Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Watching Rekieta]

The person who should really be concerned about being thrown under the bus is April.

I've been of this opinion for a while but in a different way.

I believe Nick's attorney has been working on a plea that gets the kids back and keep Nick out of prison. Once they reached an agreement, prosecutor offered the deal to Kayla too (same charges/evidence - probably defered adjudication).

I believe a sticking point was April. The prosecutor/KCHHS/GAL did not want the coke whore around the kids and wanted Nick/Kayla to keep her out of the house. Nick, in his weaselly lawyer way said there was no legal reason to keep her away as she was not charged with anything when the plea agreement was being negotiated. I think the prosecutor, to protect the kids, filed the lowest level felony she could against April. Nick inadvertently threw her under the bus by forcing the prosecutor to charge.

I think Nick and Kayla will take the plea at the omnibus. They will then try to get the court to rule against the restriction that keeps April out of the house. The twist that the court will have to rule on is whether the restriction on April is reasonable/enforceable. I think that sticking point is why the plea hasn't been announced. His argument that the coke whore needs access to his kids is what he doesn't want recorded.

 

[Kheapathic]

Have you even been reading this thread, where half the posts are seemingly from fucking retards talking about how they want to go full retard and go into a literal criminal courtroom full of cops and a prosecutor and a judge whose job is to put criminals in prison and commit crimes while they're in it?

Some people have made serious suggestions in this direction, though, to the point it's almost DSP-sphere levels of lunacy.

As much as Null hates the DSP board; when Phil and his horse were going to Connecticut to visit his parents (and get married); there were some people theorizing how they could get an IRL spotting of him. Except we then said, he's going to be at an Airport, the only place it'd be worse to do dumb shit is in some sort of government building.

And here we are, the DSP tards knew not to start shit in an Airport, but people are willing to risk jail to make the Rekieta hearing extra special.

 

[Obnoxious Asshole]

If I see Ralph at the courthouse I’ll just take out a baggie of piggy kibble and throw it at his hooves. He’ll be paralytic for the rest of the day.

View attachment 6319836

Okay, here is what needs to happen. After Ralph is anesthesized, you bait Qayla with some Gummi Benzos. As Pez by Pzifer captures her GABA receptors, @Fapcop lives his dream and spirits Qayla off. Leave Ralph in her car with her bra in his mouth. Everybody wins.

 

[Sharpeteer]

Okay, here is what needs to happen. After Ralph is anesthesized, you bait Qayla with some Gummi Benzos. As Pez by Pzifer captures her GABA receptors, @Fapcop lives his dream and spirits Qayla off. Leave Ralph in her car with her bra in his mouth. Everybody wins.

Fapcop was the main character all along.

 

[anionfarflung]

I never asked for this. They say I'm a voluntary member, but I'm not sure voluntary is the right word.

I got a "member" for you right here, and - believe me - it's not going to be "voluntary."

 

[Green Man]

Question for the court people here, how common is it for people to court watch? Because unless its like traffic court i assume it would only be friends/family attending and that means it would be rather obvious to know if its some kiwi coming in to report. imagine its the only time in the history of this courthouse that its standing room only because that many people want to watch Nicky.

I'm not a court person but it's not too uncommon, a lot of retired guys [especially retired guys who had a job in, around or adjacent to court proceedings/criminal justice] will go to their local courthouse almost every day they can to spectate on stupid inconsequential cases. I've known three retired guys [former bailiff, retired attorney and third guy was in corrections] who did it all the time. It's sort of like the old guys you see every morning at McDonalds, same group sitting there sipping their free coffee and shooting the shit about how we should have finished the job in Vietnam. To these guys I'd guess it's about like watching Judge Judy or Court TV. Would bet though that this case will get significantly more traffic in the courtroom than they've likely ever had unless they had some high-profile murder case or serial killer there.

I don't even know why Nick is acting like he's gotten any big W's in this thing, okay so your kids are currently residing with you [probably under heavy supervision] and the hair follicle test might have been "erroneous", but so fucking what? You're still looking at a fucking F1 at the very least and quite possibly 2-3 years [at least] in prison, you're still dealing with bond conditions, your kids probably still don't trust you as a result of you being a faggot with no self control and everybody still knows that you're a cautionary PSA against thinking with your dick. What's the big fucking win here? I have a feeling that these premature victory laps will age rather poorly and none of the people currently "defending" your honor will write to you or put money on your books for soups when you get sent up for an extended period. Not to mention they're all only doing it for clout and because they're assmad over their respective threads on this very website for documenting their retarded behavior.

