute hack the force to fix was great. If they had made the sequels based on the Vong, they might have been actually good.

The Vong were a cool idea, but executed poorly. They had to make the New Republic retarded to make it work. Instead of it just having both the New Republic and the Empire doing the right thing at every juncture yet still failing because the enemy is just that strong, which is what SWTOR did right with its story.

But I wouldn't trust the Sequel writers with the Vong. Knowing their tendencies, they'd probably make the Vong the good guys now that they've demonized both the Jedi/New Republic and the Empire.

 

[Fapcop]

I still blame that hacky, proto-Disney writer Traviss for a lot of the Mando contradictions.

Is that the broad who spent an ENTIRE book on Jayna training with Boba Fett in order to assassinate her brother A GODDAMN SITH LORD?!?

And the book just gargles Boba’s balls for like hundreds of pages, and not even once tries to explain the patently ridiculous notion of a Mandalorians being any kind of a threat to one of the most powerful jedi ever?

Gawd I hated that almost as much as I hated the pedo scene of a 14 year old Ben almost being seduced by a grown woman.

Also…

FUCK
THOSE
KIDS!

That was one of my problems with the EU… They always had to put those damn kids into the stories. And sorry, when I read of Luke just being fine and dandy with HIS TEENAGE SON being sent off to kill people, or Han and Leia LEAVING A SIX YEAR OLD ALONE IN A SPACESHIP ON DARTHOMIR FOR LIKE A WEEK, it kinda makes me question his and Leia’s parenting abilities and morals.

Just fuck kids and sci fi man. No I don’t give a rats ass how powerful Jaden’s daughter is in the force. Even I wanted to read books with precocious six year olds in them, I sure as hell wouldn’t want it in my SW book.

And just to keep it on topic: HOLY SHIT THAT GAME LOOKS TERRIBLE!

I was expecting generic Ubisoft slop but I was at least expecting the graphics to look decent. Some of that legit looks like PS3 era garbage.

 

[Grave Ghost]

I wrote off Outlaws as soon as I saw that you couldn't equip any cool armor and saw how awful the gunplay and reaction of enemies to getting shot was. Hoping the port of Bounty Hunter isn't bad at least.

 

[Sneedmiser]

I still blame that hacky, proto-Disney writer Traviss for a lot of the Mando contradictions.

Give Traviss credit for walking when they started letting Filoni shit over the rest of the EU.

Druckmann worked on a SW game? I know David Cage has SW Eclipse that looks more like DUNC than Star Wars.

I think I meant Cage oops.

Seth MacFarlane is an actual nerd and knows what he's on about, but he's also gotten shitlibbed so I could never bother with Orville.

He's always been shitlibbed but he's at least like Rowling and hates trannies.

Hmm how would Disney deal with the idea of an aggressively genocidal ugly ass race of environmentalist luddites that worship pain and indulge in ritual self-mutilation?

By ignoring Zahn when he tries desperately to inject them into Canon under a new name then completely raping his new version of Thrawn that was already just a watered-down Thrawn.

 

[Fapcop]

He's always been shitlibbed but he's at least like Rowling and hates trannies.

He’s a shitlib and there is the occasional shitlib storyline in The Orville, but unlike NuTrek it’s actually decent and reminds you of Trek.

Probably one of the best “unofficial” Trek shows out there. Close second to Star Trek Continues on YouTube. But nowhere near as good as say, the Enterprise.

But if anyone is looking for some good sci-fi, seriously: Nothing beats the 2000’s show like Farscape. In the middle of a rewatch.

Dark Matter, the Scify show from 2016 is also decent. Scratch that: Really good.

Feels for any new nerds growing up right now. It’s dark times indeed for nerddom. The only somewhat decent sci-fi show I can think of from this decade is The Expanse.

I wrote off Outlaws as soon as I saw that you couldn't equip any cool armor and saw how awful the gunplay and reaction of enemies to getting shot was.

WTF is a point of SW open universe action RPG kinda game, if you CANT be/make your own character but has to run around as some half niglet with an annoying space gerbil on your back.

The only bright side is that this shitshow probably cost them so much to make, that not even going gold before release means that they’ll make their money back.

 

[Rick The Stick]

Game looks shit, and im not interested. Shockedpikachu.jpg

É tradimento, allora.

>AHNAKEEN
Lol'd. Palps VA is great though.