💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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Holy shit those facial expressions.

He looks like he's gonna stab someone to death with a screwdriver.
 
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I can't tell what part of this new video is my favorite. The insane ramblings? The lying about things he definitely never did? The fact he wrote this on the back of a halloween-themed coloring book page he clearly tore out of said coloring book? The fact he is so weak he failed to rip apart paper the moment it was two sheets thick? The now signature creeper look we all know he thinks is super charming or handsome because he's a narcissist with no self-awareness? Hard to choose, but I'll go with the being too weak part.
 
WonderWino said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vxTbIx8RuMEWhat in the actual fuck is going on in this video.....?
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My theory is Lucas's halfbaked obsession with cosmology comes from his misunderstanding of the religious/atheist dichotomy.
He sees religious people talk academically about scripture, theology, the supernatural etc, so he thinks being the polar opposite means talking about things like galaxies, aliens, theoretical physics.
In reality, the other side of the coin is world history, secular morality, the rise and fall of civilizations, all things he knows nothing about.
 
VoidFace said:
I can't tell what part of this new video is my favorite. The insane ramblings? The lying about things he definitely never did? The fact he wrote this on the back of a halloween-themed coloring book page he clearly tore out of said coloring book? The fact he is so weak he failed to rip apart paper the moment it was two sheets thick? The now signature creeper look we all know he thinks is super charming or handsome because he's a narcissist with no self-awareness? Hard to choose, but I'll go with the being too weak part.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=sMy80MPvPq4
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I half expected the title of the video to be a spice girls reference and him to have included it in the video. Seems like exactly the kind of thing he'd do to sound as out of touch as possible to zoomers

I'm not convinced it isn't still a spice girls reference and if it is, somehow I don't think the average zoomer bae knows or cares about shit from 1996, long before they'd even been born. Whats next? Is he going to start bragging about his tamagotchi and collection of beast wars toys from back in the day? He had an original megatron zoom zoom and he'll totally chew your clit like its a piece of roast beef. Oh, yes
 
Mooooo! 🐄 🐮.

He is putting on a sign how he finger banged an 18 year old black girl when he was 30. Even if that is true, at no age should you go around announcing that to anyone on the Internet. And the other sign he talks about how he wants a young in shape woman. Of course, he as a fat, disabled, cow of a man, deserves just that. Keep going, Lucas, you're doing plenty good!

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I'm not saying anyone should say anything but does Mallon know what he's writing? It's clear hes back in the full care home and pilled to the max but, his behavior can't be healthy for the other innocent droolers.

I know hands off poo, but I'm still pretty disgusted when he took Jamie out for a beer. People that low are at such risk for addictions or over doing it. Also, Lucas history... he might have felt the dude up after a few beers.

OFC Lucas likes a girl who claims she gives good head.
 
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Ah yes, Lucas should have a "fit and tone" girlfriend who's "perfect, pretty and compassionate, hygienic" even though he's none of these at all because he's plenty good and if you're against any of that, you're a bigot. It's all about the ageism. It's not because Lucas has absolutely nothing to offer anyone, right?

Keep mooing, ya fat cow. It didn't score you that hot Gen Z bae the first time, what makes you think it'll work this time?
 
It's really an achievement to go this many decades with zero self awareness on a lovequest that even the most potent of autists could see is doomed. Most women have developed pretty keen creeper senses by the time they hit their mid teens but even an alien on their first day on planet earth could sense the powerful sex offender vibes coming off Lucas. Obviously he's not going to date some toned Gen Z chick, but he's not going to get a beat up woman in her 50's either. Hell, I don't think he could pay for sex at this point. They should put him on those anti-psychotics that annihilate the libido, for his wellbeing and the safety of women at large.
 
Bassomatic said:
I know hands off poo, but I'm still pretty disgusted when he took Jamie out for a beer. People that low are at such risk for addictions or over doing it. Also, Lucas history... he might have felt the dude up after a few beers.
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Disgusting, yeah.
I still love how Jamie - by Lucas's own admission - often beats Lucas in boardgames (including games Lucas invented).

Its funny because Lucas things of himself as some 200IQ philosopher scientist genius; then routinely gets beat by a legit sped.
not in the cards said:
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Steak and coffee?
Lucas really doesn't understand flavor and things that match, does he?
 

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Again with bringing food into his zoomer bae obsession in a creepy way. and he just keeps repeating the same thing over and over again. He's setting himself up to be catfished again

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Traced from the video where he's looking at the ceiling the whole time. Very flattering to give nothing but neckbearded wattle and nostril to the viewer. I'm assuming he was holding his phone low for the same reason he was talking quietly: trying not to get caught by Mallon staff making videos. What a huge turn-on for the "springy, nubile" baes that you have to sneak around your nursing home handlers to even make this.

I also love his recently debuted argument that because "gaps" of various kinds exist, from spaces between words and musical notes to the fact that things are different ages, that somehow means "the universe" supports age gap relationships. Or something? It's somehow less coherent than his old "telomerase" argument. There at least he had a theoretical mechanism for why his old man on teen breeding fetish was supposedly good, it created super baby DNA. Even though that's not true, at least you could follow his line of thought, it was just factually wrong. Here it's like "hey bae the sun is older than the earth so let's fuck". It's even more insane than when he used to ramble about aged cheese or wine.

All he does is sit around and think about why teenagers should fuck him. So far his big selling points are that he'll buy you a $100 steak once a month, and he supposedly fingerblasted a black girl. :story: at this lie, it's just very funny and revealing that this is what he thinks will make him cool to zoomer girls. Wow what a brave antiracist! That and wikipedia factoids that he looks up right before filming about how old or far away various stars are, are all he has. Hot cool quirky highschool girls are supposed to watch this and see a cool sex-haver and a science genius. It's astounding.
 
Sure you did, Lucas. You just miss stuffing your face with expensive steak. You need someone else to get you a job, don't you, Tubby?

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Da Dude123 said:
Sure you did, Lucas. You just miss stuffing your face with expensive steak. You need someone else to get you a job, don't you, Tubby?

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This was a menial Wal Mart job, likely doing something like stocking shelves and assembling orders for curbside etc. and he didn’t quit—he was, by his own admission—fired for not moving fast enough.
 
We're back to fantasies of going to a bar and saying some version of "hi, how are you/my name is..." to get a zoomer bae. I'm glad that wretched abortion of a "beard" is gone, at least:


He is really leaning into looking like white trash, though.
 
VoidFace said:
We're back to fantasies of going to a bar and saying some version of "hi, how are you/my name is..." to get a zoomer bae. I'm glad that wretched abortion of a "beard" is gone, at least:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=4YKTWH8igE0
He is really leaning into looking like white trash, though.
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Then do it, fat boy. Go on down to Lower Post Street and go into Jimmy Z's or maybe the Volstead Act and go up to a zoomer bae and say just that. Be sure to wear your Batman pantaloonies. Let us know how that goes, Lucas.
 
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