 

[spacko]

well my connection is garbage as is my mathematical skill, but here is some data i compiled purely out of interest earlier today regarding Nick "Makita Rekieta" and DarksydePhil

if these numbers dont add up then its not my fault, there was nothing i could do, i did nothing wrong



(edit: page!=post)

Year

DSP General Thread Page Count per Year

Rekieta General Thread Page Count per Year

DSP General Thread Total Pages

Rekieta General Thread Total Pages

2013	15	0	15	0
2014	43	0	58	0
2015	220	0	278	0
2016	600	0	878	0
2017	1219	0	2097	0
2018	1866	0	3963	0
2019	1085	65	5048	65
2020	1443	143	6491	208
2021	3957	279	10448	487
2022	2670	786	13118	1273
2023	1053	2835	14171	4108
2024 *as of this post	740	1930	14911	6038

i want lolcow of the year to be as fair and equitable as possible and i think the sterling effort Nick has put in should be reflected in a "big picture" kind of showdown, as much as DSP wins by default so easily and consistently

im sure a third variable would provide more context but im not here for context

i like my data raw and hard like my cocaine and as a qualified mathematicanian this data says Nick is on track to not just winning LOTY twice, but THRICE CONSECUTIVELY.

Rekieta literally cannot stop winning. But neither can DSP..?

 

[AltisticRight]

well my connection is garbage as is my mathematical skill, but here is some data i compiled purely out of interest earlier today regarding Nick "Makita Rekieta" and DarksydePhil

if these numbers dont add up then its not my fault, there was nothing i could do, i did nothing wrong

View attachment 6320089

Year

DSP General Thread Page Count per Year

Rekieta General Thread Page Count per Year

DSP General Thread Total Pages

Rekieta General Thread Total Pages

2013	15	0	15	0
2014	43	0	58	0
2015	220	0	278	0
2016	600	0	878	0
2017	1219	0	2097	0
2018	1866	0	3963	0
2019	1085	65	5048	65
2020	1443	143	6491	208
2021	3957	279	10448	487
2022	2670	786	13118	1273
2023	1053	2835	14171	4108
2024	740	1930	14911	6038

i want lolcow of the year to be as fair and equitable as possible and i think the sterling effort Nick has put in should be reflected in a "big picture" kind of showdown, as much as DSP wins by default so easily and consistently

im sure a third variable would provide more context but im not here for context

i like my data raw and hard like my cocaine

Nah.
Gambling crackhead and washed sci-fi author has nothing.

I personally hope DSP wins so those "detractors" can get even more upset.

 

[spacko]

lmao bossmanjack was my first thought as a third variable and i stopped on account of the short timeframe and discarded it as scientifically biased but hoped other people would add it so i included the data in table format in case anyone else wanted to add other lolcows and i am also very lazy

DSP has already eclipsed his detractors as the lowest tier scum and is undergoing the greatest redemption arc in the history of the internet, quote me on this

 

[Dr Naomi Hunter]

If I see Ralph at the courthouse I’ll just take out a baggie of piggy kibble and throw it at his hooves. He’ll be paralytic for the rest of the day.

View attachment 6319836

If he looks at you suspiciously or is non compliant, just hide a few in a trash burger and he will eventually eat them.

 

[DSP for president 2032]

I tried my best. I'm bad at audio editing.

View attachment 6317384

Did you find an instance of Rick saying 'kiwis' or is that AI voice? Either way amazing job lol

 

[Sharpeteer]

is undergoing the greatest redemption arc in the history of the internet, quote me on this

You're right.

His recent teamup with Kino Casino to react to Rich's documentary, according to him, was his most successful YouTube stream of all time, and apparently they have more planned.

I hope it continues, one reason being that it would come full circle for me - I was first introduced to Nick for the DSP bankruptcy, and he did a stream making fun of Phil for many hours, only to have the roles completely reverse four years later.

These kinds of stories are what keep these people interesting. lol

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Congrats to Nicky, you made sure the Internet couldn't watch your trial. Too bad for you the Internet isn't the one prosecuting you retard. Regardless of who gets to watch the trial, you're still facing potential years in prison. Especially if your whore decides to cut a deal and testify against you. Besides that, we can always FOIA the transcript, so we will know sooner or later every retarded thing you said in court.

