Culture Your Table Is Ready. The Clock Is Ticking. - Restaurants are enforcing some strict time limits — whether or not dinner is finished.

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By Megan Krigbaum
7:00 A.M.

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Illustration: Kate Dehler

Earlier this summer, I met up with friends at the latest restaurant-that’s-more-like-a-bar on the Lower East Side. As they handed out our menus, our server reminded us with a tone of gentle but unwavering conviction: We needed to be out in 90 minutes. We raced through dinner — cocktails, a dozen plates to share — and in the end had time left over. (We ordered a bottle of wine to max out our minutes.)

I’d seen what happens to diners who blow their deadlines. Tables had been getting the pink slip in Brooklyn a few weeks before at an otherwise-cozy spot in Fort Greene. I was seated next to a couple still picking at the bones of their whole fish when a manager asked whether they planned on staying for dessert. “We’re going to need this table back shortly,” she said. Off in a corner, a three-top got the boot during their last round of drinks.

For as long as anyone can remember, servers have nudged New Yorkers along, faux-casually asking “Can I get you anything else?” and dropping checks as soon as customers set down their spoons. Now they’re being more blunt about it: Firm time limits are presented on reservation apps (Bar Contra, which opened this month, states on its OpenTable page, “Your reservation will grant you 90 minutes in one of our tables”), they’re mentioned at host stands, and they’re openly reiterated whenever diners get a little too comfortable after the crème brûlée is cleared.

Everyone has had the experience of walking into a restaurant without a reservation and discovering that, yes, there’s a table available but the restaurant will need it back at a certain time for someone with a reservation. That’s easier to stomach than being told the table you’ve reserved well in advance nevertheless comes with a stopwatch.

Many in the industry, I discovered, still aren’t quite ready to talk about it on the record (one person called it “a nuanced dance,” another asked to be kept anonymous after we’d spoken). Practitioners of this movement — which include, among others, the Four Horsemen, Atoboy, Coqodaq, Eel Bar — are a particular style of restaurant that is casual in premise but run with the rigidity of a fine-dining establishment. They have an impressive choreography to their service to ensure they flip each table every hour and a half, seating the entire dining room three times per night. “If we don’t get those three turns, we don’t stay in business,” says Guy Gladstein, a managing partner at Figure Eight in the West Village. The 50-seat spot has an average guest check of around $65, Gladstein tells me. “That last turn is what’s keeping us going,” he says. (There, tables of one-to-three people are capped at 90 minutes; four or more people get two hours.)

Restaurant technology is such that streamlining and tracing the clockwork is possible via Resy and the point-of-sale system Toast, but the job of making sure groups actually leave still comes down to staff members. “A masterful server is dictating the pace without the guest feeling it,” says Amanda McMillan, general manager of the Four Horsemen. There isn’t much wiggle room: Everyone has to show up on time and order within a few minutes of sitting down. The kitchen can’t hit any snags that delay the dishes, and a warm bottle of Chablis can’t go into an ice bucket for 15 minutes to chill before it’s poured. “If there is a strict timeline that must be adhered to,” McMillan says, “it’s the restaurant’s job to manage that — if the restaurant can’t hit the mark of 90 minutes gracefully, that is on them.”

Of course, if the restaurant does its job and diners still don’t get the hint, less subtle tactics may be required. Gracefully convincing people to vacate a table requires quite a bit of skill, and with the perception that restaurants are pricier than ever, it becomes more difficult. At the Four Horsemen, if a table orders extra wine or just runs long, the servers negotiate with the host to stretch time or move the party to the bar or to Nightmoves, its sister spot next door. No matter what, the restaurant needs its two-tops back after two hours max. “That’s how long,” McMillan says, “it reasonably takes to have a nice dinner with us.”

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There is going to be/likely already is a mass extinction event of American Restaurants over the next decade. People are already being forced to cook at home again and I expect this will eventually cause the revival of small town restaurants once people do this for enough time and a family realizes they have a good recipe to share.
 
Weirdly, at least in my neck of the woods, both extreme of restaurants are doing much better than the middle. As in very cheap slop places who offer solid portions for lowish cost are making bank, and the ''experience'' restaurant that cost way too much are plodding along fine, since there are still a enough rich, retarded boomers.

The big losers are the middle ground ''family'' restaurant that serve passable to ok food. They all decided to raise the price a bunch because their costs are exploding, but nobody wants to pay 200 $ for a just OK meal.

So basically, I think the retarded faggolas that would pay 30 fucking bucks for a gold nugget will keep it alive, even if their sitting time is restricted.
 
Who exactly is the market for this? Someone willing to spend this much money on a dinner is far better off going to an actual high-end restaurant, someone that likes chicken nuggets can get them in a regular fast food place, like KFC or Popeyes, and someone who has enough money for them to not care about these prices is rich enough to hire a personal chef
People who have a compulsive need to see/be seen/publish to their social media that they ate at Dorsia whatever new headline-grabbing place just debuted so they can look like one of the high-living people.
 
I think I'd only throw a tantrum about this if the restaurant set a time limit and then failed to take orders and deliver food in a timely fashion. It's rare if I spend more than an hour at a restaurant unless it's being run by incompetents.
Who exactly is the market for this? Someone willing to spend this much money on a dinner is far better off going to an actual high-end restaurant, someone that likes chicken nuggets can get them in a regular fast food place, like KFC or Popeyes, and someone who has enough money for them to not care about these prices is rich enough to hire a personal chef
I am. KFC and Popeye's don't have gochujang.
 
