- Joined
- Feb 5, 2021
She sounds like the teenage fast food worker from The Simpsons.
Elliot Page / Ellen Page - Former actress, starred in Juno. Turned into a pooner and divorced her wife because being a lesbian was not boosting her career anymore. Receives a daily dose of asspatting from Hollywood. Likes to show off her "male" body using fake abdominals.
- Thread starter Nicholas II of Russia
- Start date
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2021
"Conan! What is best in life?!"
"Uhm, you know, crush... your enemies? To like, see them driven... before you, I guess? And hear, uhm, like the uhm, the lamentations, you know? *feminine giggle* Of their women? That would be awesome? *stress sigh*"
Make. This. Happen. Hollywood.
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2020
Why is H**lywood so transphobic? Why can't Elliot just play a manly man instead of a transman? #smh"Conan! What is best in life?!"
"Uhm, you know, crush... your enemies? To like, see them driven... before you, I guess? And hear, uhm, like the uhm, the lamentations, you know? *feminine giggle* Of their women? That would be awesome? *stress sigh*"
Make. This. Happen. Hollywood.
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2018
You know your career is resting in piss and shit when you have to resort to a zoom call interview with a blobfish woman, whos channel has an average of 50 views per video, to promote your pooner fiction
Funnily enough, the shit audio quality makes her frog voice sound higher pitched
Funnily enough, the shit audio quality makes her frog voice sound higher pitched
Right Cross
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2020
Everything that happened in the latter half of Umbrella Academy is a fucking tragedy.
Ellen Page trooning out after the scripts had finished causing a massive re-write and Thomas Page Mcgee, another troon, was brought on "ensure that the storyline where Viktor comes out as trans was handled with care and respect". So much was done to make sure that Ellen was respected that anything resembling what Umbrella Academy was ceased to exist.
Here's a short example: The family, who is always at each other's throats and are vicious with their insults and actions with one another find out that their sister Vanya, (who they all have a significant distaste for even before she ended the world twice), is now going by Viktor. The family is in a heated discussion when suddenly Vanya mentions she is now Viktor. You would expect that any one of these insensitive siblings would comment negatively on this behavior. Even if they are all secretly identity politics progressives, surely any one of these people would find some mean thing to say. It doesn't need to be transphobic. It could be anything. Anything to show that the characters and the writing are still intact, any type of snide remark that could show that the writers haven't completely assassinated all of their characters.
Not one thing. Not only do they all accept her, they praise her. From this point on in the entire series, Viktor the character receives no meaningful pushback or character interaction, despite the amount of screen time he is given. Viktor is never on the back foot. Not in combat or dialogue. Viktor is no longer treated as a character, only as a tool. He becomes completely static. Viktor is always the last one standing, literally, in the final confrontation in Season 3, where he is the only one who has the power to do anything about the situation they're in. Every single scene with Victor is pandering garbage. He even gets asked to be the 'best man' of one of the brother's wedding.
Everything about Season 3 is so creatively bankrupt that it is insulting. Viktor is the best man? Not Five? Not Klaus? Most egregious, not Diego? Someone who Luthor has had a rivalry with since the beginning of the series, but we have been able to see them grow to be true brothers and friends?
Season 3 is a pooners' narcissistic love letter. Attempting to write scripture showcasing that she could live the life of a man with infallible masculinity. Wishing that those who she cares about would accept and praise her choice to transition. That she would be asked to receive one of the highest honors another man can get, being the best man at a wedding from someone who truly cares about you. From being someone who is powerless in their own body and hates themselves to someone who is confident, strong, and always in control. Not only against enemies, but friends and family as well.
Season 4 ends with all of the characters deciding in the very final act of the series that they not only need to kill themselves, but cease ever having existed in the first place. I can't think of a more tranny ending than suicide.
There is an ongoing narrative of trannies infiltrating communities and media, only to rot whatever they get their hands on from the inside out. No piece of media illustrates this so clearly as Umbrella Academy.
