Off-Topic Detransitioner/Desister Stories - People you know or heard about deciding to return to their original gender/sex

[TruffleSpark]

It sucks that detransitioners be their own support system. Especially when it comes to healthcare stuff, but doctors are at best clueless about this stuff and at worst so pozzed they will actively turn them away lest they be labelled transphobic.

I don't think that's true.

that sounds rough

Label me a pessimist, but I don't trust those studies, studies that say trans medicine is bad are going to have a harder time getting published so there is a bias here. At least it makes the sadsacks in r/detrans feel better.

 

[soulless guarantee]

I wasn't quite sure which thread to post this in, but this seems suitable.

Ritchie Herron is a MTF who has since detransitioned. OCD gay male, who felt railroaded into getting penile inversion.

Today a video has gone up on the Andrew Gould / Heretics channel interviewing Richie. Andrew's channel hosts interviews, particularly focused on people speaking out on woke culture, although he has had some oddball guests.

His final question is always "who is a heretic that you admire?". Richie's answer? None other than specifically naming a certain Josh Moon, aka @Null , and points to KF for the work that posters do to point out the dark side of the transgender medical world, the hug boxes etc. Says that he personally knows of proto-troons that have been pulled back from the brink thanks to the SRS thread. Particularly funny is Andrew then telling his viewers to check out Kiwi Farms, although I am not under the impression he knew at the time of recording what KF was.

Mobilefag link to video, apologies but on mobile so dont know how to embed YT links or get an archive copy (although I wouldn't think Andrew will take this down of his own volition). Trigger warning: British

 

[soup peddler]

I'm FTMTF, I transitioned and went on testosterone when I was 19, around a year after being raped and subsequently relapsing into previously-managed anorexia, My gender therapist told me that she had many trans men clients who had anorexia as girls, but going on testosterone made it just dissipate like magic, because they "felt an overwhelming sense of well-being from being on the correct hormones".

I went on testosterone, and for a while, my ED did get better....

But of fucking course it did. My anorexia, even as a younger teen, was born out of rape and the constant expectation of girls to be cute/pretty/fuckable. Anorexia is a response to the fucked way the world treats girls. Of fucking course deluding myself that I was a man helped.

Plus... testosterone is a strong appetite stimulant that just gives you muscle. Of fucking course it works. It's not some miracle happiness drug for the gender special, it's anabolic steroids.

Four years later I just lost it because the trans community was just too fucking idiotic and deluded, myself included, and I couldn't keep up the stupid charade any longer. People would call me a man and inside I thought "no I'm not, and I don't think you believe it".

It could be worse... I still have all my hair, body/facial hair is minimal and addressable, and my voice is relatively smooth and androgynous. But I'm voice training still, and I have to lose weight carefully to fix my stupid male fat distribution and it's so hard not to fall back into the ED patterns.

I just feel like such an idiot for falling for this crap and refusing the sanity my mom and grandmother offered... they're glad it's finally over, but I just feel sick, ashamed, and disgusting.

 

[LimeRikki]

I just feel like such an idiot for falling for this crap and refusing the sanity my mom and grandmother offered... they're glad it's finally over, but I just feel sick, ashamed, and disgusting.

If, and only if you feel comfortable doing so and can do so without power leveling: how would you say your relationship was with your mother and grandmother before, during, and after transition; and what are some of the ways your relationships have changed for the better since you detransitioned?

 

[soup peddler]

If, and only if you feel comfortable doing so and can do so without power leveling: how would you say your relationship was with your mother and grandmother before, during, and after transition; and what are some of the ways your relationships have changed for the better since you detransitioned?

Before I transitioned, I argued with my mom somewhat (she wanted me to be more feminine and wasn't accepting of my dating girls), but we were generally pretty close, and I was close with my grandmother. While I was transitioning, I was distant with both of them, since they didn't approve and I wouldn't hear about it. This was particularly stupid because my grandmother was a high school counselor who had fantastic insight into her trans students' experiences, and I just didn't listen to her. I still feel like such an ingrate.

Eventually they stopped trying to convince me, and our relationship somewhat improved, but I was always kind of hesitant to open up to them, which hurt them. I really did just choose my friends over them mostly... I've been trying to apologize and rebuild since then, but I wasted time none of us will get back.

