Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[m0rnutz]

That's not a face to say "no" to. That's a face to throw your head back to face the sky and bellow out a B-movie level "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

That's the face you look up and see while your "NO" is muffled.

 

[lindsayfan]

Isn't he so dreamy with his expressionless eyes and the way he'll stare you down?

I blinked first

 

[lindsayfan]

Look, I'm sorry to double-post, but I hope y'all are following Lucas' spiralling freakout post-election.

While many of his recent Facebook updates are mostly just the same ol' Telomalaise, he does seem to be getting steadily angrier. There are mentions of the riots, and random highlights like him cooking some horrendous cheeto-dipped chicken dish (earning praise from his aunt) and posting a weird poem:

Wern's also been posting lots of rant videos on his YouTube channel. Spergouts about Trump and the stock market as well as lots of the usual. Lucas pronounces misogyny "mice-ojny" and telomerase "tellummerase."

Team-up with Dan Cilley when???

 

[aerostar88]

Team-up with Dan Cilley when???

Only in our dreams. We all know Dan is so right-wing he's always going to support daddy Trump (provoking much anger in people like Lucas) because he will totally get Dan the high paying job he deserves and the personal brothel he desires deserves.

Lucas just wants the brothel. Working is for rich assholes only. That being said, the Werner-Cilley fight might be the greatest autistic slapfight we ever see on here.

It's kind of like how ADF used to beef with Chris around the time of Bob's passing. They're both two sides of the same autistic coin. Lucas would probably call Dan a rich womanizer or something. And Dan would just chimp about glooten to Lucas.

 

[strandedcastaway]

Only in our dreams. We all know Dan is so right-wing he's always going to support daddy Trump (provoking much anger in people like Lucas) because he will totally get Dan the high paying job he deserves and the personal brothel he desires deserves.

Lucas just wants the brothel. Working is for rich assholes only. That being said, the Werner-Cilley fight might be the greatest autistic slapfight we ever see on here.

It's kind of like how ADF used to beef with Chris around the time of Bob's passing. They're both two sides of the same autistic coin. Lucas would probably call Dan a rich womanizer or something. And Dan would just chimp about glooten to Lucas.

"Two sides of the same autistic coin" is such a perfect description. They both do think they're entitled to underage girls though, so they could bond over that. I'd like to see the two of them strutting down the street together like homeless Travoltas in "Saturday Night Fever".

 

[saltwatertaffy]

Look, I'm sorry to double-post, but I hope y'all are following Lucas' spiralling freakout post-election.

While many of his recent Facebook updates are mostly just the same ol' Telomalaise, . . .

Is that from his olympiaatheist FB page? I thought he got rid of that one for good bc of that Asking-A-16-Year-Old-For-Boob-Shots-Via-FB-Messaging thing. I'd look it up myself but he blocked me from that profile.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

"Two sides of the same autistic coin" is such a perfect description. They both do think they're entitled to underage girls though, so they could bond over that. I'd like to see the two of them strutting down the street together like homeless Travoltas in "Saturday Night Fever".

"Saturday Night MRSA"

Well, you can tell by the way I lurk the street
I'm a millenial's man, Red Robin to eat?
Telomeres long and women fake
I got the best recipe
Flaming Cheetos Chicken Bake
And now it's all right, it's okay
But don't dare look the other way
No one seems to understand
What MRSA and the 'tism can do to a man

Whether you're a Bernie bro or whether you're a Trumper
You're just feelin' the Wern, feelin' the Wern
Feel my hair recedin' and back sores all a bleedin'
And we're feelin' the Wern, feelin' the Wern
Ah, ha, ha, ha, feelin' the Wern, feelin' the Wern
Ah, ha, ha, ha, feelin' the Werrrrrnnnnnnnn

 

[Bassomatic]

I've missed Lucas's insanity because I do use social media.

This was extra enjoyable :

tl;dw
Unless you let me fuck kids.... we are going to melt the polar ice caps. He must have huge hands to grasp all those straws at once !

 

[moorhen]

Look, I'm sorry to double-post, but I hope y'all are following Lucas' spiralling freakout post-election.