Ellen Page trooning out after the scripts had finished causing a massive re-write and Thomas Page Mcgee, another troon, was brought on "ensure that the storyline where Viktor comes out as trans was handled with care and respect". So much was done to make sure that Ellen was respected that anything resembling what Umbrella Academy was ceased to exist.
Here's a short example: The family, who is always at each other's throats and are vicious with their insults and actions with one another find out that their sister Vanya, (who they all have a significant distaste for even before she ended the world twice), is now going by Viktor. The family is in a heated discussion when suddenly Vanya mentions she is now Viktor. You would expect that any one of these insensitive siblings would comment negatively on this behavior. Even if they are all secretly identity politics progressives, surely any one of these people would find some mean thing to say. It doesn't need to be transphobic. It could be anything. Anything to show that the characters and the writing are still intact, any type of snide remark that could show that the writers haven't completely assassinated all of their characters.
Not one thing. Not only do they all accept her, they praise her. From this point on in the entire series, Viktor the character receives no meaningful pushback or character interaction, despite the amount of screen time he is given. Viktor is never on the back foot. Not in combat or dialogue. Viktor is no longer treated as a character, only as a tool. He becomes completely static. Viktor is always the last one standing, literally, in the final confrontation in Season 3, where he is the only one who has the power to do anything about the situation they're in. Every single scene with Victor is pandering garbage. He even gets asked to be the 'best man' of one of the brother's wedding.
Everything about Season 3 is so creatively bankrupt that it is insulting. Viktor is the best man? Not Five? Not Klaus? Most egregious, not Diego? Someone who Luthor has had a rivalry with since the beginning of the series, but we have been able to see them grow to be true brothers and friends?
Season 3 is a pooners' narcissistic love letter. Attempting to write scripture showcasing that she could live the life of a man with infallible masculinity. Wishing that those who she cares about would accept and praise her choice to transition. That she would be asked to receive one of the highest honors another man can get, being the best man at a wedding from someone who truly cares about you. From being someone who is powerless in their own body and hates themselves to someone who is confident, strong, and always in control. Not only against enemies, but friends and family as well.
Season 4 is much of the same. More pandering, and nothing but pandering for Viktor the entire season. You can feel McBees cowriting slathered all over season 4. The first we see of any of the family is Viktor, in his bar, with a woman coming in angrily breaking up with him. A bar patron comments on how Viktor has run through every woman in town. He is written in such a way where he is aggressive, constantly threatening to kick people's asses, and telling off his family when they attempt to talk to him, always the one in power. There is a scene where he pins down his father figure (who is an immortal alien with insane resources and planning skills) to the ground and takes his frustration out on him. All the while, screaming in Ellen Page's fucked up nasally raspy troon voice. From then on, he is acknowledged by his father, who apologizes to him and constantly refers to Viktor as "my boy".
Beyond the tranny pandering, McBee also added in some riveting social commentary on Cryptobros, Amazon Drivers pissing in bottles, and making the physically largest man in the show into a male stripper. Previously, issues that generally fall on the left side of the fence were handled with some depth. In season 2, the gang gets transferred back to the 1960s. One of the siblings is black, so incorporating racial relations and discrimination at least made sense as a plot line. It had depth, unlike the low hanging fruit attempts at 'jabs' that permeate season 4.
The Umbrella Academy comic was written by Gerard Way, headliner of My Chemical Romance. The television series has been known for its great scenes using music. All this is to say that the people behind the show were passionate about the musical choices and created many scenes to coincide with the score. Even if the tranny has stuck his fucked up hands on the character writing, I could at the very least expect some impressive scenes directed with some good music in mind.
Imagine my shock when the first musical scene is using fucking Baby Shark played on repeat, which has all of the characters vomiting in the most childish grossout humor way imaginable, only for it to end with Viktor being the one to stop everything. Unbelievable.
Nothing like this appeared in Season 1 or 2. It's cheap, it's generic, and it's just fucking boring.