 

[Seymour Duncan]

Congrats to Nicky, you made sure the Internet couldn't watch your trial.

Pre-trial hearings. Those aren't generally allowed to be recorded anyway outside of very exceptional circumstances, the last section of the decision said to the effect of "don't jump the gun nigga" suggesting that the motion to record would have better success with the trial itself.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Pre-trial hearings. Those aren't generally allowed to be recorded anyway outside of very exceptional circumstances, the last section of the decision said to the effect of "don't jump the gun nigga" suggesting that the motion to record would have better success with the trial itself.

Ah okay, I must have gotten confused. I know the upcoming hearing can't be broadcasted or recorded but I thought the recording of the trial itself had been quashed. Good, we still have a chance to watch Nick put on a Jim Carrey performance before the court.

 

[AnOminous]

He talks about how a chatter is wrong to say that Rekieta is "lucky" to be married 18 years, because if he was lucky, he would have had a prenup.

What a disgusting piece of shit this worm is.

What the state believes isn't relevant. The only thing that matters is what they can prove beyond a reasonable doubt.

In well over 90% of cases, it's what they can scare you into pleading to because the consequences of not surrendering are utterly life-shattering.

The prosecutor wouldn't offer her a plea where she exonerates other people charged with the same crime.

What prosecutor in the world takes a plea that involves less notches on his pistol?

They want pleas where someone turns state's evidence.

I mean I'm not saying this is so retarded even Nick wouldn't do it, more like whatever absolutely retarded idea you have as to Nick's strategy, whatever his strategy actually is is probably even more retarded.

I'm now of the position that he won't be going to prison.

This is the pessimistic but realistic position most people have, I think. I think the outer limits of what he's facing, unless he goes googolplex level retard, is a brief jail stint as a "wake up you asshole" lesson with supervised probation. And even that's a stretch.

I still hope for him to end up in prison for a couple of years. That would rule. And maybe Patrick Tomlinson could win his deserved trophy in his absence.

 

[that_monika]

Do they ger checked out before entering the court? Can you bring in your phone and just record sound secretly?

Better yet, record it on video so we can all watch you getting tased and beaten by security and laugh at you for being a fucking retard.

No one, including kiwifarms, wants to be associated with some lame sperg loser who tries to pull this kind of nonsense, because they're all like Riley. They're all fat retarded losers who should be fed into a meat processer and turned into pink slime. Don't be that.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Better yet, record it on video so we can all watch you getting tased and beaten by security and laugh at you for being a fucking retard.

No one, including kiwifarms, wants to be associated with some lame sperg loser who tries to pull this kind of nonsense, because they're all like Riley. They're all fat retarded losers who should be fed into a meat processer and turned into pink slime. Don't be that.

That's a good idea. Riley, get your fat retarded pedo ass to that courtroom and start recording as blatantly as you possibly can. If they start giving you shit, start screaming SovCitisms at the top of your lungs. Don't worry, the tazer will only hurt for a few minutes.

 

[mailfrawd]

He talks about how a chatter is wrong to say that Rekieta is "lucky" to be married 18 years, because if he was lucky, he would have had a prenup.

What a disgusting piece of shit this worm is.

It seems like the more time Nick spent online drinking, the more their relationship probably suffered, to the point where she started eating pills and abandoning her duties as a wife and a mother. The fact she doesn't have a job and they had a nanny says everything I need to know.

I'm not disagreeing, but if Kayla is a BPD pill eating lazy ass who can't manage the home (which all signs point to yes), then I could be persuaded to agree with this particular regret. That being said, this would only be true if Nick hadn't been such a retard and was persistently making commitments he couldn't keep, and when he did show up to stream he only did so while perpetually intoxicated and bemoaning the situation he put himself in.

 

[AnOminous]

Let's go through what Nick's theory of the case will be as demonstrated by his public statements. Nick already has strongly alluded to the idea that his defense (provided he doesn't somehow toss the warrant and end the case right there)

All he needs to testify is the warrant is invalid, because of the bodycam footage where he THREW IT ON THE GROUND. Then yell "I'M AN ADULT! I'M NOT PART OF YOUR *SYSTEM*!"