Since detransitioning, I'm much closer with both of them and feel like I can freely talk to them as adult women for the first time ever? It's been very emotionally freeing, and they seem happy to have me back. They want me to talk to my tween second cousin who wants to go on testosterone. I'm not sure how to convince her, though... outside sanity didn't affect me until I had to learn the hard way.

 

[gwimbly]

mtftm here. was on pills for maybe 8 years i'd say, starting at age 20. thankfully never did anything permanent, but still. i was always a bit more soft and feminine then most other guys, but somehow i got into my head that me not being some alpha male gigachad meant i was supposed to be a girl. started correlating things of just not being hyper masculine with "proof" of this delusion. at age 20, i ended my relationship with my fiance to """fix myself""" and started seeing a tranny therapist. looking back, i am pretty sure he was an agp that got some off to transing people. mr therapist then got it in his head that i am a "serious case" and pushed me past the three month wait time. i started the pills, i really thought i was doing the right thing, etc etc. i absolutely destroyed friendships and relationships, citing "transphobia" or "jealousy." had few moments of doubt here or there over the years, but shoved them down.

after maybe 6 or 7 years, a friend i had known for 14 years started trooning and agping hard. him citing me as on a pedestal for this degernate behaviour was the first thing that made me question if i'd fucked up. if he got his pills in 15 minutes (thanks planned parenthood) and he was a blatant agp, then maybe i could have been a mistake too. over the following two years, i questioned more and more until i finally realised that yeah this was a mistake. i have started to persue the process of undoing the mess i've made of my life. if any of the therapists had just told me that it's okay to be a bit faggy, that would have saved me a lot of pain and misery. furious that the medical system just allows this to happen in the name of "life saving care." genuinely wouldnt be surprised if a good chunk of 41%ers are guys like me that realised they've made a mess of their lives too and chose that way out. i envy them.

thanks for letting me share, if anyone has any questions i'm happy to answer. i'll do anything i can to keep people from making this same mistake i did.

 

[TruffleSpark]

I think there's an old Exulansic video where she compares genital reassignment surgery to sexual assault. Am I remembering that correctly? Super fucked up. This sub is a never ending well of sad stories.

 

[LimeRikki]

41%ers are guys like me that realised they've made a mess of their lives too and chose that way out. i envy them.

Its going to be ok.

You made a mistake, but now you have the experience that can help other people and save them from making the same mistake. You have value. There's no need for talk like that.

had few moments of doubt here or there over the years, but shoved them down.

What were some of those small doubts you had and what were some of the ways you pushed them down?

and started seeing a tranny therapist. looking back, i am pretty sure he was an agp that got some off to transing people.

What gave you this impression? Is there a specific moment looking back where his beahvior was especially agp?

if any of the therapists had just told me that it's okay to be a bit faggy, that would have saved me a lot of pain and misery.

If you could share this sentiment with your past self, what would you say?

(I know that questioning trans people will sometimes come to this thread when they're not sure if they want to continue down that path, or if they were ever trans to begin with, and maybe if they can recognize some of their own thoughts in your responses, that might help them)

 

[AI generated waifu]

thanks for letting me share, if anyone has any questions i'm happy to answer. i'll do anything i can to keep people from making this same mistake i did.

Good on you for waking up and starting the healing process. Wish you all the best!

Question : are you currently 'out' as someone who stopped doing the trans larp to your friends and family, or are you still just hanging on without being explicit about this? If it's the former, well, how did people take it? Hopefully they handled it okay, esp your agp friend.

 

[Marvin]

"felt an overwhelming sense of well-being from being on the correct hormones".

This is fucking wild.

As you note, testosterone feels fucking great because, well, it's a fucking steroid. No shit it makes you feel good.

So often the quacks in this field say dumb shit like this and I can never figure out where they lie between "true believer" and "completely fucking lying".

mtftm here. was on pills for maybe 8 years i'd say, starting at age 20. thankfully never did anything permanent, but still. i was always a bit more soft and feminine then most other guys, but somehow i got into my head that me not being some alpha male gigachad meant i was supposed to be a girl.