Beyond the tranny pandering, McBee also added in some riveting social commentary on Cryptobros, Amazon Drivers pissing in bottles, and making the physically largest man in the show into a male stripper. Previously, issues that generally fall on the left side of the fence were handled with some depth. In season 2, the gang gets transferred back to the 1960s. One of the siblings is black, so incorporating racial relations and discrimination at least made sense as a plot line. It had depth, unlike the low hanging fruit attempts at 'jabs' that permeate season 4.
The Umbrella Academy comic was written by Gerard Way, headliner of My Chemical Romance. The television series has been known for its great scenes using music. All this is to say that the people behind the show were passionate about the musical choices and created many scenes to coincide with the score. Even if the tranny has stuck his fucked up hands on the character writing, I could at the very least expect some impressive scenes directed with some good music in mind.
Imagine my shock when the first musical scene is using fucking Baby Shark played on repeat, which has all of the characters vomiting in the most childish grossout humor way imaginable, only for it to end with Viktor being the one to stop everything. Unbelievable.
Nothing like this appeared in Season 1 or 2. It's cheap, it's generic, and it's just fucking boring.
Season 4 ends with all of the characters deciding in the very final act of the series that they not only need to kill themselves, but cease ever having existed in the first place. I can't think of a more tranny ending than suicide.
There is an ongoing narrative of trannies infiltrating communities and media, only to rot whatever they get their hands on from the inside out. No piece of media illustrates this so clearly as Umbrella Academy.
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2017
"Well, Elliot. You're a man now, and the script calls for a woman. We respect your decision to be a man. Goodbye". God it would've been so based.
My take is that they were initially on board with the transition story and thought it would lead to a hit. After all, all of their elite friends in Hollywood were on board with the troon train, so that means everybody else in the world must be too, unless they're evil bigots, in which case their opinion doesn't matter.
Troons were supposed to be the next great civil rights fight, and they had a unique chance to be part of history by celebrating their brand new troon actor. The season would be met with praise and accolades for covering an important generational issue in a respectful way. It would be the modern Star Trek interracial kiss, Ellen coming out as gay, etc.
But that didn't pan out. The season wasn't met well by fans, and troons/Ellen Paige aren't popular enough outside of Hollywood and virtue signaling twitterati to draw in a new audience. It even came off as inauthentic to people who were open to the message, and it failed to tell a good story. It fell flat. On top of that, the culture war is shifting. So now the show is history. It's too bad, the first couple of seasons were pretty good and it had the potential to get even better, but they just kinda went the opposite direction instead.
Troons were supposed to be the next great civil rights fight, and they had a unique chance to be part of history by celebrating their brand new troon actor. The season would be met with praise and accolades for covering an important generational issue in a respectful way. It would be the modern Star Trek interracial kiss, Ellen coming out as gay, etc.
But that didn't pan out. The season wasn't met well by fans, and troons/Ellen Paige aren't popular enough outside of Hollywood and virtue signaling twitterati to draw in a new audience. It even came off as inauthentic to people who were open to the message, and it failed to tell a good story. It fell flat. On top of that, the culture war is shifting. So now the show is history. It's too bad, the first couple of seasons were pretty good and it had the potential to get even better, but they just kinda went the opposite direction instead.
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2021
It really felt like the showrunners were just trying to get the season over with, not least because they agreed to cutting it down to 6 episodes.
There's multiple plot threads that initially felt like they had the potential to go somewhere and then were left completely unaddressed. For example, the whole connection between Jennifer and Ben and the reason Jennifer was kept alive in a fake Truman Show town - that was all to try and prevent the Umbrella Academy encountering her, but there's seemingly no reason for Sir Reginald to have kept her alive; she served no purpose, keeping her alive was a massive risk and he's repeatedly shown to have been ruthless. I get his wife was there to soften him up this time around, but we're never shown any scene where he's talked into keeping Jennifer alive. It's not even addressed, it's just accepted that she was living in a fake town being run by Sir Reginald.
