Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Something Awful]

I've never seen him say anything that evinces that this 1.2 GPA retard has ever even read a book. Nothing he's said about any franchise from Soy Wars to Dune to anything else indicates he's even read a single book.

This fat pig has never read a book in his life, or if he did, he utterly failed to understand it.

Wait, you're supposed to... "read" them?

 

[Cactuar King]

Honestly the cryptic web chronicles video series breaks down the fat lore into bite size pieces that are easily digestible for normies. The videos aren’t very long and they hit the highlights and make you want to watch more. I’ve tried to get into cobes and cwc but there’s so much lore and the threads are so long I don’t ever know where to start.

Pat embodies everything detestable about human nature, he’s a good cow that doesn’t make you feel morally bad for laughing at him. His fat insistence that he’s the most intelligent, interesting, in shape man on the planet juxtaposed with his pitiful reality and condescending nature make him easy to laugh at and hate watch. A screenshot or two of him talking down to fans and political allies with a “btw he threatened to murder his newborn daughter and ex wife” with an added dash of Josiah 5, and you’ve got a Pat poster for life. He’s my favorite cow.

Oh, this reminds me of what I've been meaning to say the last few months when I was away from the Farms. I don't think I've seen anyone mention this, but Rick really heavily reminds me of Shawn Eckhardt. Fat, delusional, a compulsive liar...

The only difference is that Shawn isn't as fat.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

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I never heard of him until this thread showed off his attempt to make a beef wellington and if tens of thousands of people had his books he'd be a best selling offer. He'll never be that. He can't even sell a thousand copies in a year let alone a month and his books are given out for free.

 

[This Machine Milks Cows]

How does he mentally square this circle ? He doxed himself by posting his address on an envelope.

Yeah, it is stuff like this that sometimes gets me wondering whether Patrick S. Tomlinson is actually a real person at all, and is not just an extremely long-running and dedicated bit from a world-class comedian/actor. It is just so ludicrous that a real person couldn't possibly think it.

Pat embodies everything detestable about human nature, he’s a good cow that doesn’t make you feel morally bad for laughing at him.

What I love about Pat is that he produces enormous quantities of milk and that milk is nearly always fresh and tasty. He is about 90% hilarious and only about 10% enraging. So many of the cows here are just rage-inducing. Someone like a Boogie is about 70% enraging, 20% astonishing and 10% funny.

Bossman or a new favorite of mine Worldoftshirts have a similar hilarious/enraging ratio but they are more surface-level clown cows, not the multi-leveled marvel of our beloved Pat.

 

[Meriasek]

How does he mentally square this circle ? He doxed himself by posting his address on an envelope. How is that "not how doxxing works"?"

Usually boils down to a Technicality Tomlinson. "Doxxing" to him means someone actively sleuthing and likely using illegal means to figure out someone's address and personal data. Posting your own shit to the Internet for everyone to see is not "doxxing", it's an "oopsie doodles", and everyone knowing your home address after that must have gotten it through "real" doxxing, somehow.
Look, Pat is kinda sorta retarded. What he "thinks" and reality rarely ever line up.

 

[IDanceonTrannyGraves]

Uhoh, Patrick's funding might be up.

https://x.com/jondelarroz/status/1819222158033539311

Breaking News: Jeffe Kennedy (who doesn't even write sci-fi) just RESIGNED as SFWA president!!!!!

 

[Immortal Technique Vol.2]

View attachment 6281647

"individuals who have gained prominence in a particular field"

lolcow is a particular field. A very particular field indeed. I would laugh pretty hard if one day KF forum view/post counts help solidify someone as a public figure in court. There are only a hand full of people on this site that have bigger thread numbers than these:

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

Null finally getting subpoenaed and dragged into court as an expert witness to establish fatrick is public and pubic figure would be so hilarious.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

"individuals who have gained prominence in a particular field"

lolcow is a particular field. A very particular field indeed. I would laugh pretty hard if one day KF forum view/post counts help solidify someone as a public figure in court. There are only a hand full of people on this site that have bigger thread numbers than these:
View attachment 6282257

I mean some how Vic was a public figure and I didn't know who the fuck he was really until the lawsuit so any obscure person in media can be a public figure.

 

[Uncle Buck]

Null finally getting subpoenaed and dragged into court as an expert witness to establish fatrick is public and pubic figure would be so hilarious.

