Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Oxyjen]

I'll be there rocking back and forth on my X and Y axis.

Sorry for the image responses I’ll stop now.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

When we get to court, I’m gonna need you to take these recording devices into the bathroom and I’m gonna need you to put ’em wayyyyy up inside your butthole. Put ’em wayyy up inside there, as far as they can go. Someone’s got to do it, Kiwis. These recording devices aren’t gonna get through court security unless they are in someone’s rectum, Kiwis. They’ll fall right out of mine. I’ve done this too many times, Kiwis. You’re all young, you have your whole lives ahead of you. And your anal cavities are still taut yet malleable. You gotta do it for sneed, Kiwis. You gotta put these recording devices inside your butt.

 

[Grotesque Bushes]

I sincerely hope every over of you will post your scanned notes here, not just transcripts. Scribbles for Jesus Mon.

 

[not william stenchever]

It is imperative that you do not reveal to the court that you are already living in their walls.

 

[huckbeine]

reminder that audio/video/photo recording inside the court is not allowed, but it is outside. so feel free to take videos of the Balldo outside the courthouse.

would Null be so kind to print out some press badges for the troops on the ground?

 

[Chunky Salsa]

would Null be so kind to print out some press badges for the troops on the ground?

"The holder of this badge is officially RETARDED, and will need to sit as close to the accused as possible."

 

[Dumbledore's Onlyfans]

Two more bits of unsolicited advice for those who are planning to attend:

If you've taken notes, transcribe them into legible English as soon as possible, before you forget what your own scribbles mean. If you're planning to have lunch, transcribe as you eat, don't put it off. Otherwise, go straight home or back to your hotel room and decode them immediately.

Also, idk how it is in Minnesota, but a lot of courthouses nowadays have metal detector screening. Plan on bringing nothing but a pad of paper, your writing implements, and your car keys. Make sure there aren't any bottle openers or anything unidentifiable and sharp on your key ring, or it might be confiscated, like my beloved Corona shark-shaped bottle opener was ;_;

 

[Bad as Can]

so feel free to take videos of the Balldo outside the courthouse.

What kind of car does Nick drive? Does he still have the lawpope?

If Ralph shows up, does he still have the red truck?

 

[Gobermental Supervisor]

reminder that audio/video/photo recording inside the court is not allowed, but it is outside. so feel free to take videos of the Balldo outside the courthouse.

would Null be so kind to print out some press badges for the troops on the ground?

"This is Voluntary Kiwi Press Member reporting live from the Crackyoha County court for KF88 News. Mister Crackieta, you just accepted a plea deal, giving up on erectile disfunction medication for the next 15 years, what do you want to tell your fans about the medicinal effects of cocaine on behaviorally retarded children?"

 

[LimeRikki]

Will this outfit be allowed? I can drop the hat but nothing else

View attachment 6316841

No pants?

A risky fashion choice, but perhaps the judge will be into it.

 

[parsnip]

"The holder of this badge is officially RETARDED, and will need to sit as close to the accused as possible."

They'll already be easy to identify, with their "Please be patient. I have autism" shirts.

 

[prolapsed_cranium]

You're NOT. There's literally a sign outside the courthouse saying you cannot do that.

Do that and you are committing the literal CRIME of contempt of court, and risking spending at least six months in jail.

How do you fucking retards continue to suggest "let's commit a crime" on every page of this fucking thread. STOP IT! PLEASE!

YAH HONNAH, NICK REKEITA SAID I COULD ACT LIKE A FAGGOT IN COURT, BISH.

 

[AnOminous]

I think we can probably get a transcript - not sure how long but usually a few months after a case depends on state. Fingers crossed its sooner.

If you actually pay the official court reporter, you can get it whenever you want, although the faster you want it, the more you'll pay. You could get it the next day if you paid enough, at least if they offer expedited service.

Most people wait for a party to the case to pay for it, since it's the first person requesting it who pays the full fee. Everyone subsequent generally just gets charged the usual per page rate.

Yeah but apparently he’s a veteran and a local TV journo who covered a mass shooting, in addition to local sports and local politics. It just all strikes me as very odd. It would be like Tucker Carlson posting a Xitter clip saying “and let’s talk about my friend, Sneed. He bought a feed store. It used to belong to a guy named Chuck. Why did Chuck sell his store? Did the Chinese sell him subpar merchandise? Was he coerced to hire migrant labor by local politicians? If this country was as great as it used to be, Chuck would still own his feed store. Instead, it’s now owned and managed by Sneed.”

It makes no sense!

If Chuck sold to Sneed, the prosecution must concede, it's an acquittal we need!

 

[Schpoots]

So Nicks big legal gambit is to call farmers pedos with the desperate hope that more people will act like Qrisst and do gayop bullshit? The case must be going well for him.