Jennifer's backstory is not explained either. The show doesn't have to tell you everything but it did feel like they just ran out of ideas - she's found inside a giant squid, but did she just grow in there? She's wearing clothes so she must have got them from somewhere, which means she didn't grow inside the squid. So why is she full of durango? Why is she drawn to Ben over the other siblings? There's also no clear reason why Sir Reginald brought marigold to Earth, when it apparently destroyed his planet. Not to mention the nature of "the cleanse" itself - I feel pretty certain that they just couldn't think of a good way to depict some sort of existential destruction and so they made it into a Cronenberg monster instead, because it makes no sense for that thing to be called "the cleanse".
Five and Lila going universe hopping also had a lot of potential but beyond "literally everything's the same, except the family aren't in town" and "standard post-apocalypse" we never see any of the other alternate universes. It's entirely unclear why they continued to live in the subway and eat rabbits when presumably most universes still had people in. I think them ending up having an affair after 7 years of universe hopping would be somewhat more believable if we were shown that all the other universes were destroyed and so Five really was the only person, but it didn't really serve any narrative purpose and if anything makes the ending worse, because Five and Diego never patch up (and out-of-universe incredibly uncomfortable that they got the actors to do that).
There's no reason for Luther to have gotten his ape body back. His powers had nothing to do with having an ape body, the ape body was the result of emergency medical treatment. There may have been a timeskip but besides one mention there's no further discussion of the fact his wife had been erased from existence by Allison. Who completely gets away scott free with everything - none of the family seem to hold much resentment towards her beyond the initial awkwardness of their first re-encounter, and meanwhile despite literally re-programming the universe to her desires her life ends up being mediocre. Ray's actor apparently refused to commit to another season and the in-universe explanation was just that he walked out on Allison, but that's really the closest thing to consequences she faces. The show runners argued he felt "out of time" since he was from the 1960s which is just pretty stupid for an already stupid show.
The start of Klaus's main b-plot was really bizarre because I don't understand why he'd go antagonise a drug dealer into shooting him like that, but once it got going it was a pretty fun side story that was actually pretty entertaining, at least until Allison got involved. But that's mostly because you give Robert Sheehan any script and it'd be entertaining, plus it was the last bit of storyline from the comics they had left.
Also why was Sir Reginald's wife on the moon? The fact that Luther had been sent to do pointless work on the moon just to keep him busy was a great twist and it doesn't make any sense that Sir Reginald's wife was up there.
Jennifer's backstory is not explained either. The show doesn't have to tell you everything but it did feel like they just ran out of ideas - she's found inside a giant squid, but did she just grow in there? She's wearing clothes so she must have got them from somewhere, which means she didn't grow inside the squid. So why is she full of durango? Why is she drawn to Ben over the other siblings? There's also no clear reason why Sir Reginald brought marigold to Earth, when it apparently destroyed his planet. Not to mention the nature of "the cleanse" itself - I feel pretty certain that they just couldn't think of a good way to depict some sort of existential destruction and so they made it into a Cronenberg monster instead, because it makes no sense for that thing to be called "the cleanse".
Five and Lila going universe hopping also had a lot of potential but beyond "literally everything's the same, except the family aren't in town" and "standard post-apocalypse" we never see any of the other alternate universes. It's entirely unclear why they continued to live in the subway and eat rabbits when presumably most universes still had people in. I think them ending up having an affair after 7 years of universe hopping would be somewhat more believable if we were shown that all the other universes were destroyed and so Five really was the only person, but it didn't really serve any narrative purpose and if anything makes the ending worse, because Five and Diego never patch up (and out-of-universe incredibly uncomfortable that they got the actors to do that).