"Josiah Munoz" getting subpoenaed and dragged into court as an expert witness to establish Fatboy is a public figure would be even more so.

 

[WelperHelper99]

I've never seen him say anything that evinces that this 1.2 GPA retard has ever even read a book. Nothing he's said about any franchise from Soy Wars to Dune to anything else indicates he's even read a single book.

This fat pig has never read a book in his life, or if he did, he utterly failed to understand it.

I doubt he has read the basics like Dune or Starship Troopers. He just watched Star Trek and Stargate and based his entire writing style off of television.

 

[Judge Holden]

Ok so I finally got round to that SomaAI thing and while I'm not sure of the genre choice I am seeing great potential in using it for my uh....purposes

[Verse]
Fatrick on the run
Can't find his pen
Judge Holden's after him
Gotta flee again

[Verse 2]
Streets of Milwaukee
Feet hit the ground
Naked Judge behind him
Chasing all around

[Chorus]
Run Fatrick run
Don't look back
Judge Holden's cumming
Get back on track

[Verse 3]
Books unwritten
Chances all gone
Ink spills behind him
Writing's all done

[Verse 4]
Heart is pounding
Sweat on his brow
Milwaukee's calling
Nowhere to hide now

[Chorus]
Run Fatrick run
Don't look back
Judge Holden's cumming
Get back on track

Lyrics were auto generated....didnt see the "custom song" setting until I used up all my credits. Also need to figger out how to jailbreak it so I can make lyrics to my tastes

 

[Cactuar King]

Ok so I finally got round to that SomaAI thing and while I'm not sure of the genre choice I am seeing great potential in using it for my uh....purposes

View attachment 6282471

Lyrics were auto generated....didnt see the "custom song" setting until I used up all my credits. Also need to figger out how to jailbreak it so I can make lyrics to my tastes

I assume you rape a pig on stage during the live shows?

 

[Judge Holden]

I assume you rape a pig on stage during the live shows?

Nah, aint got the budget for that. Gotta use a Guinea Pig

Guinea Pig incidentally is the nickname used for the wop variant of pat in the fatrick multiverse, who lives in Boston and is perpetually assailed by stunads on the internet sending endless shitty pizza orders to his apartment

Also Leslay ups her stalkerchild game, the pig declares this will be added as evidence to the lawlsuit

Schrodinger's Pig may or may not be suing you/about to arrest you for cyberterrorism at any given time. Thus both are simultaneously correct on the quantum level.

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

Also Leslay ups her stalkerchild game, the pig declares this will be added as evidence to the lawlsuit

I love that these two retards, one an unlovable fucking asshole of a repressed faggot, and the other a lovable libtard, are in a spiral that can only result in another lolsuit from one side or another.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

I love that these two retards, one an unlovable fucking asshole of a repressed faggot, and the other a lovable libtard, are in a spiral that can only result in another lolsuit from one side or another.

Either way we win and Patrick is one step closer to another divorce and on the street living in the car.

 

[Judge Holden]

Either way we win and Patrick is one step closer to another divorce and on the street living in the car.

A Streetcar Named Patrick is one of Tennessee Williams's more obscure and unpopular plays, although not without its merits. The scene when Marlon Brando breaks in to Fatrick's half hovel and forcibly assfucks him turducken style (double-butter lubed) while screaming drunkenly about the Napoleonic Code and wearing a bucket on his head is haunting to read in print, and must have been downright tearjerking to have seen in its one and only showing back in 49 before riotous behaviour from the local negro population over some obscure bratwurst dispute shut the production down

 

[Fake News Anchor]

So whose brother is this?
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The Patpill is a hard one to swallow. Not for everyone.

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

I've had friends become interested in my Pat stories because some are objectively funny. Telling a normie that there's a guy on the internet who "childs" people usually sparks some interest because it's so odd. My friend found it hilarious when I told him that Pat's patio furniture got "donated" several times by trolls

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

I've had friends become interested in my Pat stories because some are objectively funny. Telling a normie that there's a guy on the internet who "childs" people usually sparks some interest because it's so odd. My friend found it hilarious when I told him that Pat's patio furniture got "donated" several times by trolls

Introducing people to patposting is something that takes a bit of people skills.

Which is something that everyone on the website, if combined, might be able to unfavorably compared to Chris.

We're a bunch of fucking autistic retards.