Who exactly is the market for this? Someone willing to spend this much money on a dinner is far better off going to an actual high-end restaurant, someone that likes chicken nuggets can get them in a regular fast food place, like KFC or Popeyes, and someone who has enough money for them to not care about these prices is rich enough to hire a personal chef
Two main audiences

"Influencers" who want to show off unusual and overpriced food to their audiences.

Upper middle class people who want to peacock like the rich do, while eating what's effectively puffed up peasant food.
 
Yeah we get it guys there are no normies here

$30 doesn't get you all that much in a good restaurant these days and I'd rather spend $50 for a serving of something high quality that I can't make at home than eat at golden corral or whatever

The chicken is funny to laff at but it's probably really good. Also the per piece (plain) prices aren't even that crazy, you'll pay half that at a nigger mart. No shit it costs a lot to put hipster truffles on it
 
Cook at home. You can sit at the table as long as you like while you enjoy your cheaper food without having to go out. No reservation, no waiting for a faggy waiter to serve you food.
This. Urban bugmen will never take the home cooking pill, but it really does save money and helps you learn an important skill while you're at it. I have a mix of good country style recipes I've got from my family while growing up along with a few innovations I've done, and youtube videos are great for learning how to make new creations. Why would I pay $30+ for a crappy small steak and an overbaked potato when I can spend $20 and cook myself twice as big of a better cut of steak along with mushrooms, baked potato and asparagus? It takes like 30 minutes of effort and tastes a lot better.
 
The chicken is funny to laff at but it's probably really good. Also the per piece (plain) prices aren't even that crazy, you'll pay half that at a nigger mart. No shit it costs a lot to put hipster truffles on it
It's literally a McNugget, i.e. a blended chicken blob. I guarantee you it tastes identical. McDonalds charges 25 to 50 cents per nugget depending on quantity ordered. I could get 120 McNuggets for the price of the truffle nugget, and the McNuggets probably taste better because truffle does not go with fast food.

Expensive garnishes like truffles and caviar featured prominently on the menu is a sure sign that the place is not frequented by the wealthy.
 
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local buffets have signs up about a something or other time limit that's clearly more of a CYA when they need to tell some asshole to fuck off instead of being a hard rule
but yeah other than that you just stop refilling their drink and drop the check, it's not fucking rocket science
 
Who exactly is the market for this? Someone willing to spend this much money on a dinner is far better off going to an actual high-end restaurant, someone that likes chicken nuggets can get them in a regular fast food place, like KFC or Popeyes, and someone who has enough money for them to not care about these prices is rich enough to hire a personal chef
Libtards and the laptop caste are very good cooonsumers .
 
Remember the service industry? You know, where businesses served customers who gave them money in exchange, allowing the businesses to make more money? What happened?

Oh that's right, late stage capitalism happened, that peculiar form of capitalism that looks like socialism but is actually capitalism, academia promises, so we need to institute socialism immediately. Funny how that works.
 
One of the restaurants mentioned in the article, Coqodaq, serves a bucket of KFC for $38:
View attachment 6303864

Calling it a bucket is also generous as there is a very high false bottom:
View attachment 6303905View attachment 6303906

They also sell McNuggets for $3.50 a piece:
View attachment 6303868
or $16-$28 if you want fish eggs on top:
View attachment 6303874
View attachment 6303922
or $30 if you'd prefer truffles instead of caviar:
View attachment 6303873
View attachment 6303927

Reminder that this is for a SINGLE CHICKEN NUGGET.

You're not missing out on much if you refuse to patronize them.
I just want to dip nuggies in gochujang. What is this shit?
 
Who exactly is the market for this? Someone willing to spend this much money on a dinner is far better off going to an actual high-end restaurant, someone that likes chicken nuggets can get them in a regular fast food place, like KFC or Popeyes, and someone who has enough money for them to not care about these prices is rich enough to hire a personal chef
Yuppies, adult children with too much disposable income.
 
A dinner date recently wound up costing me about $130 last weekend with tip. It really destroys my mood and ruins the entire experience. Haven't run into this yet, but if I did, I'd just walk out. Fuck this. Let the entire industry burn to the fucking ground. You can't even feel bad for the waitstaff and whatnot, they don't get paid enough to give a fuck and I'm paying too much to enjoy it.

Seriously, pre-chinavirus, restaurants were decent. I go through my old receipts from business trips and wonder how the hell everything costs what it does now. Moreover, most people are cattle and don't care. Can't wait for November. It won't change anything, but either way, people are going to go insane and there's a lot of pent up hate and discontent to go around.
Cooking at home is soo much better.

My brother invited us to a restaurant to eat meat and their dry aged beef was 200-350 for a kilo.
It was good but not 200-350 good
I bought dried aged beef from a butcher I know and trust.
Was 75 per kilo. It was not as good as the restaurant one but pretty close.
 
One of the restaurants mentioned in the article, Coqodaq, serves a bucket of KFC for $38:
View attachment 6303864

Calling it a bucket is also generous as there is a very high false bottom:
View attachment 6303905View attachment 6303906

They also sell McNuggets for $3.50 a piece:
View attachment 6303868
or $16-$28 if you want fish eggs on top:
View attachment 6303874
View attachment 6303922
or $30 if you'd prefer truffles instead of caviar:
View attachment 6303873
View attachment 6303927

Reminder that this is for a SINGLE CHICKEN NUGGET.

You're not missing out on much if you refuse to patronize them.
Imagine asking for caviar in your chicken nuggies
 
Meanwhile, I'll be chowing down outside in front of Paco's Taco truck, as well as Chang's noodle cart while we talk about the stupidest shit as long as we want. Good job driving away customers into the welcoming arms of street food stalls.
 
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