Just curious, and feel free to ignore if this is too personal, but how's your physical health? Eight years is a long time. Did you need to do anything to bring your health back to baseline, or did your body just do its thing?

 

[soup peddler]

So often the quacks in this field say dumb shit like this and I can never figure out where they lie between "true believer" and "completely fucking lying".

The aforementioned therapist is married to a trans man (they were lesbians when they got married)... so she bought everything 100%. Conflict of interest much?

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

The aforementioned therapist is married to a trans man (they were lesbians when they got married)... so she bought everything 100%. Conflict of interest much?

Therapists: I'm such an angel and I wanna help others (to justify my own insecurity)!
Trannies: I'm such an angel and I wanna give kids the push I wish I had gotten (cause I easily write off everything bad in my life to an awkward.. puberty? wow what a shocker)!

Shit I wish life was that easy. "Oh I didn't have tits at the age of 17, that's why I'm miserable".

 

[SpookyObserver]

The aforementioned therapist is married to a trans man (they were lesbians when they got married)... so she bought everything 100%. Conflict of interest much?

There are so many tranny therapists now, they quite literally have so much control over the subject. The gender affirmation shit is theirs and obviously it NEEDS to fit since they are living proof of what you are getting into. They have to believe it or it all falls apart. They have to do whatever they can to convince themselves their lasting depression, anxiety, mood swings, aggressiveness, and social inadequacy is something other than their tranny shit.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Interesting post (archive) from a 19-year-old woman on Reddit (for now). No medical treatments as a child, just social transition, and wouldn't you know, she grew into being comfortable as a woman. (Side note: she also used to be fat, and she "came out" after her dad left.)

Spoiler: pasted text

i don’t think i want to be trans anymore (self.TrueOffMyChest)

submitted 9 hours ago * by throwaway8292929384

edit and clarification bc people cant see my comment: i have had 0 medical transition as of right now all medical intervention is planned and i have appointments for it as of next year but right now i am still 100% biologicaly a female

i’m 19 born a girl and came out as trans wating to be a boy when i was 12. i’ve been living as a male since then and pass quite well my voice is the only thing that gives me away as trans really.

but recently i met a guy, he thought i was a girl and i went along with it even telling him a different girly name, he completely thinks i’m a girl just got short hair nothing about trans ness.

it’s been like 3 months now and i’ve created profiles online pretending to be a girl to see how it is and i literally dream about what if i was a pretty girl.

i don’t know if im trans and should be a boy or if i was just self loathing bc i was fat and now i’m very much not.

after i lost weight i started feeling more uncomfortable again but uncomfortable that my outside didn’t match my body

my head is so confused and i have appointments lined up for process of transitioning.

when i picture myself in my head as an adult i can’t see myself being a woman but at the same time right now i don’t think i want to pretend to be a man anymore.

i wanna wear cute little bras and leg warmers and be treated like a girl but i don’t know if this is all in my head or not i need serious help rn.

i’m also worried bc my ex who was also trans detransitioned a weeks before we broke up and i’m scared it’s just the trauma of our relationship pulling through but at the same time when i came out as a boy it was just after my dad left so what if it is all a manifestation of trauma. i’m scared i don’t want to ruin my life and my gender is the cause of it.

another edit: i just want to say thank u to everyone commenting and telling me what they think, i didn’t come for advice and was only expecting like 4 comments but seeing what everyone has to say is extremely helpful. i am on the waiting list for therapy and have been in and out of therapy all my life since i was 10. i also want to say i don’t condone any transphobia or the opposite. keep it friendly i’m happy this has caused a good discussion and thank you all much love

That's some some good self-insight; maybe she was paying attention in therapy (and not just getting affirmed).

Good thing puberty blockers will put a stop to this happening to other kids: we need to keep their minds arrested at their least-able-to-cope life stage with no chance of gaining stability outside of a bottle, with a price tag.

 

[melty]

I just feel like such an idiot for falling for this crap and refusing the sanity my mom and grandmother offered... they're glad it's finally over, but I just feel sick, ashamed, and disgusting.