While many of his recent Facebook updates are mostly just the same ol' Telomalaise, he does seem to be getting steadily angrier. There are mentions of the riots, and random highlights like him cooking some horrendous cheeto-dipped chicken dish (earning praise from his aunt) and posting a weird poem:
View attachment 155608

Wern's also been posting lots of rant videos on his YouTube channel. Spergouts about Trump and the stock market as well as lots of the usual. Lucas pronounces misogyny "mice-ojny" and telomerase "tellummerase."

Team-up with Dan Cilley when???

That poem is beautiful, definitely the kind of poem that will convince teenaged girls to bang him.
And I'd like to thank Lucas for giving me a new title, I needed something that really popped.

 

[lesbolution]

My personal favorite thing about the chicken cheeto mess is that he not only breaded with Cheetos, he left the Cheetos to sit on the chicken overnight and was planning on serving it on top of a caesar salad.

 

[aerostar88]

Breaking Wern News!!! Dear Leader is allegedly in the hospital being treated for his dry dick.

I guess someone heard him screaming at himself about his loveshy and political angst and had him committed. If it's actually true, that is. I can see this being a great way to try to get the millenial girls to take pity on poor insane Lucas.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Breaking Wern News!!! Dear Leader is allegedly in the hospital being treated for his dry dick.

View attachment 155807

I guess someone heard him screaming at himself about his loveshy and political angst and had him committed. If it's actually true, that is. I can see this being a great way to try to get the millenial girls to take pity on poor insane Lucas.

"At work"? He mentioned this "work" in one of his youtube vids, and I thought he meant his rants WERE his work, but this seems to imply a more rational definition of the word.

If true, WHERE would the Wern work; WHO would hire him, and HOW did it happen?

Or is it all lies...? Thoughts?

EDIT: "Crying and Yelling in the bathroom"? By himself? Or was he recording another episode of "Telomering teens to my dick", got a bit too into it, and got overheard? I've often wondered how he doesn't get taken in as a public nuisance when filming his youtube stuff, because in certain vids, particularly some of the more recent ones, he gets in an extremely loud, manic rhythm. Echoes suggest a bathroom.

 

[lesbolution]

"At work"? He mentioned this "work" in one of his youtube vids, and I thought he meant his rants WERE his work, but this seems to imply a more rational definition of the word.

If true, WHERE would the Wern work; WHO would hire him, and HOW did it happen?

Or is it all lies...? Thoughts?

I personally think his mom put him in behavioral therapy and then told him she got him a job so he actually went. could be wrong.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I personally think his mom put him in behavioral therapy and then told him she got him a job so he actually went. could be wrong.

Wait, really? I thought he was estranged from his parents?

 

[lesbolution]

Wait, really? I thought he was estranged from his parents?

His mom makes an effort from afar. As far as I know they're not really close, but she wants him to get help. It might have been a counselor or social worker, but I mostly think it's behavioral therapy because I've never heard of a job where you cook for your co-workers regularly and have morning meetings.

 

[AnOminous]

Breaking Wern News!!! Dear Leader is allegedly in the hospital being treated for his dry dick.

View attachment 155807

I guess someone heard him screaming at himself about his loveshy and political angst and had him committed. If it's actually true, that is. I can see this being a great way to try to get the millenial girls to take pity on poor insane Lucas.

>best laid efforts

I don't think the Wern has thought that line through.

 

[Kosher Dill]

"At work"? He mentioned this "work" in one of his youtube vids, and I thought he meant his rants WERE his work, but this seems to imply a more rational definition of the word.

If true, WHERE would the Wern work; WHO would hire him, and HOW did it happen?

I assume it's something related to one of those mental health/supported living places he goes to. Like, part of the deal for getting whatever it is they give him is that he "volunteers" at some sort of thing they run.

 

[QueenBurritoSupreme]

I personally think his mom put him in behavioral therapy and then told him she got him a job so he actually went. could be wrong.

His case manager/wrangler got him into the program. He says it's "volunteer" work but you're right, it's a group behavioral therapy programs for the exceptional.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

His case manager/wrangler got him into the program. He says it's "volunteer" work but you're right, it's a group behavioral therapy programs for the exceptional.

Any news on the Wern? Is he still convalescing a mental ward, or what....?

 

[aerostar88]

There is indeed some news on the wern.

Thoughts?