 

[Gobermental Supervisor]

So Nicks big legal gambit is to call farmers pedos with the desperate hope that more people will act like Qrisst and do gayop bullshit? The case must be going well for him.

It is going so super well he is claiming big W on Twitter and then refuses to explain to his followers what that big W is.

 

[The N Word]

Any guesses on how many internet retards will be taken away in contempt for recording and/or autistic behavior?

I'm expecting 2.

 

[AnOminous]

Playing catch up on the baldo happenings, but my theory is that Nick has convinced Kayla and/or April to take a plea deal.
His plan is to use the admission of guilt (as part of Kayla, Aprils, or both, plea deal), as the proof that the coke was not his and that he had nothing to do with it.

Effectively throwing them under the bus to take the fall

If that's his idea, it's a really stupid one, because either of them pleading guilty makes Nick guilty too. If he tries to use that as a fact in his own case, he's still guilty of constructive possession, because he knew his wife or his other whore had the cocaine that was lying around in his bedroom and that he had in his safe and did nothing to remove it from his home.

So if they're guilty, so is he.

It would be very retarded, even by Cuckieta's standards.

I'm a court stenographer. If you want a next-day transcript from the hearing, make sure to contact the court stenographer ahead of time as they need to make arrangements to have the transcript worked on by scopists while they are writing in the courtroom. We pay others to help us produce the transcript quickly and need as much advance notice as possible. Also, transcripts from court hearings are not transcribed unless someone orders them. A full day's hearing is usually 200-350 pgs. Another great option would be a realtime transcript. You see what the court reporter writes in real time. It's not a perfect transcript, it's a rough draft, and usually the court reporter needs to be certified as a realtime reporter to be able to do this. Contact the court reporter for all this information. Attached are the costs in my court. Not sure what MN costs are but this gives you a ballpark idea of what you'll pay.
View attachment 6316501

This is solid information and completely consistent with what I know.

Just for the record here's the photo of the prosecutor in 2008
View attachment 6316500
After being told to drop the ascot he switched to a bowtie before retiring in 2017.
View attachment 6316502

At first I thought the judge was being a bit prissy about this, but now I think he should have thrown this dumb asshole straight into jail for contempt for just looking like this. What an absolute faggot.

 

[porkWellington]

Dick saying "They shouldn't televise Nick's trial because people are trying to make money off it". What happened when Nick streamed Rittenhouse and Depp?

 

[Airstrip One]

Two Internet middleweights square up to one-another, stirred to a giddy state of mutual enmity by their back and forth banter through the venting of the shower block, that lies beneath the architecturally-unique gunted roof of the Ralphadrome.

In the blue corner, the Amish chad, Nicholai Rekieta, abundantly bearded around the neck, adamant that the modern scourge upon the soul that is television shalt not be used as a medium to broadcast those criminal proceedings which hath been unjustly brought against him by a Methodist element, that hath cast its wretched seed within the hallways of the liberal media.

In the red corner, the virgin technocrat, Joshua Moon, who believes that Rekieta's shame must be digitised, portioned into data packets, threaded through fibre-optic cable, rebounded off satellites and thereafter projected into deep space for the contemplation of alien civilisations.

Nick Rekieta, tearing around his home county in his Amish buggy, zealous in his belief that any documentation of his trial will assume the form of a parable-themed puppet show. His pupils dilated by the home-grown cocaine that he hath ground himself between flat stones, each three cubits in diameter, one drawn across the other by Enoch, his faithful mule, who endures in spite of a lame hind leg.

Joshua Moon, sloping around Serbia, or some other backwater nation located along the fraying hem of Europe, amped-up on cans of Monster, lusting after the pizza that he may only consume on Fridays for non-religious reasons.

Nick Rekieta, ascending the replica of Mount Sinai he hath sculpted from mashed potato to denounce his enemies as pederasts.

Joshua Moon, sneeding from the brackish lowlands, almost at sea level.

Nick Rekieta, his balls encased within a chastity device modelled on the chamber in Heaven within which the voice of the Lord is said to dwell.

Joshua Moon, sexually aroused by the background hum of server farms.

Nick Rekita with his fully-functional, 100% wooden, AR15 'neath his bed in readiness for a night time visitation from Pentecostalists.

Joshua Moon with his broad misanthropy and dreams of shotgun ownership.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

Any guesses on how many internet retards will be taken away in contempt for recording and/or autistic behavior?

I'm expecting 2.

Just the LOCALS gimp Nick hired to point his cellphone around in court and shout "Ahm frum da KEEWEE FAHRMS JAWSH SENT ME TO RECORD BAWLDO" right before he's hauled off and Nick gets on the stand to explain how awful Josh and the Kiwifarms are and this is why there should be no recording and not a single person in the room.

Seriously, this is gonna happen. Nick is going to find someone retarded enough to interrupt the court procedings in the name of Kiwifarms and Josh Moon.