There's no reason for Luther to have gotten his ape body back. His powers had nothing to do with having an ape body, the ape body was the result of emergency medical treatment. There may have been a timeskip but besides one mention there's no further discussion of the fact his wife had been erased from existence by Allison. Who completely gets away scott free with everything - none of the family seem to hold much resentment towards her beyond the initial awkwardness of their first re-encounter, and meanwhile despite literally re-programming the universe to her desires her life ends up being mediocre. Ray's actor apparently refused to commit to another season and the in-universe explanation was just that he walked out on Allison, but that's really the closest thing to consequences she faces. The show runners argued he felt "out of time" since he was from the 1960s which is just pretty stupid for an already stupid show.
The start of Klaus's main b-plot was really bizarre because I don't understand why he'd go antagonise a drug dealer into shooting him like that, but once it got going it was a pretty fun side story that was actually pretty entertaining, at least until Allison got involved. But that's mostly because you give Robert Sheehan any script and it'd be entertaining, plus it was the last bit of storyline from the comics they had left.
Also why was Sir Reginald's wife on the moon? The fact that Luther had been sent to do pointless work on the moon just to keep him busy was a great twist and it doesn't make any sense that Sir Reginald's wife was up there.
I think the actual ending that would have at least been slightly satisfying would have been if Five and Vanya had conspired, and Vanya had drawn all the marigold out of them - barring Five, who then teleported the remaining siblings into the subway before teleporting back (since he can't teleport once Vanya drained the marigold). They then return all the marigold to the cleanse, Five redeeming himself for having had that affair with Lila. The rest of the siblings go live in the original timeline, because if their kids can exist in the original timeline then so can they. Also ties in more with Five's original characterisation of being the one who actually wrangles his family into trying to stop the apocalypse, Vanya being the ultimate cause of the apocalypse (and therefore helping to end it) and is just far better than a whole "we'll all kill ourselves" ending - followed by a coda where some of the actual villains of the show are depicted having a happy life in the primary timeline.
Also a lot of the show is an exploration of how abusive parenting can mess you up as adults - the characters somewhat resemble different archetypes for responses to abuse, whether that's a "adult in a child's body" like 5 who was forced into parenting his siblings, someone who's repressed all their emotions until they experience explosive rage like Vanya or someone who's internalised the need to manipulate and struggles with authenticity (and ends up more than a smidge abusive herself) Allison. A chunk of what they do in the season is learn how to exist as adult siblings removed from the context of being damaged children with an abusive father. So thematically the ending being "the world would be a better place if we were never born, let's all kill ourselves" is not the greatest.
Half truth. Ellen still played Vanya for an episode and a half, just so there could be the scene where she comes out as Viktor. I suppose she saw this as being reasonable compared to there needing to be some sort of magic light flash where she just appeared as Viktor fully formed - although that would have potentially been more in-universe belivable than what actually happened.
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2020
Appreciate all you fellow Kiwis doing the tedious work. Thanks to what I've seen here I now know to not waste my time on Umbrella Academy. Doubt that I would've given the state of what things are, but bless y'all for the "spoilers."
When it comes down to it, you all label trash as trash, and I love all of you for it. RIP Ellen. I'd rather watch QVC at this point.
When it comes down to it, you all label trash as trash, and I love all of you for it. RIP Ellen. I'd rather watch QVC at this point.
LaughJoke2.0
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2023
That is what basically her wife did. Also, she is so feminine in her body language it's hilarious.
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2013
so wait, if ben got killed by reginald in the original timeline, then why did he never tell clause what he did when ben turned into a ghost?
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2022
I think the funny thing about Allison's deal with the father in season 3 is that even though she got Claire back, Ray still leaves her in season 4. This woman changed the very fabric of the universe to be with him and show him the more accepting future for blacks, and the nigger still leaves her. lol (season 3 and season 4 spoilers)
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2021
It feels like they just shipped Klaus off to a whole other solo storyline maybe because Robert Sheehan couldn’t convincingly maintain enthusiasm for an entire season around dear Ellen.
Pure speculation of course, but given his very ‘Mark Hamill style’, press junket remarks beforehand along the lines of, “fans, expect nothing and you’ll receive everything“ about the final season, I think he was pessimistic about how it was going to be cut.