It might interest you to know anorexia is not really what it is presented or commonly understood to be either. There's a great book that goes into this, and I think it's pretty early on they cover it so you can probably just read the sample. amazon.com/dp/B00321OR8K/

I'm sure you've heard of culture-bound illness, but the book greatly expands on the idea and specifically the harms caused by Western psychology across the globe. The idea is that people under duress act out in ways that are known and "approved" by their culture. In our culture, for young women, that's anorexia and troonism. In another culture, it's something else.

The problem with our culture vs. other cultures is that the entire psychiatric complex just feeds into these sicknesses more, empowering them by formalizing them, creating standard symptoms, spreading information, etc. And the cure for our culture-bound sicknesses? Thousands of dollars in therapy, doctors, surgeries, inpatient treatments, and big pharma prescriptions.

It doesn't have to be this way. People have been dealing with mental issues for thousands of years without our "modern" system. I'm convinced at this point the entire field of psychology is rotten to the core and needs to be completely dismantled. I don't know how anybody can look at the mental health of youth in our country and think any of this shit has any validity or does anything but make money for the people shilling the scam "treatments". It's quite obviously causing more harm than good, from troonism to overdiagnosing autism, anxiety, depression, and a million other things. Every decade has its own horrific scandal from these fucking monsters. If troonism isn't the final straw, there'll be some other bullshit preying on mentally ill people next decade.

You're not an idiot, there is an entire field out there masquerading as a science when it's anything but. It's promoted heavily by our media and government as the best, maybe even the only, way to deal with mental health issues. They're also fucking manipulative by nature, if you spend any time learning psychology you eventually will pick up on ways to manipulate others, even if you don't intend to. And that's not even getting into how many mental health providers are riddled with issues themselves and get into this shit for not-so-pure-reasons.

 

[Hassou Tobi]

https://www.thefp.com/p/how-did-planned-parenthood-become

"Insurance claim information provided to The Free Press by the Manhattan Institute shows that at least 40,000 patients went to Planned Parenthood for this purpose last year alone, a number that has risen tenfold since 2017. The largest proportion, about 40 percent, were 18- to 22-year-olds."

...

"Then the first nurse took Hineman’s blood, and she was given a prescription for testosterone gel. She remembers all this taking under 30 minutes."

 

[Cactus Concerto]

People have been dealing with mental issues for thousands of years without our "modern" system. I'm convinced at this point the entire field of psychology is rotten to the core and needs to be completely dismantled. I don't know how anybody can look at the mental health of youth in our country and think any of this shit has any validity or does anything but make money for the people shilling the scam "treatments".

I will say that I do believe for some it is a good starting point and can lead to better understanding of why one might feel a particular way - provided we are dealing with doctors who have advice beyond taking pills indefinitely and routinely coming back for listening sessions.

But at the end of the day, what a lot of these people need is support from loved ones and a support system to fall back on. Simply having somebody to share one's troubles with can help tremendously in alleviating the types of feelings and concerns that cause children especially to fall into the gender cult. Another thing is making plans to leave or change a situation that is harming one: parental issues, substance abuse, puberty - even something as mundane as worrying about one's grades to the nth degree can be eased with some planning and a shoulder to cry, scream, or rant at.

Without a community to fall back on, the individual crumbles. And when left alone, often we as humans give into our darkest thoughts and worst habits. We're social creatures by nature but the increasing divide socially and with the way a lot of us spend our time is a breeding ground for fogged minds and dangerous decisions.

A lot of these people just want to feel loved, cared for, appreciated, wanted. The gender cult gives them that when the people that should (often times family) simply do not.

 

[Hooked on phobics]

I have no idea where I should put this, so I'm putting it here. Poor girl transed in her teens, got out, and is persuing a career in music. Its kinda magical listening to her singing, after hearing her history. Nature is healing.

 

[Bloo]

The NHS are finally going to support detransitioners. It’s crazy that only now this is available.

 

[LimeRikki]

The NHS are finally going to support detransitioners. It’s crazy that only now this is available.

It's a shame that it took this long but it's happening and this is amazing.

For the first time, someone's actually going to be able to gather quality data about detransitioners, and this is going to be a huge deal, even though the incoming cohort that agrees to surveys or to be researched is likely going to be small.

It won't happen overnight. It's going to be a few years because that's normal for research, but this could have a huge impact for the better in helping people not make irreversible mistakes.