Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

So whose brother is this?
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While my favorite lolcow, he's not a good entry-level for normies. On the surface, he's like your average terminally online twitter faggot, of which there's thousands. A good lolcow 101 is a cobes or cwc. I've shown family and friends the bugrito and "I'm workin' on it." I can't think of a good intro to Fatrick lore. Maybe bombing at standup? But even that isn't really that interesting on its own. It's a big fat puzzle with a lot of pieces that don't make sense until you put them together.

 

[Cactuar King]

While my favorite lolcow, he's not a good entry-level for normies. On the surface, he's like your average terminally online twitter faggot, of which there's thousands. A good lolcow 101 is a cobes or cwc. I've shown family and friends the bugrito and "I'm workin' on it." I can't think of a good intro to Fatrick lore. Maybe bombing at standup? But even that isn't really that interesting on its own. It's a big fat puzzle with a lot of pieces that don't make sense until you put them together.

What about the paint balloon and tanks tweet? Really shows how rock stupid he is.

 

[Post Reply]

Wrong as always, doxxer child. I may have publicly posted my address online almost a decade ago, but that is not how doxxing works.

 

[An automatic clown]

Wrong as always, doxxer child. I may have publicly posted my address online almost a decade ago, but that is not how doxxing works.
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How does he mentally square this circle ? He doxed himself by posting his address on an envelope. How is that "not how doxxing works"?"

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

How does he mentally square this circle ? He doxed himself by posting his address on an envelope. How is that "not how doxxing works"?"

Doxxing isn’t posting an address, for these faggots. Doxxing is posting it “maliciously” or some shit. It’s literal internal forum judgement, which is reserved to God.

 

[rusty shackleford 1]

So he’s oinking that that’s not how doxing works and someone just posted proof that the tweet in question is still up. Anybody with a Twitter know if the funsters post his home address in their protests? What is he even talking about?

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

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Why not? He could have started talking about curry.

 

[Welf Welf]

While my favorite lolcow, he's not a good entry-level for normies.

The final Josiah tape is a good place to start, I think. The deranged threats, childing, and exceedingly gay mannerisms are great entertainment value, and who doesn't love a prank call where the pranked engages so vigorously with the prankster?

Give them some of the funnier felony telephone harassment texts after that (not Lizard King, he requires more context), along with such hilarious Fun Fat Facts as how he built his fence backwards, salted his own garden, and abandoned his daughter. Then get them to listen to the 7/25/2022 meltdown audio. If they're not hooked on Pat by the time he's screaming to the police at 1:30 in the morning about grinding black children into pepperoni, they probably won't ever be.

 

[KingOfGains]

Pat seems way too attracted himself to have any attention to spare for another human. But he does claim to (let Lynne) pay for the gym with the notorious gay hookup sauna and steam room.

Claims to go to the gym. But that's an obvious lie. No one who "goes to the gym for decades" gets fatter and fatter as he has with literally no muscle to show for it. He could at least make his forearms slightly bigger from jerking it.

 

[Markorian]

While my favorite lolcow, he's not a good entry-level for normies. On the surface, he's like your average terminally online twitter faggot, of which there's thousands. A good lolcow 101 is a cobes or cwc. I've shown family and friends the bugrito and "I'm workin' on it." I can't think of a good intro to Fatrick lore. Maybe bombing at standup? But even that isn't really that interesting on its own. It's a big fat puzzle with a lot of pieces that don't make sense until you put them together.

The final Josiah tape is a good place to start, I think. The deranged threats, childing, and exceedingly gay mannerisms are great entertainment value, and who doesn't love a prank call where the pranked engages so vigorously with the prankster?

Give them some of the funnier felony telephone harassment texts after that (not Lizard King, he requires more context), along with such hilarious Fun Fat Facts as how he built his fence backwards, salted his own garden, and abandoned his daughter. Then get them to listen to the 7/25/2022 meltdown audio. If they're not hooked on Pat by the time he's screaming to the police at 1:30 in the morning about grinding black children into pepperoni, they probably won't ever be.

I got a friend of mine who's tangentially into lolcow stuff (old enough to remember the golden era of chrischan) to have a cursory interest in pat through the half marathon story.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Claims to go to the gym. But that's an obvious lie. No one who "goes to the gym for decades" gets fatter and fatter as he has with literally no muscle to show for it. He could at least make his forearms slightly bigger from jerking it.

Maybe if he was packing on pounds for powerlifting but we've all seen this guys arms. He hasn't lifted in his life.

 

[Something Awful]

Pigster is drinking and watching Battlestar Galactica. His grammar disgusts me. "I will use" is not a complete sentence. You can't just arbitrarily throw in full stops between words, that's not how it works. Child. But it's the only trick this professional author has in his bag for when he wants to emphasise something he thinks is badass.