(& no real shade to him as an actor, he and Five carry the whole show).
Pure speculation of course, but given his very ‘Mark Hamill style’, press junket remarks beforehand along the lines of, “fans, expect nothing and you’ll receive everything“ about the final season, I think he was pessimistic about how it was going to be cut.
(& no real shade to him as an actor, he and Five carry the whole show).
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2021
He got shot in the back of the head immediately after freeing Jennifer, so feasibly he wouldn't have actually known who killed him. Still fitted with the cover story that they messed up during a mission which resulted in Ben's death.
The plot line he goes on is lifted from the comics but doesn't really connect to his later character development about getting sober, which is why it was so hamfistedly forced in. An interesting plot line could have been him learning to come to terms with his powers - he's overcompensating for his previous self destructive tendencies, so having him regain them and then actually get talked down by Claire and learn to master them would have been a really good plot point.
Or maybe even something like he had gotten stuck on the subway system with Five instead of Lila. One of my favourite scenes in that show are his scenes with Five when they go to the prosthetic eye place.
Robert Sheehan is fairly intelligent. He no doubt noticed that The Umbrella Academy was cut from 8 seasons to 4 about a month after Season 3 released, and then a few months later announced that Season 3 would be cut from 10 to 6 episodes. He knows why, and also knows this last season was put out just so they wouldn't be accused of cancelling it over Ellen. But also they all had to read the scripts and perform them. I'm reminded of the Game of Thrones cast being interviewed over Season 8
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2013
when they showed the behind the cenes pictures at the end of the episode i think iv'e only seen ellen only once in them, and it was a shot of them on the van. no goofing off, standing with her co stars, nothing.
It's really frustrating that the show decided to focus and center so much on Ellen, presumably because she is the Big Star, rather than Klaus and Five, who basically everybody who likes the show likes much more. I wonder if that grated on Ellen. She's the most famous by far in a cast of literally who, and nobody even likes her or her character.
How many plotlines focused on her and her issues? Season 1 is about her being sad. Season 2 is about her being a lesbian. Season 3 is about her being a troon. These plots weren't enjoyable and didn't add much to the story. I haven't watched Season 4, but I enjoy that this thread has turned into the unofficial umbrella academy griefing thread.
How many plotlines focused on her and her issues? Season 1 is about her being sad. Season 2 is about her being a lesbian. Season 3 is about her being a troon. These plots weren't enjoyable and didn't add much to the story. I haven't watched Season 4, but I enjoy that this thread has turned into the unofficial umbrella academy griefing thread.
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2023
From the neck up Ellen looks more like an elderly lesbian aunt than my elderly lesbian aunty.
LaughJoke2.0
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2023
I swear the only thing this broad could now star in is a Heaven's Gate bio.
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2024
I don't really care about the umbrella academy or Ellen Page herself. But a family member is watching it and I need to point out how funny is seeing her in the new seasons as "victor"
We are seeing a dub in another language and for Page's character after her transition they made an actual guy voice her and it is really bizarre and funny to me to see an obviously female character with a man voice. I mean is she even on testosterone? She doesn't even look like your typical pubic hair beard pooner, she doesnt even give that uncanny vibe of clearly a female but with minor masculine characteristics most pooners have so her voice stands out way too much to me.
She doesn't even have the usual frog voice, she is voiced by a regular guy that doesn't even have a high pitch voice.
We are seeing a dub in another language and for Page's character after her transition they made an actual guy voice her and it is really bizarre and funny to me to see an obviously female character with a man voice. I mean is she even on testosterone? She doesn't even look like your typical pubic hair beard pooner, she doesnt even give that uncanny vibe of clearly a female but with minor masculine characteristics most pooners have so her voice stands out way too much to me.
She doesn't even have the usual frog voice, she is voiced by a regular guy that doesn't even have a high pitch voice.
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2022
Hard to be a manly man when a punch might kill you.