šŸ· Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

How long will this relationship last?

  • About a month.

    Votes: 31 44.3%

  • Half a year.

    Votes: 7 10.0%

  • A year or more.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • He will marry her and impregnate her, hater! This is Eternal love.

    Votes: 32 45.7%
  • Total voters
    70
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Dark days for The Gunt . . .
 
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Rage Pig said:
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Well he didnā€™t drunkenly forget his phone in an Uber again so Iā€™m assuming a whore or Xanax dealer pinched his wallet and passport because you know like an idiot he was walking around with his manpurse blissfully not paying attention to things
 
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So he charged back before he took the return flight. Einstein he be. The moment you charge back your services are nullified. And now he will spend more money than the flight on a hotel and tacos in Tijuana plus the extra cost of the one-way from there backā€homeā€.

All self-inflicted as usual.
 
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Obnoxious Asshole said:
I'm waiting for the murse to appear on eBay. That was pure gold-plated kino. So many memorable moments from Portugal I.
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I'm still intensely saddened that nobody nearby was able to capture a video for instagram, or at least we didn't find it. Imagine if the video surfaced of Ralph getting beaten by a single dude on his hands and knees in the street without throwing a single punch (something he has since admitted) while he was trying to sell the 1v4 Oldboy fight story.
 
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PenguinSpy said:
Ethan Ralph: Stranded in Tijuana

Sounds like a comedic take on a Far Cry game
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I always figured the best Ralph themed video game would be a beat-em-up like river city ransom, except it's his various exploits where he gets is ass kicked and bothers people around the world.

Now there's a Tijuana level.
 
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JohnnyGringo said:
Something tells me he left his wallet in a brothel

EDIT Explanation: While prostitution is technically illegal in Mexico, in Tijuana and other areas, the police look the other way. There is this one famous strip club/brothel that pops up amongst Mexicans called "Hong Kong Gentlemen's Club".
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Actually, prostitution is perfectly legal there, which is probably one of the reasons Ralph moved to Mexico.
Sicko Hunter said:
Isn't the whole thing with the cartel that they kidnap people and extort their family for ransom? Ralph has no family and no real friends. No one would come for him or pay his ransom. It would be utterly pointless.
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You can tell how broke Ralph actually is just by looking at his utterly classes, ill fitting outfits. No one is going to try to kidnap him from ransom, its obvious it's a waste of time and effort.

He might get away pretending he's got some tourist money 1000 miles south, but right on the border he isn't fooling anyone. Every mexican in TJ knows he's just a broke wigger white trash .
 
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BlueArmedDevil said:
Have the cartels ever been paid to keep someone?
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No one on the border is confused by Ralph's identity as a broke ass white trash amerimutt with $0 dollars to extract. People in TJ are used to dealing with all sort of americans.

They wouldn't even bother to try and scam him for torta money.
 
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