Claims to go to the gym. But that's an obvious lie. No one who "goes to the gym for decades" gets fatter and fatter as he has with literally no muscle to show for it. He could at least make his forearms slightly bigger from jerking it.

He did go to the gym and got somewhat fit for a brief period of a few years after his divorce and before Trump and the Redditors completely buck-broke him. Then started his rapid descent to becoming a blobfish.

How does he mentally square this circle ? He doxed himself by posting his address on an envelope. How is that "not how doxxing works"?"

Hush now, baby child. Doggedly denying obvious reality is the only defense mechanism Rick has got left, you can't take it away from him lest we lose the prize pig to suicide.

 

[Rimanah]

Claims to go to the gym. But that's an obvious lie. No one who "goes to the gym for decades" gets fatter and fatter as he has with literally no muscle to show for it. He could at least make his forearms slightly bigger from jerking it.

He said he was going to the gym. Never said he was working out.
He just popped by for a sauna quickie in between pepperoni hunting.

 

[rusty shackleford 1]

While my favorite lolcow, he's not a good entry-level for normies. On the surface, he's like your average terminally online twitter faggot, of which there's thousands. A good lolcow 101 is a cobes or cwc. I've shown family and friends the bugrito and "I'm workin' on it." I can't think of a good intro to Fatrick lore. Maybe bombing at standup? But even that isn't really that interesting on its own. It's a big fat puzzle with a lot of pieces that don't make sense until you put them together.

Honestly the cryptic web chronicles video series breaks down the fat lore into bite size pieces that are easily digestible for normies. The videos aren’t very long and they hit the highlights and make you want to watch more. I’ve tried to get into cobes and cwc but there’s so much lore and the threads are so long I don’t ever know where to start.

Pat embodies everything detestable about human nature, he’s a good cow that doesn’t make you feel morally bad for laughing at him. His fat insistence that he’s the most intelligent, interesting, in shape man on the planet juxtaposed with his pitiful reality and condescending nature make him easy to laugh at and hate watch. A screenshot or two of him talking down to fans and political allies with a “btw he threatened to murder his newborn daughter and ex wife” with an added dash of Josiah 5, and you’ve got a Pat poster for life. He’s my favorite cow.

 

[OtherLastTrainHome]

Pat embodies everything detestable about human nature

wrong in every last delusional detail as always, stalker. enjoy prison.

 

[AnOminous]

Pat embodies everything detestable about human nature, he’s a good cow that doesn’t make you feel morally bad for laughing at him.

He literally begs for and deserves every single bad thing that happens to him that it's almost impossible to have any sympathy for him at all.

He's just such a fucking worm.

 

[Something Awful]

Honestly the cryptic web chronicles video series breaks down the fat lore into bite size pieces that are easily digestible for normies. The videos aren’t very long and they hit the highlights and make you want to watch more.

Cryptic Web Chronicles is good, though maybe not super normie-friendly, since it uses bad words like calling him a fat faggot. I think that's very funny combined with the mock-serious "true crime" style and the voice, but some people instantly register it as something very sus and probably Nazi-adjacent, and so are unable to appreciate the humor.

Pat embodies everything detestable about human nature, he’s a good cow that doesn’t make you feel morally bad for laughing at him.

Pat embodies the duality of man. Trained knife fighter who will incapacitate you in seconds or a victim afraid for his life? Political firebrand who influences national and international affairs or just a humble pepperoni maker? He contains multitudes, and ungodly levels of fat.












Sounds like he definitely meets the definition of a limited-purpose public figure.




Weird life goals: accomplished.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

I like how Patrick calls himself a science fiction fan but doesn't read any novels and only knows more modern crap. This guy probably thinks a thunderfighter is what farts in his wife's vagina. To paraphrase a better show. Well, I'm scheduled for prisoning and if I miss it I could be in a lot of trouble.

 

[AnOminous]

I like how Patrick calls himself a science fiction fan but doesn't read any novels and only knows more modern crap. This guy probably thinks a thunderfighter is what farts in his wife's vagina. To paraphrase a better show. Well, I'm scheduled for prisoning and if I miss it I could be in a lot of trouble.

I've never seen him say anything that evinces that this 1.2 GPA retard has ever even read a book. Nothing he's said about any franchise from Soy Wars to Dune to anything else indicates he's even read a single book.

This fat pig has never read a book in his life, or if he did, he utterly failed to understand it.

 

[Ted Kaczynski]

He literally begs for and deserves every single bad thing that happens to him that it's almost impossible to have any sympathy for him at all.

He's just such a fucking worm.

He’s kind of more like a rat, I think. Eats literal shit all day and bites anyone that tries to help him or gets close.
also, rats are usually fat as fuck in Milwaukee.